Hello everyone, I am the author of this novel. First of all, know that this is my first attempt in this genre, and I am open to any criticism to improve my book. I have no experience in writing, but after devouring dozens of novels and having a head full of ideas, I felt the desire to embark on this adventure.
Feel free to share your comments and suggestions.
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A young boy, around ten years old, was running through the dark streets of a medieval-looking city. The sun was setting on the horizon, and darkness was slowly creeping over the town. In his hands, a pouch jingled to the rapid beat of his steps, revealing the recently acquired loot. Behind him, shouts and curses could be heard. The boy had long chestnut hair and piercing sky-blue eyes that reflected intelligence and mischievousness. Despite his age, he stood at 150 cm, with an athletic body that belied his youth.
Two men resembling guards were chasing him. They wielded swords in their hands and wore armor that slowed their pace, preventing them from catching up with the fleeing boy. The cries of the two men echoed as they saw the boy turn the corner of an alley. When they reached the alley's corner, a rope suddenly stretched across their path, causing them to fall face-first onto the dirty and muddy ground. Laughter erupted as two other children of the same age fled in the same direction as the one pursued by the guards. Helpless, the guards could only watch as the children turned the next street corner and disappeared.
"Blimey!" exclaimed one guard, who had just managed to get up while the children were already out of sight. "We're done for; the boss will have our heads if we don't bring back his money!"
The other guard sighed, realizing the inevitability of failure. "I know, but it's too late anyway. They're long gone, and we'll never catch them in this part of the city."
The part of the city where the guards found themselves was known for its maze of narrow streets and countless turns. Only those who lived in that neighborhood could navigate it without getting lost. They decided to give up, as they would never find the children once they were out of sight.
"Let's go back and tell the boss about his money. No use lamenting our fate here."
The two men sheathed their swords and retraced their steps to deliver the unfortunate news to their boss, the son of a sergeant in the kingdom of Francesse's army.
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"Well done, guys! Their faces when they fell were hilarious, haha," the thief exclaimed, laughing heartily with his accomplices.
They had just left the slums opposite to where they entered and were now heading towards a once-wealthy district, now mainly occupied by homeless people. The houses were large and mostly dilapidated or abandoned. It was evident that these buildings hadn't been renovated for a long time, and drunken men, clad in rags with as much flesh on their bodies as someone suffering from years of anorexia, dotted the streets. These men and women, who had nothing left in life, had taken residence in these houses.
A simple stroll here would disgust anyone unfamiliar with such neighborhoods. A nauseating odor, capable of making even the hardiest stomachs retch, permeated the air, and waste and signs of excretion were scattered everywhere, including on the road. As they traversed the streets, the group stopped discussing their misdeeds and quickly made their way through the district. The young thief concealed the loot in his pockets, careful not to let the sound of the coins resonate in the street.
The group began moving toward a building at the end of the street. On the gate in front of the building, the words "Valcourt Orphanage" were prominently displayed. This orphanage was managed by a former nun named Alexandra, who had opened it in the city decades ago. Unfortunately, Alexandra was running short on funds to maintain the orphanage and feed its 50 mouths.
Upon reaching the entrance, a chubby 7-year-old boy, standing at 1 meter tall with short brown hair and brown eyes, saw them and exclaimed, running towards them, "Big sister Louiseeee, I'm hungry! Did you bring something to eat? Alexandra hasn't been giving much these days, and I need to eat to grow!"
"Not today, little glutton. We've been out all day, and that's the only thing you can think to say?" Louise said, suppressing a laugh at his antics.
Louise had long, slightly curly blond hair and mesmerizing green eyes. At that moment, she was dressed in a tattered outfit too big for her 140 cm frame and wore nothing on her feet.
Undeterred by the refusal, the boy turned abruptly to one of the two boys. "Michaëllll, did you think about your poor little brother who's starving and hasn't eaten anything for at least 5 days?" he asked, making big, tearful eyes.
"Jonas, you know if I found something to eat, I would've eaten it right away," Michaël replied, sticking his tongue out at him. The bell had just rung for the evening, and he knew Jonas had just had his meal. The 7-year-old never had enough to eat and always tried every means to coax food from his older brothers and sisters at the orphanage who would take pity on him.
Michaël was the smallest of the three, barely measuring 130 cm in height, but he was also the most agile and skilled with his hands. He could pick locks faster than anyone and could escape through the smallest crevices. His hair and eyes were as black as the night, and his outfit was exactly the same as Louise's, his trailing slightly on the ground as he moved.
Disappointed, little Jonas glanced at the last member of the group, casting him a hopeful look. Seeing the pitiful expression on his little brother's face, the latter burst into childish laughter that echoed in front of the orphanage. "Don't worry, I got lucky today and managed to find half a white loaf behind old Danny's bakery. We'll share it once we're inside."
After hearing this, all three of them exclaimed simultaneously, "REALLY!"
"Incredible, why didn't you tell us earlier?" Louise said, still in shock. It's worth noting that white bread was a privilege reserved for the wealthy, and a single loaf would cost as much as the entire meals for the entire orphanage for three days.
"I didn't get the chance to tell you; we were in a bit of a hurry," he replied with a smile on his face. "And speak quieter, you bunch of idiots. If the others hear us, we'll have to share with them."
"Got it, boss," said Jonas, imitating a soldier saluting his superior.
They then headed towards the orphanage's door. When they were only a few meters from the entrance, a nun in her habit suddenly appeared behind them.
"Hello, children. I hope you haven't done anything naughty today," she said. "And I'm counting on you to at least share your spoils with your roommates, Leonard."
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A few additional details to facilitate understanding ;) :
Military Ranks (part of them)
Soldier:
Basic Soldier
Confirmed Soldier
Corporal
Non-Commissioned Officer:
Sergeant
Warrant Officer
Sergeant Major
Thank you for reading this chapter!!! Feel free to leave a comment to let me know what you think.