Yeah...I could feel my humanity slip away alongside common sense .
'I was only kidding when I said I'd become a monster tho...' I thought with somber dejection.
I realized I had infinite Mana...or a larger than expected Mana pool.
I had no way of knowing.
I could maintain the single conjuring for hours without faltering, never once had I felt exhaustion on my Mana.
'How even would Mana exhaustion feel like?' perhaps, I had already felt and it and just failed to realize?
But then, why would there be no changes in the flame which I constantly actively supplied with Mana to keep it alive?
'Or perhaps, what if the Mana exhaustion the book spoke about was referring to the lethargic dreariness I feel after maintaining the spell for too long? What if it really was talking about the mental exhaustion?'
Then again, I wasn't sure what that was either. The mental exhaustion just felt... different. It was a dull migraine with strange lethargic symptoms. I'm also amazed it took me mere hours to actually feel that tired. And all I had to do was sit and maintain a single flame.
From that, I can draw the conclusion that magic was just another way to effectively drain me of stamina more quickly than actual physical activities.
'That could be a problem... ' but one thing at a time.
I had to first of all understand why I could maintain a conjuring for so long without feeling my Mana deplete.
If it doesn't deplete, would that also mean my Mana Core wouldn't expand then?
Wait.
On the other hand, if I do have infinite Mana or just an extra large mana pool, why do I even have to worry about expanding my Mana capacity then? Shouldn't I consider myself lucky?
'Like hell!' I frowned.
'No matter how you think about it, this is clearly not normal. Why am I even surprised?! I already had a functioning Mana Core at three! Why's it so weird I have a possibly larger pool, then? It's because I'm an anomaly! I wreck common sense!' yes, that was what I should be worrying about.
If word of any of this got out to the world, I could only imagine what could happen to me.
'Why do I have to be so different during this lifetime... ' ah, yes, there was also that I was reincarnated and still retain my previous life's memories.
'... Damn, I'm an existence...' i thought with a bitter smile.
Back to the topic. I had to spread out this suspicions and theory.
I had a few ideas. Perhaps I really did have maybe a little larger Mana capacity than supposed to, I had to know by just how much. And it was clear that by conjuring a single tongue of flame wouldn't make a dent in it.
'Maybe I should try actual spells.'
Conjurings were different from actual spells. In some ways it can be thought of as a type of spell, but at the same time not really so the book didn't really go deep into this, but I managed to understand more or less
Conjurings were the simple manifestation of magic, and spells were the complex use of Mana to create special magic.
I merely conjured a tongue of fire, not an actual Fireball that would fly around and explode. The magic I had seen the villagers use to work the fields are real examples of spells. They direct a purpose.
So it went without saying, Conjurings used up less Mana compared to spells
A little wary, I had opted to Conjuring instead of casting an actual Fire spell that night in the forest.
But perhaps this time, I might have to result to actual Spells to gauge my capacity.
"Sigh, I knew I was going to try spell casting again, eventually." I whined, giving in to my faith.
But this was also a good opportunity, concerning certain levels of course.
The old book was like a documentary guide to magic, with only explaining various theories and practicals. There weren't many actual spells described so far, it only explained certain terminologies related to magic and how this resulted to that and so on.
But there was one spell it did describe and explained.
It was a like a requirement spell all actual Mages should be capable of executing easily.
The [Magic Bullet].
Over the following day, I studied the [Magic Bullet] spell and waited till midnight to try it out in the forest. Security was tighter around the village premises, but I managed to slip through unnoticed and went even further past the burnt area of the forest before arriving at a small clearing.
The Magic Bullet, even by it's name, was an offensive spell. The caster simply shot out their Mana in a controlled fashion. It was that easy and straightforward, compared to other intricacies of other spells.
That was why in some cases, this spell resembled more of a Conjuring. But, [Magic Bullet] was a basic requirement for a mage for a reason; the spell required yet delicate magic control and manipulation. All of which I had been mastering would bare fruit in this.
I gave a sigh and stretched out my right hand for a tree fifteen meters away from me. Compared to the last time, I didn't have to result to meditating or practicing the mental exercises to raise my concentration.
With a single thought, I wielded my Mana and uttered internally.
[Mana Bullet].
There was a pulling force down my outstretched arm as I focused my magic power and coalesced the energy in my palms. A shimmering sphere of greenish energy gathered and formed, expanding and contracting.
Raising my concentration I tightened my hold on the control of my Mana and instinctively shrunk the sphere before firing it off. The ball of energy shot off and traveled at the speed of a bullet, denting the surface of the tree.
I let out a sigh of relief at the successful execution of the spell. I reigned in the power of the Bullet so as to reduce the damage done to the environment just to be safe, but I was still pleasantly satisfied with the results.
'But how does this solve any of my problems exactly?' I suppressed the urge to groan. I felt mentally exhausted and drained, I had been trying to run through my Mana pool throughout the night before stepping out.
The Magic Bullet was the only spell the book gave me access to. The others were just theories and written practicals that offered only the most basic of knowledge concerning magic. I had yet to finish deciphering the entire text but I began to feel like I had hit a wall already.
"Screw it. There's not much I can do but wait in the end." Feeling dejected and resigned, I sat against the ground and shot my eyes to meditate to raise my Mana sensitivity and control. These were the only two pieces of information and techniques that could help me constantly improve from the book.
A few minutes into meditating, I slowly opened my eyes with an incredulously thought. Staring at the Bullet Mark left on the tree, I pondered out loud.
"What if I just weaved my own spells?"