I leaned in the dark by the side of our Melbourne apartment, struggling to drag my mind from a Paris alleyway back into the present.
No local night sounds grounded me. I shuffled inside and climbed the stairs. At the landing, I paused, deciding to grab a glass of water before bed. In pivoting towards the kitchen, I tinkered in the throes of the past.
Somehow, I wish I could have reversed ever knocking on Ruby's apartment door. Repressing fanciful and gloomy thoughts, I drank my water in slow sips and readied for bed.
Our last night in this home. Rhea slept soundly when I entered our bedroom. She had packed hard the entire day. I lay in bed beside her. My mind issued strict orders to seal off any nights spent in a Paris apartment.
The following day, the removal company arrived. They stacked our life possessions on a truck. Rhea, the girls and I loaded our day gear for the drive. The city skyline disappeared behind us on the freeway.
About halfway to our new home, we stopped for a birthday lunch in a playground park for Miranda. Rhea set out a birthday cake. We inserted five candles, and Miranda blew them out. I held Alicja and Rhea, held Alina. In a country park, a happy unit of five.
What is there to write about in the years following our move? Life on autopilot. Rhea and I teamed content. Our girls grew. Phoebe's birth made us a family of six. I lived in a household of girls, a house of love.
Plenty of love to go around and around.
The carousel of recall whorls to Coral's favourite haunt, Luna Park, St Kilda—a Friday night in late November 1974.
A Coral organised celebration after our final college exams. Already marked as a red-letter day on her calendar, she feted her troupe to Luna Park.
The golden girl adored the carousel at the venue. Josh sneered indifferently. He labelled it 'a kiddy-go-round.' He preferred the Dodgem cars. A mite taken aback, Coral believed he should delight in the carousel as her boyfriend. I would have.
I practised table tennis in my mate's garage the night preceding Luna Park. Josh smashed the ping pong wickedly across the net.
His voice irritated, "All she mentioned was the fricking carousel. Couldn't she take a spin with me in the dodgems!"
We stopped our game abruptly. He slammed his paddle down!
I came to Coral's defence, "The carousel is old and famous. Each horse has a name, and she has ridden everyone."
Josh got unusually bad-tempered and rude, "She hasn't ridden me!"
I nearly fell backwards, steadied and focused on my paddle.
Followed by a total thankful Coral wasn't here to hear it!
Next, I remembered Coral planned sex. Her timeline loomed. My bestie hinted since her eighteenth birthday mid-year. At the jetty, I overheard her say to Josh, 'Wait until after our final exams and before Christmas.'
This and more occupied my mate's mind. He dumped his worries on me.
"My dad hasn't talked to me since the exams," rattled Josh, "I told him I don't want to be an engineer or go to Uni; I want to work with cars. Dammit!"
I paced around the table and gave him a pat on the back. My tap expended as inadequate as Josh unloaded broader troubles.
"And Saturday, Coral insists I attend her mum's party. I want to surf. Max is willing to teach me."
Another pat faded as my option of support.
I adopted the Josh solution when life threw complications.
Mindless action.
I backpedalled to my table position.
I directed, "Hit the ball."
Josh rated lousy at practice, missing regulation shots. It allowed me a rare win.
The Friday evening at Luna Park started naughtily and ended unhinged.
Events commenced in Acland Street, a troupe together. The brunette towed Coral to a salon. Ruby surprised her girlfriend; she would get her nails done. The full manicure; 'if Coral joined, now!'
Coral, excited, rearranged her plan: the salon first, later Luna Park.
Crabby and testy, Josh stated, "You expect me to hang around outside or, worse, inside a girly salon."
My bestie began a playful swat at his arm but stopped short.
In full flight, Josh continued, "We are going to Luna Park; see you there."
This change of plan was news to me. I stood between Coral and Josh. Who to choose! A sidestep, a shuffle forward, trying to decide. The brunette smirked, enjoying my hard call.
Coral waved her hands about and acquiesced shrill, "Okay."
Before she changed her mind, Josh grabbed my arm and urged, "Move fast."
My mate and I entered the famous amusement park. The crowd pressed, and I stuck close to Josh.
"Let's do the side-shows," he boomed above competing carnival noises, already leading me.
His excitement fuelled to overload. We flowed into Josh's pet domain, all bells and whistles, flashing neon and endless action potential. The games he chose included hitting or circling a target. I tried, and Josh did better, yet he won no prizes.
