"Alright, listen up Big Guy, you can't go smashing those honking cars, Hell's Kitchen doesn't have a daytime horn prohibition rule..."
Steve pulled Thor back as he was about to rush off, saying seriously, "Keep this up and you might get arrested, then put in a mental hospital. Knowing the psychiatrists I know, you're in for a bad time."
"Why do you earthlings talk so strangely? I can't understand your accents at all, why do you all insist on talking through your noses? Can't you be more manly?" Thor spoke loudly.
Steve took a deep breath, he'd had enough of Thor. He held Thor's arm with his right hand to stop him from wandering off, then took out his phone with his other hand and dialled Nick.
"Nick, if you insist that I hang out with this guy, could you please get him a translator? We can't communicate at all!"
Indeed, the first problem Thor encountered after coming down from the heavens was his weird accent. Of course, Thor spoke English, but the last time he came to Earth, people in America didn't speak English.
To be precise, the last time he came to Earth, even England didn't speak the type of English that's spoken now.
And so, his language now comprises of Old English words and grammar, with a heavy Asgardian accent.
But the country he's in now is America, a place keen on getting rid of British English.
This led to serious communication difficulties. When Nick initially asked Steve to watch Thor, Steve didn't grasp the severity of the problem. He planned to take Thor for a tour around New York City while he was out for a morning run, to show Thor the place he would be living in.
But, in just these few minutes, Thor was like an energetic husky, wanting to rush over and bite at everything he saw. Steve suspected that this might be Thor's revenge for the punch he landed on him.
Steve stood at the crossroads, one hand on his hip and the other holding Thor, saying helplessly: "If this is your revenge for the punch, then I apologize, but it wasn't really my fault. You should go find a physiotherapist."
"Moreover, it's no excuse for you to bang on windows, move barricades around, or kick paint cans on the streets. If you keep this up, you'll get more than just a punch from me. You'll get a full-on beating!"
Steve tried his best to explain, but Thor didn't understand much.
Steve noticed that his words were falling on deaf ears. Just when he was about to continue his persuasion, his phone rang. It was Doctor Schiller on the line: "Captain, could you come over to the Stark Building? We might need you to do a power test."
After hanging up, Steve immediately dialed another number. He said, "Hello? Is Peter there? Oh, I'm his friend Steve, could you let him pick up the phone?"
"Hey Steve, what's up? I'm eating!" Peter answered, his words slightly muffled as he obviously hadn't finished swallowing his food.
"I was given a task by Nick to chaperone an alien around New York, but something else came up. Could you come and take over for a bit?"
"Showing an alien around?... Really? Where is he from?... That amazing? Oh..." Peter lowered his voice, clearly having family around. He paused for a moment, swallowed what was in his mouth, and said: "You wait, I'll be right there."
Before long, Peter ran over from the other end of the street. He was still wearing his Captain America commemorative T-shirt. When he approached, he pointed at the shield pattern on his chest. Steve smiled at him, patted his shoulder and said, "If you want, I can use the shield to print one for you. Guaranteed 1:1 replica."
"Really?" Peter asked excitedly, then hesitated slightly and said, "But it seems a bit disrespectful. After all, that's a symbol of Captain America's honor."
"It's fine, as long as you complete this task for me, I'll give you one. Plus, I'll even add my personal signature."
Peter was so happy he could jump. He immediately grasped Thor and said, "No worries, I've got this!"
Steve gave him a thumbs up. Watching Peter lead Thor further away, he sighed and felt a bit guilty. He felt like he was lying to a child.
Thor was even less thrilled to be pulled around by Peter. Asgardians value the concept of "might makes right the most." Although he was unhappy with Steve sneaking a punch on him, he admitted that Steve was indeed a strong warrior. But who was this kid? Why did he look as frail as a sprouting vegetable?
A few steps later, Peter suddenly stopped. Thor was taken aback. He examined Peter from head to toe and said, "Are you tired? Shall I carry you?"
Thor's worldview is simple. Besides the belief that "might makes right", there's also the principle of helping the weak. In his eyes, Peter was just a kid and ranked among the weaker ones on Earth who might need his help.
"Tired? No, of course not. It's a bit far from my house to here, but not that bad."
"I just thought of a place to take you to, we..."
"Don't bother with me. That annoying guy finally left. I want to explore on my own!" Before Peter could finish, Thor turned around and walked away. He didn't need a kid to show him the way.
