There's no real decision to make.
"You won't believe me."
Classmaster Thomson looks at me patiently, as if to tell me to continue.
"...I'm tainted blood. But somehow, somehow I can use spirit power. I fought two of them off. One of them fled."
His eyes go wide.
His mouth falls open, his lips forming the beginning of a 'wha-'.
He ends up saying something entirely different. "You..."
It's still not much of a word.
He looks as if he's been punched in the face and has forgotten how to breathe.
Thomson stands there, staring at me with a bewildered look on his face for several long seconds.
Finally, he opens his mouth, closes it again, and shakes his head slowly. "I don't understand...that doesn't make sense...."
His voice is thick with disbelief, and I can't say I blame him.
I don't understand it either, and it happened to me.
For a long moment neither of us say anything, both lost in our own thoughts.
Then... "How long have you been able to use spirit power, Caden? Since when?"
The classmaster's voice is calm and measured, his eyes scanning my face with an intensity that makes it difficult to meet his gaze.
I can't just shrug him off, the shock he displayed is proof of that.
I don't want to tell him.
But I've already made a commitment.
"Yesterday was the first time."
His brows rise sharply and he gapes at me in disbelief. "Are you certain? You can't be sure?"
"As sure as I am anything. It's never happened before yesterday. And...there's nothing about it I understand or can explain."
"Then...what....power is it?"
"I..."
I frown and look away from him.
I already decided I'd come clean, at least with him, rather than hide it and live in fear.
But...
Even for a lazy slouch who tries not to pay attention in class...
I know how suspicious this ability seems.
Even if I weren't already a Tainted Blood.
Even if I wasn't already labeled.
Knowing what I know now...I understand my classmates' fears and anxieties.
A tainted blood, suddenly discovering they can control Gloom?
It just isn't realistic.
That's a Gloom Dweller ability, the sort of thing you'd think would be impossible to ever have happen to a human being, regardless of their parentage.
A tainted blood, one rejected by the exorcist's blessing due to impurity, possessing an ability only appearing by Gloom Dwellers?
I don't know of any precedent for it, but I don't need one to know what it looks like.
"...I don't know. I only know the Gloom responded to my spirit power and allowed me to defeat them."
It's not an answer Thomson wanted, apparently, because he frowns heavily and runs a hand through his hair, frustration evident in every gesture. "What do you mean, it 'responded to your spirit power'?"
"I mean that when I tried to do anything to manipulate it, it listened." I try not to get defensive, but it's hard. "I can't say anything else, because I don't know what's going on. I can't provide answers, because I don't have any."
Classmaster Thomson mulls this over in silence for a long, long moment.
His eyes search my face intently, and his brow knits together with concentration.
When he finally does speak, he only asks one thing:
"Tell me everything that happened after they took you from the group. Start at the very beginning of what occurred between the instant you went into the woods and when I arrived on the island. Don't leave out a single detail, no matter how minor it may seem to you."
"What? Why?"
"Because it may be relevant in understanding the current situation, Caden."
His voice is soft and reassuring, but he still puts an emphasis on the point he wishes to convey, as if he is trying to urge me forward.
"I can't say for sure just how important that information is right now, but what you've described to me already is incredibly shocking and beyond all reasonable explanation, and anything that might shed some light on why and how this is happening could be crucial for future events."
He frowns, and continues."Anything you might think of that might be pertinent, any detail that strikes you as important or out of place - I need to know it."
His earnestness and insistence are hard to resist.
If he truly believes that my memories might be helpful, or if he has a reason for believing that my experiences on that island may be necessary, I can at least indulge him and cooperate with the request.
"Fine."
This is...
I'm way out of my element.
I just want to laze around and sleep. Solving mysteries, protecting my class, near death experiences with Gloom Dwellers, being investigated by the Order?
None of that is me.
Yet...
I let out a sigh.
"I'll tell you everything I can remember from the moment I left the group until I returned, but don't expect to learn too much that you don't already know. That humanoid Gloom Dweller seemed...well...human."
I explain to Thomson my encounter with the Gloom Dweller duo. How the humanoid spoke intelligently, and seemed aware of the concept of traps and pre-planning, way beyond the intellect of a usual Gloom Dweller.
How that very intelligence was what I think caused them to fall back when the Gloom started to respond to me instead of them.
Thomson stops me there, expression even more alarmed than before. "What do you mean 'instead of them'?"
"The Gloom," I said, holding up one finger as if to illustrate a point.
"It...was like...it was listening to me. We could both control the Gloom, but they seemed to be unable to do anything with anything I controlled. My commands were the only ones that mattered, and I didn't even have to consciously think about it."
At first I thought I was the only person who realized the significance of that, but as I kept speaking, I gradually began to see that my words had started to affect the classmaster on a level I couldn't have possibly expected.
"...Does that mean anything?"
Thomson sits down on the desk of his ship board office with a heavy sigh.
"Caden, whatever your unique ability is...it's unlike anything that should be possible in existence, among exorcists, humans, and even what we know of Gloom Dwellers. What it means...we have absolutely no idea yet."
"...So...am I getting locked up as an abomination?"
I might as well just get it over with.
Thomson grimaces and shakes his head. "It's not that simple. You're right to think that this...will be very concerning to the Order. I don't know what they'll do..."
He falls quiet for a moment, before he finally says something that leaves me speechless.
"...So the Order won't know until I do." He gives me a pointed look. "How many have you told about this so far?"
"Uh..." I blink, struggling to recover from my stunned state. "I'm not dumb. You're the first."
The man nods and sighs. "...Good. Under no circumstances tell anyone else. Not until I say otherwise."
So much for not living in hiding and fear.
Thomson touches my shoulder with his hand, as if he knows my thoughts. "I know you're not a monster, Caden. I don't know a lot, but I know that much. And I won't let the Order think otherwise."