Tian finally got the water temperature just right and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water cascade over him like a gentle rain.
He giggled, spinning under the spray with pure delight. "Ah, humans do have their perks," he sighed, glancing down at the little piglet by his feet. "Hey there, Bacon. Feels good, huh?"
Hua Lang closed his eyes, letting out a contented grunt as the warm water trickled over him.
If he was being honest, he'd missed baths. Rolling around in mud and sleeping on hard ground had left him feeling like a dusty ball of pig-shaped grime.
"Well, I guess that awful sight was worth it," he thought, peeking begrudgingly at the fully exposed angel beside him. "But why… why must I be tortured with the sight of a naked man? And his… his… well, there it is." He squinted, trying to look anywhere but directly at Tian's dangling anatomy, which seemed to be moving a bit too freely for his comfort.
Tian beamed, oblivious to Hua Lang's inner turmoil. "Ohhh, looks like you're loving this too, huh?" he grinned, reaching for a bar of soap. "Wait, I'll give you a scrub, little buddy."
To his surprise, Hua Lang was, in fact, totally into it. He flopped flat onto the shower floor, making it easier for Tian to reach his back. "Who knew back rubs felt this good?" he thought dreamily, his tail flicking happily. He recalled hearing rumors of people paying to have others scrub them down in those communal baths—and he'd been totally disgusted at the idea back then. But now? Maybe there was something to it.
"Yeah, the second I turn human again, I'm booking a group sauna and getting one of those full-body scrubs," he thought, eyes half-closed in bliss.
But then, without warning, a hand ventured a little further south.
"SQEEEEEEEEAL!" Hua Lang shrieked, scrambling across the shower tiles in pure horror. "Did he just touch me… down there?!" His tiny heart raced as he stared at Tian, wide-eyed. "This perverted angel just touched my… my piggy penis!"
Tian, unfazed, chased after him and scooped him up effortlessly, clicking his tongue. "Hey, hey, what's with all the fuss? You've got to get everything clean." He leaned in, all too serious. "Even your little… you know… pig parts."
"No! I! Do! Not!" Hua Lang squealed at the top of his lungs, his eyes narrowed in the fiercest glare he could muster, which only seemed to amuse Tian more.
The angel paused, squinting. "Whoa… are you… glaring at me?" He tilted his head, smirking. "Aww, you are! So fierce for a little guy!" He reached down and gave Hua Lang's nose a playful pinch. "Alright, alright, one last wash and we're done. No more squealing."
And just when Hua Lang thought it couldn't get worse, Tian's eyes wandered a bit too far south again, making the angel pause. "Hmm, piglets have such tiny penises… I guess they grow as you age?"
Hua Lang's eyes went wide. If a pig could look insulted, he was absolutely nailing it. "Tiny?! I have it big!" His outraged squeals echoed through the bathroom as Tian, oblivious to the piglet's fury, continued the "cleaning."
By the end of the ordeal, Hua Lang stumbled out of the bathroom, fur matted, pink as a peeled shrimp, and traumatized beyond words. He slumped onto the bathroom floor, shivering. "I… I hate baths," he thought miserably. "Somebody just… put me out of my misery."
Lu Chen walked into the bathroom with a bright smile. "Ready to go?"
"Oh, yeah! I'm all done!" Tian chirped, practically bouncing as he held up a very disgruntled, soggy piglet. "Look at Bacon! He's sparkly clean!"
Lu Chen's gaze fell on Hua Lang, who was looking thoroughly over-washed, with patches of fur visibly thinned from Tian's… enthusiastic scrubbing. The piglet's fur stood out at odd angles, and his eyes had a traumatized, thousand-yard stare. Fighting back a laugh, Lu Chen nodded with a trembling smile. "Yeah… he looks, uh, great. Come on, let's get out of here."
Tian, still beaming with pride, trotted happily after Lu Chen. "Did you see that? I didn't know piglets could get that clean. He's almost, like, glowy!"
Hua Lang, swinging slightly in Tian's arms, let out a small, defeated grunt. "Glowy? I've been through war, and all you've got to say is 'glowy'?!" He sighed, wishing for nothing more than a mud puddle and a good long nap.
As they walked down the hall, Tian leaned in, grinning. "You know, I bet he smells nice too. I used the fancy soap."
Lu Chen blinked, holding back a laugh. "Fancy soap?"
"Yeah, that bar of soap in the laundry room! I mean, it smelled kinda strong, but clean, you know?"
Lu Chen's face froze for a second, and he stifled a snort. "Uh… Tian… that's… that's the soap for clothes. You just washed him with laundry detergent."
Tian's eyes widened in horror. "Wait… what?! But… that explains why it was so… bubbly…"
Hua Lang let out a long, pitiful squeal. "You SOAPED ME with CLOTHES SOAP?!" He wriggled furiously in Tian's arms, his skin prickling from the overly harsh "cleaning."
"Well, look on the bright side, Bacon!" Tian said, attempting damage control. "You're, uh, extra clean! Probably cleaner than any pig has ever been!"
Lu Chen burst out laughing. "He'll smell like fresh linen for weeks!"
Tian, still horrified, muttered, "Oh… Bacon… I'm so sorry. I thought I was pampering you…"
"Pampering?!" Hua Lang snorted, shoving his snout into Tian's arm in protest. "I'm practically marinating in bleach over here!"
Lu Chen chuckled, patting Hua Lang's head. "On the plus side, you're now the only pig on the block who's both squeaky clean and wrinkle-free!"