The old woman was more than calm, willing to be very patient as I stared at the glass bottles of paint.
She had asked if I could tell the difference between the two colors, but it was obvious they were different. I didn't need help to tell the difference in their blue hues… but I did need to consider which would mix well with the other colors, to make that strange shade of dark purple I would need for the painting.
"Think you could teach me to paint, Renn?" Reatti asked from behind me. She was looking at the paintings hanging on the wall nearby.
"I could," I said, and decided to just get both of them. Better to have both than to get just one and have chosen the wrong one. Putting both into the little wicker box that the old shopkeeper wanted me to use as a basket, which was on the woman's counter, I went back to the wall to find the next color I needed.
"It'd be nice. Would paint my brother and then set it on fire," Reatti said with a happy sounding tone.
"That would be amusing," I said.
The old woman who had been watching me with a keen eye actually looked away, and seemed to calm down a little thanks to Reatti's words.
Maybe she thought only wealthy nobles could speak about such crazy things.
Picking up a dark gray color, I paused as to remember the painting in my head. Yes this color was needed too.
Putting the glass bottle of gray into the box, I went back to the wall of glass bottles.
They weren't that big. About the size of my curled up fist… but I wasn't too worried about the quantity. I didn't plan to paint it as largely as Amber had done. The canvas I had picked out, all three of them, were about half the size as the ones she had used.
Big enough to be detailed for Vim, but small enough to not have to take me weeks to paint or lots of resources.
Reatti hummed as she looked at a new painting. One that looked like it was morbid. I had only glanced at it, since it had been of what looked to be the remnants of a war. The painting had lots of dead bodies, and other nasty stuff in it.
"Is this about the Wright Massacre?" Reatti asked the old woman.
"Oh? You recognize it? You're very well read, young lady," The old shopkeeper sounded happy that Reatti had recognized it.
Glancing at Reatti, I noticed the look on her face.
Knew about it? Hardly.
She must have seen it.
"It was painted by my grandfather. He said it had taken nearly a year for the carnage to fade away," the old woman said.
"Hm," Reatti nodded, and I wondered if that meant she was as old as me… if not older.
She didn't act it all the time, but I was starting to realize that most of the older ones rarely did act their age.
That probably explained me… and Vim, in a way.
Picking up another few bottles, I decided it was enough for now. Putting them all into the box, I quickly went over the colors again… and the brushes and knives and…
"A palette, surely?" the old woman offered her insight.
"Ah. Yes. Please," I nodded.
She smiled and went to procure one.
Honestly I didn't absolutely need one. I usually painted each color at one time. But there was no harm in getting one just in case.
"Is that all then?" Reatti asked as she stepped up next to me.
I nodded. The colors… the brushes and other utensils… Some chalk and powdered charcoal… The three canvases…
Wonder how much it'd all be.
The old shopkeeper returned and placed a finely detailed palette into my box. It looked… too fancy, honestly. She must have picked the priciest one. Maybe I looked like a woman with more money than sense.
"Credit or…?" the woman asked as she pulled around the little note she had been scrawling on as I added items to my box.
"Coin," Reatti answered for me.
The old woman once again looked at us as if we didn't belong in her shop. "The total will be two hundred and ninety five silvers, young ladies," she said stiffly… as if expecting us to be shocked at the number.
It was hard for me to be surprised, since I had no idea if that was a lot or not.
"That's robbery… but if that's what you want, Renn," Reatti said with a shrug.
"Do I have enough?" I asked her.
"Oh. I'm sure," Reatti smiled softly which told me she was looking forward to proving this old woman wrong.
Digging out the gold coin I had gotten from Gerald, I held it out for the older woman.
"Oh my," she frowned at the sight of it as it fell into her open hand.
"Is that not enough?" I asked, a little worried. I knew I could pay with credit if I needed too, which was partly the reason Reatti was here… but I hadn't really wanted to.
"Oh plenty dear. I'll need to go get you change, one moment," she said as she stepped away and headed back into her office.
"Hm… not the reaction I was hoping for," Reatti mumbled.
"Too old maybe," I said just as quietly.
She nodded, agreeing with me.
A few moments later Reatti and I had been given our change, and unmarked leather bags to hold our items. The canvases weren't really small enough to fit them, so Reatti carried them for me.
"Shall I summon a carriage for you?" the old woman asked as we went to leave.
