Alfred spoke in a roundabout way, but Batman had already understood his meaning. He was about to speak, but Alfred said, "I know, at that time, you had many questions and were desperately seeking answers, but I could not let you go down that path."
"If you were learning this ideology because you needed an omnipotent answer, considering it your life-saving straw and genuinely felt that you were saved from it, then, in fact, there is no difference between that and believing in God."
Alfred, with his old pair of eyes, looked at Batman. His tone was filled with deep dilemmas and pain.
"Back then, I could've given you a key for emotional support. But in exchange, you would never be able to use an objective perspective to look at this ideology."
Alfred's tone suddenly became exuberant. He gripped the edge of the rock slab, oblivious of the heat it produced. He asked Batman, "...do you know what 'liberation' means?"
Batman slowly shook his head, and Alfred replied very seriously, "What we're seeking in liberating humanity, in a sense, means giving everyone the autonomy to make all the choices and to choose their wanted answers."
"Like I said before, this is not the Bible. It's not like having all the theories memorized, and then some god will whisper the answers to all your questions in your ear. But if I had given it to you then, you would've had thought that way."
"I couldn't let it become your belief when you were eager to question the entire world because that would imply that you'd never be able to understand the essence of this ideology..."
"The reason it can answer everyone's queries is that it tells you that you, you could answer all of your own questions."
Alfred's words made Batman recall his mental state back then. He barely remembered anything about that time. Everything seemed to have fragmented into shattered pieces, but he did remember that he was relentlessly trying to find an answer to ease his torment.
And back then, the person he trusted the most was Alfred. If Alfred had told him that everything was God's will, he would've believed it, and he might've believed it too if it was Marxism.
But Alfred never told him anything, so now, Batman believed in nothing.
Alfred sighed again and spoke in a slightly guilty tone, "I know if I had given you an answer, it would've made you feel better, but that would have stripped your right to make a choice."
"I thought that way at the time, but now I still feel a bit of regret because the consequences have turned out to be far more severe than I imagined."
Stripping off the identities of master and butler, Alfred seemed to be able to say more. Batman had never heard Alfred speak to him in such a tone. Alfred continued,
"I only considered the future then, but I didn't think about how traumatized you would be at that time, that it could affect your future personality, even potentially impacting your children..." Alfred shook his head, seemingly feeling that there was no better way to handle this matter.
When such an accident befalls a genius, it's inevitable that their fragile emotions, already suppressed by their wisdom, will be crushed. Anything others do would only be closing the stable door after the horse has bolted.
But Batman discerned some other information in this. He looked at Alfred and asked very seriously, "So, do I really have a mental illness?"
Alfred was stunned by his question, then stuttered as he laboriously said, "Well... sort of... Perhaps, one of your mentors, I mean, the exceptionally strict one, had expressed some views on your mental state in front of you?"
"I thought he was swearing at me." Batman said straightforwardly, ".... I'm sure he was swearing at me."
"Why would he swear at you?"
"No reason, whoever he wants to swear at, he would." At this point, Batman paused for a moment, then continued, "He was especially fond of swearing at me."
Alfred flipped over his palm to imply that everything is self-evident. Batman took a deep breath and sighed.
As for whether Batman was aware of his possible physiological mental disorders, he had actually noticed it, but he mistook it as his rational thinking suppressing his emotional thinking, leading to emotional sluggishness.
But now, it seems that his condition is not merely sluggish. Some of his emotional responses are getting weaker, even affecting his empathy.
His reasoning and logic tell him whether the other person is happy or sad, but once he puts himself in the other's shoes, he finds that theoretically, this matter should indeed make the other party happy or sad, but he himself feels nothing.
Which also leads to his erroneous empathy, his judgement of actions could also be biased. Batman thought, this might be why he was always terrible at psychology. He understood the theories, but once it got to the empathetic analysis, everything became a mess.
But speaking of which, does Shiller have a mental illness if he does? They were all mentally ill, so why could Shiller be a psychology expert?
Batman was bewildered, so he planned to ask Shiller. He turned to Alfred and asked, "Where is Professor Shearer now?"
"Ah, after leaving the Central Mine he went to the seventh mountain, which is the closest mountain to that big eyeball." Alfred answered, then continued, "I just organized a demon digging a retreat tunnel to there. When the time comes, we can meet him there."
Hearing that the mountain where Shiller was located was closest to the big eyeball, Batman had a bad feeling, so he immediately called for Merkel and they both went through the tunnel to the cave of the seventh mountain.
As soon as they got to the seventh mountain, they saw the Rotting Heart General standing at the edge of the cave, looking down at Shiller lying on the ground.
He raised his spear high and then pierced Shiller's collarbone. Shiller grunted, and the demons behind the Rotting Heart General laughed and walked ahead.
They took out a giant rusty ring lock, piercing it through the hole the spear had made, locking Shiller's shoulder and collarbone, and dragged Shiller, covered in blood, away from the cave.
Merkel was shocked and called out,
"We must go rescue the Rotting Heart General immediately!!!"
Batman turned to look at him, Merkel hesitated, then hastily covered his mouth as his voice seeped out between his fingers,
"Uh, I mean, we must go rescue... Mr. Shiller immediately!"