The sky was passing slowly. The clouds were… stagnant. As if there was no wind at all. The sight above me was so lackluster and calm; it almost put me back to sleep.
I yawned as I finished waking up.
Lying on my back, I rocked alongside the cart. The road was a paved one, luckily, so it was actually… kind of comfortable to ride in the back.
To my left, and behind me, were large barrels. Barrels nearly as tall as me, and several times wider.
There were twenty nine of them on the cart. And they were all full to the brim.
Some apples rolled around near me. One bumped up against my head occasionally. None had fallen from the barrels in the last few hours, but when Vim and I had first gotten back here and sat on the cart they had fallen often.
A few had even landed on my head, in the beginning.
With groggy eyes I glanced around for my hat. It had fallen off in my sleep.
Finding it under an apple, I went to putting it on my head.
To my right, sitting up instead of lying down, was Vim.
Looked like I had spent most the day sleeping while curled up next to him, based on the sun's location.
He sat close enough to me that we were touching. Not a surprise since there wasn't much room in the cart. Enough that if he lay down too, we'd be fine… but there would be no room for anything or anyone else.
I was a little thankful for his closeness. It didn't just keep me a little warmer in the chilly air, but it also allowed me to not have to worry about not being able to fall asleep. If I had been alone, or if he had been walking next to the cart or elsewhere… I'd not have been comfortable enough to do such a thing. Especially since another cart was following the one we rode. Even from a distance I could make out the red apples it carried.
It wasn't directly behind us, but it was close enough that the two drivers who rode in the front of the cart could see us.
Which meant if I wasn't careful, and my ears or tail were revealed… I'd be in trouble.
He being next to me while I slept made it safe for me to sleep. Since he'd keep an eye out for me, and make sure I didn't accidentally reveal myself.
He made a good guard dog.
One of the horses pulling the cart snorted, as if finding my thoughts ridiculous.
Turning a little, I rolled over so I could stare at Vim. He sat near the edge of the cart, with one leg hanging off the end. The other was curled up underneath the other, giving him a somewhat childish sitting posture.
"Hey Vim."
He turned his head, and his eyes studied me for a moment. "Was wondering why you stopped snoring so loudly," he said.
I smiled, and wondered if I really did snore that bad. From what I've been told, I didn't… but I had been exhausted.
The last few days had been hectic, to say the least.
"What's one of these barrels worth?" I asked him.
"The apples…?" Vim frowned and glanced at the one next to me. Even though he sat up against one himself.
"Probably three penk or so," he said after thought.
"Really? So much?" I asked.
"These are river apples. They're one of the few fruits able to be harvested in winter here in this region. They're sweet so the southern folks like them a lot. They are also big, which makes them stand out on the stalls," he explained.
Looking behind him, to some of the apples that rolled around near him… I wondered if I could eat one or not.
"Go ahead. They'll not notice one or two missing," he said.
I smirked and wondered if I had looked hungry.
While I was sitting up slowly, Vim grabbed a nearby apple. He glanced it over, most likely looking for bruising, then went ahead and handed it to me.
Taking it from him, I held the large apple in my hand and tried to judge its weight.
It was rather heavy.
"They won't care?" I asked.
The drivers of the cart couldn't hear us talking, we had already proven that. The two were complaining about the upcoming toll on the road we were approaching. It seemed between the distance, the four horses pulling the cart, and the large barrels they just couldn't really hear most of what we said.
"Even if they did I'd just pay for them. Look, they lose them anyway thanks to the road," Vim said as he pointed behind us.
Following his eye, I saw the two red orbs on the side of the road. Obviously apples… though I hadn't heard them fall from our cart.
That meant they had fallen from one of the carts in front of us.
"Hm… You first," I said, offering him the first bite.
"Why?" he asked with a frown.
"So I can blame you if I get yelled at," I said with a smile.
He stared at me for a moment, and then nodded. Without taking the apple from me, he bent over and took a bite.
Holding it steady for him, I watched in amusement as he… literally ate out of the palm of my hand.
Finding the sight somehow precious, I smiled and watched as he slowly ate and swallowed the bite.
Once done he nodded. "Tastes fine," he said.
"Hm…" I believed him, but I had kind of hoped he would have been a little more…
What? Embarrassed? Happy? Pleased with the taste?
