As soon as I went to sleep, a lot of intrusive thoughts came up into my mind.
I was thinking about all the thing that happened recently.
The breakup, the cheating, the fact that I still had friends who loved me despite that…
Every single thought was actually devouring me from the inside.
I kept staying with my head on my pillow, trying to cover my ears to prevent me from hearing my memories.
All I was thinking was Ema.
Despite all my smiles during the day with my friends, Ema returned to my mind and the sound of her name echoing in my mind was enough to shatter my soul from the inside.
"How hard is living going to be from now on?" I whispered , while looking at the emptiness of my room.
I realized once again that I was alone, with no one to keep me company or help me for real.
Yes, I still had my friends , but it was complicated.
I needed lot of time to heal from such a deep wound…
Then, I closed my eyes once again and tried to sleep.
——A night passes and it's morning——
I was sleeping *not* peacefully until I heard the sound of the alarm ringing in my room.
I pretended not to care and I continued to sleep despite its ringing.
"I don't want to go to school today…" that's what I thought before turning the alarm off and changing sleeping position.
Then, after some minutes, I heard a knock at the door.
I didn't reply.
*knock knock* the door knocked again.
I didn't reply again.
*knock knock knock* someone knocked at the door once again.
"Oh god…" I said with a sigh while waking up.
I was still with my pajama on.
I then opened the door , thinking that it was Takibi , who always comes to wake me up when I have to go to school.
"Takibi, I won't go to school tod-" I suddenly stopped, realizing that the person in front of me wasn't Takibi.
My eyes widened in surprise.
"Bonjour, Monsieur Fumihiro~!" A soft and angelic voice spoke with a very cheerful tone.
It was Evangeline.
"E-Evangeline? W-What are you doing here? And how do you know where I live?" I said, still stunned from sleep.
"Mmmh… did you forget that we literally accompanied you here yesterday?" She said while gently poking my cheek with her finger.
"I have a very good memory!!" She added, with a cheerful tone of voice.
"Ah… you're right." I said while scratching the back of my head. "But you didn't answer my question. Why are you here?" I asked.
"Mmm, let's say that I had a strange feeling that you wouldn't come to school, and since you're my tutor, that would be unacceptable. So I came to wake you up personally. Hehe~" she said while putting her hands behind her back and smiling.
I sighed, accepting the fact that I couldn't fight Evangeline's stubbornness.
"What did my mother say about this?" I asked before yawning.
"She was grateful to me." Evangeline said with a smile.
"Oookay…" I replied, while taking a quick peek into my room to see if everything was in order.
But it was a complete mess, so I couldn't make Evangeline enter inside.
"So, you'll come to school, right?" Evangeline asked with a cheerful but deadly tone.
With a sigh, I nodded bitterly, admitting my defeat.
"Yeah… okay… you got me… give me some minutes and I'll come downstairs for breakfast." I said.
Evangeline's smile widened even more and her emerald green eyes were making it even more lovely.
Maybe it was just her, but it seemed like Evangeline had a magic inside her, a strange light that would make everyone feel better.
It's pretty hard to explain in words…
"Good boy. I'll wait you downstairs. I give you 7 minutes." Evangeline said, before closing the door.
I heard the sound of her footsteps walking downstairs.
Then, with an annoyed sigh, I dressed up quickly and grabbed my things for school.
After that, I walked downstairs and found Evangeline happily talking with my mother while Takibi was sitting on her lap.
My little brother never done something like that with Ema, so I was really surprised.
He was joyfully laughing and playing with her while she was gently patting his head.
My mother was also enjoying the scene.
Then, they noticed me.
Evangeline looked at me and then talked.
"Oh! Good morning, Fumihiro-Kun!!" She said.
Takibi then turned his head towards me and ran to me.
"Big bro!!" He said joyfully, while clinging to my leg.
That was his way of hugging me.
"O-oh… you're quite active today, aren't you?" I said while smiling gently and patting his head.
"Hehe~" Takibi laughed softly.
