Shiller could probably understand the logic behind what Loki said. For a long time, roughly the period from their adolescence to young adulthood, Loki's identity was quite awkward.
When they were children, they had no obligations or responsibilities, after all, Asgard, no matter how callous and crazed, wouldn't send children onto the battlefield. From what Shiller understood, the birthrate in Asgard was very low, and every child was treasured. Their own childhoods had been carefree as well.
But once they started growing up, they had responsibilities to assume, just like every Asgardian, to fight in wars and contribute to their kingdom.
War is a machine that once started, cannot be stopped in any normal way. Every Asgardian involved had their own difficulties, were compelled to participate, but also reaped the benefits of the spoils of war, naturally no one could remain an observer, including Odin.
As the king, since it was he who started this colossal war machine, his sons also had to learn to drive this vehicle. Thor, as Odin's chosen successor, needed to prepare early to take the reins of the fiery steed from his father.
Loki was not the heir, to be precise. Odin couldn't let Loki succeed to the throne of Asgard because, both physically and in terms of identity, he couldn't bear such responsibility; it was best for him to stay far away from these matters.
Even if he wanted to involve himself, Odin would certainly exclude him from the center of power early on. It was best for everyone: Thor could bear the responsibility more effectively, Loki, having never tasted power, would not suffer the pain of losing it, and Odin himself could smoothly hand over Asgard to the heir.
The only one who had to make sacrifices in this situation was Loki, because in the grand environment of Asgard, everyone was expected to contribute to victory. If you couldn't fight, then you managed logistics; if you couldn't manage logistics, then you conducted scientific research; if you couldn't even do research, then you stayed home and had children.
But Loki was capable of none of these.
Firstly, because of his physical condition, he couldn't fight. His deceptive magic was not suited for the frontlines and was nowhere near as efficient as the Asgardians' combat prowess. Forcing the issue would be both ineffective and thankless.
He couldn't manage logistics either, as this area had always been Frigga's responsibility. Only the Queen of Gods had the authority to share half of the Divine King's power; a prince couldn't do it. Odin wouldn't entertain Loki with such an illusion.
He couldn't engage in scientific research either, because most of Asgard's weapons and spaceships depended on Divine Power. Loki's own Divine Power was weak, leaving him unable to partake in most experiments, and like logistics, handling weapons was also a ticket to the center of power, a thought Odin wouldn't allow him to have.
That left only one possibility: to procreate. Although at that time Loki did not know he was a descendant of the Frost Giants, he was aware of his own congenital weakness, which could potentially be inherited by his offspring, becoming not only a disservice to Asgard but also a hindrance.
However, Loki had always been fixated on having descendants, as evidenced by how easily he had accepted Helen's existence and how now he would rather court across the cosmos to have a child, even after several failures.
Shiller used to think that Loki regarded his ability to procreate as special, like some human parents who wish to compensate for their own inadequacies through their children or to fulfill their own desires through them.
People often have such visions, hoping to raise a version of their younger selves again, in a completely different and regret-free manner to make up for their own less than joyful childhoods.
Loki was supposed to be like that, with such an identity in Asgard, he must have had numerous regrets that haunted his dreams, ones he could amend with offspring.
But now it seemed not to be the case; he didn't need to re-raise himself for Thor, his brother, had always been nurturing him in a normal way.
Sometimes Shiller also found it hard to determine whether Thor was truly naive or if he was deceptively insightful, or perhaps he was a combination of both all along.
Throughout history, those who could play the role of the simplest brother amidst the complex struggle for royal power are few and far between, and Thor was one of them, unswervingly so from start to finish.
In the eyes of others, Loki had many identities, such as the non-inheritor who couldn't touch power, the sickly magician, the less popular Second Prince, but these perceptions of others seemed to not affect Thor at all, not even Odin's perception of Loki.
Thor's approach to Loki always differed from everyone else; he disregarded all the complex identity perceptions and firmly, resolutely saw Loki just as his brother.
This explained his many shocking actions. He brought Loki to the front line not out of any discontent with Odin or to intimidate others; he simply wanted Loki to toughen up since he, too, had improved his constitution through battle and exercise.
He allowed Loki's mischief not because he wanted to indulge Loki or to set him up for failure, nor was it because he was honestly ignorant and incapable of unraveling the truth, but rather he just wanted to give in to his brother, not holding anything against him.
He let Loki act as a prince not because Loki was capable or because there was no better choice than Loki, but because he trusted Loki.
The regrets that should have been present in Loki's life seemed less in need of rectification in the face of Thor's attitude.
