The essence of this thought is a form of paranoia, that is, overestimating the consequences of things that may lead to anxiety but have not yet happened, and then imposing the potential harm of these unreal consequences upon oneself in advance.
Human beings' mental strength is not designed to bear the anxiety of both the present and the future simultaneously. Clark is in such a state now. Even though he knows that the CIA may have ulterior motives, once he thinks about the possibility of more villagers being slaughtered if he doesn't participate, he feels immense pain.
"So, do you want to go?" Shiller asked.
"My rationale tells me that things may not be as they say, they are asking me to go with ill intentions, intending to use me, so I shouldn't go." Clark furrowed his brows, revealing a look of torment. His rational and emotional senses were tangled in a mess within himself, leaving him unable to decide what action to take.
"There's too much uncertainty in you, whether what they say is true, how the villagers are, what's happening on that continent, what you will see after you go..." Shiller lightly tapped the plate with his fork to attract Clark's attention, then pointing to the grilled fish in front of him, he said:
"What do you think about this dish?"
"I think... well, it's okay. The fish is probably fresh, but I don't really like this preparation. It's a bit too spicy." Clark answered, somewhat absentmindedly. He didn't understand why Shiller was asking such a question.
"You saw this dish being served, you saw its color, smelled its aroma, tasted its flavor and based on these facts, you made a definite judgment. Did you feel conflicted during this process?"
Clark thought about it carefully, then shook his head and said, "No, there's nothing difficult about it. It's just a dish."
"What you're doing now is equivalent to sitting there doing nothing, not seeing the dish, not smelling its aroma, not tasting its taste, and feeling agony because you can't make a judgment." Shiller speared a piece of grilled fish, examining it before saying:
"But the fact is, if you haven't tasted it, you can't make a judgment. Even God is the same, no one can judge something they haven't seen, heard, or tried, right?" Shiller looked at Clark.
"So, I should go see, hear, and try? But even after I have these facts, am I certain to make the right judgment?" Clark asked.
"That's another issue. These facts provide confidence, enabling them to be confident in their judgment. If you still feel not confident after collecting all the facts, perhaps it's an issue with your mentality. What are your thoughts?"
Clark thought for a moment, then extended his hand and said, "If an ordinary person makes a wrong judgment, at most, they might mess up a job, or cause some confusion, or at worst, go to jail."
"But if I make a mistake, it could kill a lot of people, perhaps destroy a country, or even... possibly destroy the Earth, I don't know, I can't even bear to imagine..." Clark pursed his lips, his expression was persistently troubled, hovering on the brink of anxiety.
"It seems that you have deeply realized the gap between your power and that of ordinary people. You see yourself as an outsider, and you want to integrate into human society by helping others, but you dread the horrendous consequences that mistakes might lead to, hence you're completely fearful to make a judgment..."
Shiller muttered to himself, Clark's problem was quite troublesome, like a lion living in the middle of an ant colony, problems like these are difficult to solve simply with psychotherapy due to the differing physical states of existence.
"I can only offer one advice, that is, regardless of whether you can make an accurate judgment after gathering all the facts, it's better to gather the facts first. Seeing is believing. Perhaps after you see it, you might have a different perspective." After Shiller finished speaking, he put down his knife and fork and wiped his mouth.
Clark sat in his spot and took a deep breath, he was good at heeding other people's advice, and since Shiller had said so, he decided to head to Mexico first and see for himself, as it was merely a short flight for him.
The Mexican government and the CIA had considered utilizing air power to search for the group of people that had been giving them a headache.
However, the person leading them had somehow obtained some advice, the underground work he was doing was literally underground, beneath the soil of Mexico.
As mentioned before, Galado, the boss of the Guadalajara drug cartel, had once enraged the Congress and the CIA because of a case of torturing agents. The whole organization was heavily suppressed, and till this day, the Guadalajara Organization was in decline and on the brink of disbanding.
At this point, another notorious drug lord was rising to prominence, "the shorty", Guzman. His notoriety was much larger than Galado's. However, he was indeed a member who had split from the Guadalajara Organization.