"We're really not going out to help them?" Tim asked, holding guns in both hands and squatting behind an overturned police car, watching Shiller and Deadpool open a bag of chips.
"I've really been curious for a long time," Shiller said to himself, "what does a chip made of Lego taste like?"
Deadpool had already opened a pack, tossed a chip into his mouth and chewed, then said, "I'm more curious, without a digestive tract, where does all the food we eat go?"
"That's disgusting," Tim said, putting down his gun and opening a pack of cookies. After taking a bite, he exclaimed in surprise, "Look, I bit off exactly a quarter! Or should I say, can Lego only be bitten into quarters?"
Deadpool found that he could only bite his chip in half, too, and out of curiosity, he opened a pack of cookies, finding that he could only bite off a quarter at a time.
He held the remaining half in his mouth like a cigarette and said, "This is really boring."
"You sure? This is exactly the family-friendly rating cosmos you've dreamed of! Perpetual PG-rating!"
Deadpool's eyes widened in disbelief, and Tim, after chewing the last piece of cookie, said, "It's normal, right? Minifigure fights can't be violent, can they? After all, nobody actually dies, and arms and legs can be reattached. There's no better family-friendly movie than this."
"But my arms and legs can be reattached too," Deadpool protested, "Even if I'm reduced to minced meat, I can recover. Doesn't that count as family-friendly?"
"If you were mute, there might be some hope," Shiller assessed very appropriately.
"We can't keep messing around with them," Tim said, peeking out before looking back outside, then said, "I will never understand Batman and Joker's deal. Maybe we should just do our own thing."
"Got any ideas?" Shiller asked as he began to examine a bottled drink, turning it around to check the ingredients list.
"My computer skills are not bad. Get me a computer, and I should be able to figure out the location of the Lego factory. Maybe I can even hack into the production line and make them produce something for us."
"Where would the raw materials come from?"
"Uh, they should have raw materials, right?" Tim scratched his head and said.
"But we don't just need a tiny bit of Lego, like you said. If these bricks were transported to the real world at their normal size, we would need an enormous quantity of bricks," Shiller pointed out.
"I do remember the formula for the raw materials of plastic, but I think the bricks in this world are not made of plastic; otherwise, how could they move on their own?" Tim speculated thoughtfully. "I guess there might be some magic involved."
Shiller nodded in approval; actually, he wanted to give a thumbs up, but his current hands simply couldn't do it. He said, "To get that many bricks, normal methods definitely won't work. We need to figure out what's really going on in this world."
"You mean how this Lego cosmos came into being?"
"More or less," Shiller replied. "From an outsider's perspective, making movies with Lego might not seem strange, but there has to be a truth within the movie, a truth about the nature of this world, not just that you're being manipulated by someone."
"I get it. This universe has its own origin story, and we have to seek out that origin. Ideally, we'd find a way to mass-produce Legos," Tim nodded.
Deadpool had already finished a pack of chips, his cheeks stuffed, and mumbled unclearly while chewing, "So what are we waiting for? Let's get going."
"No rush," Shiller replied. "The equipment we brought from outside isn't very helpful, since we didn't expect to turn into minifigures. It's best to get some local equipment first."
"You mean..."
When Barbara's police car arrived, there stood a man in the middle of the road with his hands high up. She told the driver, "Stop the car."
She got out with her gun drawn, and when the headlights were turned off, Barbara could see that the man in a white coat didn't seem like a dangerous person.
"Sorry, ma'am, I want to surrender," he said.
"What crime did you commit?"
"Are you sure you want to talk about this here?"
In the background behind Shiller, a Joker was chasing a Batman, and a different Batman chased him back again.
Barbara covered her forehead with a hand, sighed, and said, "Get them in the car. We're going back to the station."
Click, the prison cell door closed, and Shiller discovered that his arc-shaped plastic piece of a hand was very good at grabbing the bars, so that's what he did. He called out to the receding Barbara, "Ma'am, I think you should hear me out..."
Barbara didn't respond and continued to walk away. While checking the door lock, Shiller remarked, "If you won't listen to my explanation, you can't blame me for what happens next."
He examined the lock closely; the lock was not a simple Lego piece but a meticulously put together mechanical structure that required a specific key to open. If he wasn't mistaken, the key had an oval loop on top, a straight stick below, and a square protrusion at the very end of the stick.
"Who would this cartoon key stop?" Shiller quickly picked the flimsy lock.
Sneaking out of the cell, he found that Tim was already out and had knocked out a guard. Tim gestured towards Shiller—not that he could make much of a gesture—and dragged the guard into the storage room.
"Deadpool's been taken upstairs for questioning," Tim whispered, coming out of the storage room. "Only two people down here in the cells now. The super equipment arsenal is underground beneath the police station, but there are three heavy security doors. One of them is set by Batman himself, requiring both a voice command and a password."