"We will be fine, thanks though! Have a great day!" Reatti said as we left.
"Come again," the older woman bid us farewell.
Leaving the shop, Reatti and I started to head back to the guild house.
"That coin was not the same one you got, was it?" Reatti asked.
"No. I kept that one as a souvenir. I asked for another from Gerald," I said.
"Ah… so you're the sentimental type. Good to know," she said.
"Am I?" I asked her and myself.
She nodded.
"How'd you notice it wasn't the same?" I asked.
"That was a newer minted one. The one he gave you as a tip was an older one. Different faces," she said.
Ah… they had been. It was surprising to hear Reatti was that observant. Although she had studied the one the King had given me, she hadn't done the same with the one I had just paid with. That coin had only been visible for a few moments.
As we rounded a corner, to head to the main road that led back to her home… I noticed the storm off in the distance. Far out at sea.
"Do you get a lot of storms here?" I asked Reatti.
"Oh yea. It's the sea, of course. That one does look… a little bad. But by the time it reaches here it'll be mostly rain," she said.
"I see." I wonder if this sea was… different than the one I had spent time on a long time ago. This was supposed a sea surrounded by land and not wide and open like the other. Maybe that changed things.
While we walked, I noticed the wagons making their way to the same destination as we were. "Does the company ever… not open? Or is it busy all the time?" I asked.
"Busy all the time. We only close for a few holidays, and only because the city and humans would throw a fuss if we didn't," she said.
"I take it you're not religious then?" I asked her.
"Not like my brother is," she said.
"Oh? Brom is?" that was interesting. Maybe I wouldn't hurt him too badly later then.
She nodded and sighed. "Ever since he got hurt, he's been… weird. But it's fine. At least it means when I kill him he'll get to see his god or whatever," she said.
Smiling at her strangeness, I nodded. "Right."
She was so different than the brother and sister I had known back then. Lujic and Ginny. The human children I had stayed with for so long.
They had been so sweet. So gentle with one another. Part of the reason I had stayed with them was because their sibling relationship had made me jealous.
My own experience with siblings was… like Brom and Reatti's, yet not.
They joked about their hatred for one another.
We hadn't.
"See that?" Reatti pointed at a building to our left. It was big, but not as big as the guild was.
I nodded.
"That's one of our competitors. They tried to make a depot there. They had to close it earlier this year. Idiots thought they could just stroll in and take over," she said with a smirk.
"Oh…?" Interesting.
"And over there is an old warehouse we used to use. There's a sinkhole beneath it. Some old well or something that broke, so now it's empty," Reatti pointed across the street to another large building.
Sinkhole…
As we walked, Reatti went to telling me about the local area. The businesses we owned, and the ones we wouldn't buy even if they begged us to do so. It was a little interesting to hear how… prideful she was, of the Society and its ventures.
While she told me of a road that had houses, where our workers lived, I noticed a pair of figures in an alley we were passing. They wore large cloaks, maybe because they feared the upcoming rain from the incoming storm.
"Ignore them. There're always beggars around here… even though Lumen's guards chase them away each night," Reatti said.
"Is that what they were?" I asked. They hadn't looked it.
"Probably," she shrugged. Seemed she didn't care much.
Reaching the depot, Reatti and I just walked right in. She ignored the people loading and unloading, and the stares we got of the merchants who watched us as we passed.
Entering the main building, we walked into a rather dark hallway. "And we're back. Well? Have fun?" Reatti asked as we headed down the hall.
I nodded. "Yes. Thank you Reatti. I appreciate it," I said.
"No big deal! Next time let's get something to eat before we come back," she said.
"Oh… I'm sorry; I should have got you lunch or something huh?" I realized I had been rude.
"Naw, we needed to bring this all back. You and I don't need to worry about being mugged or anything, but we can't let people know that," Reatti waved it off easily.
"I see… Still, I apologize. I had been absorbed in the task," I said. I had made a promise after all.
"It's all good, really. Remember that restaurant I told you about?"
I nodded. "The one with the weird tasting noodles," I said.
"Yeah. Just take me there… how about tomorrow?" she asked.
"Sure."
She giggled and stepped closer to me. Her shoulder brushed against mine, as if to give me a tiny hug. She guided me around a corner and to a stairwell, as she giggled happily.
"Should we invite your brother too?" I asked.
"Don't you dare!" she shouted as we reached the metal door of the Society.
I smiled as I nodded. I had expected that answer.