With that said, Thor was about to leave on his own. Peter chased after him yelling, "Hey, wait! My signed T-shirt..."
"Please don't act like this! Don't jaywalk, it's against traffic rules! Wait…don't touch that car, no! Don't kick the door, people will think you're a robber..."
Steve could physically hold Thor back, but all Peter could do was stand in front of him to change his direction.
"I said no, hey, stop! Don't go that way! They're under construction there, no... don't climb over the barrier... there might be..."
"Why do you earthlings treat me like a fool? I am Asgard's prince, of course I know what to do! I…"
"Bang!"
Two minutes later, Peter pulled Thor out of the mud by his feet. He looked at his T-shirt, now dirtied by mud, and commented, "This was a new, genuine souvenir too. It was expensive…"
Thor furiously said, "Can't you humans make your roadblocks bigger? I thought it was just a short wall, hiding someone's yard!"
"Okay, listen. Steve told me you're an alien, so I can excuse you for not understanding common knowledge. And it looks like you don't speak Earth's language very well, so it's reasonable you don't understand what I'm saying. But you could at least interpret my actions, right?"
Peter crossed his arms over his chest and said, "This means 'no-go', implying potential danger. It's a good thing it was only a mud pit this time. If there had been something like an electrical wire underneath, it would have been disastrous. You really need to listen to me!"
Ignoring Peter, Thor walked forward, his arms crossed. Peter followed, and Thor turned to him, saying: "You're just a child. Where are your parents? They let you wander the streets?"
"I finished all my summer homework, so I was allowed to go out. Oh, I didn't tell you. I'm taking you to my favorite video game arcade. I'm sure you'd enjoy it."
"What kind of place is that?"
"It's where people play games. They have lots of arcade machines, and they recently added a new one, which I haven't tried yet. Let's go!"
"Oh, wait a second. I need to make a call to a friend."
Peter took out his phone and said into it: "Pikachu, what are you up to? That's right, meet me at the usual place…"
Five minutes later, Peter showed up at an arcade on the outskirts of Hell's Kitchen, dragging Thor along.
He came to the door but didn't go in. Instead, he walked down a narrow alley next to it. Soon, a yellow figure jumped over the wall and landed in Peter's arms. Peter and Pikachu high-fived and said, "Long time no see! Buddy!"
"Hah, I wonder who was too captivated by his little girlfriend to hang out with his bro for so long!"
"Doctor Shiller was out of town, weren't you helping him out at the shop? I thought you'd be busy. Ok…ok, I'm sorry, please don't shock me!"
Thor was curious about Pikachu and asked, "Is this your pet? Why is it so yellow?"
As he said this and reached out to pet Pikachu, Pikachu electrocuted Thor who let out a yelp of pain. Peter quickly grabbed Pikachu's tail and said, "Stop messing around. You shocked him… oh, I forgot to introduce you, this is my best buddy Pikachu, we are the perfect duo!"
"What was our team name again?" Peter asked Pikachu, who was sitting on his shoulders, crossing his little short arms in disdain, and saying: "How about 'spider and mouse', the twin hazards of the sewer, huh?"
"Definitely not, it stinks too much."
As he watched Peter and Pikachu goofing around, Thor calmed down. He even nostalgically said, "I used to have a pet too, a smart and sprightly hunting dog. But sadly, it died in battle."
"You had a dog?" Peter turned to Thor, "Do aliens keep dogs too?"
"Of course, Asgard isn't far from Earth, many of our habits are similar."
"Then you also… "
"Those noisy cars annoy me. Did you know? In Asgard, anyone who lets their chariots make unnecessary noise would be whipped."
"And those roadblocks, they are not adequate warnings at all. Even a child could climb over it."
"And those who scribble on the walls with strange cans. In Asgard, one who vandalizes the walls like this would be thrown into jail."
"Uh… It would be the same on Earth, too. But that place is a bit chaotic; nobody really manages it."
"If you put it that way, it makes some sense. You said you used to be the prince of Asgard, so it makes sense that you would take charge. But this is Earth, you're not a prince here, you might get hit if you just barge in."
"My father is the ruler of the Nine Major Kingdoms. The kingdom of Midgard is also included, and I am the future ruler of these kingdoms. Of course, I have to take charge."
Peter was about to say something but Thor interrupted, "Where is that fun place you were talking about? I don't think it'll be more interesting than hunting."
"Hunting? Isn't that a medieval thing? Come on, let me show you the amusement facilities of modern times. You're going to love it!"