"What do you mean? Are you planning to fucking kill me?!" I yelled.
{Huh? No, you misunderstood. How can I kill my host, you fucking idiot} Kai replied before continuing.
{What I mean is, you need to wake up right now, or else you are really going to die due to suffocation,} Kai added.
"What are you talking about?" I asked as my confusion grew.
{You idiot, as I said, suffocation! You know, It has already been two days, and the oxygen where you are right now is almost running low!} Kai retorted.
What? Two days? Wait, am I still in that coffin? I thought I already got out of it when I passed out!
"Shit, so you're telling me that I'm still inside of it? Why did you just say it just now?!" I exclaimed, blaming Kai for not mentioning it earlier.
{Bruhh... You didn't listen to me when I said, 'Don't interrupt me!'} Kai replied, shifting the blame to me.
Argh, you... you're just passing the blame to me, but...
"But still.... I did listen, in the end, you know!?" I retorted, bringing back the blame.
"Also, how come it's already been two days when your explanations only took an hour?" I inquired.
{Ha...} Kai sighed in frustration.
I know... I know some of you may be wondering how the fuck Kai can sigh.
When Kai is just a black sphere, but let's put that thought aside, okay?
Let's just imagine that Kai is a Bluetooth speaker capable of sighing.
{You idiot... listen here,} Kai said, starting to explain the situation.
{Do you know what time dilation are?} Kai asked me.
"Yes?" I replied, unsure about my answer.
Isn't that the phenomenon where time passes more slowly than the original time?
For example, time flows slower inside the room in a time machine, while outside, time flows faster. Is that what you're referring to?
Is that it? Fuck, I don't know!
{Then, I guess you already know what is happening?} Kai asked.
"Yes?" I replied.
Damn it... I just said 'yes,' but I actually have no fucking idea what it is. And even if I do know, I'm unsure if I'm correct. So fuck it
"..!"
Wait, Let's put that thought aside for now. Kai still hasn't told me how to wake up!
"Hey," I called out to Kai.
{Don't call me Kai; call me Master Kai,} Kai ordered in a bossy tone.
Gri... damn it.
"Yes, Master Kai. Can I ask you, Do you know how I can get out? No, I mean, can you help me wake up, Master Kai?" I said in a pleading tone, with utmost fucking respect.
{Good. Now call me Master Kai every time. Got it?} Kai asked in a sadistic tone.
Damn it, that sadistic tone again. He just said I needed to wake up, yet he's still refusing to tell me how to do it now. Is he nuts?!
"Fine, Master Kai. So, could you please tell me how to wake up now?" I inquired, emphasizing my fucking respect.
{Fine, All you need to do is close your eyes first,} Kai ordered
"Got it," I said as I closed my eyes.
"What's next?" I asked.
{As you close your eyes, now try to empty your mind,} Kai instructed.
Empty my mind, huh? Okay...
{And remember, no matter what, just empty your m... i... n... d...} Kai said as his voice slowly faded away.
With that, I slowly sank deeper into the ocean of my consciousness.
-Twii!!
-Twii!!!!
The annoying sound of birds chirping together forced me to open my eyes.
As I opened my eyes, all I could see was darkness, but not pure darkness, because there was a blinking red light above my head in the upper right corner.
"Shit, so I'm really inside," I frowned in an annoyed tone while scratching my head.
-Ding!
Suddenly, a purple-colored holographic screen popped up in the corner of my eyes, displaying a notification.
{KAI: Yo, you finally woke up.}
"Waa!!" I screamed loudly as if my soul had jumped out of my body.
{KAI: Waa!!!}
{KAI: Why did you scream, you idiot?!}
"You're asking why?!" I said first.
"Well, imagine that you're a claustrophobic person, and suddenly some weird shit appears right in front of you!" I yelled, my heart still beating rapidly from the shock.
{KAI: (°ロ°)...}
{KAI: Coward.}
"I'm not!" I retorted. in embarrassment.
{KAI: (* ￣︿￣) what the...}
{KAI: Hey, it seems you forgot something.}
"What? What do you mean?" I asked cluelessly.
{KAI: No, not that. Wait, did you just forget that you're still trapped inside this, what you called, coffin, right?}
"..."
{KAI: (°ロ°)}
Shit, damn it, why do I always forget important things like this!? Damn it!
