Happy Birthday... to me
It was Christmas, the only day of the year when my entire family gathered to celebrate another year of life and happiness. Despite money problems, we always ate well, and the gift exchanges were never skipped.
Right now, seated among everyone at the table, I turn 20. I have my grandmother in front of me, serving another cup of hot chocolate and a third plate of chicken. I just accept and eat. I never learned to say no. Overall.
However, it wasn't a problem. Did they want to celebrate Christmas and postpone my birthday? Sure, no problem. Did they need me to go to another city to bring them chicken when I have an exam the next day? Gladly.
Did they want me to work as an accountant to bring money home? Delighted. That's how I live my life, under the guidance of my kind parents who do their best to give me a good education and provide for our daily bread. If I only had to stick to what they wanted me to do, then life wouldn't be complicated. As long as I follow them and they're happy, then I can enjoy my life without worries. They are the most precious thing to me.
................
Could we pass on our debts to you starting next year?
................ Yes.
Life was that simple. And fortunately, I consider myself happy.
"Five minutes to midnight, let's all go see the fireworks!"
Everyone got up from the table, leaving plates with chicken and bread scraps. Excited, I got up too.
"Oh, Emma, could you wash the dishes, please?" more of an order than a question.
"Three minutes! Are we all outside yet?" one of my uncles would ask, while my mother exited the house, nodding.
Christmas would end soon, just like my birthday. Unlike the latter, Christmas was the only time my family didn't argue over my grandmother's property or bother visiting each other.
They all hid their true emotions so well, acting so naturally and happily in front of the landowner.
It was all an act. And in about three minutes, the show would be over.
And by the time that happens, I won't even be able to be out there to bid farewell to the only celebration I cherish.
...
"Emma."
My grandmother's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, bringing with it a box wrapped in tissue paper adorned with festive balloon drawings and a light blue ribbon. She trembled, making an effort to lift it despite her weak arms.
Immediately, I left all the dishes aside to help her and receive the object. I looked at it curiously, about to ask if she wanted me to give it to someone, when she weakly opened her eyelids and smiled at me, after a long time to any family member.
"Happy birthday."
"A-Ah..."
I felt my face quickly turning red, with tears threatening to escape. But I had to avoid it; I was too old to cry. But the more I held it back, the more my chest began to ache.
My grandmother put her hand on my cheek and leaned in to hug me, weakly reaching out.
"You've grown so much... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry I didn't realize sooner..."
"G-Grandma... n-no, it's okay. Really..."
I wiped away the tears in an attempt not to see her sad, and gave her a gentle smile and a hug, then watched her step back with open arms.
"Two minutes!"
"Open it. I'm sure it will help you... even when I'm not here."
"D-Don't say things like that, Grandma... I'll do my best to earn money as soon as possible as my parents promised you, so please..." her words hit me hard. Holding back tears became more difficult.
I wanted to cry.
My grandmother, on the other hand, smiled tenderly at me, pointing to the gift.
"Open it."
I stayed silent for a moment and nodded.
The first thing I noticed was that the box had several holes made with a pencil where air flowed inside. The weight wasn't concentrated in one place, as if something was moving inside.
Something warm... that transmitted a calmness into my hands.
I carefully removed the tissue paper, in case I needed to reuse it, and opened the box.
"Woof!"
Instantly, a puppy leaped towards me, knocking the box to the ground with great force, falling into my arms as I took a step back in surprise. It started licking my hand immediately, brimming with energy and joy.
I held it carefully and looked back at my grandmother, who had headed to hold the door of the house.
"Let's take everyone outside together. Including the new one joining us today. If your parents don't want to keep it, they'll have to deal with me. So, from today, take good care of it, understood?"
The puppy wagged its tail with joy, looking into my eyes with overwhelming affection.
I swallowed hard, looking at my grandmother in shock, while biting my lower lip to avoid crying.
"Y-Yes."
"Countdown! 10! 9!"
Hearing my father count down while setting off fireworks on the street, I hurried outside with the puppy in my arms alongside my grandmother.
Outside, the sky was adorned with hundreds of stars. It was a unique sight, too beautiful.
I stayed close to my grandmother to avoid my mother seeing me and sending me back home. And as the final seconds arrived, I felt a tickle on my cheek.
The puppy's tail brushed my face after jumping into the street, excited to see so many people gathered.
Had it not been for the darkness of the backyard, the puppy would have stopped earlier, but it reached the highway, barking excitedly.
And in a blinding light, I let go of my grandmother, instinctively running towards the car, noticing everyone's gaze falling upon me.
"Zero!"
Fireworks began to crackle in the sky, and a loud honk erupted in a strong noise after the sound of a weak body colliding.
Just inches away from being able to save it, a hand grabbed me tightly by the arm, preventing me from advancing towards the puppy lying on the ground.
With a pale face, my mother held me firmly, stopping me from going into the street.
At that moment, I had conflicting emotions for the first time, while my gaze didn't leave the puppy bleeding on the ground.
An uncle, a veterinarian very close to me, did his best to rescue the little dog as he took it to the vet, leaving the whole family in shock.
The scare was such that, without realizing it, my grandmother had collapsed to the ground, struggling for breath.
...
That Christmas marked the final point of our family bond. After the fateful incident, my parents made the decision to distance themselves, leaving me with the debts we had previously agreed upon in a video and a contract.
I found myself in overwhelming loneliness, dealing with financial responsibilities and an emotional void impossible to fill. Illness became my only companion, weaving thoughts of despair and a distressing desire to disappear.
"..."
Everyone distanced themselves, even my new puppy, who miraculously recovered at the vet. I imagined his days brimming with vitality when I held him for the first time, happily jumping into my lap at the end of the day, playing and exploring every corner of the house by my side. However, after the accident, his energy dwindled, and his connection with me faded restricting itself to the essentials before disappearing into some lonely corner.
A year passed.
Plunged into isolation, clinging to a virtual job, I immersed myself in the abyss of hikikomori.