(Crow POV) Location: Wano
I was never one to complain much, as I had a pretty high tolerance for bullshit, and I can let most things go pretty quickly.
However, it's also because I don't want to come off as a whiny little bitch as nobody likes those, so I mostly internally complain about whatever inconveniences me.
However, after my conversation with Kaido earlier, let's just say these upcoming months are going to be long and annoying as shit.
(Flashback)
"You wanted to see me, Kaido?" I asked, and he nodded with a ghost of a smile.
I mentally shuddered that. A smiling Kaido is just fucking creepy.
"I heard you're expecting to be a father of five. That's going to be quite the handful," he chuckled.
I still can't get over how weird his laugh is. It kinda sounded like someone starting up an engine.
I also heard that Big Mom and Whitebeard had weird laughs as well.
Is having a strange laugh a Yonko thing or something?
I smiled proudly. "Yeah, but thankfully, I won't be alone to raise the kids."
Kaido nodded at that. "There's not many things that are more difficult than raising kids as a single parent," he said with barely noticeable sadness in his tone. "You're lucky you won't have to deal with that. Raising a child alone can be...difficult."
It wasn't a secret that his and Yamato's relationship, if anyone could call it that, was jack-shit, and it was easy to understand why.
If my daughter proclaimed herself the person that nearly killed me in battle and was left with a big ass scar by that individual as a reminder of that near-death experience, I'd be pretty pissed, too.
However, in Kaido's case, his ass fucking deserves it, as he was a pretty shitty dad and an even shittier person. It wasn't much of a wonder why she'd prefer to be someone else than to be his kid.
I know I sure as fuck would.
"I know I am, sir...why am I here?" I asked bluntly, wanting to get this conversation over with so I could go home and be with my family.
Kaido chuckle. "Always straight to the point. You're here because we need to talk about your position in the Beast Pirates," I quirked an eyebrow at that.
"I thought I was just going to be a glorified man whore" I joked, earning a laugh from Kaido.
"Well, you still will be, but you'll have another role in the crew that'll be essential to our success."
"And that is?" I asked curiously.
"I initially thought of putting you in the Flying Six, but after some thinking, I came up with something else. You're going to be an envoy of the Beast Pirates," he revealed, shocking me.
"You want me to be an envoy? Since when the fuck do you do diplomacy?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow.
Kaido snorted. "I may enjoy using more...aggressive ways of persuasion, but I'm not entirely unreasonable."
Yeah ok...
"Right..." not gonna even get into that debate. "So me out of all people? Wouldn't King be more suited for this shit?"
"He would, but I need him here currently..." he didn't elaborate further and continued. "As for why I chose you, it's because, besides King, you're one of the few reasonable and amicable people on the crew."
I mean, he's not entirely wrong about that. Compared to everyone within the Beast Pirates, Uta, King, and Kaido are the only ones besides me who can be tactful when needed.
As for being friendly, I guess he's not wrong about that, either. Unlike my fellow pirates, Uta and I are the only ones that the people of Wano like because whenever we have free time, we go around Wano giving out supplies like food, water, etc.
We even helped some of them out with their daily duties whenever we could and protected them from the more hostile Beast Pirate members, so it was safe to say we had a lot of the natives wrapped around our fingers.
So it wasn't hard to understand why he'd want me as an emissary. Besides, it's not like I could even reject this position if I wanted to, so I might as well suck it up and do what I can to stay under this fuckers good graces.
"Hmmm, I still feel like there's more to this than you're letting on," I called out with narrow eyes. "Who are you trying to ally with? I certainly hope it's not fucking Big Mom. She'd stab us in the back when the opportunity presents itself."
Kaido sneered at the name. "You're not wrong about that. No, the ones I want you to negotiate with are the Germa Kingdom and Shield Alliance."
I rubbed my chin. "I understand Germa; with their military strength, technology, and scientific prowess, they would make quite the allies. As for the other group, I don't know much about them."
Kaido explained who the faction was and why he wanted an alliance with them.
The Shield Alliance is a faction led by seven women, and their leader is the High Queen Celestine Lucross, who apparently is a reincarnated goddess.
Yeah, right...
Anyway, he wants them as an ally due to their island's natural resources, which were a hundred times greater than those of Wano. However, that wasn't the only reason he wanted an alliance with them.
"You want me to recruit Magicians? You mean like that one guy...fuck, what was his name again?" he thought for a moment before shrugging. "Eh, never mind, you know who I'm talking about."
I didn't know much about the topic, but that was to be expected. According to Kaido, possessing magic was even rarer than being born with Conqueror's Haki.
Kaido grunted. "I do, and while his abilities are undoubtedly useful. However, if what our spy says is correct, then the natives of the island make him a mere child in comparison."