A little upset at myself for thinking he'd actually find the act of eating out of my hand anything but normal made my own bite seem less important.
Eating the apple slowly, I realized it was a little sweet. It wasn't amazing, but wasn't bad either.
A good apple, but not so tasty I'd spend a fortune on it.
"Well?" he asked.
"It's okay," I said honestly.
He smiled softly and nodded, as if he had expected my answer.
With a sigh, I scooted a little closer to him. Not close to the edge of the cart, as he did, but nearer him. So that I could talk with him a little deeper, and not risk being heard.
Vim didn't seem bothered by my action, and in fact seemed to know what I had wanted. He calmly stared at me, waiting for my next question.
It made me feel young, honestly, to be treated like this… but…
What else was I to do? I had questions. Worries. Concerns. And I didn't want to wait until we reached our next destination to ask them.
"Where are we going now?" I asked him, keeping my voice low as I continued to eat the apple.
"The coast. We'll head east until the port town of Nevi. There's a member of ours there, we'll check on her and then head south along the coast."
"Nevi?" I asked. He had actually mentioned that before. In that knight's stronghold.
He nodded. "A large port town. It's where these apples are heading. We'll be able to stick with this caravan nearly all the way," he said.
"Huh…" I hadn't heard them mention that. But… I had been tired. Vim and I had walked nearly a whole day after leaving Ruvindale, to a strange little village full of trees. It was there that Vim had paid for a ride in this cart.
"We're a little off my normal route. I need to get back on proper schedule. We'll head to Nevi, then to the inlet. From there we'll make a few stops until we eventually reach the Cathedral. From there I'll return to my normal route," Vim explained.
"The Cathedral. You've mentioned that before," I said.
He nodded, and glanced at the apple I was still eating. There wasn't much left.
Did he want another bite?
"It's in the capital of the holy nation to our south. We hide in plain sight there. Capital City Telmik. A massive city that houses hundreds of thousands of people," he explained.
"Hundreds…" I tried to imagine it. "Really?" I asked.
He nodded. "There are only a few places with more people than there. Five others, that I know of," he said.
Hundreds of thousands… that was…
It was impossible to imagine. Ruvindale was one of the largest cities I had ever seen. And that had only… "How many people were in Ruvindale?" I asked.
"Probably fifteen thousand or so," he said.
My mind went a little numb upon realizing that the world was far bigger than I had imagined.
"Along the way maybe we can find you a home," he said.
My mind stopped trying to comprehend the vastness of the world, and I instead focused on the single man before me.
He nodded with a frown.
My jaw clenched, and I tapped the apple in my hands absentmindedly.
"We'll find you one, I promise," he said.
I sighed, since obviously he didn't understand.
But it wasn't his fault.
After all, I hadn't said anything yet.
Taking a bite out of my apple, I looked away from him. His calm face was now painted with worry. He thought something had bothered me.
Knowing him, he was thinking that I didn't believe myself worth finding a home. That I blamed myself for everything that happened in Ruvindale.
Honestly, it wasn't that far off from the truth…
I did blame myself.
But that didn't mean I wasn't worthy of finding a home, or being able to earn my place.
Rather… it was because I blamed myself that I felt the need to balance the scales.
I had arrived, and then a peaceful home that had existed for years went up in flames.
Because of that I needed to help, save, or at least protect another home.
And to do that I needed to stay with him.
The problem with that, obviously, was he undoubtedly didn't want me with him. And…
Taking the last bite of the apple, I glanced at the man who no longer stared at me. He was now looking ahead, or rather behind us, at the carts following us. I counted three of them in the distance.
He didn't need my help.
That much was obvious.
Tossing the apple off the cart, I made sure to throw it a little off to the side. Into the grass, on the side of the road… so hopefully, the cart following us would not notice I had eaten it.
"Feel better?" he asked.
"No," I said honestly. But not because of anything to do with food and hunger.
"Hm… I'm sure we'll stop soon. There should be a small village up ahead. It acts as a tax buffer, taking tolls from the roads and rivers around here," Vim said.
"I heard them talking about it earlier," I nodded.
"The wagoners? Yes."
"Is that what they're called?" I asked, a little surprised.
Vim frowned and nodded. "They're like coachmen… but for wagons," he said.
"What's a cart then?" I asked.