Well, he always treated me like I was his father more than his brother.
Sadly my father passed away before he was born and since then I became the "man" of the house, doing everything i could to help my mother and him, and that should explain why he was so attached to me.
"Good morning, my prince!" My mother said with a lovingly smile while putting the breakfast on the table.
By pure coincidence, she baked some croissants and added some choco milk.
"G-Good morning, mother." I said, while scratching the back of my head.
"Come with us, Fumi." Evangeline said, while adjusting the seat next to her.
I didn't have any choice and so, with a small sigh, I sat next to Evangeline , while Takibi sat on her lap again.
Then, I started to eat breakfast and my mother started to ask some questions about the school and my job as Evangeline's tutor.
I told her that I was personally recommended by Mayumi-Sensei because of my good grades.
"Mmmm, so you've been chosen between 1000? You surely are a special one, aren't you?" My mother asked.
"I think so…" I said, while eating breakfast.
"Well, Arai-Sensei told me that Fumihiro was the best choice they could make, also because our classmates spoke only kind words towards him, and I must say that most of them are true." Evangeline said, with a friendly but cordial tone.
"Oh? "Most of them"? What is he missing?" My mother asked.
"Well, let's say that I expected him to be funnier." Evangeline replied in a playful tone while looking at me.
"Eeeh?! I AM funny!!" I said, with an annoyed tone.
My mother and her both bursted into a playful laugh while staring at me.
I stared at them , confused.
"Eh? Why are you laughing?" I asked.
"Look at your shirt." Evangeline said.
I immediately looked down and noticed that I spilled the choco-milk on my shirt.
"Oh damn… I have to change now…" I said with an annoyed sigh.
"Yes, you should." My mother said.
Then, in one minute I went into my room and rapidly changed my school shirt with a new one and walked downstairs again.
Once I was ready, Evangeline grabbed my arm and clung to it.
My eyes widened a little, not expecting her to be so touchy.
I must admit that there was a little feeling of unease lingering inside me.
I kept thinking about Ema and what she would have done if she saw me like this.
But I also knew that I had to endure since this kind of behavior is pretty normal for Evangeline.
"Thank you for breakfast, Anzu-San! We'll go now!!" Evangeline said with a joyful tone of voice, before walking outside with me.
"Take care!!" My mother said.
"Yes, mother!! See you later!!" I said before waving at her and starting to walk towards the school.
Evangeline was still clinging to my arm and we were looking like a couple , not like a student and her tutor.
She had a wide smile printed all over her face.
…I could also feel the soft sensation of her chest pressing against my arm…
As we kept walking, the sense of unease was still growing inside me.
It was like her touch was bothering me.
The sensation was… unpleasant…
Mostly because I used to walk like this almost every morning with Ema.
So, after some minutes of waking, I gently made a request.
"Evangeline, c-can you separate for me? We look like a couple, people might get the wrong idea" I gently asked.
Evangeline immediately removed her arm from mine and took a step of distance.
She then spoke.
"I knew it. You're not being yourself." She said, with a soft voice.
We stopped walking.
"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.
"Can you tell me what's going on, Fumi? Since yesterday you seems… absent, like you're into another world… and most of all… it looks like you're suffering…" Evangeline asked, with a glimpse of sadness in her voice.
Was it so obvious? I've never been good at hiding things… but that's different when it came to my feelings.
I always smiled, pretending not to be sad.
I even did this a lot of times with Ema, to make her feel at ease.
I never wanted to speak about my problems with anyone… and when Evangeline said the it looked like I was suffering, a strange part of me awakened and it was about to explode.
"I…i…" I couldn't speak.
Words were stuck into my throat.
I knew that I could lie to everyone except this girl, Evangeline.
She saw trough me, trough my veil of lies about my feelings…
She knew me more than I did.
"Fumi, what's wrong?" Evangeline said while gently placing her hand on my shoulder.
"Promise me to never tell anyone what I'm going to tell you, okay?" I said with a sigh.
