They slept in until past nine o'clock, stirring out of bed like two disoriented chicks.
Selina staggered off to get dressed while Bruce sat on the edge of the bed staring into space. It took him a good three minutes to remember to put on his shorts.
Then they gradually came to their senses, but fell into disagreement over their outfits.
"You're going to get burned to a crisp." Selina leaned against the bathroom door, pointing at Bruce's attire. "Put on your sun guard sleeves, wear a pair of pants, and don't forget your hat and umbrella."
"You're kidding, right? I'm about to enjoy the sunlight I've not had in my first 20 years of life."
Selina gave an exasperated look, raising her hands and letting them drop again. "Do you seriously not understand how strong the UV rays can get in a typical coastal city? Let me make it clear, I don't want my boyfriend to turn into an overcooked shrimp."
"Don't be like that, dear. Do you really think I'll get sunburned? Us Gothamites don't follow such a practice. We're not rednecks from the Midwest."
"But you're still a white man, and you appear to be of pure descent."
"Aren't you?"
Selina rolled her eyes: "Don't tell me you've been dating me for this long without realizing I have a touch of brown in me. Didn't you notice I'm not all that pale?"
"I thought you deliberately tanned your skin. But your facial features do suggest you're white."
"I already told you, I'm mixed race, it's just a minor percentage... I'm finding it harder and harder to reason with you. Just put on your sun protection suit!"
Selina lunged at Bruce - at least that's how it appeared from his perspective - trying to stuff him into a paper-thin, unattractive outer garment he had never worn before.
"Do you know how popular sun protection gear is nowadays? I had to ask a nun who works for my buddy Tom to get it from her husband's diving gear store!"
Under duress, Bruce donned the garment. Then Selina tossed him a hat, not a baseball cap with just a frontal brim, but a full-rounded hat.
"You're overreacting, Selina. Listen, when Clark and I were in his hometown, yes it was sunny but not this dire," Bruce replied.
Grabbing his shoulders, Selina proceeded to adjust his hat for him: "Could you use that intelligent brain of yours to think about the physics you're so fond of? We're heading to the pier! UV rays, you know?"
Just as she fastened the hat, Selina pulled out a sun umbrella from her bag, but Bruce immediately stepped back: "No, that's where I draw the line. Dear, the sun's finally out in Gotham, we don't need an umbrella."
"It's to block the sun... fine, at least change into pants."
In the end, Bruce did not change his shorts, and Selina reluctantly decided to let the sun teach him a lesson.
Some people might think that summer is the time when the UV rays are the most intense, which is not incorrect, but in coastal cities, the late summer transitioning into autumn can cause moderate sunburn just in half an hour.
The real danger lies in the peak of summer when everyone is thinking of sun protection. The burning sensation drives people to seek shade. However, once the temperature decreases, many people let their guard down, leading to the dermatology department in hospitals jam-packed within a month.
When they first stepped out, Bruce didn't feel the sunlight at all, especially since it was not yet ten o'clock, and they soon got in the car. Halfway through, Bruce even took off his hat.
Selina had given up on him and shoved the sun umbrella into Bruce's hands - his favorite amusement when they go out together was to fold the umbrella back to its original state.
To Selina, this was nothing short of magic. Once an umbrella left its original cover in her hands, she would never be able to put it back. The folded spokes might as well have concealed a portable labyrinth.
"What color dress do you think I should buy? The Op necklace is sunset-colored, maybe blue?"
"All I can tell you is that I plan to wear a vintage orange-brown suit with a dark blue tie."
Selina raised her eyebrows in surprise: "Finally giving up on your dreadful dark blue suit? I've always thought you'd look great in a colored suit."
"Actually, I wanted to go for silver, but it seemed a bit inappropriate."
"If you have no particular fondness for black, then why did you design the bat suit in black?" Selina tamed her wavy hair and asked, "You know it would be more noticeable in color."
"It wasn't designed to attract attention initially."
Selina dismissed that with a wave of her hand, clearly not believing. She took out a small mirror to check her face, then said: "But I've never seen you on duty. Will you be going tonight? Can I come and watch?"
"Not tonight, of course. Don't you remember? We have a banquet. And I really don't understand what's so fascinating about it."
"Stop pretending. You know perfectly well what the charm is. Don't think I'm not aware you read that bodybuilding guide twenty times a week. By the way, it's useless without a proper diet."
Bruce sighed heavily.
"What if I told you I'm not bulking up for the bat suit, but to avoid accusations of looking unkempt when I put on another suit of armor, would you buy that?"
"I have grown used to your bullshit."
