"You're absolutely responsible for the outcome of your life," were the wise words of my dad, when he was still alive and even though I often disagreed with his outlook on life, I now found those words to be true;
Especially now that I laid on my looming deathbed.
Needless to say, it was another morning of absolute regret.
A maid had walked in earlier to pull the curtains apart, so I had access to seeing the beautiful day; the morning bright and the sun shone into the room in its usual aesthetically pleasing way, but then, there was still this gloom that hung over and around me like an aura, I didn't know if to blame it on the brain numbing pain that coursed through me in periodical jolts, or the gloom stemmed from how alone I was feeling that morning.
It was sad to see how much I was suffering alone, especially when I was the Luna of the biggest pack in the entire continent, but I couldn't feel sorry for myself because i knew i was the cause of everything that was currently happening to me;
My pack hating me, the man I loved abandoning me, how I had no family, friend normally around to support me, how my cousin kept pumping poison into my system… everything was my fault and solely mine.
I'd either been too weak, naive, insufferable or just plain stupid and all of my mistakes had come back to haunt me;
If only I could have a do over.
I'd lost track of time since my inexplicable ailment began, but I had more than enough time to reflect on the past two years of my life and realised how many mistakes I've made–
My thoughts process had been interrupted by the sudden entrance of the man I loved and at the same time had grown to hate; my one and only mate the current Alpha of my fathers pack;
Ronald.
I hated the fact that he'd turned to latch on the lock before proceeding closer in fluid strides, I hated the satisfied smile that was plastered on his face that seemed to mock my suffering. I hated how he filled the room with his domineering presence and oppressive aura, how tightly he held the tray that contained another dose of catherine's poison yet, I couldn't bring myself to tell him to get out.
I could not yell at him for being such a cheat I was too weak—both emotionally and literally—to tell him that I wanted to sever our mating bond, I couldn't bare to see the look of pain that his face would depict if I said all the bile-filled things I had thought up in my head.
"You're looking better, this morning, Erica," he said in a way of salutation and perched the tray on the bedside stool by my right. The shit-eating grin was still very resident on his face.
"T–th… th–ank you." My voice sounded like sandpaper wrestling with iron. It was the first time I'd attempted to talk in weeks and that was because I wanted to wipe away that grin off his face. My efforts were for naught, for his smile only grew bigger, if anything.
"I do not know why you even try anymore, Erica. It's been five months since Tasha has been feeding you this poison, yet, you're still fighting it."
I brought forth a look I hoped depicted my satisfaction; a look I hoped told him of how much I would keep fighting till I was good enough to expose him and his mistress for being evil, but what he had to say next, as he picked up the single syringe in the tray was effective in wiping away that look completely from my face and my blood ran cold;
"But she's promised that this one is going to be the final blow. In her words, this single dose will put you to final rest in a matter of seconds and I brought it personally because I want the satisfaction of finally squashing the cockroach in my way of full dominance. Oh and it may also interest you to know that the council has promised to reinstate me as Alpha after your demise, when they witnessed Tasha and my mating ceremony just last night. Ah. Victory at last."
"Please, for old time's sake. Don't." It was probably desperation, but my voice sounded clear when I begged him. He halted his movement to puncture the overhead drip bag and looked at me in surprise, but his astonishment was one that was accompanied by pleasure.
"Oh. You're begging me for old time's sake? How naive can you really be to think that there was once a time I gave a fuck about you? Your delusions of grandeur brought you to this point, you see? Do you know how much my skin crawled under your touch? Or how much of a task it was not to vomit whenever I was fucking you? You thought all my words and acts of support, encouragement and love were genuine? How clueless can one be? Really. You were really just a means to an end, how can you still not see that?"
He wasn't merely trying to hurt me with his words, he was saying the truth. I could see the hate from his eyes, I could see the loathe bounce off him. He didn't say the words verbatim, but I knew that Ronald hated me. The truth of it settled like bile in my throat and gave me the sudden strength to fight.
My hands went to his neck to strangle him, but even though he wasn't expecting the move, he'd recovered quickly from the attempt and pulled my feeble hands away. A painful prick was suddenly felt at my neck and I could almost hear the poison rush into my veins.
"Consider this my birthday gift from me to you. You're finally going to meet your family in hell and I am all for it. Bitch!" His face was flushed by the scuffle and his ocean green eyes bright with hatred.
It wasn't even until Ronald's smile returned to place as I began to froth in the mouth that I realised it was indeed my birthday. With the last of my dying breath, I made a wish;
That I survived long enough to see my mate dead.