We couldn't go through it together.
I smiled back at her.
I felt my breath quicken. Every time I looked at her, I couldn't control myself.
I watched as Asa stormed back in.
"I'll deal with him; you go," Rosalind said as I nodded.
I had to get out of here before I was found out.
I walked outside.
I jumped up, and I started to fly.
Looking around this tragic fucking city, this horrid place.
I soared through the skyline of the city I called home for this life and a few others.
My thoughts were going around and around. I don't know what I am going to do with my life or with my love.
The sun was starting to go down as the orange and yellow sky cast a shadow over the city and the people below. They couldn't see me, but I could see them.
I was worlds away from this whole place.
I can't hurt her. I can't do it.
She's the one I have been looking for this whole time, and I can't scare her off, let alone kill her. I just can't do it.
I know why vampires and humans can't be together now.
Every time I see her, I just want to bite her and suck her dry from all the blood in her body, and then I want to turn her so we can be together forever.
What have I become?
I'm going crazy over a human. She's changing me and making me this way.
I'm so hungry, and the blood in the packages isn't enough. I want her blood. I want her. I need her to stay with me forever.
I watched as the hanging lights over the streets turned on.
She's the one I want to be with for the end of eternity. We will be together forever. I never want her to leave my side, ever.
Without her, I feel empty and alone. With her, I feel complete and hungry.
I'm fighting; it's so hard, and it's making me lose my mind. Lose the control I have over the creature I have become.
The rush of the wind blew against my face, and all I could see was her.
Her hair, her body, her voice, her beauty, her laugh, her smile, her neck. Her neck. Her neck. HER NECK.
I gulped. I couldn't, not to her.
Rosalind. Rosalind. Her name echoed in my mind; she was my salvation; she was my everything.
With every beat of this immortal cold heart, I felt the pull of her, the pull of her blood. With her irresistible charm and her body, I was done for.
She was consuming me.
Could I protect her from this world? The vampires? Could I protect Rosalind from me?
I continued to fly across the vast city, but she was running through my mind, and just couldn't leave.
In the quietness of my mind, every part of her danced in my mind like a shadow weighing heavy on my whole being.
The allure of her veins, her neck, and her blood pulsed in my every thought and movement as I flew.
This was dangerous. This was going to sweep me away from someone I couldn't recognize.
As I looked down at the city below, I felt her in me. I couldn't escape her. Wait, I felt her in me? That's strange.
I felt happy to be with her, but at the same time, it was ruining me. I just don't know what to do.
The city light twinkled below me. I couldn't be with her; it was forbidden. They wouldn't allow it.
But then again, I need her. I need what flowed through her veins. That charm, the nectar, the love. I need her love. I need her.
I circled above the city. I was hungry, and I knew what I had to eat. But I can't do that to her, not now, not ever.
I don't want to do that to her.
I'm an Eclipsian; I can't.
I'm supposed to live in the shadows and be alone in the secrets of the night, away from this whole life and all the people in it.
I rubbed my face as I landed on a roof and sat down.
From the moment I felt myself turning into the vampire my dad had always wanted to be, I knew I was destined for more than just this vampire thing.
The whole blood-sucking, living forever. I was destined for way more than that.
The darkness inside of me runs so deep, and I can't escape it no matter how fast I run or where I hide. I can't escape it.
Among the different vampires, I am a strange creature, even to them. They all look at me like I'm a killer like I'm not one of them.
With all the powers of an ancient vampire, with crazy strength, and so many more things that set me apart from them all,
Tristan is the leader of the vampires; he gave me this title, the title that gives me more power than anyone before me.
To be honest, I don't even know what the word means, but I know it's something with an eclipse or something. I'm going, to be honest, he told me this like 200 years ago, I don't remember what he said.
I mean, I carry the title with pride and whatnot and I am aware of the responsibilities and burdens it has but sometimes it's too much.
The burden is a lot; I just want to live my life and be me, not deal with all this shit. I mean, I want to love Rosalind in peace away from it all, but I can't.
My powers are unparalleled; no one is more powerful than I am.
I move through the daytime and the light with the grace of a phantom or like a bat. My steps sometimes don't leave a single trace.
