I take in the sweat glistening on his brow and the aura of pure masculinity that surrounds him. "Um, yeah." My usual calm has deserted me and instead, butterflies swirl through me. A familiar jolt of electricity courses through me as Jackson moves closer, and then closer, and closer until he is standing in front of me, breathing hard.
Without warning, Jackson crashes his lips down onto mine. As I let out a moan, he slips his tongue into my mouth, ruthlessly exploring it as our teeth clash with the ferocity of it all. "Fuck," Jackson growls. He grips the back of my neck, holding me in place so that I can't move even if I wanted to, while also pushing up my skirt so it sits around my waist. A moment later he propels me backwards until I hit the wall, all the while somehow undoing his jeans. I gasp as he nips at my neck, suckling at my sensitive skin while his fingers delve underneath my panties.
"I can't wait, Kat," Jackson warns, his voice raspy.
I groan in response. This is exactly what I want. Actually, this is what I need. "Fuck me, Jackson. Please," I beg unashamedly.
A moment later, Jackson sheaths his straining cock in a condom, before picking me up, slipping my panties to the side and sliding straight into me. My muscles contract almost painfully as he stretches me and fills me to the hilt. I crush my mouth to his as he starts to move his hips, rotating so that each brush of his cock hits that magical spot inside of me that has me crying out. I can feel the muscles tightening in my pelvis and Jackson takes that as his cue to start pumping into me furiously. My orgasm hits me like an explosion, and I feel Jackson twitch inside of me as my release triggers his own.
We are both breathing hard as we come down from our respective highs. I rest my cheek on his shoulder and tuck my face into the crook of his neck. It just feels so right, and that scares me more than I can even begin to rationalise. But I selfishly just want to enjoy the moment, even though I know that we have no future. I can feel the muscles in Jackson's arms starting to twitch and realise that he is straining them holding me up. I look up and plant a soft kiss on his lips before slipping down Jackson's body and putting my feet on the floor. I quickly rearrange my panties and pull my skirt back into place while Jackson gets rid of the condom and tugs on his jeans.
I have no idea what to say. It's not every day you have crazy-good sex against a dressing room wall with a rock god. I chew on the corner of my lip and watch Jackson from underneath my eyelashes.
"You have been a really bad girl, Kat," he says. Okay, that was not what I was expecting. I must look confused because he continues, "You didn't reply to any of my messages. I wasn't sure that you would even turn up tonight. You have been all I can think of since I left your bed and yet you couldn't be bothered to respond. Not even once." He is breathing heavily, and I can hear the tinge of hurt in his voice.
The words die in my throat at his admission and a lump forms. I motion at the mini-fridge, not trusting myself to speak, and help myself to a bottle of water when he gives me the go-ahead with a sweep of his hand. I take a long swig before sliding down the wall until my bum is on the floor. My face must be a myriad of emotions, and I can feel the tears pricking my eyes. When I finally find my voice, the words come out barely above a whisper, "It wasn't that I didn't want to respond, I…I just couldn't. I thought if I didn't reply, you would just stop and move on. I didn't expect any of this. And anyway," I say defensively, "It's not like this would ever work out. I mean, you are a rock star who travels the world and I just work in a bar. That shit only works out in fairy tales, and I gave up believing in those a long time ago."
Jackson lowers himself so that he is sitting in front of me. "You can't do this, or won't? There's a big difference in the semantics. Are you in a relationship with someone else? Or are you just too stubborn to accept that there is something between us? The chemistry that I'm feeling is undeniable…" Jackson trails off, the expression on his face displaying his uncertainty for the first time.
"There is no one else," I say softly, looking Jackson in the eye so that he knows that I am telling the truth. "I just can't be in a relationship where one party is halfway across the world," I lie, thinking that this will be the end of the conversation. Jackson narrows his eyes, and I am worried he has caught me out.
"Well, you are in luck then. This tour is our last for the foreseeable future. Brody is getting married in a couple of months and Lisa, Evan's wife, is having a baby at the end of August. So, you see, we are all heading back to our respective lives to have a well-deserved rest. Believe me, I am so tired of being on the road. I can't wait to settle down and have some of those things for myself." Jackson gives me a knowing smile as if he is seeing into the future and somehow, I am included in that. It scares the shit out of me.
"Well, you are out of luck then," I respond defensively. "I don't do relationships. They are more hassle than they are worth." I scrabble up the wall until I am standing glaring down at him, but quicker than I can blink he is on his feet and caging me in with his arms, his chest pressing against mine.
"You are lying, Kat. To me and to yourself. This is something special. What we have is different, and I know you feel it too. There's a connection between us that I have never felt before. And I am not going to let you run away from it. Not without trying first." Jackson's voice is low and steady, but the vein pulsing in his temple belies his calm.
Every word he is saying is the truth, but I know I must be the strong one in all of this. I put my hands on Jackson's chest and push as hard as I can. He stumbles but gets his balance back quickly, looking at me with confusion across his features. "I can't do this with you, Jackson. You want a future. You want to get married. You want kids. I have no future. I can't do this with you. You deserve someone who can give you all those things, not me. I am just biding my time until I die."