The morning sunlight had begun to peer into the room.
I sat alone, and felt a little cold. Even though there was a still burning fire nearby.
Dust lingered in the morning rays which peered through heavy curtains, and I quietly focused on the voices that filtered through the wooden walls.
The bench I sat on was no longer cold. Yet at the same time, it was uncomfortable. I hated it.
I hated this building. I hated the smell of it.
I hated everything that had happened, and that was happening.
"Another. Why won't the church do anything?" a woman asked. This voice was a new one. She had entered the building only a few moments ago. At first I had thought she had been hurt, based on how quickly she had ran into the building, but I now knew that was only because she had been late for work.
"Why do you think? Because they're nobles," a deeper voice said. If not for the very audible disgust in his voice, I'd find myself hating the man.
It wasn't his fault.
He had done what he could.
My eyes were no longer leaking, but I knew that was because I had simply run out of tears.
They hadn't officially come out to tell me yet that she had been lost, but…
"What of the girl? In the waiting lobby?" the new voice asked. The older woman who still sounded a little tired, who had just got here.
"She's unharmed. She's a friend… she found her outside, collapsed," the doctor said.
I took a deep breath and did my best to hold it in for a moment. Lest I screamed.
"For now," the woman scoffed, and then I heard them leave the room on the other side of the wall. Heading deeper down the hallway…
The two kept talking, but I began to ignore them.
There was nothing more I needed to hear.
Nothing more I needed to know.
Amber was dead.
My fists popped and creaked loudly in the silent morning as I squeezed my jacket. My eyes surprisingly went blurry again, as if I hadn't just cried for hours.
"Amber…" I softly whispered her name, and felt horrible.
I should have brought her here faster. I could have… I should have helped her quicker and…
A door creaked open, and I looked up to watch a young boy enter. He had cut wood in his arms, and he completely ignored me as he hurried over to a large box. Near the fireplace.
The logs clunked as he quickly began putting them into the box. Restocking it.
Without a word the young boy hurried out, to grab another armful.
"The world continues on," I whispered, realizing that once again I had lost someone precious.
You'd think I'd be used to it by now.
Yet… this was too early.
Even for a human.
I had only known her for a few months. I barely knew anything about her! I still didn't even know her mother's name, or what nation she had come from. I didn't know if she had believed in any kind of god, or…
"Stop," I whispered, stopping myself from growling in anger.
"Huh?"
I looked back up and realized I had spoken loudly. The young boy who was still carrying wood had paused, looking at me with worry. As if he had done something wrong.
"Sorry. You're fine," I said quickly.
He frowned, but went back to working. This time a lot more conscious of himself. He put the logs down into the box with much more care, doing his best to do it as quietly as possible.
"Sorry," I said again, much quieter this time. The boy hadn't heard me as he hurried out, closing the door behind him.
Leaving me once again alone in this large room. Joined only by the silent rays of morning light.
I sighed at myself, and knew I was going to have to do something.
Did… did I bury her? Would they let me take her? Should I take her body back to the Sleepy Artist? Or was that door now barred for me and her forever? Would they not help me bury her?
And beyond that, what did I do after?
The doctor, and those who helped him, had all made it very clear.
The noble had done this.
The one she had worked for. The one who had hired her to paint the young daughter of the family.
Not only had the doctors recognized the wounds on her, she wasn't the first to have endured them. There had been other young women who had suffered from their disgusting violence. One had been brought here only a month ago.
When I had first heard such things, I had not believed them. I had thought I had misheard. After all, was I not hearing through many walls? Weren't their voices hard to make out and sometimes not audible at all?
Yet that wasn't the case.
The Primdoll family was one of debauchery. One that even the common folk knew about.
So then… why didn't anyone do anything about it? Why did none of the humans get revenge? Why were their evil deeds not punished?
Why hadn't Crane known? Lughes I would understand, being so air-headed, but Crane intentionally kept friends amongst the humans. To talk of rumors, and secrets.
Why hadn't she realized it? Why hadn't anyone noticed?
What of the Lord who ruled this city? Or the church who was rebuilding it?
Was that not their job? To protect their flock? As that one lady had mentioned?
"If not them, then…" I whispered, and realized I was tearing my jacket. I was squeezing the edges too tightly.
Stretching my fingers out, I noticed how white they were. And not because it was cold. I had been gripping my fists tightly for too long.
Why hadn't Vim, the protector, done anything? Why did this happen after he left?
"I have to do something."
Could I just… get revenge? Could I kill them?
I was no great warrior, but I was stronger than most humans. During my youth I had mistakenly hurt a few, simply because I hadn't realized how weak they were sometimes.
Killing them was possible. Not just physically, but emotionally. I was angry enough. Furious enough.
No amount of snow could extinguish this burning anger and hatred in my heart.