Thus, looking at it conversely, Loki's desire to have a child might actually be motivated by the opposite reason. If Thor were to have a child, and he too had one, then this world might see another pair of brothers like them.
Loki thought this was a happy thing.
To say he wanted a child to draw Thor's attention was simply this: Loki's increasing urgency might not be due to any pressure from Frigga about his lifelong matters, but purely because Thor's child was about to be born. If he didn't have one soon, there could be a great age gap between the two children, preventing them from playing together.
Loki actually hoped his child could have a childhood just like his own, which Shiller found quite counterintuitive when he first came to this conclusion.
From a public perspective, Loki's childhood was not very joyful, as he was frail and often sick, always the one not chosen, and in every aspect inferior to his brother. Each of these points could cast an indelible shadow over a childhood.
Generally speaking, such experiences would reduce a person's desire to have children, similar to how someone from an unhappy family might not wish their children to follow in their footsteps.
But Loki thought such a childhood was happiness. He wanted the arrival of a child to bring it all back, even if there was a good chance the child might, like him, not be very healthy. Yet he believed that the child could experience the same joy he did in those years.
In Loki's eyes, all the negative emotions—Odin's lack of choice, the Asgardians' lack of acknowledgment, the frailty and torment of illness—all of it added together was insignificant compared to the positive emotions Thor brought him.
Shiller was genuinely curious about how Thor had managed to do this, since, although he was Loki's psychological doctor, he had never really interfered in the private lives of the two brothers. From the little Loki had mentioned, Thor was nothing more than a brute and a fool, never spoken of in kind terms.
With the rare opportunity to go back to the past, Shiller wanted to see what kind of magic power Thor possessed. Loki was not the type to be easily satisfied, or to put it another way, he and Shiller were fundamentally alike; both were greedy, with an insatiable desire for emotional fulfillment.
After a while, there was a knock on the door. When Loki opened it, a tall figure blocked the light completely.
"Are you alright?" Thor asked in a muffled voice, "What exactly is wrong with you? Sif said you insisted on wearing that worn-out clothing. What's so good about it?"
"What's it to you?" Loki rolled his eyes and walked back into the room, followed by Thor, who rubbed underneath his nose and said, "Um… you're not hurt, are you?"
Opening his arms slightly, Loki was carefully scrutinized by Thor, who then said with a touch of annoyance, "Then why did you tell the doctors you were injured? Haven't I told you not to lie?"
"They diagnosed that on their own." Loki's eyeroll nearly reached the ceiling as he said, "I told them I wasn't sick, yet they insisted I was, and that Heimdall…"
"You must have tricked them," Thor said with a look that read 'as if I don't know you.' He continued, "Even if you didn't trick them, you were planning to trick someone else, but you can't fool me. You're going with the Patrol Fleet tomorrow, I'm leaving."
As he turned to leave, he couldn't help but look back at Loki, who was facing the window with his back to Thor, not even sparing him a glance. Standing by the door, Thor finally said, "If you really aren't feeling well, then go day after tomorrow, but you're not allowed to lie anymore."
Loki still ignored him, and Thor stood there, sighed, shook his head, and left.
Over the comms, Shiller said, "What's with that attitude of his? Why does he just assume you're lying?"
"Haven't I lied?"
"What?"
Startled, Shiller then said, "But you didn't lie to those doctors; they insisted on their own that you were injured."
"But did I not lie to Steven?"
After a pause, Shiller said, "But that's not the same thing, right?"
"He didn't say for certain that I was lying to the doctors. He knows I might be deceiving someone else, he might even know that I was deceiving that blurred Shadow who fought with him. But he didn't stop me."
"So what?"
Loki stood by the window, watching planets swiftly pass by the side of the fleet, and said, "You and Steven both fail to realize the seriousness of this matter—I, Loki, the Second Prince of Asgard, someone who shouldn't be on the front lines, ended up there anyway."
"Dressed strangely today, behaving oddly, I mysteriously vanished for a long time while our squad was stationed at the base, and right after, a mysterious figure attacked the Crown Prince of Asgard and kept questioning Thor."
"After being locked in a room by the Emperor, I disappeared again, brazenly meeting with the fleet's tracker, and when I returned, I refused to explain and even planned to pin the blame on the distinguished Heimdall."
"Tell me, if this had happened within a human Royal Family, what would my fate be?"
Flashes of countless scenes from China's five thousand years of history went through Shiller's mind before he confidently said.
"If you were still standing here breathing, Odin and Thor would at the very least bear the infamy of indecisiveness."