"WHO DARES WAKE ME UP? I was having the greatest dream imaginable, and you dare wake me up from living in my delusions? You're truly courting death! When I find out who you're, I won't even leave your corpse intact."
[...]
[I am your system, Daniel Crump. You've recently been transmigrated. Please take a look at your surroundings; you're currently inside a cage with other captives who are going to be sold into slavery. I highly advise the system user to complete the task I've given you to gain the power to escape. Also, please refrain from speaking out loud, as you can communicate with me mentally.]
[Your task: Jerk off to Michael Helden]
Daniel Crump looked around and observed the dirty cage he was trapped in, and he saw a bunch of captives along with Michael Helden. Not believing in the weird, strange voice that suddenly resounded in his head, he yelled at the other captives.
"What the hell are you guys on about? What the hell is a system? Is this some kind of prank show? I did not come here willingly! Which one of you is making fun of me right now?"
The captives looked at Daniel Crump with pity in their eyes as they all started to simultaneously agree that he had lost his mind from the horrid conditions.
[Perhaps you'll believe me if I display this in front of you instead.]
All of a sudden, a slimy, translucent screen appeared in front of Daniel Crump!
[System name: Jerk Off
User Name: Daniel Crump
Rank: Edger (0/1).
Cultivation level: 7th stage of Qi condensation
Length: 1.8 inches
Task 1: Jerk off to Michael Helden
Main character ID: #293918283922
Notes: A system is a tool given to transmigrators to assist them in their new lives. Sadly, I was the one unlucky enough to be designated as an operator for this one.]
Daniel Crump stared, astonished, at the white screen that appeared in front of him, trying to grasp what was happening. Suddenly, a flood of memories came back to him.
"Ah yes, I died because of that moronic giga cuck, Michael Helden, ramming me right in the path of a truck, and then I apparently met some crappy God."
"So this is the universe's way of compensating for the injustice I suffered, huh?"
[...]
[Yeah sure. Just do the task I've assigned you so I can finally get paid.]
Daniel Crump looked at the slimy, translucent screen and then looked at the still-sleeping Michael Helden. "I'm not gay."
[I'll give you a female companion if you do it.]
Daniel Crump looked at the unconscious Michael Helden and slowly started removing his ragged clothes. "Don't blame me, pal; you did this to yourself trying to defend your loser girlfriend. She wasn't even a 10 as well."