"Well… I guess you could call these carts too. I do sometimes, as well. But carts usually only have two wheels," he said.
Ah. These had four. They were huge too; I could make out the top of them over the barrels we sat next to.
"Wagons…" I said. I had indeed heard such a term before. I hadn't known they were actually their own separate things…
"What's a coach then?" I asked.
"One that people ride in, more specifically," he explained.
"Huh… Why didn't we get one of those then?" I asked. That was probably what I had rode in when I had been banished from the Sleepy Artist. I had ridden it for two days until I reached the Owl's Nest forest.
"There weren't any. And those are always full. I prefer it like this," he said.
Full… yes… they had been. More and more people had hopped into that carriage as we traveled… "Wait. What's a carriage then?" I asked.
"They're the same basically," he said.
I sighed and shook my head. Humans.
Vim smiled, seemingly amused at my annoyances.
"What's it like Vim?" I asked him.
"Hm?" he tiled his head… already far used to my questions.
"Understanding humans so well," I asked.
"Who says I do?" he asked me.
Curling my legs upward, I wrapped my arms around them. For some reason I felt a little cold. "Is it because you need to? To protect us?" I asked him, ignoring his sad attempt to not answer me.
"That is part of it," he said honestly.
"You… Sometimes look really human to me," I said to him.
He blinked, and my ears twitched at his expression.
Was that shock? It had only been visible for a moment but…
"Do I?" he asked.
"I mean… beyond your appearance. Sometimes when you talk, I don't hear one of our kind… I hear one of them," I said gently.
"Thanks," he said with a huff.
"I didn't mean that as an insult," I said quickly.
"Nor a compliment, I'm sure," he said with a smirk.
"Well… No. But I meant it honestly. You speak like them. Think like them sometimes too and…" I stopped talking, but only so I could watch a small rabbit run across the road behind us.
Vim glanced away from me, to watch the creature as well.
"Still hungry?" he asked.
Frowning, I hoped that wasn't what he had seen on my face when I had seen the creature.
"No," I lied.
He chuckled, and I knew he had heard my honest lie.
Sighing, I tapped my feet. The wood this cart, I mean wagon, was smooth. It wasn't that comfortable honestly.
"I guess it's a silly question. I… honestly don't know many of our kind, I guess," I said, returning to the topic.
"It's not a silly question. If you'd like to know, most of our kind doesn't see me as human at all," he said.
"Really? How's that possible?" I asked. He looked like any other normal man. He was… broad shouldered, and well-built, but nothing else about him stood out. He was average height. Average in looks. He even looked… old yet young. He looked as if he was almost past his prime, yet at the same time just entering it. It gave him an odd yet simple look.
"Am I really human in your eyes? You've seen me kill haven't you?" he asked me.
"Yes but… I've seen other humans kill. I've seen my brothers kill, and my mother. I've killed people too," I said.
"Hm… maybe I've not been as brutal as I normally am. Am I getting lazy?" he asked himself.
"Don't boast," I complained. Men who said stuff like that were usually not worth talking to.
"It helps when those who know me have known me for as long as they have. Most have known me their whole lives. And of course, they've all heard the stories. The legends. Most have seen those very stories play out right in front of them too, which helps," he said.
"Legends?" I asked.
Vim waved me off lightly. "Ask someone else. I'm not in the mood to get into that stuff."
"What… why not?" I asked, a little annoyed with him. Usually he was so honest and upfront about stuff.
"You just chastised me for boasting, and now you want me to tell you the stories and legends they all tell about me? You can't be serious," he said with an odd look.
Oh…
"Well…" A little embarrassed, I realized he was right.
He chuckled and patted my knee. It was an odd gesture, and made me even more conscious about how close we were to one another. "Just ask someone else. To be honest Renn, the reason you see me as so human… honestly, is your own fault," he said.
"My own fault?" I asked, wondering what he meant. I rubbed the knee had just patted. It was a little warm now.
"You're so human yourself you see me as one. Most of our kind doesn't see me as human at all. I mean that. You probably spent a long time with humans, didn't you?" he asked me.
For a long moment I tried to understand his words… and then I realized what he was trying to say.
"You're saying since I'm so human, I see you as one. If I was more inhuman, I'd easily be able to tell you weren't one?" I asked him.
"Basically. I know that's an odd concept but…" he shrugged.
