"Your beauty is absolute, but I admire Wayne's demeanor more," Lex stroked his chin and said, "Especially when he's in his bat suit. Don't you think that outfit is a bit... I don't want to come off as a sex pest, but I think Bruce Wayne had certain attention-grabbing considerations when designing that outfit."
Clark immediately burst into laughter, tilting to the side and couldn't stop. He clamped his hand over his mouth to prevent himself from laughing out loud. He said, "I remember something hilarious, but you have to promise you won't consider it sexual harassment before I can tell you."
Lex looked at Clark quizzically, wondering what else could possibly be revealed about Bruce Wayne.
Clearing his throat and barely containing his laughter, Clark touched his lips with his forefinger and thumb, "I swear I didn't mean to, but I saw him changing."
Lex's eyes bulged out.
"I told you to promise not to draw any conclusions. And it wasn't intentional, super vision, do you understand what super vision is?"
"When?"
"Just before we both went home, he was headed to the rooftop for his patrol. He usually changes on the top floor of Wayne Building, but that time he left a piece of arm armor at his mansion."
"We had planned to take pictures, and I had a date with Lois that night, so I just wanted to get it done and get back quickly. Hence, I flew back to help him retrieve the item. When I returned, he was only halfway through changing."
"The Wayne Building is all glass. I couldn't avoid looking even if I wanted to. But I swear I only looked once, and I didn't tell him, and you can't tell him either."
"What did you see?" Lex was more curious than ever.
Clark held out one hand and said, "You should know, Superman's suit is completely tight with only one layer. I hope you understand the different color around the crotch is just a pattern, not real underwear worn on the outside."
Lex nearly burst out laughing, realizing Clark knew what they were discussing behind closed doors.
"But the bat suit is different. Apart from the cloak, the suit's main body consists of two parts - the underwear and outer armor. I guess Bruce designed the bat suit this way for better protection."
Lex nodded in understanding. He could see what Clark meant, as he also saw the obvious difference between Batman and Superman's outfits. The most notable difference was Batman's belt and boots. Sometimes with arm guards, sometimes without. Occasionally with shoulder guards and knee protection devices, which obviously didn't come up as an afterthought but were factored in from the beginning of the design process.
"I wear skin-tight clothing only out of convenience." Clark shrugged, "There's nothing on this planet capable of penetrating my skin, so Superman's suit is extremely thin. In other words, it mainly serves a decorative purpose."
"But Batman really does need the protection of skin-tight clothing. Hence, his underwear is more conventional, consisting of several layers of fabric with considerable defensive capability."
Then Clark chuckled, he said, "Following the laws of physics, if it's not thin enough, it can't fit well. Just like wearing a shirt, you need something to pull the outer garment straight and smooth."
Lex's eyes gradually widened. Because he very well knew that for most semi-formal occasions, people wore suspenders between their shirt and suit jacket. Some even had arm bands. Apart from holding up the pants, they also kept the inner shirt flat and tidy.
"So Batman wears suspenders underneath his tights. Isn't that bothersome?" Lex furrowed his eyebrows and said, "Tights are meant for ease of movement. Isn't this counter-productive?"
But suddenly it dawned on him. While other Batmen might wear the bat suit for practicality, the Batman of his universe wore it purely for aesthetics, as long as it looked good.
Clark waved his hand, "It's not traditional suspenders, but a strap that goes over the shoulder and back. Made from a special material I don't quite understand. Very thin and clings to the skin. But that's not the point."
Lex perked up his ears. So there are even professionals involved?
"Do you know about jodhpurs?"
"Of course."
Clark stood up and said with his hands extended, "You're aware of the historical period when jodhpurs were skin-tight, right? People found them so comfortable that they even turned them into pajamas."
Nodding, Lex, seated and looking up at him, obviously knew. In fact, high-waisted tights were a staple for men for a long period in western clothing history.
"So Batman is wearing tights inside his tights?" Lex's eyebrows creased more. "Why is that necessary?"
"Not fully tights."
Lex stared at Clark.
Clark waved his hand dramatically, rotated his waist and covered his face, seemingly unsure how to explain it to Lex.
Then, he raised his hands, legs apart, pointed obliquely inwards from the middle of his thigh, and said, "There's no fabric on the inner side here."
Lex is stunned. Among his extensive knowledge, a type of trousers appeared before his eyes.
Western clothing history is fascinating, as most of it is a cycle of practicality overruling decorative intent and then being overruled by practicality again. This has led to the emergence of many bizarre clothes in different historical periods.
In the medieval times, men thought tights were great for riding and hunting, as they made it easier to walk and pick up game. Hence, they turned to a combination of aprons and tights to meet their lower garment needs.