Yet… if I did that… what would happen?
Would Lughes and the rest suffer, as they said they would?
Would my killing, or at least the act of trying, only get them in turn killed too?
What of the young daughter of the family? Would I kill her too?
What was I supposed to do…?
"Renn?"
Looking up, I sniffed at the sight of the large man.
He was older, yet muscular. He wore a tight jacket which hugged his burly arms closely. It gave him a funny look.
"Yes?" I asked the doctor.
"May I sit with you?" he asked, gesturing to the open space on the bench next to me.
I nodded. I knew what he was going to say already, but I still needed to hear it.
The burly man sat quickly, yet gently. He seemed used to this. The look on his face told me he was genuinely upset at what he was about to do, what he was about to say.
"I'm sorry, Renn, but your friend… her wounds were severe. We did everything we could, but she fell asleep and passed away. She's gone," the man said.
Even though I had known what his news was going to be, even though I had already known for hours… I still found new tears falling from my eyes.
"I see," I said softly.
"I'm so sorry. She fought hard, she really did," he nodded, as if to confirm it. "But the wounds were… very bad."
I nodded, unsure of what to say to that.
"If you'd like, we're willing to handle her body. We'll bury her with the rest, at the cemetery behind the abbey," the man said.
"I…" I hesitated, since I wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do.
"It's free. It will cost you nothing more for us to do this," he said quickly.
He had misunderstood my worry.
"Alright… Yes… Please do that for me," I said.
He nodded, glad I had accepted.
"What… what do I do now?" I asked him.
"Go home. Sleep. Did she have any other family? I know you said she did, but they weren't here and…" the doctor hesitated, and I knew it was because of what he had seen on my face.
Disgust at the idea of family.
"Yes. She did. They're not here… I'll… I'll let them know," I said, unsure of how else to say it. How else to accept it.
Her family had abandoned her.
Even if they had been right… for them to have…
"I see. Alright. You… you already paid, Renn, but there will be another fee. One you can pay later," he said gently.
"Fee?" I asked, unsure of what he meant.
I had laid all the coins I had down the moment I arrived. A young woman had taken them all from me, without a word, while he and the rest had treated Amber.
"The church provides for our service. They pay our salary, and for all the items we use. Bandages, bedding, the burial… but there is a tax for the dead," he said.
"Tax…?" I asked, and felt a little angry.
A tax? To die? Why?
"A silver coin, a penk," he whispered lightly. As if suddenly scared of me.
Which was ridiculous. He was huge. Even though older. A human of his size shouldn't be scared of me. Not without first seeing my ears and tail.
"A coin. For dying," I said, repeating him.
He nodded slowly.
"I gave you coins," I said.
"I know. Here," he then dug into his pocket. The sound of metal clinging and clanking told me they were coins.
Holding his hand out towards me, I hesitated. What was going on?
"Your coins. She took them, since you were in a panic… but as I said, the church covers the cost for our services," he said.
Slowly reaching out, I allowed the man to place the coins into my hands.
Sure enough, it looked like each and every coin I had given to the young girl earlier.
Staring at them, I felt sick.
I didn't want these.
"I'm sorry. Come back later, to pay the tax… unless her family wishes to pay it. For now though, please go home Renn," the man said gently. The look in his eyes told me he was being very serious.
He wasn't telling me to go home just because I looked tired. Or just because he didn't want me here anymore.
"What should I do?" I asked him softly.
The large man blinked, and then glanced around. We were alone, like before, but he hesitated as if we weren't.
"They killed her," I whispered.
He flinched, and then nodded.
Squeezing the coins in my hands, a few slipped between my fingers. They bounced onto my lap. A few rolled down, to the bench and then to the stone floor.
We both ignored them as I glared at the doctor who hadn't been able to save Amber.
"They killed her," I said again.
"They did. Please. Go home. Don't let them kill you too," he then said. A little harsher.
The harsh voice was a surprise to hear, but I didn't feel threatened or hurt by it. Especially since his eyes were just as watery as mine.
"Please. You're young. Too young to be involved with those nobles. Go home. Forget about everything. Don't involve yourself with them anymore," he said.
For a long moment he held my gaze… then he nodded and stood.
Glaring at the burly man, I watched him retreat back into the building. Leaving me alone.
He had said his peace. He had told me what had happened. He had returned my coins.
He had done all he could.
Yet it hadn't been enough.
An odd sound filled the room, and I glanced down at the cause.
Opening my hands, I found a mangled mess.
The coins were now curled. Bent. Broken. Some were even stuck to one another now.
"Worthless," I spat, and let the coins fall.
The clumps of worthless metal fell as I stood.
Feeling as useless as the bits of metal I left behind, I opened the door and headed out into the world.
Leaving Amber's body behind, I headed back towards the Sleepy Artist.
I didn't know where else to go.