"Boom! Boom! Boom!"
Spider-Man stood outside the restaurant, knocking on the door and shouting, "Is there anyone here? Can anybody open the door for me?"
Batman, behind the monitor, held his forehead. This was the first time he'd seen someone use the front door and knock when dealing with super-criminals.
After pounding on the door for a while, a mob boss with tattoos all over his face and a scar on his left cheek popped out and shouted, "Who the hell is knocking in broad daylight?! Don't you know this place opens at night? Beat it!"
When the words fell, the mob boss tried to close the door again, but found that it wouldn't budge. Instead, Spider-Man's fist, big as a sandbag, appeared in his line of sight.
With a "thump" of a punch, Spider-Man knocked the mob boss to the ground, then pushed the door open and squeezed himself in.
"Help! Intruder!" The mob boss, holding his broken nose, shouted loudly, "We've got another troublemaker!"
"Rustle rustle", after a moment of chaos, disheveled mobsters with guns rushed out, loading their guns while cursing and shouting, "Who's got a death wish this time? Who dares to cause trouble on Penguin Boss's turf?!"
"How many guys they sent? I'll make sure they die a horrible death!!"
"The boss is doing business with the mayor, anyone messing around at this time, the boss will make sure they're not whole when they die!"
"Excuse me, is the Penguin Boss you're talking about named Cobblepot Oswald?"
A somewhat immature voice came from above the mobsters' heads, and after a faint "swish swish" sound, a spider silk fell in front of them.
The leading mob boss, looking at the spider silk, his eyes bulging, the next second, Spider-Man slid down the silk and knocked him down with a punch.
In an instant, the "whizzing" of bullets flew past their ears, Spider-Man remained calm, using the spider silk to swing gracefully behind a sofa, then rolled behind the bar, rummaging out the boxes of liquor from the cabinets.
With whiskey in one hand and vodka in the other, Spider-Man hurled the bottles like grenades, accurately hitting the mobsters' heads. With a series of "bang bang bang", the sounds of chaos ensued.
The glass liquor bottles shattering against the hard skull, the liquor splashing out, the sparks from the bullets striking metal ignited the alcohol. Suddenly, fire was spreading all over the hall, causing total chaos.
The mobsters, first hit by the bottles and bleeding, came to their senses just to find expensive liquor spilled all over the floor, half of the sofa ablaze, fine wallpaper and soft curtains all afire.
"Put out the fire! Quick! If the restaurant burns down, the boss will kill us!"
"Water's here, everyone get out of the way! Let me put out the fire!"
"Where did that damn kid go? I want to blow his brains out!!!"
Taking advantage of the chaos below, Spider-Man, with all fours on the ceiling of the hall, quietly crawled across the hall like a real spider, and made it to the private rooms.
The Iceberg Restaurant was closed during the day, so there was no one in the private rooms. Spider-Man quickly descended along the wall and swapped the reservations while the restaurant staff were busy handling the confusion outside.
Regular rooms were swapped to small rooms, private rooms to public ones, even menus and phones were left in a state of disarray. After running rampant in the corridor for a while, all the effort put into reservations by the staff over the past few days was rendered pointless.
Thus, about three hours later, when the Iceberg Restaurant was due to officially open, Penguin Man Cobblepot, who was at the mayor's residence smoking cigars and drinking, talking business, received angry phone calls one after another.
"Oswald, what's going on? Why is there someone else in my exclusive room at the Iceberg Restaurant? What's the point of me paying to book your exclusive room then?!"
"Hello? Cobblepot! Really, even if the regular rooms are all booked out, you didn't have to put me in the smallest corner room, did you?! We have twelve people! How can it possibly fit!"
"Oswald, what the hell are you playing at?! I'm in Italy doing business, and you're calling me to ask when I'm going to your restaurant?"
"Cobblepot, why has no one called tonight to confirm my reservation? Are you expecting me to order when I get there? Your business is really slipping!"
The unfairly slandered Penguin Man was a bit bewildered after hanging up the phone, then immediately called his restaurant, furiously asking, "What the hell are you guys doing? Why are the reservations all messed up? Do you realize how many connections this will ruin for me?"
The reservation department staff were also wronged and said over the phone: "We had everything handled properly, but the restaurant staff who were responsible for making the call messed up. We don't know what went wrong either."
"I'm going there right now to throw those daredevils who mess with me into the sea to feed the sharks!"
Penguin Man abruptly said goodbye to the mayor and hurried to his Iceberg Restaurant. As soon as his car arrived, he was left speechless at the sight before him.
What remained of the Iceberg Restaurant was nothing more than an iceberg.