But soon enough, they found it didn't work out. Because the waistband itself was pretty hot and with tights, it was even hotter. As is widely known, long-term exposure to high temperature and poor ventilation can not only lead to infertility but also significantly increase the risk of disease.
So they decided to do some subtraction, taking out the part where the apron and tights overlapped, to make it both visually appealing and airy.
But they still had to ride horses, going bare-assed would chafe, so as long as the front part needed to be protected, that was the portion they removed.
However, they quickly discovered a problem. If the junction of fabric and no fabric was right in the middle of the thigh, the edge of the fabric would chafe the thigh when riding. To avoid chafing certain sensitive areas by moving it up, they decided to lower it a bit instead.
The length of the aprons worn by medieval men was roughly the same, just about the knee or a bit below, so if the removed section exceeded the knee, it would look somewhat unsightly.
So, the final product was devoid of fabric from the crotch to the middle of the thigh, in the entire front to side area.
Although the process was highly scientific and fully showcased the Europeans' balance between aesthetic and practical choices in clothing, the result of their compromise is a different story.
In terms of decency, if you are not Bruce Wayne or Clark Kent, wearing just this could easily slip into sexual harassment territory.
"Really?" Lex couldn't believe it. "What was he thinking? And... how do you even wear that thing?"
"That's what I'm curious about." Clark sat back down, clapped his hands and said, "I didn't see the process, when I saw him he was already fully dressed, and only from the back."
"Hold on, what were we discussing just now?" Lex covered his eyes and rubbed his face, saying, "We were discussing the issue with your suit, why are we gossiping about what Batman wears under his tights?"
"Because you wanted to know, don't you?" Clark turned to look at Lex. "You said Bruce Wayne is handsomer than me, do you know how much this private scoop could sell for? If I got ten pieces of news like this, I could soon buy a neighborhood like yours."
Lex propped his head on his elbow, covering his forehead. He took a deep sigh and admitted that Clark had a point; if he posted this news on any website, women worldwide and at least half of the men would go crazy.
"I believe we should first discuss your suit issue."
Lex tried his best to shove the mental image, conjured by Clark's description, out of his mind. He never thought it could be this difficult.
"I think my suit is fine but if you think it's not, I'm afraid you'll have to come up with a solution because I don't have a second suit."
"Customization is definitely out of question now, but like I said, I think the style is more important. Have you tried wearing something a little more old-school?"
Clark tilted his head a bit, not understanding what old-school meant. His mind wandered back to some British drama scenes before drifting back to the Middle Ages. Clearly, Lex was on the same page as well.
He stood up and said, "We can't stay here any longer, gossip can fry our brains. There are tailor shops all along Green Street, and they also sell some ready-made suits that generally meet Gotham's upper class's aesthetics. We can go check them out."
"Although off-the-rack suits usually have one issue or the other, none of those should be a problem for you. You will surely stun everyone."
Clark also stood up, changed out of his suit, and mentioned as he walked out with his clothes from the cloakroom, "On second thought, his belt might be to hold up his lower tights…"
"But isn't his belt worn over his tights? How could that even… don't freaking talk about this anymore! Let's go!"
Pamela was adjusting the folds at the front of her low-cut dress in front of the bathroom mirror, while Talya had gotten out of bed and sat at the vanity, rummaging through Pamela's makeup.
"You're already using May's skincare products? It's too early for you. Let me see... why is the foundation so light?" Talya kept looking back at Pamela while she was searching.
"Is it possible that we have different skin types? I'm white," Pamela answered without turning around while she was fussing with her clothing.
"A green concealer, seriously?" Talya held up a tube disdainfully with two fingers and said, "What will you turn into? A garden gnome?"
Then she had a sudden realization: "You're doing makeup for your plants?"
A pillow was thrown her way. Talya casually blocked it. Pamela, wearing her silk low-cut dress, walked over: "I've never seen your third dress, what are you planning to wear tonight?"
"As if I was invited! Don't babble, I won't go." Talya brushed her hair back: "I've had enough of this father-son duo. Let them go crazy on their own."
"You have to go, because unfortunately, the professor has had dealings with almost all the celebrities in Gotham. You can't just tell your father you aren't going to such an event because 'you don't feel like it'. Do you want him to know about your failure?"
Talya rolled her eyes slightly but still asked, "How is it that your advice always sounds like a threat?"
She put what she was holding aside and turned around: "Do you think I could find a suitable target at this dinner party?"
"Usually, you will only find more lunatics."
"Crazy like you?"
"As beautiful as me."
"That's enough then."