In the blink of an eye, I can go wherever I like in this world and others. I can disappear into the darkness with the snap of my fingers or just the thought of it.
This world is my domain, and I am its master. I am everyone's master. Even Tristians. He knows that; he's just in denial about it.
I mean, Rosalind is the master of my heart and me at this point because she's making me question my whole existence, and we aren't even dating.
Wait, we aren't even dating?
Maybe I should ask her? Maybe then she will be with me forever, and then I can bite her, turn her, and keep her with me forever-. Jesus, okay, the vampire brain got a little too real there.
I blinked and shook my head, I could fight it. I always did.
This all-powerful extraordinary strength comes with struggles and downright terrible things.
My thirst for blood is more powerful than any vampire before me. It's this insatiable hunger that claws and eats at the edges of my consciousness and my thoughts. It makes my mind go blank, and I can't control a single thing when it happens.
I don't want anyone to die because of me, I hate it, but the price I pay for all of this power I have.
Every time I see her, I have to control this awful fucking urge that runs through my whole being. Everything about her, I can't. I have to fight it. Fight it.
But she is special. I know she is.
Rosalind.
She's the one.
She is the one I love.
She is the one I need.
She can tell when I am lying and when everyone is lying. She is special. She has this ability, and it's going to save me from this.
She can stare into my eyes and read past all of this; she sees my weaknesses and the vulnerability that I hide even from myself.
When she is around, I feel so captivated, like she is pulling me in like a siren, but at the same time, I feel exposed. My secrets lay bare on the table with the one person who can see beyond the mask I put on and the fake life I live.
Rosalind's love and the darkness have become intertwined in me, and these emotions are too much to bear and are making me lose my mind.
The title of eclipsian I have borne for so long is now a curse; the blessing it once was is long gone now. It's a reminder of the awful fucking creature I was born to be.
With the celestial forces to back me up, my power, and everything. I am tied to the shadows of this world.
As I walk on the top of the roof, I am well aware of the choices I need to make that will decide the rest of this eternity I have to live.
It will shape the destiny of both myself and Rosalind. Her heartbeat calls for me in the silent halls of my life.
She is there; she is calling out for me. I will spend my eternity with her.
The sun had gone down completely, and I could hear people still walking, the sound of their feet, and their heartbeats.
It was like they were taunting my every step and my existence.
I'm a danger to them. I am a danger to Rosalind.
Fuck.
The realization had set in and ate away at my brain. I am a danger to the woman I love.
The bitter truth that I couldn't ignore and put in the back of my mind no matter how hard I tried.
I felt my breath quicken as she got back in my mind again.
My chest rose and fell as I looked around me.
My love was turning me into a fucking predator. Every heartbeat, one thump after the other, sounded like hers.
Could I control myself?
I took a step towards the edge of the roof. The city still lived.
It was a maze of lights, shadows, people, walking, running, and talking.
So much was happening, and the same was true of my brain.
My thoughts were like a maze.
I could hear the sounds of people talking, laughing, and yelling, but nothing was louder than her heartbeat and the craving that came with it.
Nothing could save me but her. I was too far gone.
I felt the world start to spin.
"Bitch," I spat.
"Hi sexy, what are you doing on that rooftop?" I rolled my eyes as I looked at Tristan.
He had summoned me.
He lived in this weird underground bunker like he was a hobbit or some shit.
"I can read your mind," he said.
Get blocked. I smiled at him.
"You're a bitch," he said. I have the power to stop people from reading my mind, comes with the price of being so awesome, I guess.
The flickering of candles cast weird shadows on this weird place.
He was my leader.
"For an ageless being, you look old. And you have been alive for so goddamn long, and you live in a basement? Like what? Who are you hiding from? The mafia?" I asked, and Tristan gave me a cold face.
"You aren't funny."
"I think I am; now what do you want?" I asked.
"Painties in a bunch of what?"
"Just tell me."
"Stop starving yourself," he said, and I sighed.
"I'm not," I said, looking down at the ground.
"You are. And you are doing it for this so-called soulmate, huh? You guys aren't even dating, and you are killing yourself for her. Just suck her dry and kill her; you've done it before; one more time won't hurt-."