Reatti opened the door, and I noticed the way she seemed to struggle a little with the handle. She had to push down with a little bit of an oomph.
"Difficult with one hand," she commented as we entered.
Really…?
I closed the door behind her, and as she turned go head down the hall… I tried to open it again.
The handle was easy to manipulate.
Closing the door again, I made sure it was latched and went to follow her. She glanced at me with a smile, to see what I was doing. "Making sure it was closed," I said.
"Ah. Yea. It does sometimes feel like it doesn't, huh?"
I nodded.
As we headed for my room, I noticed the smell of food being cooked. It was later in the day… almost time for dinner…
"You're going to spar with my brother right?" Reatti asked as we reached my room.
"Yes. Want to watch me beat him?" I asked as I opened my bedroom door.
Reatti giggled, but shook her head. Oddly she stayed in the hallway as I went into the room to put the art supplies away.
"Sorry, but tonight's my night to help cook. Maybe another time," she said as she handed me the canvases.
"You could have came in Reatti… it's not like there's anything in here anyway," I said.
"Ah… Thank you, Renn… but this is just the way I am. Please don't be offended by it," she said gently.
Staring at her, as I held the canvases… I softly nodded. "Okay. I can respect that," I said.
"Thanks. And thank you, Renn, for letting me shop with you. I'm going to help cook… you uh… enjoy swinging swords with my brother. Gods that sounded weird. Don't ever let me say that again," Reatti made a weird face as she stepped away.
I laughed at her and waved her off. "Thanks again Reatti!"
Once I put the canvases away too, I hurried to grab my sword. I didn't attach it to my belt, and then headed for the rooftop.
I wasn't sure if he was there yet… but our promise had been to spar before dinner. He might even be tired of waiting for me, though Reatti and I had told him we'd go shopping first.
Honestly… as happy as I was, and excited, to paint that picture for Vim…
I was also excited to win the bath.
After all, it wasn't just a bath with Vim. It was more than that. It represented far… far more…
It'd mean he'd have to acknowledge me. Not just as a woman, but a possible partner. It'd mean he'd let me join him, and wouldn't tell me that I wasn't good enough again and…
Opening the door to the rooftop, I wasn't too surprised to find Brom waiting for me. He was sitting on one of the many benches, staring up at the oncoming storm clouds.
"I'm sorry Brom, were you waiting long?" I asked as I hurried over to him.
"Not at all. Did you get your painting supplies?" he asked.
"I did. Your sister helped me out," I said.
"You can be honest and tell me she's useless, you know," he said with a smirk.
"Honestly…" I shook my head at him. As I did, I remembered I had my hat on. Taking it off, I also let my tail out freely.
"So… I take it you've been sparring with Vim?" Brom asked as he slowly stood from the bench. As he did I noticed him lift his sword.
His wasn't in a sheath. And it was… a little thicker than the one Vim used, or my own. Yet it was the same silver steel as ours.
The biggest difference however, was it had dents in it. And looked… old.
And it was sharp.
"Yes. I have been. A few months now," I said.
"Good. So you know the process, at least," he said.
"I… think so?" I said.
"We stop before hurting one another. Don't actually stab me, please," he said.
"Oh right. Yes. I know," I nodded.
"Good. Also I'm told that if at any point you get what might be considered a killing blow on me, I'm to immediately castrate myself and jump off a cliff. So… well… let's not let that happen, okay?" Brom said.
I laughed at him and wondered if that had been Vim's words, or his sisters.
"Well shall we?" I asked as I drew my sword from the sheath.
He nodded. "May as well. It's going to rain soon," he said as he stepped away from the bench… and out into the open.
Following him, I took up a stance across from him. For a tiny moment… my heartbeat quickened… then it relaxed as I took a few breaths.
I can do this.
Brom stood still, holding his sword up with a single hand. His other hung a little lifelessly on his side, but I knew it wasn't because he couldn't use it. Unlike the side of his face, and neck, his arm was fine.
Maybe he didn't use both hands to swing his sword? Vim did that sometimes. Maybe he was trying to mimic him… or maybe all men did that?
"Ready?" he asked me.
I nodded. "Ready."
Time to do it. Time to get what I want.
The first real thing I've wanted in a long time. Not a home. Not a friend. Not a place…
But something special. Something for myself. For me.
Winning wouldn't actually give me Vim, of course… but it was the start. The beginning. A chance.
