The first thing I remember from my childhood, was not the smiling face of my parents. It wasn't the love of the people around me. When I think of my childhood I feel loneliness.
But the really first thing I remember was me standing infront of a big gate, or a door? I was waiting for something, or someone, but I can't remember what I was waiting for. I remember that I was waiting for a long, long time.
As the gate opened a man held out his hand to me. He told me it's alright now. That I don't have to wait anymore and that I won't be lonely from now on.
I was such a fool to trust him.
I was just a Little Child. Naive and full of joy. It was all taken from the man who promised me happiness and a great life.
I don't remember exactly when the point in my life was, where everything changed. I never was a really emotional child, but I did cry some times. When did I stop crying? I wanted to take revenge for everything the professor did to me. But I'm starting to think if it would really be worth it. Maybe I was wrong all this time. Maybe I-
"Jinsei?"
Doctor Murine waves at me to wake me up from my daydreaming.
"Are you listening? I was Talking to you about the deal but you zoned out."
I shake my head to get completely out of the dream.
"I'm sorry I was just… Nevermind. What were we talking about? Ah right, the deal. A favor, right? I'll do anything you want if you can adopt this little child. She needs a family. I don't want her to end up like me."
She nods in agreement.
"Okay is that a Deal? You will do anything for me one time if I ask you to? And you'll do it?"
I nod and she starts to smile like a little child who had just learned to walk.
"That's great! Let's tell Ria about the great news. I hope she likes the idea too."
I don't say a word. I'm happy for Ria. She will have a family, or at least something similar like a family. She will have what I never had, and that makes me happy, because she wouldn't have to end like me. A slave of the professor and a dirty lab rat who does everything for a better life.
I smile a little and go back to the room where Ria was still lying in the bed. Her injuries really are looking bad.
"Ria hear me out. Do you want to be adopted by the lady? By Miss Murine? She will make a great mother, really. She is really caring and you will be safe with her, okay? She can give you everything that all cora children ever want. Do you like the idea?"
She looks at me, closes her eyes and nods. She looks exhausted, but I think she doesn't find the idea too bad.
Doctor Murine just smiles as if she knew anyway that Ria wouldn't say anything against it.
One favor. I have to do one time anything she tells me to. Even if it means to kill someone or to betray the laboratory. I could do it for the deal.
I smile as I see Ria smile for the first time. Now that I look back I think I've never seen her smile before. She looks as happy as when she found out her mother was rescued- Oh right. That's when she smiled. And now her mother is dead. I hope I can at least help a little bit.
I think I should go now. She will be fine with doctor Murine, so I really don't have to worry about that anymore. Maybe I should just go to the professor. Today is Lab day after those 3 or were it 4?- days of silence. Now I have to go to the experiments again. It's just today but it feels like I have to go there for the whole week. I'm tired of this shit.
"I have to go the laboratory now. I will visit tomorrow as well to make sure she is alright."
I smile for a slight second but then go back to normal. I wave to both of them before I open the door and go all the way out of the hospital.
I start to make my way to the laboratory and prepare mentally for the pain that is about to affect my body in just a few minutes.