"No!" I yelled.
Tristan rolled his eyes.
"I'm not killing her, and if you or anyone tries to go after her, I'll kill you," I said, and Tristian stepped back with his hands up.
"Big deal, I can't die."
"I think you can," I said with a smile, and I watched him shiver. Don't step into the kitchen if you can't handle the heat, I guess.
"Mark," he said.
I raised an eyebrow. He was using his authoritative voice.
"You are not just some vampire. You are a fucking Eclipsian. You were a creature born to be alone and in the shadows. You have the strength of 1,000 fucking vampires. You are stronger than everyone. I can't have you losing control again, not now, not ever," Tristian said, putting his hand on my shoulder.
"I can't kill her, Tristian."
"I'm not saying kill her. I'm saying, just go drink someone else's blood."
"It has to be her; it can't not be her," I said, and Tristan sighed.
"Fuck."
"What?" I asked.
"She really is your soulmate. You are always giving me a hard time, you know that?" Tristan said, sitting back down in his chair.
His eyes bore into mine. He knew that I knew the responsibility I had and what I had to uphold.
I had this weight on my shoulder.
I absorbed the information.
I'm too far gone.
"Don't go on another killing spree, or we are fucking locking your ass up again," Tristian said, and I blinked.
"Yo girl might like you in handcuffs, who knows?" Tristan said.
"Go home."
"I am home."
"I was just saying," Tristan added, laughing his ass off.
Crazy bitch.
"I'm out of here," I said.
"Going to see your girl?"
"You know it. I'll see you," I said, and he waved me off as I felt myself push open the doors of the studio.
I saw Asa hugging Rosalind.
I'm not jealous. I'm not a jealous person at all.
Okay, but me and my vampire are different people. Totally. And Bro is getting a little jealous.
I'm jealous, fuck.
"Mark, where have you been?" Rosalind asked, and she quickly walked over to lecture me.
She's so hot.
I need her in my life.
I like her outfit; it's very sexy. Nice leggings. Nice shirt.
"Are you looking at my boobs?"
"No, what?" I asked, and Rosalind looked at me.
Was I? Eh, probably the vampire me.
"Liar," she said, and I blinked.
I watched her in awe as she screamed at me.
Her gaze was strong, and with every word I said, I felt like she would cut right through its lies and everything I was built on.
She saw right through it and made sure lies wouldn't surround us.
It wasn't just a talent or a hunch.
It was a unique gift that she had.
Like some sixth sense or some shit that laid deep and revealed the truth of all of those around us.
From the start, I felt like her ability fascinated me and captured me. I thought it was just her guessing or that I had certain motions when I was lying, but no, she's good.
It sets her apart from the others in the world of fashion and from the whole world itself.
And the fact that she is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.
But as our connection got deeper and deeper, I knew why humans and vampires weren't meant to be.
Every single thing, every word, she could tell if I was lying. I couldn't hide anything from her—not a single thing.
She unraveled me every chance she got, and I was easily destroyed by her.
But at the same time, she's perfect, and I love her with everything.
It wasn't about only avoiding lies; it was about revealing just enough and keeping the darker stuff secret.
I will tell her one day; I just do not know because I feel like that's too much on her and too much on me as well.
She is what vampires have feared for so long, and I should be running as fast as I can away from her, but I am drawn to her.
I want to love her until this eternity is over.
Her reminder of an unfiltered connection and the constant fear of losing it all crept behind me and lurked behind every single corner and in all of the shadows.
Despite all of this, there was this beauty in her and her ability.
In a world of fake things in the industry, her gift has carved out a space for authenticity and raw emotion.
It has kind of forced me to confront my demons and myself.
It forced me to question the motives behind every action I have ever taken.
The complexity of our relationship, honesty, and hiding the truth. This is the love between humans and vampires.
As we were going forward, I couldn't escape the realization that, in Rosalind's eyes, the truth was the only thing in this world that held value because she saw who I really was deep down.
I could do this with her.
I felt myself struggle.
"What's the matter?" Rosalind asked me.
"I can't-."
"I want to help you," she said, reaching out for me, and I pulled back.
