After going through his phone and reading the text messages, I blankly marched to the room where he was peacefully sleeping and violently yanked the blanket off him, "Who the hell is Carol??", I shouted as soon as he raised his head.
Still half asleep and disoriented, he murmured, "What are you talking about Thandie?"
"This!", I tossed the phone next to him, and his eyes instantly widened in shock unknowingly shattering my heart in a split second, "Th-Thandie...listen...", he pleaded as he came to his senses and guiltily sat up straight, "Carol...Carol is-"
"Your girlfriend??", I snapped with a trembling voice
"Oh no!", he denied without hesitation, "No, not my girlfriend, okay? Carol is just someone I know - an acquaintance - an old friend. I promise...". He exhaled heavily and his face dropped even more, but his voice retained its calmness, "...Carol is a girl I met at a club, and from time to time, we would meet up -"
I instantly recalled the first article I saw of him, "Is she the girl you were once spotted kissing at a club?",
Without a hit of doubt, he replied, "Yes.", and I instantly felt a rush of anger and hurt overwhelming me, although I already knew where it was headed, I still foolishly asked, " You guys fucked, didn't you?"
Without any hesitation, "Yes..."
A part of me wishes he had denied it, but who was I kidding, this is Walter I am talking to - ask and you shall be answered and the can of worms I opened was starting to turn against me. I never thought I'd be one of those girls who'd foolishly ask things like that. I always thought that I would be the strong and brave one, the ones who always choose to leave and won't ask for explanations - no closure. Look at betrayal in the eyes and say, "Not today...I am not the one.", but there I was, foolish question after question.
"When was the last time you were together?". At that point, I didn't even know what I was hoping to hear.
Still avoiding my hurt gaze, he said calmly, "A few days before I came to your place the first time...", he finally stood up to put on his pants, and then strolled towards me, "Thandie, listen, the moment we made it official, I ended it. I told her we can't continue-"
I took a step back avoiding his touch, "Was she the same girl who called you earlier?"
He halted in his step, and I saw it in his eyes, for the first time that night, hesitation before he answered, "Yes...but is not what you think-"
My whole body was now quivering. I was no longer in control, and words were falling on their own from my mouth, "And you picked up and spoke to her for that long, she must mean a lot to you...I mean you are not able to even let go. Come to think of it, isn't this the same way I and you started? Is she my replacement?"
"Thandie...No it's not like that-"
I cried, "Take me home - no, forget it, I will go on my own!". I put on my clothes and rushed out without taking any of the things I came with. I didn't know where I was going, all I knew was that I had to get away, my heart was pounding through my chest like a rock and there was a lump in my throat making it hard to breathe. I had to get out, I had run as far away as I could from that soul-sucking place. I repeatedly pressed the elevator until I heard it ring and at the same time, Walter was running towards me saying something but I couldn't hear it. I was out of my senses, "How could he do this? What was so special about that girl? Couldn't he just delete her numbers or block her when I came back into the picture? Why didn't he let me go when I wanted to end things..."
I felt something strong grab my wrist and that's when I looked up to see Walter's face drenched face and I looked around me to find that I was already outside the building going nowhere in the rain, "Fine, I will take you home. Please let's go back... at least put on proper shoes, I promise to take you home - or call an Uber, but please come back, just come back to the house with me."
He began pulling me back to his apartment and I unconsciously, mindlessly followed behind him in my numbness.
When we reached the apartment, we both got off our wet clothes and he took my bags and helped me put on my shoes, then we made our way to the car. The ride home was quiet and agonizing, I knew he had a lot to say because he was constantly sighing, and I, on the other hand, was numb, nothing mattered at that moment. I was left feeling regretful and foolish. He took my bags and walked me to my door, "Thandie, wait-"
He said grabbing my hand, "- can I come in? for a few minutes..."
"Why? What else is left to say? You should tend to your other woman, she's been blowing your phone the whole night." I banged the door and just mindlessly walked to my room.
I began bawling my eyes out as soon as I reached the bed, I was heartbroken.
After what seemed like a forever of crying, I stood up, wiped my eyes and then took a hot shower and everything became clearer at that moment. I had reached a stage where I had accepted what happened and I made the most important decision of my life.
I wanted Walter, all to myself. I understand that Carol is part of a short history which did not include me, but going forward, he would have to make a decision - to cut all contact with this Carol character or end our story.