He glanced at his watch, "Let's do the Dodgems; Coral won't later."
We started to sidle the congested sideshows. The crowd built as the night darkened.
I gawked at Brittany; she was impossible to miss.
The blonde planted herself in front of Josh like a stop sign. Her red jumper dominated the moment. Her T-shaped navel innie teased in the gap between her cropped pullover and low-belted jeans.
I wondered how she knew where to find Josh.
I surmised Josh told Max of his Saturday dilemma, a fuddy party or incredible surfing. Brittany must have heard about Friday night at Luna Park.
I tried to sort it out; how did Brit know Coral would not be here?
Ruby scheming; Coral away from Josh!
I knew how Brittany operated, as did Josh. I remembered the fireworks in the park. Under the flashy sideshow lights, Brittany's face shone pretty. Her make-up was applied balanced. It highlighted her round cheeks and plump lips and enlarged her eyes.
Brit made the most of her youthful eighteen years of life. She slid her tongue tip out between her lips—signalling come-hither. Her eyes locked on Josh's.
No acknowledgement of me.
Brittany was velvet smooth, "Hi, Josh."
The blonde seemed to know she didn't have the entire night. She pleaded rapidly for Josh to win her a prize in the nearest side-show game. She slid into his personal space and massaged his ego.
"Wow," she expressed, feeling his arm through his shirt.
My mate's chest puffed.
"Flex it for me, Josh, flex it," demanded Brit.
And my mate did.
Where was Coral when Josh needed her?
Josh parted money for an air rifle and aimed at a target, moving tin rabbits. His scoring chances reduced as Brit snuggled behind him, her hands on his hips.
"Shoot 'em up, Josh, you can do it; I know you can," she urged my mate, who didn't need the ego build.
He accepted it. She jumped up and down wildly, distracting him. Her diversions propagated, pressing her rosy cheek to his rough one.
"The biggest elephant; win me the elephant; I want the elephant," she pleaded, pointing to the highest row of prizes.
Her voice and touching of his jaw were pure titillations.
"I like a big trunk!"
Brit's voice steamy pitched on 'big.'
Josh endeavoured to match her request, marshalling his total concentration. He shot to win her the top-row prize; he came bloody close. He won instead, a cuddly plush bear off the second row. The side-show operator handed him the big dark teddy. He proudly beamed at Brit, offering the bear. He expected her to take it.
"I don't want a bear," snapped saucy — as Josh stepped into her space.
My mate stood, arms locked, clutching a teddy.
"Sorry," he sulked, looking at Brittany, her face creeping into a sly smile.
"Oh no, it's fine; I want the snake, the big snake."
Her hands gradually moved apart, suggesting length, about several inches.
In bewilderment, Josh scanned the stuffed toy rows beside the shoot 'em-up gallery.
I sussed, too.
"No snake there," a puzzled Josh, studying her face.
He tucked the bear under his arm, and his hands copied her previous suggested length, inches from her tummy.
"Oh, your trouser snake, silly," shrill yet lush as she groped his crotch, stirring him immediately.
I like to think Coral flashed into his mind; he twisted and squirmed in a backward step. Held doubled-handed, the bear protected his crotch while he continued to eye off Brit. Seeing the bear's position, the blonde changed tack.
"The beach tomorrow; Max will be there; he said he would teach you to surf. You want to try, and I'll be there. Bring your van, show it off."
Brit covered every base. I saw Josh's fist pump at his side.
"For sure, I will show you my van."
Mention his van, and his chest puffed.
"The inside, I want to see what's inside," she winked.
Her thumbs were planted inside the line of her jeans.
"Yeah, sure," Josh stammered.
He scratched his head and unselfconsciously his groin.
She giggled like a naughty schoolgirl, her hand over her mouth. Then, in a nanosecond, her face tightened. Brit, on her toes, peered past Josh and me.
Her brow creased.
I reeled and saw Ruby and Coral, arm in arm, jostling through the dense sideshow crowd. Josh maintained a disadvantage, facing Brittany, and was left unaware his girlfriend had approached.
He stuck the unwanted teddy in front of his chest.
The blonde brushed her generous bosom against the bear.
Josh's eyes popped out of his head.
Brit waved to him as she slunk away.
She disappeared into the night like a stripper behind a black velvet curtain.