The insatiable thirst clawed at my mouth and my brain. I was hungry.
"You can't," I said, backing up.
I'm scared of myself.
I could hear her heartbeat get louder and louder as it drew me closer and closer to her.
She was a human.
I need her.
Her blood and that scent grew stronger and stronger.
It smelled so good, I just wanted to eat her whole.
"Let me help you," she said, getting closer.
"Rosa, please, I'm begging you," I said.
I just needed this wave to pass, and I would be fine.
I had to restrain myself from this desire.
My instincts were overwhelming my thoughts right now.
I was done for.
They were pulling me in.
I felt it stop, and I sighed.
"I'm fine," I reassured her.
"I'm sorry for lying," I said, and she nodded.
I could do this.
It was getting hard to fight it off now.
I am a danger to her.
I am a predator, and she is my prey. I don't want to succumb to the darkness that came with this.
The weight of responsibility presses heavily on me.
I have to fight it for me. I have to fight it for Rosalind. I need to save her from everyone—Tristan, my dad, everyone.
I can protect her from this whole world and everything in it, but I can't protect her from myself.
I feel her heartbeat again. The rhythm of her heartbeat was something I could feel.
I'm losing my control. I hear her.
I smiled at her.
"You look pretty," I said, and Rosalind smiled at me.
She was really pretty.
"What's your phone number?" I asked, and she laughed and handed me her phone.
I swapped numbers with her and smiled.
"We've been talking for so long and have not been texting," she said, laughing as I nodded at her.
I looked down at my phone.
"Mark." Tristan texted.
You are an all-powerful vampire and have the nerve to text me.
"What."
"Protect her," he texted.
"Rosalind?"
"Yes. You must protect Rosalind. Protect her from this world and the shadows of the other vampires, and also from yourself," he texted.
"Okay," I texted back.
I feel like he was anti-Rosalind a couple of minutes ago.
I felt a shiver go down my spine.
Fuck, she was now in my world.
I mean, I was already protecting her from outside threats, like my dad and Asa, but now I have to protect her from other vampires too.
I sighed and closed my eyes.
It is not even about fighting off other enemies; it is about resisting the monster I have become.
It's about not going on another killing spree. It's about protecting the women I love with my life at any cost.
I have to control myself for her.
I looked at my phone as Tristian's messages popped up one after the other.
I need to protect her.
She is the woman I love. Her ability to see right through me—to see right through us all—needs someone to protect her.
Someone whole can be her human boyfriend but at the same time an eclipsian.
"Help me, don't just stand there," Rosalind said, laughing, pulling me to go help her with an upcoming project she had.
She is truly beautiful.
I would save her from this terrible world.
I felt myself stumble as I heard her heart beat louder and louder.
She looked at me, confused.
Her neck, I touched her neck. I could feel the warmth of the blood running through her body. I just wanted to.
I pulled myself back, and I touched my mouth.
"I'm sorry," I said, and I smiled while sitting on her desk.
I don't know how many more rounds of this I could take.
I have to save her from me.
From these terrible fucking urges.
I feel the weight of my power on my shoulders.
I was the strongest vampire this world has ever seen.
I feel the gaze of Tristan and my father lingering on me. All of these expectations were placed on my shoulders.
I must be careful and keep her away from all this danger.
"Are you okay? Your teeth are showing again." Rosalind asked.
"I'll be fine," I said, and she raised an eyebrow.
"I will help you if you need help."
"I don't want you to help."
"Why?"
"I don't want to hurt you, dear,'' I said, smiling at her, and she nodded.
"I'll be here," she said, going back to her notebook.
Fuck. I don't know what I am going to do.
Each moment I see her, I hear her. Each time, it is a struggle.
Her heartbeat got louder and louder as I watched her work on her work.
I touched her neck.
She raised an eyebrow at me.
"Are you sure you are okay?" she asked, looking up at me.
I couldn't handle it if she looked at me. I just couldn't. I covered my mouth with my hand and sighed.
Every thought is urging me toward biting her, turning her, and making her mine.
I'm trying to maintain my control. I'm trying to be the man she knows and loves. I'm trying so hard.
I can't be a human for her.