"No big deal," Shiller said. "Know where the door is?"
"This way, follow me."
Tim led Shiller to the end of a corridor and opened a door, revealing a secure passage. At the far end of the corridor was a small elevator. Tim stepped inside and pressed the ground-floor button twice, lighting up a sign for the basement.
"You asked all too clearly," Shiller remarked.
"I told him if he didn't cooperate, I'd pour lemon juice into his head," Tim replied.
"That's brutal."
"Isn't it?"
After the elevator doors opened, a corridor filled with futuristic technology appeared before their eyes. Shiller said, "I've been meaning to ask, why is it called the Super Equipment Arsenal?"
"This is an emergency weapons cache prepared by Batman for the Gotham Police Department, with lethal technologies from different eras."
"The kind that can scatter someone's parts with one shot?"
"More than that, it can scatter the parts of an entire building."
"Deadly indeed."
"Isn't that the truth?"
The two followed the passage to the first security door, which only required a passcode to open. Tim pressed a few buttons, and the door swung open.
The second security door asked for Barbara's favorite type of coffee, a question that hit the mark. As an avid coffee enthusiast, Tim knew the preferences of every member of the Batman Family.
Standing in front of the third door adorned with the Bat logo, Tim shrugged and said, "Over to you."
"Password."
"Iron Man is so weak."
"Password incorrect."
"Alfred is a bad butler."
"Password incorrect."
"Uh, Superman is an annoying ghost?"
"So this is your idea of handling it?" Tim said with some helplessness, "How long are we going to guess like this? The guy who looks like an insomniac Jason can't hold out much longer."
Shiller cleared his throat and said, "Gordon is an annoying ghost?"
"Password correct."
The door opened.
In a spacious hall, walls were adorned with a dazzling array of equipment, much more detailed and complex than their suddenly transformed Lego-built gear.
Tim had his eye on a large gun and wanted to open the glass case to take it out, but Shiller stopped him.
The large screen in front of them suddenly lit up, and Batman's big head appeared on the screen. He laughed loudly twice, spun his chair around, and leaned closer to the camera, "Bet you didn't expect this. As soon as someone steps in here, my communication line is activated. You can't get away, you damned thieves!"
The wall tiles retracted, revealing numerous gun barrels. Shiller calmly extended a hand and said, "Stop! I have a question for you."
Batman on the screen had one eye bigger than the other, full of confusion and distrust.
"What's your favorite color of pajamas?"
Batman looked left and right, his eyes darting all over the place. Tim never thought he'd use the word 'shifty-eyed' to describe Batman.
"Alright, you got me," Batman whispered into the camera, "My favorite pajamas are red velvet stripes..."
"Barbara! Barbara!! You've got the wrong person!!" Shiller yelled, "The Batman at Wayne Manor right now is an impostor!! Go catch him!!!"
"No... wait! I... I..."
Red warning lights started flashing outside Wayne Manor.
"God, do all Batmans like to dress up like medieval nobles?" Tim began to doubt his life as he watched the Batman, who was being led away and still shouting.
"Trust me, go rummage through your dad's closet. You're bound to find a velvet striped pajama, even if it's blue."
After Batman left, there was no one to operate the guns. Tim boldly smashed the glass of the weapon display and armed himself to the teeth.
"Aren't you taking anything? Doctor?"
Shiller only took the small handgun that Tim had discarded, then said, "I'm not good with guns. If you don't want me to accidentally hit our own team, I'd better stick to shooting jelly beans."
Tim adjusted his gear and found that his favorite gun was actually a laser weapon, something pretty formidable, likely the nemesis of plastic, especially to Lego people.
There were also many nanotech smoke grenades, which were useful since Lego people also rely on sight to navigate. Then there was the multi-functional grappling hook, great for swinging around the city.
Shiller picked out some weapons for Deadpool too. First was a lightsaber, likely one of the Easter eggs. Unexpected to find it here, but Deadpool would probably love to have a crossover with such a big IP.
Next were a pair of guns that shot spider bullets. They were incredibly effective against those afraid of spiders, but harmless to others—basically toys, but Deadpool liked spiders.
Shiller also selected weapons for Batman, starting with a gun that would quack whenever pressed, completely useless but it would expose his location and look comical.
Then there was a recording grenade, which could record insults and be tossed next to someone's ear. Its biggest advantage was that it couldn't be turned off, annoying the person until they went deaf.
Tim didn't know why Batman's arsenal contained such items. He felt he should really learn from Jason to thoroughly explore his dad's collection.
Equipped, Shiller and Tim headed up. Just as they reached the top, a loud bang echoed—the cell door slammed shut, and Batman grabbed the bars, yelling out.
"Barbara, listen to me explain..."