A chance to earn him, and his trust.
And all I needed to do… was swing this hunk of metal.
Blinking, I took one last breath… and then nodded.
Brom nodded back… and I charged.
His sister was weaker than me.
They weren't predators.
He wasn't large. He was about my height, and nearly as thin. He wasn't Vim.
I was stronger.
I reached him in the blink of an eye, and with a rush I swung my sword upward at an angle. Straight towards his face.
Brom blocked the swing, and I relished the sight of his sword flying upward.
He didn't have my strength! Just like his sister! He wasn't as strong as me!
I smiled, and stepped inward. To bring my sword back down. To strike outward, and up, to stop just right in front of his side and…
And…
And win…?
I blinked, staring at the dark cloudy sky in front of me.
"Huh?" I asked myself.
"Whew… you're strong. Seriously strong. That almost broke my sword," Brom's voice came from above me. Directly above.
Blinking, I tilted my head and found him standing above me. He was studying his sword… and I was staring at him from…
The ground…?
He had knocked me onto my back? When? How?
Rolling over, I shook my head and felt around. I was fine. My sword was still in my hand… yet I had been on the ground. Lying on my back, as if taking a nap.
"How…?" I slowly got up, wearily… not because I was hurt but just in case I was.
Looking up at the sky, I was thankful to at least see that the clouds looked the same. They were rolling along slowly, thanks to the wind, so it wasn't because they hadn't moved.
At least I hadn't passed out.
"Sorry about that. You okay? You startled me," Brom quickly apologized as I stood up and looked around.
"I think so," I said. Yes. I was fine. Nothing hurt, or even throbbed… yet…
"I flipped you. It's… a tactic we weaker folk need to rely on, when facing those as strong as you," he explained.
Flipped me…
"You used my momentum against me," I said, understanding it.
He nodded. "Fascinating. Yes. I did. You shot forward so fast, all I had to do was…" he shuffled his hands around in front of him, showing me how he had done it.
Fascinating? More like insulting.
I thought I had him. I had been that confident.
My confidence could have killed me, had this been real.
"Can we go again?" I asked, getting into stance.
"Sure."
"Are you alright?" I asked.
"You mean my sword? Yes. Now that I know how strong you are, it's fine," he said.
My eyes narrowed at his confidence… and I charged again.
This time I didn't put all my strength into the first blow, but instead went for his legs. Vim always blocked and handled it, but he didn't like it.
Maybe someone he trained had the same trait.
He didn't.
Brom easily blocked my first swing, and then an elbow thumped me in the side of the head.
I stepped back, wincing at the throbbing of my temple.
"Sorry! I uh… I'm sorry. You alright?" Brom quickly stepped forward, lowering his sword and extending his hand to me.
"Yes. I'm okay," I said. My right eye watered a little as I blinked the pain away.
"My bad Renn… you uh… you're fast. Sorry. It's been a long time since I've had to be so diligent," he apologized.
"It's okay. Again, please," I said as I got ready again.
He nodded and raised his sword.
At least… at least he kind of looked worried. Brom had an uncertain expression on his face. Which… which maybe…
This time Brom was the one who started the engagement. I accepted it, and blocked his first strike easily.
For a few, breathless moments, we exchanged blows. Our swords skidded along each other, making odd sounds in the process.
Those blows continued… and I started to feel my heart increase in speed. Not because of the physical effort, or worry over getting hurt…
But rather…
Brom dodged one of my swipes, then another. Then he ducked a stab.
And did so effortlessly.
A strange panic filled me as I increased my efforts. I swung harder. Faster. I started to take risks. I started to test my limits, in both skill and strength and…
Swinging the sword even faster, I felt my heart ache as I watched him effortlessly block and direct my attacks away from him. Parrying them away as effortlessly as Vim would have done.
Why!
Why…?
"Whoa," Brom sidestepped a hard thrust, and then I had a sword at my side. Brom held it there, point first into my ribs… and I closed my eyes and focused on breathing.
"You're actually very fast… but are you alright? You seem… unsettled," Brom said as he stepped away, pulling his sword away from what had been a killing blow.
"I'm… fine…" I lied.
Brom stepped back into position, and I glared at him. How? How was it possible that I couldn't even make him try?
Was I that bad? That weak? Surely not.
I was strong. Stronger than him. Stronger than his sister… And it wasn't as if I was completely unskilled. I had techniques. I had combinations. Taught to me by Vim himself… so… so why?