"Argh, shit, I forgot!" I exclaimed
"That's right. I need to get out now!" I said, and without further ado, I kicked the coffin, hoping that brute force would help me open it.
-Crackle!!
The first kick didn't work.
-Crackle!
The second kick didn't work either.
-Crackle!!!
The third kick, fucking hell, no need to say it because it didn't work either.
And so, after kicking it multiple times, this shitty coffin was still locked! Just as it was. So, I temporarily gave up.
"Shit, shit, what am I going to do?" I mumbled as I started to panic.
Shit, I really hate this kind of situation because I'm panicking!
Why am I panicking?
Well, let me be in my situation and imagine that you're in a situation where you know that if you don't do a single shit, you're as good as dead!
"Hey, Kai! Help me!" I yelled, calling for help.
{KAI: Call me Master.}
What the fuck?! Can't you see that I'm panicking right now, and you still take the time for that?! Tsk, fine.
"Master Kai, please help me open this coffin!" I yelled as I begged for help.
{KAI: Coffin?}
"Yes, I'm talking about where I am right now," I said, pointing my finger above.
{KAI: Idiot, this isn't a coffin but a temporary shelter.}
"Like I care! So help me right now!" I yelled.
{KAI: Sorry, sorry, but I can't help you.}
"What?!!" I yelled once more.
{KAI: As you can see, I'm just a holographic screen. So what can I do? Bang myself into it?}
"Yes!" I exclaimed.
{KAI: (°ロ°)}
{KAI: Idiot, do you think I, as I am right now, can help you? I don't even have a body, you know?}
"..."
Damn it, he's right. What can this shit do right now when he's just a screen? But still, maybe he can still do something.
"Hey! If that's the case, then do you have any ability that can strengthen my body?" I asked.
{KAI: I don't have that so-called instant strength boost, but I have what I call wisdom.}
'Wisdom, my ass! How can wisdom help me? What's it gonna do? Tell me that there's an emergency button on this coffin?!'
"Damn it, I'm fucked," I mumbled uselessly, giving up.
{KAI: Idiot, what do you mean by 'your fuck'? You're still not dead, you know?}
"Can't you see? Right now, I'm basically trapped inside this coffin, and at the same time, I'm going to die due to suffocation!" I said in a desperate tone.
{KAI: Idiot, what do you mean by that you're going to die? Can't you see that you still have me?}
"What can you do? Bless me with your wisdom. You're just a holographic screen, after all!" I frowned.
{KAI: Yes, I'm just a holographic screen, but even so, I can still help you, right?}
"And how will you do that?" I inquired, with a doubtful expression on my face.
{KAI: Can you see the red blinking light above your head?}
"Yeah," I answered.
{KAI: Press that shit.}
"Why?" I asked, still doubtful.
{KAI: Because that thing above you is the emergency button to open this coffin.}
"Emergency button," I mumbled.
"Huh...?!! Wait, did you just say?!! this fucking blinking light is an emergency button?!" I exclaimed as I immediately looked at the blinking lights above me.
As I did that, I noticed something unusual at the bottom corner of the blinking lights.
There were words written on it that said, "[PRESS ONLY IN CASE OF EMERGENCY]."
Fucking hell, it's so fucking small?! How the fuck can I read this?!
"Damn it," I murmured.
{KAI: See, this is the power of wisdom.}
Yeah, there's no need to brag about it. Fucking hell.
"Yes, Master Kai. Woah... nice," I said in a mocking tone.
{KAI: stop mocking me and press that button now so we can breathe some fresh air.}
'We?'
"Ah, sorry," I said as I looked up and pressed the button. As I pressed it...
-fussss...
The sound of air pressure blowing echoed inside the coffin.
-Click!
And with that clicking sound, the coffin finally opened like a treasure chest.
Immediately after it opened, a large amount of air rushed in.
The air that entered the coffin was refreshing, carrying with it the aromatic scent of leaves.
"Ha..." I let out a long sigh, feeling relieved.
Before I leaned back and tried to take a peek to see what had happened to my room. However, to my surprise...
"Huh? This isn't my room... Holy shit," I mumbled, not confused but simply surprised.
"K-Kai... No, I mean Master Kai, where the fuck am I?" I asked Kai, seeking for an answer.
{KAI: I have no idea. In short, I don't know.}
{KAI: Also are you dumdum?}
"Nah... this is all my hormones' fault."