I woke up in my room with the jazzy music on my vinyl playing, It's Frank Sinatra's 'In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning'
I squint my eyes, It's a reaction because my head was aching so bad. I got up from the bed, rang my bell to call my maid. After a few moment later she knocked on my door, I didn't let her in, instead I say, "Mary?" I called out. "Yes, Mrs. Huber, It is me. What is it you might need? May I come in?" I sighed and says "No, Don't bother coming in, I am quite fine. Can you please bring me a light meal and my medicine, Mary?" I asked of her and she responds with "Of course, madame." I sat on the left side of my bed "That is lovely, Thank you. Walk slowly on the stairs, Mary." I said and closed my eyes. The vinyl is still playing and so I sang along with it.
"In the wee small hours of the morning, while the whole wide world is fast asleep; You lie awake, and you think about the girl..." I closed my eyes reminiscing about the girl. "And never ever think of counting sheep, When your lonely heart has learned its lesson" My eyes brimmed with tears whilst it is closed, but I continued singing. "You'd be hers if only she would call, In the wee small hours of the morning, That's the time you miss her most of all..." I stood up, stopped the vinyl from playing and I wiped my tears away as I heard Mary, my maid, knocking.
"The food is here, madame, Can I come in?" Mary asked, I honestly wonder how she could knock while holding onto my food. "Yes, Please, do come in." I said as I open the door for her with a smile, Mary gave me the food, I say "What would've I done without you, Mary? Thank you so much." I said as I smile at her.
I have been staying inside my room coping, my wedding is nearing... I shouldn't be acting like this, sigh.
A few minutes after I ate I set the table food Mary had brought me aside, I was about to get up from bed and get myself ready for the day when I heard a knock. "Yes? Who might you be?" I asked, "It's me, my love." He responded, It's Nathan. "Can I come in?" He asked and I opened the door and peek at him.
I sighed and let him in, My back was facing him the moment he entered as he says "Lucy, Should we move the date of our wedding a bit further? You seem to be hesitant about it." He caresses my shoulder whilst my back was facing him and he snuggled into my neck. "Is something bothering you? Have I done something wrong, Dear?" He asked with the tone of his voice being soft, I shook my head, He's been nothing but been good to me the entirety of our relationship together. "No, It's not that. You know me, Nate, I'm indecisive." I say as I touch his cheeks still letting my back face him.
He kissed me on the cheek for straight five seconds and gotten himself out of the cuddle we were having while standing, He says, "Alright, Dear." I finally face him and I reached out to touch his cheeks, "I love you, Nathan. I always am thankful for you understanding me all the time, living with you has been nothing but a paradise to me." I said softly smiling at him, You can clearly read his face saying 'What a sight to behold.'
Living with him has been nothing but a paradise but living with you.... living with you felt like I was the best version of me, It wasn't a dreamland, paradise, nor the wonderland but a reality. I was living the best life with you though reality slapped me hard, It wasn't an illusion, it wasn't a creation made for us two because you made every initiation with a person feel like a whole real world filled with joy. It wasn't just us there, you didn't have to create a world, you just let us live in one what we have now. No, what we had before. What we had before is what's precious between us that I tore.
I hadn't notice Nathan opened the television set on my bedroom and there was a news about some famous woman, I was born on 1985, I guess one could say I am kind of under the rock.
"Taylor Swift released her new hit 'The Way I Loved You', It got over millions of listeners on Spotify! Taylor Swift is sure to make a hit this summer wavering with the heat!" That's such a lame rhyming. It's 2009, It says she released it on 2008, just last year and It's already booming. It's on her album called 'Fearless'. The song started playing and the lyrics caught me off guard.
"He is sensible and so incredible and all my single friends are jealousss, He says everything I need to hear and It's like I couldn't ask for anything better. He opens up my door and I get into his car and he says "You look beautiful tonight" and I feel perfectly fiiinnee.... But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, It's 2 A.M. and I'm cursing your name, So in love that you act insane and that's the way I loved you. Breaking down and coming undone, It's a roller coaster kind of rush and I never knew I could feel that much and that's the way I loved you..." My eyes widen, what.... It's not- Is this why it's going viral?
"What nonsense lyrics are those? Did she dream about this romance?" Nathan said as he chuckled but I thought the opposite, This was.... This was what I needed but I never wanted. "And her voice is so rookie-like." He added and I say "Nathan, she's a teenager succeeding in her life. It doesn't sound as bad... Wait, no, It doesn't sound bad at all. She'll improve but hey, Don't you think this sweetie is gorgeous? She's shimmering gold and her eyes are really cute." Nathan frowned and sighed, "You're too kind, It doesn't even sound half as good." He said and I wanted to slap him for the first time ever I felt that about him, What if that kid heard what he just said? It's obvious she looks too sweet for cruel people like Nathan. "If it's a hit then a lot of people think it's good, Nate." I said and he laughed and says "They're probably just streaming it because they're pedophilic, They like the voice of youth." I almost yelled at him but a part of song came in.
"He can't see the smile I'm faking and my heart's not breaking 'cause I'm not feeling anything at all... And you were wild and crazy, just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated. Got away by some mistake and now...." The chorus repeated after that, I really did get away by some mistake and now... Now what? Now, I miss her.
Where are you now, Zen?