It's been two months already in high school. I've received various invites from most of the old students into their various school groups. I haven't chosen one yet. Thankfully their meetings are always at different times so I have people to talk to. All the excitement had died down. Everybody is just living their normal lives. I haven't heard of any wild parties yet. Nobody's invited me yet. Is my innocence written all over my face? I don't blame them though. I've been wearing plain tops and jeans. Or boyfriend sweaters and jeans. Attention is the last thing I need right now. Diane is my new best friend. And to be very honest, she's a good best friend.
"It's my birthday," I lie suddenly.
I don't know where that idea came from. Lee walks up to me and hands me a rose. Like he's been meaning to give it to me.
"Thank you," I say and he smiles brightly.
Gabe walks over to my desk.
"Happy birthday, Jessie. Lunch is on me."
"Awn. Thanks."
Peter gives me a knowing look. We know each other's birthdays by heart. He doesn't say anything though.
Betty walks over and whispers. "I know your birthday isn't until next year. So why are you lying?"
"It's my choice., isn't it?" I snap. She's been getting on my nerves lately.
"You're hopeless," she says and turns around. She's about to go when she looks at me again. "Is it to get attention from Jeremy?"
"What?" I ask, surprised.
"He wouldn't look at you, Jessie baby. He's mine." She says 'Jessie baby' in a mocking voice, it makes me want to rip her hair out.
"Fighting with you over a boy is the least thing I would do, Betty baby." I narrow my eyes at her and she walks away like a wounded chicken.
Dante walks in straight to my desk.
"I hear it's your birthday, Jessie."
"Yes, sir."
He hands me a wrapped box.
Jeez.
"Happy birthday, Jessie. Wishing you the best thing the heavens have to offer."
I nod and smile at him.
A few more people give me gifts and I stack them all in my bag. I haven't exactly mastered everyone's names yet. Diane knows them all. They've all been hanging out with the seniors. Whenever they do this, I'm all alone in the class with Dante and a few other guys.
And as for Jeremy, I've seen him only a couple of times through the last two months. He doesn't even look in my direction. I guess he's a lost cause.
On our way to PHE class, we meet a senior walking right in front of us. I know him. His name is Brandon.
Brandon Hall.
I've known him since when he was in Grade 9. I was in Grade 7 then. We never got along. We never even told each other "Hi."
"Should I tell him?" Diane asks.
"Tell him what?"
"That it's your birthday, silly." I want to laugh at the way she's taking the whole thing serious. Even though she knows its fake.
"Of course you can."
Before I finish my statement, she's already calling out for him. It seems like they've gotten along really well.
"Hey Brandon."
"What's up, D?" he asks, turning back to face her properly.
"It's her birthday today."
"Happy birthday, shawty," he says and pinches my cheeks.
I smile at this gesture.
"Thank you."
"So are you going to take part in your PHE class?" I realize that he's talking to me and not Diane.
"Of course I would. It's my birthday. I have to."
During the PHE class, I see him watching how I play. Did he skip his class just to secretly watch me?
Gabe finally buys me lunch. Brandon comes over to our lunch table and gives me a box of chocolates and cookies.
Those must have cost a fortune. Diane is staring at me open-mouthed. Betty scoffs and Danielle looks in disbelieve.
"Here you go, birthday girl."
"Thank you, but I'm taking only one," I say and take the box of chocolates.
He tips a fake hat and walks away.
"Let's go tell him that it's not your birthday yet," Diane says dragging me in Brandon's direction.
But not fast enough for me to miss Betty's statement; "Seems like she's getting more gifts than the people who actually are celebrating their birthdays today."
That's enough for today.
I turn back and throw the box of chocolates in her face. "Have it, Betty."
She opens her mouth to say something but decides to keep shut. We finally get to Brandon's lunch table. He's sitting with his friend Trevor. Trevor is not a nice guy at all. He has never been nice.
"FYI, Brandon, today's not Jessie's birthday."
He smiles and the dimple on his right cheek shows.
