A realized personality involved many things, not all of which Matt understood.
It involved understanding and accepting himself, being firm and determined in his decisions, and not being influenced by other people's decisions on too deep a level. That meant that he should not stop being himself even if he did what someone else ordered.
That involved too many things that, on a mental level, affected him too much.
When Matt took the first step, even though he felt his body more liberated and felt he saw a path, he also felt more mental pressure.
It was as if his mind told him that his loyalty had gone down the drain.
And he had no way to deny that fact.
There has never been an excuse for what he did, and he knows it. He has never been a man who makes excuses regarding serious and important matters.
But is it true that he had been unfaithful?
