Till now Sundara Cholar had been talking as if he was talking about a third person. Now he began to tell the history of his own life:—
"O my dear daughter! Today I will tell you something that a father should not normally say to his daughter. I will tell you something I have never opened my heart to anyone before. My friend Aniruthan is the only one in the world who knows this; He doesn't know the whole thing. He doesn't know what is going on in my mind right now. But Im going to tell you everything. Someone in our family must know. You can't tell your mother. Ive been meaning to tell you for some time. The opportunity for that came today. You will not laugh at my condition; You will try to heal the wound in my heart; You will help me to fulfill my wish! – I tell you with this confidence...
"I boarded a boat from that island and reached Kodikarai. I came straight here knowing that my grandfather Paranthaka Chakravarthy was staying in this Thanjai palace at that time.
"When I reached Thanjai, emperor Paranthaka was facing death. His heart was broken. The empire he had built up over a period of forty years was falling apart. His successor, Rajaditya, died in the battle of Takkolam. My father, Arinjaya, who had been badly wounded in the same battlefield, was in a state of uncertainty whether he would survive or not. The armies of Kannara Deva captured Thondaimandalam and were advancing. The Pandyas were gaining ground in the south. The Chola army in Lanka was defeated and returned. Many brave warriors of Chola Nadu have lost their lives in many battlefields. All these news came together and hurt the heart of the old emperor Paranthaka and plunged him into a sea of sorrow. His face lit up when he saw me in this state. My grandfather has been very fond of me since I was a child. He did not send me anywhere and kept me with him in the palace for a long time. I took leave of him stubbornly and went to Eezha Nadu. My grandfather was heartbroken when he found out that I was not among those who returned. He did not know that I was dead, so he sent people in droves to look for me.
"Eventually a crowd found me. When I reached Thanjai, his wounded heart felt a little better. Somehow there was a hope in his mind that the declining Chola empire in his last days would be uplifted again because of me. Astrologers had nurtured that belief. Accordingly, though he had four sons, I was the only grandson in his lifetime. When the emperor was dying, he called me to his side and sniffed and burst into tears. 'Uncle! After me, your uncle Kandarathitthan will ascend the throne. After him, this Chola kingdom will reach you. It is only during your time that this Chola tribe is going to be prosperous again,' he said several times.
"He said that my life's goal should be to establish the greatness of Chola Nadu and got me to promise to do so...
"I was as devoted to him as my grandfather was to me. So I resolved to carry out his orders diligently. But there is no peace in my heart. What about the daughter of the Karaiyar tribe who saved me from being eaten by a bear on an island surrounded by the sea? Can a dumb girl born in the lower caste sit as a queen on the throne of Chola Nadu? Would palace life suit her? Wont the folk laugh at me?... These thoughts came often and troubled me. Not only this, my uncle Kandarathithar had just got married for the second time. You know that the fortunate woman who married him was the daughter of the Mazhavaraiyar tribe. If the first wife has no child, what is the certainty that the second wife will not have a child? If my uncle gives birth to a male child, how will the kingdom come to me? I heard some people in the kingdom talking about this just then. But my great father, the Mahatma, did not want such suspicion to arise to anyone. After the death of emperor Paranthaka, the coronation of Kandarathithar took place. At the same time, my uncle – the new emperor – has arranged for me to be crowned princely.
"My dear daughter! The people of this country were as fond of me as they are today for your brother Arulmozhi. While the coronation ceremony was going on inside the palace, thousands of people were eagerly waiting outside. Everyone wanted the newly crowned emperor and the crown prince to appear to the people together. Uncle and I came to the balcony of the palace. It was a sea of people below. The faces of all of them were beaming. When they saw us, they all cheered and cheered. So many thousands of people are happy that we have been crowned princes, so why should we worry about a dumb girl living in the middle of a forest on an unseen island somewhere? Is the happiness of so many people important? Is the life of just one dumb girl important?...
"Thinking like this, I looked at the smiling faces one by one looking up at us. Among the people stood men and women, old and young, children and girls. Everyone was in the same state of excitement. But suddenly I saw a face, a womans face, a sad face, looking at me piteously with tearful eyes. I don't know how that one face, in the midst of so many people, caught my eye and attention. Then my eyes did not move from there; There was no attention. The face grew larger and larger; It was like approaching me. Finally that huge crowd disappeared, all those who stood near me disappeared, the sacred gate disappeared, the fortress ramparts of Thanjai city disappeared, the sky and earth disappeared and that one face appeared before my eyes like the universal form of Devi Parameswari. My head was spinning; His legs were weak; Lost memory...