"No. I do see what you're saying. That would explain why Lomi and the rest never really…" I went quiet, as I thought back to some of the conversations I had with everyone.
Crane. Lughes. Amber… Lomi… Porka and Lilly too.
They had all mentioned similar things as he was. A few had mentioned how kind and gentle I seemed.
Maybe instead of saying that because they were comparing me to a standard predator… they were instead comparing me to our kind in general.
I wasn't kind for a predator.
I was kind for a non-human individual.
A little bothered by this revelation, I tried to think of all the humans I had spent time with.
Nory. Lujic and his sister Ginny. That old witch, the first human I had known…
Yes. It's very likely I had become who I was today because of them.
"You're rather cute when lost in thought," Vim then said.
My ears went up straight enough to knock off my hat. It fell on my lap as I stared at the man who had a large smirk. "Huh!"
He chuckled and nodded. "What were you thinking about?" he asked.
"Uh… um…" What had I been thinking of?
Gulping, I tried to remember… yes… how human I was.
"I uh… was thinking of the humans I had spent time with. You're right. I've spent more time with humans than I have not. After… my family… I pretty much only spent time with humans. I only met a few of our kind, and two of them had tried to kill me," I said.
Vim frowned, losing his happy smirk. "I see," he said.
"But…" I started to say, but wasn't entirely sure what to add to my question. Or my whole point in the first place.
Vim reached over and grabbed my hat. I let him put it back on my head, and moved my ears accordingly as he did.
"But? But what? You want to be more human or something? Are you asking for guidance in being more human-like? You're rather human, Renn, even if you don't want to admit it," he said.
A little disturbed he believed so, I knew better than to argue. He was right. Even Nory, who had so often told me how strange I was… had always said I was more human than not.
"I meant… I more so meant…" I pointed at the cart behind us. "If you were sitting there. Holding those reigns… I'd not realize you were one of us. I'd see just another man. Just another human, one of countless," I said.
"Thanks," he said with a huff.
"Stop! I'll start thinking you actually are hurt by my words and it'll make me conscious," I complained as he smiled at me.
"Sorry. Yes. I know what you're saying. Maybe in time you'll see differently. I'm not the only one of our kind to look as human as I do, you know. You're not far from it yourself. A simple tug on the tail, some swipes of a sharp knife near the noggin and…" Vim shrugged.
It was my turn to huff and glare at him. "I get your point, you don't need to specify how you'd do it," I said. Especially since I could actually see him doing it. He was strong enough to pop my tail off with a tug, and maybe even cruel enough to chop my ears off too.
He'd do it if it was meant to help me survive. To protect me.
While thinking of that, I shifted a little. "Have you done that?" I asked him, before he could say anything else.
"Done what?" he asked.
"Removed… our traits. For someone. For yourself?" I asked, wondering if that was why he had none.
"Ah. Yes. Not for myself, no, but I have for others. A horn. Some tails. A few wings," he said, speaking softer than before.
Wings…
Thinking of Lilly, and her missing wings… I really hoped she wasn't the one he spoke of. It was hard to believe, since so much of her still wouldn't fit in even if she had. Plus her personality had been…
"If you tell me to chop any of your parts off, I'll become very upset," Vim then said.
Blinking, I looked into his eyes.
They were rather serious.
"I wasn't thinking that," I said honestly.
"Good. I'd cry you know. I find your tail and ears to be very beautiful. Be proud of them," he said.
My eyes watered at his words… especially since he had said them so sincerely. So purely.
He nodded and looked away from me, deciding the conversation was done.
Unable to argue, I hugged my knees closer to my chest. The sun was starting to set… and it was getting cold… but now I didn't do so to keep warm. I wasn't cold anymore after all.
Instead I did my best to hide my smile behind my knees, just in case he turned and looked back at me again.
I didn't mind showing our protector my smile… especially since he usually earned it when it was there. But…
Happily staring at the side of his face, as he watched the wagons in the distance… I was glad to have learned a very inhuman part of him.
After all no human would have said such a thing. And that was something I could say with confidence. Especially since after all these years, none ever had.
The wagon continued rolling on, rocking a little as it did. Yet even as it rocked, it couldn't ruin the smile on my face.
Something told me nothing could… especially since he'd protect it.
He was our protector after all.