"Ah, I see...so how will I be able to get them over to our side? I'm not exactly familiar with politics, you know."
He hummed. "The best way to form an alliance is through an arranged marriage," he gave me a look that I didn't like. "You know where I'm going with this, right?"
My eyebrow started twitching. "Are you fucking serious?" I asked heatedly.
Kaido quirked an eyebrow and smirked. "I don't see why you're complaining. I've heard Judge's daughter and the leaders of the Shield Alliance are quite beautiful."
I resisted the urge to scream and sighed. "That's not the point, and you know that you fucking overgrown lizard," I replied, causing a tick mark to appear on his forehead. "I don't appreciate being forced into a marriage with people I barely know."
"We both know it's the only way. Any other option will be shaky at best, and we can't risk losing these individuals as possible allies," he argued.
I let out a long sigh. "I know....fine, I'll fucking do it. However, if I'm doing this, I'm marrying Uta first," I said with an annoyed tone.
Kaido narrowed his eyes. "Fine, but the next time you speak to me like that...it won't be pretty," he warned.
"Noted. So when do I start?" I asked, unbothered by his threat.
"In a week, you best use this time wisely as you'll be busy for the next few months."
"Got it. However, I have to ask something...what if neither accepts the offer?"
"If we can't have them as allies...then no one else can either."
(End of Flashback)
I desperately wanted to scream at the bastard at the time, but I held my tongue as I knew as soon as I opened my mouth, I'd either get the ass beating of a lifetime or worse...I'd be doing all of King's paperwork...I shuddered at the thought.
I can handle getting my ass beaten to near death, being impaled multiple times, a woman's wrath, vicious scoldings, boring lectures, and boredom in general but paperwork...yeah fuck that.
Give me an angry Kaido any time of the week because at least that'll eventually end, but paperwork, on the other hand, never fucking ends! I don't know how Uta managed to stay sane doing it, but there's one thing I know: I don't envy her job.
But in all seriousness, I was fucking pissed after he told me I'd have to marry Judge's daughter and one of the Shield Princesses.
I also wasn't happy about being a diplomat because I lacked experience, and it also involved doing paperwork! Sure, it won't be to the same extent King and Uta have to deal with daily, but doing paperwork is paperwork, nonetheless!
I shook my head and groaned.
I need a fucking drink...
"Hey, babe!" Uta hugged me from behind. "Did you just get home?"
"Oh...um, no, I've been in the office for quite a while," I replied sheepishly.
"I see. So what's on your mind?" Uta asked before getting comfortable on my lap and wrapping her arms around my neck.
"Kaido made me an envoy of the Beast Pirates," I said, surprising her.
"Really?" I nodded. "Why?"
"I was the most suited for the role, apparently," I shrugged. "However, that's not all of it," I explained everything that Kaido and I discussed.
By the end of it, she was pissed but knew there was nothing she could do about it.
She sighed and kissed me lovingly. "I'm sorry that you have to do this."
I hugged her. "Don't be sorry, my love. If it means keeping our family safe, I'll do anything."
She smiled and kissed me again. "I know, and that's one of the reasons why I love you so much...so when did you wanna get married?" she asked shyly with red cheeks.
I still don't get how she's blushing, considering all the freaky shit we do in bed. You'd think the topic of marriage would be pretty tame in comparison.
I hummed. "By the end of the year or after we gain the alliance of Germa and the Shield Alliance. What do you think?"
"I like it," Uta smiled. "I know Ulti will be happy about it, especially Page," we chuckled.
Ever since Ulti and I got together, she's been sleeping over at our place more often, to the point where it's a rarity, giving Page a lot more freedom.
The guy practically worships the ground I walk after that and fully supports the relationship. To most, they'd think he's just being overdramatic, but most don't know how overbearing Ulti can be. I love the girl, I really do, but she's too much sometimes.
We literally have a schedule on who'll hang out with her and for how long, with me having the longest time and Mikasa having the shortest due to her short temper.
On the bright side, she'll soon be spending all that excessive energy taking care of and playing with our soon-to-be kids, so none of us can complain too much. However, when the kids are older, we'll have to do the cooking because Ulti can't cook to save her life.
"Yeah, I know," I yawned. "Well, I'm going to bed. Wanna join me?"
"Sure," she got off me and dragged me to the bedroom, and we quickly fell asleep.
End.
After Chapter Twenty will be the first ark.
Also, I better not hear any complaints about magic being involved because the concept is canon within the series and has shown several characters who have it. The only difference with me is that I'm expanding on it, and no, Crow won't be getting magic. He did have it initially in the originally, but after some thought, I decided against it, and I'll instead just give him items that would protect or fight him against it, but that's about it.
And one more thing before I forget: the chapters for the Ark are pretty long, so don't expect weekly updates.
Other than that, I hope you guys have a good day!