"Those superhumans will never understand the efforts ordinary humans have to make to maintain a sculpted physique that they're naturally born with."
"And yet you would rather play cards than hit the gym."
"Can I justify it as necessary mental labor?"
Selina turned to Bruce and pinched his arm, saying: "You might think I'm flattering you, but I think you're just right. I wouldn't want you to become a bulky classic bodybuilder. That's too much."
Bruce raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Selina added, "Your appeal to women doesn't lie in your physique alone. Of course, a great body and a good-looking face help, but what differentiates you from other heartthrobs is your brooding character. That's very unique, and uniqueness is most important."
Just as Bruce was about to speak up, Selina shifted the topic, "I heard a female assassin named Talia is after you. Is she planning to kill you?"
"I don't think so."
"Then she must want to sleep with you."
"Where did you hear that from?"
Selina glanced at Bruce, and he grudgingly admitted, "To be precise, she seems to want to have my baby."
Selina nearly choked on her saliva. After coughing violently, she growled at Bruce: "Are you kidding me?! Is she crazy?!"
"Wanting to bear my child, is that some sort of..."
"Stop talking, think about Aisha."
Bruce fell silent.
"We were together back then." Unbelievably, Selina continued, "If she doesn't want to start a family with you, is she going to raise your child alone? Has she lost her mind?"
"Aisha might be an accidental case."
"But she's the only one among all children who carries your genes, and everyone else seems normal."
Bruce had no answer to that.
Their vehicle arrived soon, parking near the marketplace's side gate. Selina checked her shoulder bag and walked in, stopping at the nearest beverage shop, head bowed rummaging for cash.
"I'm going to have a coffee, what about you?"
"I... huh?"
Turning to Bruce, Selina saw that he seemed to have his gaze fixed on something. After seeing what it was, Selina gave Bruce a potent smack on the arm. When he turned to look at her, all he got was a death stare.
"Oh, two beauties. Our Playboy seems to intend..."
"Hush, keep quiet, come over." Bruce pulled Selina behind a stall.
"Pamela?" Selina recognized one of them, but the other tall beauty seemed unfamiliar.
"Talya." Bruce uttered her name in a low voice, then frowned, "How did these two get together?"
"Little Pa?" Selina also knitted her brows, but as she turned, she met Bruce's death stare.
"'Little Pa'? How did you two meet?"
"I saved her when we first met, and then we became good friends. Anything odd about that?"
"She is a lesbian."
"I'm not."
"You better not be."
"The same goes for you." Selina immediately began to count on her fingers, "Clark Kent, Lex Luthor, Evans Falcone..."
"They are all my friends."
"So is Little Pa." impatiently, Selina waved her hand, "We don't have 'that kind' of relationship. You explain about Talya first."
Bruce, equally puzzled, peeked out and said, "I thought she left Gotham. Who knows what she's doing by staying here."
"Well, let me test her abilities first." Selina snapped her fingers, "especially her mental state."
Bruce was a second too late; Selina had already vanished. He sighed, paid for the beverages, bypassing the stall to find a table and sit.
Before long, Selina returned, a smug smile on her face, pinching a thin wallet between her fingers that was clearly not her style.
While sipping his coffee, Bruce gave her a thumbs-up. Surprised, Selina replied, "I thought you hated my thieving?"
"Let's get this straight. Talya is an assassin, her money comes from murdering people. You stealing her money is seizure of illicit assets."
Feeling immensely gratified, Selina flashed a brilliant smile, tossed the wallet at Bruce, leaned over the table to plant a kiss on his forehead, and then sat to drink her coffee.
But as she kept sipping, her eyes began to shift right. Bruce turned to look.
"Oh, two beauties. Yet our Gotham Phantom has plans for..."
Before Bruce could finish, Selina tossed her bag at him. They both moved to the same side of the table. Bruce glanced at the two passing figures, "Clark and Lex, not surprising. I heard Clark started to stay at Luthor Manor."
"Wait." Selina held up a finger, "You said Talya failed to seduce you, yet chose not to leave Gotham. Do you think she's changed her target?"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you see Lex Luthor's resemblance to you? Both are rich, brilliant, even his grades are better than yours."
"Stop bringing up the grades."
But Selina had already snatched up two cups of coffee and her bag, pulling Bruce to the closest table at top speed.
"I think Lex Luthor is quite the catch," Selina spoke rapidly, "Rich, smart, single."
"You're worried about Talya this much?"
"I am worried about you."
"But I won't..."
"What if you two end up with another Aisha?"
"Your worries are reasonable."
"And Lex's grades are better than yours."
"I said stop bringing that up!"