"Its fine, you guys can keep it."
Trevor leans in to tell him something and he shakes his head. My subconscious spits at Trevor. Suddenly, I pull out a pen and paper and give it to him.
"Gimme your number."
Where the hell did that courage come from?
He looks up at me in surprise and writes it down. I write mine down and give it to him.
"Thank you," I say, taking the paper, stuffing it in my back pocket, and walking away. If I look at his reaction, I would have come crashing down, thinking I was stupid.
"You've got some nerve, girl." Diane said, obviously impressed. I give her a small smile.
"Brandon gave you his number?" Betty mouths.
"Obviously," I shrug.
I walk home with Diane. She says she might visit Jeremy later on. I tell her I don't care and she says I will. Soon.
"Hi, mom," I say as soon as I spot her at the dining table.
"Hey, baby. How was school today?"
"It was fine, mom. Where is Ricky?"
"He's staying for the after school lesson."
"Good afternoon, ma'am," Diane finally greets.
"How're you, Diane?" My mom gives her a small smile. She's faking it. I know. She's not fine.
"Hey Diane. Wait for me in my room."
"Roger that," she says and heads upstairs.
I walk towards my mom and place my hand on her shoulder.
"What's wrong, mom? Why are you home early?"
She buries her head in her hands. And shakes her head.
"Nothing. I just came home to get some rest and take some Advil. How would we survive if I don't work this hard?"
I can feel the tears stinging the back of my eyes.
"Mom, can't you find something else to do than something as stressful as this?"
She looks up at me and pulls me to her.
"I wish, Jessie. I wish." I know she means to sound as strong as she can. But her voice comes out as a whisper.
I stay in her embrace for a while. Hugging my mom is not something I get to see every day.
"Go upstairs. Your friend is waiting for you. I'll go back to work soon."
I nod and give her a small peck on her forehead. I head upstairs and look at her as I do so. I'm going to cry.
As soon as I open my bedroom door, I see Diane looking at my pictures and running her hands through the wallpaper on the wall.
"I envy you, Jessie."
I scoff.
"Why?"
"Your mom works so hard to keep you and your brother," she says with so much affection, I want to hold her and cry.
"But have practically everything."
She shakes her head a little, making her hair bounce. "I have money. I've never had parental love. I have clothes and shoes. Not love."
"I want to help her, D."
She gives me a small smile. "Maybe you should wait till you grow up. I'm sorry I was eavesdropping though."
I know she heard everything.
"It's okay. I just wish I met you at an earlier time in my life."
"Me too," she says pulling me to herself and keeping me in her embrace. A lot of things would have been different. Come here." She let me cry in her arms for a few hours and pet me all through.
I know when mom goes back to work and Ricky comes back from school. He knocks and puts half of his head through the door.
"Jessie, are you okay?"
I nod.
"Yes, Ricky. Your lunch is in the microwave."
"Okay," he says and heads back downstairs.
"He's caring too," Diane says and pats my hair.
"He just knows when to behave," I say half-jokingly.
"Do you want me to spend the night here? And take care of you at least."
"No, I'll be fine. You wanted to go see your cousin."
"No, he can wait. He would understand."
"Have you guys been talking about me?" I ask and she shakes her head. I can see the lie in her action. I brush it off.
I finally muster the strength to raise my head from Diane's soft thighs. She hands me a tissue and I blow my running nose. I trash it in the bin.
I hug her again. "Thank you, Diane. I don't know what I would do without you in this situation."
"That's okay, Jessie. I'm used to petting people in this situation. I'll always be here for you."
People?
"Who are the people?"
She shakes her head a little. "You don't wanna know."
She finally stands up from the floor we have been sitting for hours. She heads to Ricky's room and stays there for some minutes. Then, I see her out.
Just when I flop on the bed, I feel a piece of paper in my back pocket.
"Brandon." My subconscious tells me.
He's probably expecting me to call him already. I can't bring myself to talk to anyone else. I close my eyes when my phone buzzes.
Hey, it's me. Brandon.