No!
Sitting up quickly, I heaved a wordless cry… and realized it had all just been a dream.
Yet my heart still thumped. My body still ached, as if I had just ran for my life.
The blanket had slid off as I sat up, and the cool air felt a lot colder as it touched my sweat covered skin.
Breathing heavily, I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead. It was slimy, and felt hot.
Was I sick? Hurt? How long had it been since I had a nightmare like that?
After a few moments of calming myself, I realized I wasn't doing it very well. My heartbeat was still far too fast… my head was throbbing, and…
Had I woken Nory?
Looking to my left, as to look across the cabin… I froze at the sight of a balcony.
There was a large curtain covering it, but a brightly lit full moon was illuminating it strongly enough to see through it. I could see a bench… and an unfamiliar… wall? What was that beyond the balcony?
No… forget that, where was Nory and…
Looking around, I realized I wasn't in our cabin. I was in a strange room, which was far too big… far too clean… and…
Blinking wildly, I frowned as I remembered where I was.
In bed. In Telmik.
With…
The bed shifted, and I felt the man next to me roll over. In the dark I saw his eye reflect a little as he checked on me.
Shaking a little as my hot sweat quickly cooled off, and made me cold, I wordlessly apologized to the man I had just woken up.
Without a word back Vim reached over and put his hand on my back. His calloused hand firmly patted me, as if to reassure me.
"Sorry…" I whispered. Had I screamed? I didn't remember doing so, but that didn't mean I hadn't…
Gulping, I slowly laid back down. Although I had done so slowly, Vim still hadn't moved his arm in time. It ended up underneath my pillow, below my head.
He shifted, to both free his arm and to pull the blanket back over us. I felt horribly embarrassed as he put the blanket back over me, and with a small huff he rolled back over. Putting his back to me, Vim laid back down.
My heart slowed its quick pace, yet beat just as hard. This time at least it wasn't in fear.
Wiping my face, I held my hand up above me and stared at the glimmering on it. Sweat and tears.
With a small huff of my own, I let my arm fall. I squeezed the blanket a little as I tried to remember what my dream had been about.
I could still feel the urgency. The terror… it was clawing at me from inside… Yet I couldn't remember anymore what exactly had happened.
Had it been one about my family?
Nory?
The Sleepy Artist?
Shivering a little, I ignored the feeling of new tears as they slid down the side of my face.
Why? I'd been doing so well. Even in the beginning, when I had been staying at the Sleepy Artist… I hadn't had any nightmares there either.
I had thought I was finally over them.
Yet…
Glancing to my right, at Vim's back, I felt horrible. It had been a miracle he had even laid in bed with me, and I just had to go and do this.
He'd never sleep with me again.
Feeling horrible, I felt my tail twitch heavily under the thick blanket. Luckily the blanket was thick enough that it couldn't cause too much noise, or movement. It was also still in-between my legs, luckily, so I didn't need to worry over it bothering him.
I knew that Vim really didn't need much sleep… but…
Squeezing my eyes shut, I silently cursed myself. Come on Renn, keep it together.
It was going so well. I had been accepted by the Society. I had a place now. A purpose. There was so much to learn, so much to do…
I couldn't afford to break here. Not now.
He'd never accept me as his partner if I couldn't even sleep in peace. What kind of protector was scared of her own memories?
Memories…
Opening my eyes, I looked to the nearby balcony window. Now that I was a little calmer, I realized how pretty it was. The drape that covered it was a light blue color, and only emphasized the white luminosity of the moon. It made the whole room a calming azure blue in color.
While staring at it, I remembered I had thought I was in the cabin again. I had looked for Nory at her bed.
Did that mean my nightmare was about her?
Something told me it hadn't been. Which only made it worse to me, somehow.
"Some nights are long."
My ears perked up and I rolled my head over to look at his back.
He shifted a little, but remained facing away from me. "I have nightmares about listening to church sermons too, don't feel bad," Vim said.
Smiling at his weird attempt at making me feel better, I wished he hadn't rolled over. I bet he had one of his funny looking smirks right now.
"I don't remember my dream," I told him.
He was quiet for a moment, and then shrugged. "For the best, isn't it?"
"No. I like to remember what hurts me," I said.
"Hm… very predator of you."
The room got darker. A quick glance to a nearby window showed that dark clouds had gone in front of the moon. Although my eyes adjusted quickly, and I still saw just as well… for some reason I suddenly worried over the dark.
Looking back at Vim, since it was reassuring to see him so close, I wondered what time it was.
I couldn't hear or smell the fireplace. It had probably died out, which meant it was late. Yet the moon was still so high and bright…
"Do you really have nightmares too?" I asked him.
"I do."
"Really…?" I whispered my question.
"Every time I sleep," he said gently.
Gulping at his answer, I wondered what to say to that.
Vim didn't lie. And he had been so genuine in that statement that…
"Is that why you don't sleep often?" I asked.
"No. I just don't need as much sleep as you or the others," he said.
"Oh…" that made more sense. Something told me even if he had a horrible nightmare, he'd not even flinch at it. He probably wasn't even bothered by them.
"Did I wake you?" I asked, worried.
"No."
"You sure?" I asked.
"Yes. You uh…" He sighed, "You were tossing and turning for awhile now."
"I'm sorry," I said.
He shrugged.
A window shutter downstairs made noise as the wind picked up. I focused on it, since it sounded a little odd.
If I had been alone I would have worried someone was trying to get in. Yet since Vim continued to lie still, I knew it was nothing.
Smiling at him, I reached out and put my hand on his back.
He had worn a shirt to bed. It was loose on him, and… warm.
Vim didn't say anything as I touched him, and relished in his warmth. He was a little hotter than I would have expected.
I could feel his coiled muscles beneath the loose shirt. Unlike me, who was still a little wet thanks to my sweat, his shirt didn't stick to his skin.
Granted the shirt I wore was a little different. The satin clung to me, thanks to my sweat.
"Is a storm coming?" I asked him.
"Yes, it will be here tomorrow," he said.
As he spoke, I felt his voice reverberate through him. It felt odd, but made me smile.
"Sorry for waking you Vim," I apologized.
"You didn't. All's well, go back to sleep," he said.
I nodded, and kept my hand on his back.
The house became a little noisy as the wind increased in strength. Window shutters creaked. There was a light whistle from down the hall, maybe there was a hole or crevice the wind got in from. I could hear the rustling of the trees and bushes from outside.
Yet through all that noise, Vim remained steadily silent. I couldn't even hear him breathe, even though I knew he was doing so. I could feel his deep breaths through back.
This back was a constant, wasn't it?
Firm. Unyielding. It most likely had never, and would never, break. He'd never slouch. Never run.
The perfect back of a protector.
Running my hand along it for a moment, I wondered what it'd take to become like him. Did I need to train? Experience horrible hardship?
Was it even possible?
I hoped it was.
But even if it wasn't…
All I needed to do was find a way to support it.
If I couldn't become as strong or firm, I needed only to become something that such a back could lean on.
But… what kind of person fit such a task?
The room became colder so I scooted a little closer to him. He was warm after all.
Keeping my hand on his back, I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of the world around me.
It was hectic. Noisy. Distracting… and far inside, deep in my heart, I still heard the cries and screams from my nightmare. I still felt the tension, and the fear.
Yet Vim's warmth kept it all at bay. His solid frame allowed me to not spare a moment of thought to worry about any of it, and instead enjoy it.
Falling back to sleep, I faced my nightmare this time with a friend.
A protector, in more ways than one.