Jessica came out of her daze, feeling a coldness on her cheek. She stretched out her hand to wipe away her tears with her sleeve, trying her best to ignore the concerned gazes of the other three.
"Damn it, stop looking at me like I'm a helpless little girl. You damn men, stop treating me like a weakling, don't try to manipulate me anymore!" Jessica yelled, but quickly covered her face, separating her fingers to reveal her eyes, "Don't take it personally, I'm not talking about you guys, but rather that damn Purple Man who tortured me."
"It's alright." Riley gently pulled her into his arms, "You're the victim. Breaking down and crying are all normal reactions, and we totally understand; you don't need to conceal anything."
Jessica looked dazed again, as if recalling something. Quill asked, somewhat intrigued, "Did you see him?"
"Are you referring to that black sun?" Jessica pressed her lips tight, hesitated for a moment and said, "If you're talking about the surreal visions that felt like a dream, then yes, I saw it."
"What did he say?"
"He didn't say anything; it seems like he can't talk." Jessica shook her head, looking perplexed, "But I instinctively felt that I could trust him, so I shared my story with him… about… "
Jessica took a deep breath, apparently still unable to voice out the words, a pain she had once buried in the deepest part of her heart.
"About how I was kidnapped, tortured mentally and physically, and everything else that happened during the apocalypse… I rambled on like a soccer mom praising her kid. God, I'm lucky he can't talk, otherwise how could he tolerate my grumbling?"
Jessica covered her face, chiding herself, "He kind of acted like a traditional confidante, well, that's how I saw it. I hope he is not offended."
"But, I can confide my secrets to a demon god, rather than to my parents, right? Because my goodness or badness has nothing to do with a god. He probably wasn't listening, nor would he care. However, my parents would be devastated if they found out, so I couldn't tell them."
"Didn't you ever try praying to God?" Quill asked, "Isn't it the same principle?"
"Actually, I did try." Jessica swallowed, "During the times he manipulated me, I would occasionally regain my consciousness, but I knew I couldn't move a muscle, so I would cry out in my mind, 'Please, God, rescue me.'"
"But I knew God wouldn't come. If he truly loved me, he would not have let me fall this low. Though I was easily fooled, if I saw an angel descend upon me, even if it was just a figment of my traumatized hallucination, I would tell him everything."
"Perhaps, that black sun was just a god pacifying humanity with illusions. Even if it was, I would gladly accept it because for the first decade or so of my life, no one even had the patience to humor me."
Jessica wiped away her tears with the back of her hand, and said, "Thank you, you've given me a way to vent. Even though talking about it doesn't change anything about the current situation, I may have wasted an opportunity."
"No, Jessica." Riley gazed into her eyes, "The fact that you can let go of your self-destructive mentality is the greatest help to us. You don't realize how strong you actually are."
Jessica clung tightly to the gun in her hand, but Riley just shook his head and said, "You don't need a gun. I told you, use your fists."
"Give it a try, girl." Quill jerked his chin at Jessica, "Throw a punch at his face, or anywhere else for that matter. Then you'll know how strong you truly are."
Riley stood up, flexing his wrists and ankles. He beckoned Jessica over. Jessica still didn't want to put down the gun. But after what felt like an eternity, she threw the gun to the side and started limbering up her wrists.
Jessica took a swing at Riley, not at his face but his chest. She didn't use her full strength, didn't take flight, but Riley was sent flying back nonetheless.
If Riley had retaliated, he probably could have sent Jessica flying too. But since this was about testing her strength, he didn't fight back.
As Riley scrambled to his feet, dusting off the dirt from his body, he coughed hard twice and said, "God, if only you had used your fists earlier, we wouldn't be in this mess. You're much stronger than Kingpin, and you can even fly."
Jessica muttered under her breath, took her seat next to the campfire and said, "Perhaps you're just too light. You should eat more."
"My muscle and bone density are dozens of times that of a normal person. You basically knocked a truck flying with a gentle punch."
"In fact, I've always known I had this strength." Jessica lowered her head, "But please, believe me when I say that I didn't use it before not because I didn't want to, but because of the residual influence of that manipulative asshole in my brain."
"He wanted me to forget my own strength, so I would not resist him. That's why I couldn't muster the strength before. But things are better now. People always say that sharing reduces stress. I think it's true."
"Maybe this is a blessing on another level." Quill rose from the ground, rubbing his sore forehead, "He gave us three truths, comforted you, and even seemed to empathize with you, didn't he?"
"I always feel that we should not make fun of him." Xu Shang-Chi, too, rose to his feet before coming down again on one knee to extinguish the campfire. Riley assisted him at the side.