"I came to know later that I had fainted and was held up by the neighbours. Others thought I was too tired of the coronation ceremonies. I was taken into the palace as if it was enough to show me to the people. Later, when I regained consciousness, I called my friend Aniruthan aside and told him what I had seen. I gave her the identity of the dumb girl and ordered her to be found somehow and brought back. Aniruthan searched every nook and corner of Thanjai city and said that there was no such dumb girl. It must be an illusion of my heart. I got angry with him and said, "If you don't even help me, then what kind of friend are you?" I told him to send someone to search the roads leading to the beach outside the Thanjai fortress. So people went all the way. They went up to the beach and searched. Those who went to Kodikarai found that there was a dumb girl in the house of the lighthouse keeper there. She looked insane. It was in vain that he tried to convey the matter to her with all sorts of platitudes. She flatly refused to accompany them to Thanjai. As soon as they brought this news, I was distraught and did not know what to do. I was in that state for two days. I tried to forget her, but I couldn't. It was the same memory day and night. I could not sleep a moment at night. Then I left for Kodikarai with Aniruthan. I drove the horses as fast as I could. As I went, my anxiety increased. If I found that dumb girl there, what would I do with her then, I was confused. Should I take her to Thanjai or Pazhaiyarai and say, 'She is my queen!' When I thought of it, my mind and body went down.
"My dear daughter! In those days I had an undesirable celebrity that I was unrivalled in beauty. I don't think of it as a compliment. Others, however, continued to talk about it. Though I had the name 'Paranthakan' after my grandfather, they made it disappear completely and popularized the name 'Sundara Cholan'. How could I, so praised by all, take a dumb girl to the palace who did not know what civilization was? If not, what to do with her – I reached Kodikarai with a confused mind. The Maharaji has made me feel no trouble. What I learned there stunned me. The day after the men we had sent returned, the woman climbed to the top of the lighthouse. It was the new moon; The wind blew hard. The sea rose and engulfed the lighthouse. The woman stood for a while looking at the turbulent sea. No one paid any attention to her, for she often stood like that. Suddenly, there was a sound of 'weel' over the roar of the waves. Then I see her! One or two people saw a female figure fall headlong into the sea from the lamp. Boats were brought in and searched as much as possible, but to no avail. It had to be decided that the raging sea had swallowed the girl.
"When I heard this news, I felt pain and anguish in my chest like the stabbing of a spear. But after a while there was a certain silence. There was no longer a question of what to do with her. There is no need to confuse your mind by thinking about it...
"I returned to Thanjai with this strange mixture of sorrow and peace. I concentrated on the affairs of the kingdom. I went to the battlefields. I married your mother. I begot brave sons. I had the privilege of having you as my daughter...
"But, daughter! I could not quite forget the dead sinner. Sometimes, in my dreams, that terrible scene—a sight I had not seen—would appear and torment me. In my dreams and imagination I pictured a female figure leaping upside down from the top of the lighthouse and falling into the sea. Whenever I saw that horrible scene in my dreams, I would wake up screaming. The people lying next to me were like, 'What? What?" they ask. Your mother has asked you many times. But I didn't tell the truth. Sometimes I say, "Nothing." Or I would imagine battlefield horrors. Gradually, by the grace of Kaladeva, that terrible scene left my mind; She, too, faded from my memory; Until recently, I thought I was gone. But the dead seem to be more cruel than the living. Daughter! The spirit of dumbness has not left me. It has been reappearing for some time and has begun to torment me! My daughter! Do you believe that the dead will come back?"
Saying this, Sundara Cholar turned his gaze somewhere far away and stared. There was nothing in the direction he looked! Yet Kundavai saw that his body was trembling. She had infinite compassion for him. Tears welled up in her eyes. She pressed her face to her father's chest and burst into tears. His trembling seemed to subside. Then he looked up at his father and said, "Father! You have suffered for many years keeping this terrible pain in your heart. That's why your body has deteriorated. You've told me now, haven't you? Your health will be all right from now on."
Why was the sound of Sundara Cholar's laughter mixed with sadness and disbelief? He said:
"Kundavai! You don't believe it. You don't believe the dead will come back. But there beside the pillar; Behind the lamp, the sinner's spirit stood at midnight yesterday. I saw it with my own eyes. How could you not believe it? If what I saw was just a hallucination, what would you say about your friend? She had seen and heard something and had lost consciousness herself! Bring her, Kundavai! I will ask myself and find out!" said Sundara Cholar excitedly.
