The last five weeks of his life has been a roller coaster of thrilling emotions for Yun Lui.
He has gotten over his long term crush which he never thought possible. He has lost his innocence in such an unorthodox way.
He had fallen hard in love with someone within a very short period of time and now that someone has trampled on his heart.
Like humpty dumpty, his heart was now unfixable. These pieces can never be fixed back.
"Aah, what did I even think I was doing", his unfocused tears filled eyes stared at the ceiling of his room.
Tomorrow was Xu Wu's wedding. His family have informed him that they'll be going to the main family house of the Yuns. That was where the ceremony will take place.
Tonight, he would share his last tears for his failed relationship with Xu Wu and before morning comes, he believes he will be okay. He has decided to accept the reality and move on with his life come tomorrow.
He will just choose to not marry anyone ever. That way, no one will know that he's been touched and his secret will be safe. The people in this village can be merciless when it came to things like this.
So just for tonight he'll cry for the last time. Afterwards, he will be okay. Okay to see his beloved being wedded to his cousin tomorrow.
Okay to officially admit that his lover was now going to be in the arms of someone else and not his own. Okay to accept that his boyfriend chose someone else over him.
Okay to be able to move on from his lover, it's not like he had any option in the first place but except to move on with his life.
He heard a sound of some something being thrown at his window so he went to check and there stood his beloved.
The resolution had earlier just evaporated. Rather, he felt happy to see him, maybe his Xu Wu would not go through with the wedding and has come to tell him that.
He opened both sides of his window and Xu Wu climbed in fast just as he had done so many times in the past weeks.
He immediately held Yun Lui's face with both of his hands. Like a hungry beast, he devoured Yun Lui's mouth and once again Yun Lui could not resist his touch.
His body had a mind of it own, it reacted to Xu Wu's caresses and kisses like it has been waiting for these.
Before he realised what was going on, he was now under him once again, being slammed hard into his body.
His was a moaning mess. His neat and long wavy black hair were now dishevelled and his eyes moistened with tears from the pleasure he was receiving.
'Aah, I miss this', he thought. His muddied mind decided to throw caution to the winds and enjoy the pleasure he was being given.
That night, they were like two hungry wolves, they made love like never before.
Yun Lui was woke up in the middle of the night to find the other side of the bed empty. He saw a small note slightly tucked under the lamp. He smiled and took it to read.
The note reads, "I'm sorry to do this to you. Last night was a mistake. I got drunk and did not know how I got into your room. This will never happen again. I am sorry."
This time the note was not signed with the usual "Xu Wu, your only love" at the end. It was not signed at all but Yun knew whom it was from.
Tears started flowing down his cheeks as he continued holding the not with his two hands and stared at the words again and again as if that will caused the words to change to more favorable ones.
He came to his senses after some time. He realised that his beloved still intended to go through with his wedding.
His heart ache and his already weak body was aching all over. He had no strength to even get off the bed. He felt very sleepy and he went into slumber forgetting his aching heart.
Lately he has been quite lethargic. He feels tired easily even when he hadn't done anything much. He lost his appetite and find some foods that he used to enjoy before, now nauseating.
His mother asked him about it but he claimed he was fine. He himself had attributed his symptoms to be the effects of his aching heart.
There have been situations in the past where he had experienced similar symptoms before including vomiting even but he was diagnosed of stomach cancer being the cause by the physicians that his parents brought to check up on him.
Indeed the symptoms died down whenever he followed their instructions but he gets a relapse when he does not do so for sometime. So it was not that strange to his parents that he was experiencing the same symptoms again.
His mother on the other hand had noticed something else but chose to wait for the physician they had called to come and give his diagnosis before she confronted her son about it if it turned out to be so.
She prayed that she would be wrong otherwise she doesn't know what was going to happen to her only child. She does not even want to imagine it if she happened to be true.
It was daybreak when Yun Lui woke up. The events of the night played in his mind and his mood became gloomy again.
Come morning, he and his parents will be preparing to leave for the wedding and there was no way he could avoid attending.
Yet, he doesn't think he was strong enough to watch as his beloved is being wedded to someone else. That will be to much, even for him.
He got out of the bed and scribble down some notes and left them on his night stand. After, he disguised himself as a commoner, he gathered some essential stuffs and left the house through his window.It was either now or never.
He knew the commercial wagons that the villagers travel with usually leaves early in the morning so he has to leave now and fast if he wanted to make it out of this place today.
Luckily, he was the last person to fill the last seat. When he was asked where he wanted to go in order to know what fare to charge him, he told them to take him to the furthest place they intended to go.