I was almost on the verge of tears, but they were over.
All the emotions that were locked deep into my soul were unleashed in an instant, and my heart was feeling so many things that I couldn't even explain what was happening.
Evangeline nodded her head.
"I promise." She said with a direct voice.
Then, I took a deep breath and started to talk.
But before that, I took a rapid look at the clock and noticed that it was 7:45.
If I would've talked , we would've been late for school.
"Evangeline, if I start to talk, we're gonna be late for school." I said.
She then smiled warmly.
"It's okay. I have a special permission from school where I can enter later because of special activities. Since you're my tutor, it shouldn't be a problem." She said.
"Oh… are you sure?" I asked , to be sure.
Evangile nodded her head again.
"Yea, don't worry about it. But I think that we should go somewhere more private, don't you think? Like the park near here. It should be empty now." She said.
"Well, okay… I think it's a good idea." I said with a sigh.
"Okay, let's go." Evangeline said with a cheerful tone.
We then began to walk and arrived to the park that she meant.
She was right, it was totally empty.
After that, we sat on a bench and began to talk.
"So? What is happening, Fumi?" She asked again.
I took a deep breath.
"Me and Ema… actually broke up…" I said, with a broken voice.
Evangeline's eyes widened in surprise, not expecting something like that.
"What do you mean by that, Fumi? I thought that the both of you were actually happy!!" She said, with a shocked voice.
"Yeah… I thought that too. But I was wrong." I said.
Without wanting it, my body was trembling , remembering the exact moment when Ema told me about her betrayal.
Evangeline's expression softened, and she gently placed her hand on mine. "Fumi, I'm so sorry... What happened?"
I took another deep breath, feeling the weight of the memories pressing down on me. "She cheated on me, Evangeline. She said to me that nothing happened, but… all of her words were nothing more than lies." My voice cracked, the pain still raw.
Evangeline's eyes widened further, disbelief and sorrow reflecting in them. "Oh, Fumi... that's terrible. No wonder you've been so out of it."
"Yeah," I sighed. "It's been hard to focus on anything else. Every time I close my eyes, I see her... and him. It feels like a nightmare I can't wake up from."
"I… I thought that everything was going well but… it seemed like I was in love with a mask, not with her…" I added , while taking a rapid look at the sky.
I could tell Evangeline a lot of other things like the fact that Ema cut her own arm… that her body was full of cuts… but that would've been too much…
Time to time…
Evangeline squeezed my hand reassuringly.
"You're stronger than you think, Fumi. It's okay to feel hurt. What you went through... it's not easy. But remember, you have people who care about you and who will stand by you." She said with a soft and delicate voice.
I nodded, trying to absorb her words.
"Thanks, Evangeline. It's just... hard to believe that someone I trusted so much could do that to me. It makes me question everything... I thought I could be happy with her… but I was wrong… Why me? What have I done to deserve this?"
She looked at me with earnest eyes full of affection.
"You shouldn't question yourself, Fumi. What Ema did was her choice, and it doesn't define your worth. You are kind, intelligent, and deserving of love and respect." She said, while still squeezing my hand softly.
Her words were like a balm to my wounded heart.
"I guess... I just need time to heal." I said with a sigh.
"And you will," she assured me. "But don't shut yourself off from the world. Lean on your friends. Lean on me. We're here for you."
I managed a small, grateful smile. "Thanks, Evangeline. That means a lot."
She smiled back, her eyes sparkling with warmth.
"Anytime, Fumi. Now, how about we get to school? We'll be fashionably late, but who cares?"
I chuckled for the first time in what felt like ages. "Yeah, let's go."
Speaking with Evangeline seemed like removing a big weight from my shoulders.
My body felt much lighter and I was a little bit better.
As we walked towards the school, I couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope.
Maybe, just maybe, things would get better.
And with friends like Evangeline by my side, I knew I wouldn't have to face it alone.
I knew that I wasn't alone… I knew it… but… without Ema I felt like being lost.