Why couldn't I win?
Brom ended up winning in even fewer moves this time. I glared at his sword that lingered a hair over my head, while mine hung pointlessly in the air nearly a foot away from him.
Why?
Getting back into position, I nodded at him… then charged in before he nodded back.
Even when I swung with all my strength. Even when I tried the techniques Vim had taught me. No matter how fast or how smoothly I swung the sword… no matter how well I blocked, dodged, or parried…
Why couldn't I win?
I lasted a few more exchanges this time… yet somehow ended up in the same position as last time. Me with my sword out, touching nothing, and his sword resting on top of my head. My ears could feel the weapon's cold metal.
"Dead," Brom said the word easily. Without a strain in his voice, even though I was heaving.
I growled as I hurriedly stepped back and nodded. I charged forward, and didn't even give him time to get into position.
The worst part wasn't that I couldn't win…
It was that Vim had obviously known.
Then yet… why had he promised a reward to Brom for not letting me win? If it had been this obvious to him?
Did he… did he despise the idea of being with me that much?
Was I going to let this opportunity just… pass me by? Forever?
He had finally said it! He had finally vocally said, and given me a chance… given me hope to…
Yet if he had known I'd have failed all along… then had he actually? Was I just… foolishly believing in the impossible?
"No!" I shouted as I swung my sword down onto Brom's. He frowned at me, blocking it as he spun his sword to deflect it.
Ducking his swipe, I saw an opening and rushed to take it.
I stepped in, sucking in air with a rush as I swung my sword with both hands. I put my all into the swing, twisting my whole body along itself, to keep the momentum and…!
Then my sword clanged as it hit the side of his, and then flung upward.
My sword left my hands as Brom hit it away. It flew into the air, and while I stared wordlessly at where my sword had been… and watched as Brom slowly placed the side of his sword onto my shoulder, I flinched when my sword landed behind me. It clattered loudly as it bounced on the stone.
"You have skill. Or rather… you will have it. You're just… unpolished? Or maybe unseasoned? Have you never been in a real fight before?" he asked me.
Brom was no longer scared of me. In fact, he was now looking at me as if he pitied me.
Lowering my hands, which had been lingering in the air where I had been holding my sword… I let them drop to my sides.
"Not like this," I said honestly.
"Hm… that's not a bad thing, really. In time you'll figure it out," Brom said with a nod. He sounded cheerful, but I could tell he was more so trying to cheer me up.
"I see," was all I said.
I had failed. And even if I picked up that sword… there was nothing I was going to be able to do to change that.
It had only been a few days since Vim had left… but it didn't matter. Even if I had months, there was no way I could beat this man. Not right now. Not the way I was.
Which meant…
Brom coughed, and I blinked. Had I started to cry? No… my eyes were still dry. Thank goodness.
"How about we stop here for now…? We can go at it again tomorrow. Is that okay?" he asked. He must obviously see my distraught emotions. It was probably all over my face.
"Sure. Thanks Brom," I said. I hated how hollow my voice sounded. Keep it together Renn… at least or a few more moments.
I turned and headed for my sword. It wasn't as far away as I had thought it was. It had only landed a few strides away.
"You really did do well, Renn. Especially for someone new at this. I can tell you've not been doing it long… yet you're good! I can see why Vim wants to train you!" Brom said as he went to put his own sword away.
"Thanks," I said… but didn't want to hear it.
Even if he sounded, and was, genuine in his compliments.
I didn't want to hear them.
Since I had just found out that I was not good enough.
Forget getting him to take a bath with me. Forget getting him to give me a chance at having a relationship.
I wasn't even good enough to stay with him. To become a protector. To help him.
I wasn't good enough.
Picking up my sword, I slowly made my way over to where I had left the sheath. I stiffly put it back in, and then glanced at Brom. He was staring at me with an odd expression… standing there quietly.
"Thanks again. Tomorrow, okay?" I asked.
He nodded.
I nodded.
Turning, I headed for the door… and was thankfully able to open it without issue.
Walking down the stairs, my vision became blurry… and I barely noticed it as I reached my bedroom.
Opening the door, I slowly shut it behind me… and fell to my knees.
Tossing my sword aside, I didn't even care that it slid out of its sheath as I barely got a breath into my lungs… and then I broke.
Covering my face with my hands… I wept.