The main door opened, and a man who looks to be in his 40s entered. He looked at me with those sympathetic eyes before saying, "You're finally up! You've been sleeping for two weeks now, and I'm starting to worry if Mr. Jimmy put too many sleeping pills to the point that you might be in a coma."
Yeah, that's right. Mr. Jimmy gave me a drink that time, so he put sleeping pills in that drink. Huh.
"By the way I'm Rendon. So you already read the letter and know that Mr. Jimmy asked me to take care of you? You don't have to worry I owned this apartment complex from now on this unit will be your home. I won't ask you to pay rent."
I just look at him without saying anything. My heart still ache from the news that my family are gone.
"I brought you food, don't forget to eat it up. In case you need something just look for me at unit 101. I'll be leaving now."
"Wait! May I borrow your phone?" He gave me his phone without asking why. I took it and search the news about my family. They are really gone...this time it isn't a dream. But how I wish it is just a dream just like before. That once I woke up I would be able to see them again.
I hold back my tears then gave him back the phone. He leave after putting the food at the table. I just stared at it without any intention to eat it.
I blamed myself for their death. If only... if only I didn't sneak out that time they may still be alive. Right, if I didn't sneak out Mr. Jimmy would be able to put away those flowers and my family would not fall asleep too deeply. They'll be able to wake up and notice the fire. They can still manage to get out and save their lives. But because of me... because of me they were burned to death while asleep!
It was because of me! It was my fault! Just because of that stupid motorcycle race! They're gone, my family is gone and I'm left alone. What am I gonna do now?
My head is full of those thoughts.
I keep blaming myself over and over. As if by doing this the heartache I'm feeling will be lessened. As if blaming myself will make things come back to the way it used to be. As if blaming myself will end my misery.
Cause right now... I lost all my reason to live.
I'm lost in a world of pain. My eyes feel empty, like all the light has gone away. Moving feels heavy, and I just sit or stand, staring into nothing. The loss is too much, and it's like a big gap between me and everything else. Life seems like a long stretch of nothing, and I'm stuck in this quiet sadness with no reason to move forward.
---
I just continue staring into nothing until the morning came.
Mr. Rendon came back again and brought me breakfast. As he uncovers the untouched meal from yesterday, his face registers a mixture of disappointment and sadness.
I just stared at him without any intention to speak. Still lost in the extreme sadness that I'm feeling. My misery seems no end.
He walks towards me, grab my arm and make me sit down at the front of the dining table. "You must eat. I know what you're feeling right now but things already happened. You must move on and continue living. People come and go that's how it was always been. That's the reality and you have no choice but to accept it. And I'm sure your family would want you to live well and keep going."
I just let him rant without any intention to speak up. I understand what he's saying but I already don't feel like living.
When he saw that I didn't react to every single thing he's been talking while I just continue staring into nothing. He sigh.
"Mr. Jimmy ask me to take care of you. How I'm gonna face him if you continue being like this? You haven't eaten for a long time already if this continue you might die."
Die, huh? I would love to if that happens. There's nothing here for me to live for.
Seeing me react to the word die he seems become angry "You! You really gave up on living?" He opened his phone and seems like searching for something. Then he opened the television in front of the sala set near us.
What the television showed us was the coronation ceremony of the New Emperor of Veilhaven Country. It was my Uncle Leon, being the only member of Santos Family that is left alive. Cause everyone believe that I also died at that incident.
Looking at those happy expressions especially those faces of the leaders and also the new emperor hits me hard. I feel really mad and sad, and it's tough to believe they're enjoying life while I'm still hurting a lot. It just doesn't seem fair!
I'm beyond angry, like my whole being is a storm of rage. My face is all scrunched up in this fierce scowl, and my eyes are burning with this intense determination, like they're on fire.
Every muscle in my body feels tight, wound up with this furious energy. It's this deep, seething anger, and all I can think about is getting revenge. There's this fire inside me that won't calm down until I set things straight, make them pay for what they've done.
I took a few breaths and calmed myself. Took the spoon and fork and started eating. Having a new reason to live my life. That's right from now on I will live for revenge. I won't allow myself to die without getting my revenge.
I can feel Mr. Rendon breath a sigh of relief while looking at me eating. But when I looked back at him he has this contemplative gaze, his brows furrowed and he's gaze is focused on a distance as if he was thinking if he made the right decision but then he's facial tention suddenly easing as if he decided not to dwell on it.
"Mr. Rendon do you have a computer? Can I borrow it?" I asked him after I finished eating.
Without asking anything he told me "Wait for me here, I'll get the laptop."
When he came back with the laptop. I took it and opened it while asking "What's your surname Mr. Rendon? And what country we are right now?"
"Castro, that's my surname and right now we are in Sparks Country it is a country where it is the people who vote and decide who they want to be their leader or better call it The President. It is different from where you came from."
I directly went to the civil registration system of Sparks Country while he was talking then I hacked it. I search for Mr. Rendon name and put the name "Blaze Castro" as his son. Then also add that name to the list of their resident. Just like that I became a citizen of Sparks Country.
I can feel Mr. Rendon shocked expression after witnessing what I have done.
"You! Oh, amazing! As expected of the son of an Emperor, truly a genius." He has those sparkling eyes while saying those words. He looks like a child who just witness a magic show. He's quite a funnyman.
"So you're my son now?"
I looked at him while explaining "Based from the record it says you're an orphan who was raised in an orphanage. So I don't have to worry about any family member cause you don't have one to begin with."
"It was stated you're not married even if you're already 43 years old now. Is it because of your life experiences that you became afraid to settled down and create your own family?" I look at him with an inquisitive gaze while raising my eyebrows.
" Looking at your appearance your quiet handsome so no one will question having a handsome me as your son. So I think it will be okay."
"Just based from your handsome appearance for sure there were girls who fall inlove with you. So let's just say I'm your son from your first love but then she died after giving birth to me. Well, from your record you have lots of address which means you keep changing address. You move from one place to another so noone exactly remembered you.
You just recently settled here the same time you brought me here. I think it was Mr. Jimmy's arrangements."
"That makes sense. But why you choose the name Blaze?" Fascination is evident on his face.
I just look at him without any intention to answer that. Instead I told him "You need to go to the city hall first to ask for a print out copy of my certificate of residency. I need them for my school enrollment. I'll make a transcript or report card, please print that out too."
Once he went out. I stared at a distance.
From now on I will be Blaze Castro. Blaze - so that I will always be reminded of how my family died. So that I will never forget how my heart is blazing for revenge the main reason why I'm living right now.