"Daddy! Vanathi is a timid girl! How she was born in the Kodumbalur Veeravelir tribe is not known. Even if she saw the pillar in the dark, she would scream and faint. There was no use in asking her. She wouldn't have seen anything; She wouldn't have asked."
"What do you mean? If she goes, let her go. Listen to the rest of what I have to say! For a long time I did not believe that the dead would come back. I too thought that such an appearance was a vain delusion. Don't you remember how baby Arulmozhivarman suddenly disappeared while we were all sailing in a boat in the river Kaveri? While we were all stunned and stunned, a woman queen picked up a child from the flood waters of Ponni river and gave it to her. She disappeared as soon as the others took the baby. We have talked about this many times. You can't have forgotten. All of you concluded that it was Kaveri Amman who saved the child. But do you know what I saw? It seemed that the young woman – dumb – had taken the child. Do you remember that I was unconscious that day too? Everyone thought I had lost consciousness because of the danger to the child. But that's not the truth. Ill tell you after all this time. I fainted because it seemed to me that the female figure who gave birth to the child was her ghost form...
"Daughter! Do you remember the day your brother was crowned prince? Didn't Athitha Karikalan come to the anthapuram after the coronation ceremony to seek blessings from the mothers? I came after him. I saw the same dumb woman standing there among the women and staring cruelly at Karikalan. Once again I lost consciousness. Thinking back, I began to doubt the incident. I wondered what was the need for her to look at Karikalan so cruelly. I thought it might be a paranoia of my own paranoia. But, daughter! After coming to Thanjai this time, all those doubts were solved. Once upon a time, when she was alive, I would look at her face and know what was in her mind; Ill see her lips move and know what she wants to say! I have regained that power, Kundavai! Four or five times she appeared before me in the middle of the night and warned me.
"You killed me! I forgive that. But do not sin again! Don't give the kingdom that belongs to one person to another!' I knew as clearly as I would if she had the power to speak with her mouth. Daughter! You must help me to carry it out. I don't want this cursed kingdom – this Chola throne – for my sons! Let's give this to Mathuranthakan..."
Kundavai interrupted and said, "Father! What do you mean? What is the need to change what has been agreed upon by the whole country? Even if you change, will the world agree?"
"What if the world agrees, what if it doesn't? It is my duty to know what dharma is. When I was crowned prince and then emperor of this Chola kingdom, my mind was not at peace. My conscience troubled me. It is not proper that I, the son of the youngest, should have succeeded the throne while the eldest sons son was alive. Today I am reaping the fruits of that sin. Why should my sons also be subjected to such a sin? Aditya does not want this kingdom; Don't cry for grace. Don't have the curse that comes with this kingdom. While I am alive, I should crown Mathuranthakan. After that I will go to the golden palace built by Athithan in Kanchi and live in peace ..."
"Daddy! Shouldn't the elder stateswoman agree to this?"
"Daughter! Thats why I ask your help, make my aunt come here on any pretext. Aha! Why did that old woman, who knew so much, not know this moral justice? Why did he make me commit this sin? Or is he angry with his own child? Why was he so obstinate about this unnatural thing of his mother? When Mathuranthakan was saying that he was going to become a sannyasi by engaging in some Shiva bhakti, there was justification for that. Now when he himself has the desire to rule the kingdom, how can he crown someone else!"
"Daddy! There may be a desire to rule the kingdom; Shouldn't it be worth it?"
"Why not qualify? How can the son born to the great Kandarathithar and the daughter of the great sage Mazhavaraya be unworthy?"
"Let there be merit; Shouldn't the inhabitants of the kingdom agree to that?"
"If you ask the opinion of the citizens, they will say that your brother should be crowned immediately. Is that fair? Will Arulmozhi agree with that?... Thats a futile idea, my daughter. Somehow get your great grandmother to come here early! Write that I am struggling with Yama; If you want to see me alive, send word to leave immediately..."
"It's not necessary, father! The elder stateswoman has a desire to renovate the Thanjavur Thalikulathtar temple. I will write to you to come at this time. Until then, please be patient, father!"
Saying this, Kundavai said goodbye to her father and went to her place. On the way, Mother met Vanamadevi. "Mother! Dont leave my father for a moment again! Let the others go and do the poojas that need to be done!"
The doubts that had been brewing in Kundavai's mind for some time were now beginning to get some clarity. There was some light in the dark places. Her intellect told her that some terrible magic was going on against her father and brothers. But she could not fully understand what a trick it was, how it worked. She realized that the Chola Empire and the right of her brothers to that kingdom were in grave danger. She also believed that the responsibility of protecting them from that danger rested on her, as a woman.