"I think he wouldn't mind. Interestingly enough, in many faiths, the presence of a god is always so strong." Jessica shook her head, expressing her opinion. She continued, "It's as if these gods desperately want a place in the hearts of their believers. They demand their devotees' faith through various means."
"They endlessly demand their followers perceive God as an otherworldly entity, suppress their selves as much as possible, and sacrifice everything for Him. Those intricate worship ceremonies, verbose prayers, they all aim to annihilate individuality, making people obedient."
"However, I always feel that the Black Sun wants us to focus on ourselves. He wants us to have belief, but to believe in our belief." Jessica opened her mouth as if not knowing how to explain, but she still expressed with a hint of intuition, "He doesn't want to be seen as another superior object, nor does he want to be held in reverence. Instead, he wishes to become part of us, and then we believe in some aspect of ourselves."
"Perhaps I would choose 'alleviation'." Jessica stroked her chest. "If I believe in my ability to soothe my emotions, perhaps I would be stronger. I think this is what he wants to see."
"But I still couldn't understand, what's in it for him?" Jessica knitted her brows in puzzlement, saying as though she was talking to herself, "Would he need our power at some point? Would he come to reap the benefits one day?"
"I think he might be enjoying the process." Quill sighed lightly, "You guys may find it unbelievable, but the thoughts of the Demon God are beyond our comprehension, their perspective of the world is different from ours."
"Lesser beings of intellect weigh the cost and benefit, but maybe superior entities have long abandoned that. They're like silent observers, their purpose is to watch the changes in the world, and the changes in us and everyone else."
"Like cultivation?"
"Like cultivation."
"I think you've portrayed him as too indifferent." Xu Shang-Chi objected. He clenched his fist and coughed lightly, "Didn't you guys feel the emotional ups and downs when he narrated the story of the cosmos?"
"'Emotional ups and downs'? Look at your choice of words. Who else here would use that phrase apart from you? I really can't understand." Quill shrugged and fed the biscuit he'd taken from the shop earlier to Rocket Raccoon.
Riley also looked puzzled, Xu Shang-Chi frowned and said, "Am I the only one who felt that? The Black Sun dislikes the League of Murderers, but it's more of a contempt for them. He dislikes Ma · Will even more, I can sense a hint of his subtle irritation."
"You mean he has human characteristics?" Riley wrinkled her brows and asked.
Xu Shang-Chi nodded, "Certainly. He is not just a Q & A machine or a wishing well. He must have intelligence, emotion, likes and dislikes."
"How come we didn't feel that? Is this your patent?"
Xu Shang-Chi curled his lips,"Anyway, I resonate with him. I used to hear Captain Marvel was a hero."
What Xu Shang-Chi referred to was naturally the film "Captain Marvel." He didn't have a deep impression of the movie, perhaps because he didn't like it when he watched it, but Captain Marvel should be a superhero, rather than a monster that jeopardizes the entire cosmos to satisfy his own urge for destruction.
"Do you think this could be... a hint?" Jessica sensed something more subtle, slightly tilting her head, "Perhaps he does expect some sort of return?"
"Whether this is his expectation, we will have to deal with Ma · Will anyway. If it would make him happy, that would kill two birds with one stone. I just hope he will be happier. Maybe next time when I have troubles, I can treat him as my sounding board." Riley raised an eyebrow.
"So, we would be acolytes of this ancient one then? No tentacles, no tumors or even obtained any great power, just like this?" Jessica asked.
They were all walking towards the exit along the sewer. Riley shook her head and said, "The more subtle the better. Ever since I worked at the Holy Sanctuary, I've become a thorough atheist. You have no idea how foolish, annoying, and challenging to communicate those Demon Gods are."
"If there really were such a god pointing fingers at me, I might not resist punching him. I like it the way it is now."
"We're back to square one. Now that we haven't obtained any great power, how do you plan to deal with Marvel and the League of Murderers?"
"Knowledge and truth are the most powerful strengths." Riley began to speak. "From this story, we know the weaknesses of the League of Murderers."
Riley continued to explain, "First, we know that this crazy contamination can't infect machines, so Riley can manufacture robots to fight them; second, there are survivors on Earth, they should be a group of robots, we can ally with them against the League of Murderers; Third, they are planning to invade other cosmoses, perhaps we can find a way to distract them."
"Prevent them from invading other cosmoses?"
"Let them invade the cosmoses that we want them to invade."
"But no cosmos should be subjected to... "
Xu Shang-Chi suddenly stopped. He stared at Riley wide-eyed as Riley spread her hands open, smiled and said,
"There must be a cosmos that welcomes them... The gift for this quarter's membership hasn't been decided yet."