How could I be okay when Lupe spoke for me?
When she told Kylo that it was okay to come over even when it was evident that I didn't want him to?
"Why are you even asking?" she'd said, effectively stripping away any control I had over the situation.
I didn't ask her to do that. That was…
"Lupe," I finally managed with a stern tone, "you shouldn't have just told him it was okay to come."
"Look," she said, a line appearing between her brows, "if you told him not to come, it would be suspicious. We're all hurting, and Kylo obviously cares about you. This way, it seems normal."
Normal.
The word felt like a foreign language in my mouth. Everything about this situation felt abnormal. It felt like a ball of mess of emotions and secrets threatening to work their heads out at any moment.
"I'm just not ready to face him yet," I confessed, picking at a loose thread on my sofa.