Fear is overwhelming me. I'm losing myself slowly to the darkness of my identity.
I can't get her blood, her neck, and her heartbeat out of my brain.
She's just so perfect; she runs through my mind all the goddamn time. Now I can't even think straight without her.
The world around me is quiet.
I was going to live forever. I wasn't human. I couldn't be human for me. I couldn't be human for her.
I haven't felt like this in such a long time.
I haven't felt like this ever. She's bringing out a different side of me that I can't recognize.
The lines are blurring. I'm trying to make sense of it all; I don't know what is happening.
My breath quickens.
Fuck.
I can't do this to her or to anyone. I'm changed. I'm not a kid anymore; I can't just kill people when I lose control.
I can't.
Love makes you crazy.
I sat with her, watching her gaze as she looked into her notes on different fashions and drawings.
She can see right through me. See right through us all.
And Tristan, who continues to remind me of who I am and who I am to become.
I have to protect her, as my life depends on it.
Her love cuts through the shadow of my vampire identity, and she's the real me; she cuts right through me and forces me to spill out all of my emotions and every thought I think.
In her, I see the strength that goes above the supernatural, a force that runs through me, and it wants me to fight against the very nature that I am.
It wants me to fight my urges.
The echoes of her name run within me.
She's going to save me from this hell I live in.
Save me from this eternity.
I love her so much.
So much, fucking much.
Her heart continues to beat louder and louder.
It's so different from mine. My undead heart will beat for eternity, never stopping, never starting.
I love her.
She is my fate; she is my destiny; she is my love. I need to fight for her and protect her from me.
Love is so crazy. I have to resist fighting.
"One, why are you so quiet? You usually talk my ear off whenever I try to do something, and two, why are you drooling?" Rosalind asked, and she looked at me.
She looked at me with those beautiful eyes.
Eyes that I know so well.
"I'm just hungry," I said, and she nodded.
"You better not eat me," she joked, looking back down at the paper.
I felt a sad laugh leave my throat.
I hope I won't.
She is my beacon in this darkness.
I need her warm embrace in my life. I need it. I need her. I need her so fucking much.
Destiny brings me closer and closer to her. I'm fucked.
I am in her control for the rest of this eternity.
In my emotions, I have to fight.
All of our moments shared won't be for nothing; I will do everything for her.
She is the one.
She is my one.
I've been waiting for her for so long, and I can't leave her. Not now, not ever.
"We are out for lunch, and you haven't said a word or eaten anything. Are you okay?" Rosalind asked me, and I looked around.
We were at a restaurant that I couldn't recognize, but we both had food in front of us.
I had ordered something. I couldn't tell.
Everything is so blurry, and I feel my world spinning like crazy.
She reached out for my hand, and she held it.
She held it with a warm smile on her face.
She was so gorgeous, that I felt shivers go down my spine.
She was my everything.
I blink twice, four times. Ten times.
The last time. I see her, and we are back at the studio.
But we are outside; she is talking to me; her mouth is moving, but her heartbeat drowns everything out as my world continues to spin.
The sky faded into black, into shadows.
The world started to close in on itself as I felt myself getting closer and closer.
Her heartbeat gets louder and louder, as does her blood.
I could feel it. It tastes good. I could feel it.
The hunger that I have suppressed for so fucking long. Is drowning me out, and I can't swim.
Her. she. I want her.
Her mouth is moving again, and she looks scared.
She is scared. Scared of me.
"Sorry, my love," I felt the words leave my lips, and she continued to talk, but all I could think about was her heart.
I can't find it any longer, my love, and I am sorry.
I back her into the wall.
She can't run.
I can't run.
I am not the man she loves.
I am a terrible, nasty creature who needs her blood, her lifeline, to survive.
It has to be her.
It has to. It has to.
The air stills, and so do I.
I'm sorry, my love.
Forgive me.
Please, I'm sorry.
I can't fight it.
I can't fight it off anymore.
I need you.
I need you.
I want you.
You are my lifeline.
I don't want to.
I do.
I need you.
I'm sorry, my love.
I'm going to drink you dry.
I'm sorry, my love.
It is no longer me.
It is him. I'm sorry, my love.