The mob members guarding the restaurant and all the inside staff were bound and hoisted with spider silk on the largest iceberg decoration, surrounded by the charred remains of the burned-out restaurant.
Penguin Man was taken aback. Glancing upwards, he saw a figure standing at the top of the iceberg. He was about to yell 'Batman,' but then noticed that the figure did not wear a cloak.
Suddenly, a shrill siren boomed from behind Penguin Man. Turning around, he saw Chief Gordon of the Gotham Police Department rushing over with force.
"Gordon, what the hell is going on?" Penguin Man bellowed angrily, his fatty cheeks quivering with exasperation. He shouted, "Are you trying to arrest me? What crime have I committed?"
Usually, when asked these questions by Penguin Man, Gordon could only maintain an indignant silence. Despite all his crimes, Penguin Man was either not guilty or well-covered up. The police couldn't find any evidence.
Many considered Batman's presence in Gotham unnecessary. But without Batman and his extralegal tactics, there wouldn't be a single criminal in Gotham – a city of political and business collusion, where every action is technically 'legal'.
But this time, Gordon stepped up to Penguin Man, flashed his credentials, and said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Oswald, when you bought this building for the Iceberg Restaurant, you signed the Gotham Historic Building Preservation Agreement."
"The agreement clearly states that you bear the responsibility of renovation and maintenance, as well as the duty to protect and continue its legacy. So could you explain to me what happened to this fire that destroyed the famous ancient building?"
"I..." Looking like a real penguin, Penguin Man glanced at Gordon, then the burnt-out remains of his restaurant, then back at Gordon, panting heavily and barely able to find his words.
"I'm also a victim!" Penguin Man emphasized, raising his voice: "My restaurant has been burned down! And you want to make things difficult for me? What kind of justice is this?!"
"However, Gotham Police Department received a report just recently which claimed that you did not implement proper fire safety measures in this historic building. Inadequate fire equipment was the cause behind the severity of the fire."
"You violated the 'Gotham Fire Safety Law' and 'New Jersey State Legislature's Historic Building and Renowned Cultural Building Protection and Renovation Act.' Please cooperate with our investigation into this fire, and come with us."
Penguin Man was led away, speechless, handcuffed, and put in a police car. He never dreamt that after committing countless crimes in Gotham, being a force to reckon with in the underworld, overworld and gray world, not even Batman could put him behind bars. The first time he would be legally arrested was for failing a fire safety check?!
Truth be told, the Iceberg Restaurant's fire safety measures were, indeed, lacking. According to New Jersey state laws, it was considered fire safety non-compliance. But in a city like Gotham, who would care if a mob boss running a restaurant was flouting fire safety rules?
Batman had never shown any interest either. So there he was, standing before the screen, somewhat lost, watching Penguin Man being led away by the police.
Sometimes, pre-existing notions and inertia dominate our thinking, and nobody, no matter how smart, is exempt from this.
When most people think about tackling Penguin Man, they immediately think about collecting evidence of him bribing officials, or finding clues of him hiring assassins. And yet Spider-Man took a different approach to it.
Spider-Man took non-compliance in fire safety very seriously. So, when he noticed that mob members were trying to put out the fire not with fire extinguishers, but with hoses from the kitchen, he decided to fan the flames and then phoned Gordon. He reported the fire safety issues at Iceberg Restaurant as an identified source.
In most countries, fire safety non-compliance is not a criminal offense for ordinary buildings, provided that the fire does not result in significant casualties. It usually only leads to compensation.
But the building that Penguin Man bought for his Iceberg Restaurant was among the first buildings constructed when Europeans arrived in the city. According to American laws, it belonged to protected ancient architectures.
Thus, Penguin Man was liable for the damage caused to the building due to his failure to protect and renovate it. Although he might not be criminally prosecuted, he was obliged to cooperate with the police investigation, and it was highly possible that he would have to pay a large sum of money to the federal government. His future lease agreement would also be affected by this.
Watching Penguin Man being led away, Spider-Man casually hopped down from the top of the iceberg, dusted off his hands, gestured a cautionary sign, and commented:
"Cruel are the forces of nature, my friends. Whether you are a regular restaurant owner or a boss of an illegal trade venue, you must remember to install fire extinguishers in your restaurant and never block fire exits!"
"Oh, and we should also learn about the protection of ancient buildings. Here's a secret - I haven't even reported the fact that he hasn't maintained the exterior wall of the ancient building. These erosion marks and paint peeling off are all solid evidence. If sued to the State Court, he could lose a ton of money!"
Batman slapped his forehead in resignation.