"I'm Himmel."
"Himmel Einar."
My mother named me after the brilliant sky.
From the moment I was born, I knew this life was different.
The memories of my past life in Seoul, South Korea, as Lee Jiho, a college graduate finally stepping into adulthood, were as clear as day.
I remembered everything—the bustling streets, the scent of coffee shops on every corner, and the endless nights spent studying, fueled by caffeine and a desperate need to escape my family's clutches.
My family… That was a story in itself. They were a toxic bunch, each member contributing to the cauldron of chaos that had been my life. I had worked so hard to get away, to start fresh, only to die in the most ridiculous way possible—an overdose of caffeine.
I mean, who dies from drinking too much coffee? A silly way to die, indeed.
When I first opened my eyes in this world, the shock of being reborn was almost too much to process.
And not just reborn—I was now a girl, a tiny baby girl in a world that was nothing like the Seoul I had known.
But the warmth of the people around me, the way they held me and spoke to me with such love and care, it was a far cry from the cold indifference I'd experienced in my previous life.
My new father, Duke Einar, was a strong, kind man who doted on me from the moment I was born. And Licht, my older brother… He was everything I could have wished for in a sibling—protective, affectionate, and always there to make me smile.
For the first time, I felt like I had a real family, a family that loved me. I thought I could finally live a happy life, one where I wouldn't have to constantly look over my shoulder, where I wouldn't have to fight for every scrap of affection.
Being born as a girl in this life wasn't so bad compared to this.
But all of that changed the day I heard the name "Vespertine."
I was barely three years old, sitting in my father's study with Licht by my side.
It was a rare occasion when we were allowed to be in the same room as our father while he conducted official business, but Licht had insisted that I accompany him.
We were playing with a set of wooden blocks, building a little tower, when I heard it.
"The Grand Duchess of Vespertine has passed away," my father said, his deep voice carrying across the room. "We need to go and pay our respects to my dear friend's wife."
I froze, a block slipping from my fingers and clattering to the floor.
Vespertine?
That name… Why did it sound so familiar?
And then it hit me like a bullet train.
The novel. The Rose and Her Thorns. It was an R21 novel I'd read back in my previous life, a dark, twisted tale filled with all sorts of depravity and crimes committed by none other than Kaltes Vespertine, the psychopathic heir to the Grand Duchy.
In the story, Kaltes was a monster. He started by murdering his own father to seize control of the Grand Duchy, and from there, things only got worse. He ruled as a dictator, turning Vespertine into a central power in Scadrial, a place where fear and suffering reigned supreme.
But the part that sent chills down my spine, the part that made my blood run cold, was what happened to Licht.
In the novel, Licht Einar was killed during a visit to Vespertine, a trip he made to attend the Grand Duchess' funeral.
It was a pivotal moment in the story, one that set the stage for everything that followed. Bound by a permanent promise made by his father to his grieving friend, Kaltes was forced to marry the princess of Einar—me, Himmel Einar.
But I wasn't the heroine of the story.
I was just a side character, a tragic figure who died a vain death after years of loving Kaltes unrequitedly, only to be killed by him when he fell for the female lead.
Kaltes always hated me in the novel. He despised the fact that I had the same name as his dead mother, and he took that hatred out on me in the cruelest ways imaginable.
But it wasn't my fault! I hadn't chosen this name, I hadn't chosen any of this!
As I sat there, my little hands trembling, the weight of my situation crashed down on me. This wasn't just some fantasy novel anymore.
This was my life, my reality.
And if I didn't do something, if I didn't find a way to change the course of events, then I was doomed to the same fate as the Himmel in the novel.
I tried to warn them, of course.
I begged my father and Licht not to go to Vespertine.
I threw tantrums, cried, and pleaded, but they just smiled at me indulgently, treating me like a child who didn't want her beloved brother and father to leave her side.
They didn't understand, and how could they?
There was no way I could explain that Licht would die if he went there and that this was all part of a twisted story I'd read in another life.
So, they left, and I was left behind, powerless to stop them.
The days that followed were torture.
Every moment I was waiting for the news, dreading the letter that would tell me Licht was gone, that my sweet, loving brother had met his end.
But then, something unexpected happened.
Instead of news of Licht's death, I received a letter from my father.
It was brief, stating that a fiancé had been decided for me and that he would be coming back to Einar with them.
Both my father and Licht were alive and well, and they were bringing my future husband with them.
I must have read that letter a dozen times, trying to make sense of it.
How was this possible?
Licht was alive, and not only that, but they had arranged a marriage for me? I couldn't believe it.
But then I read the name of my fiancé, and all the hope I'd felt came crashing down.
Kaltes Herz Vespertine.
It was still him.
Despite everything, despite Licht surviving the trip, I was still destined to marry that monster.
Was this my fate?
To be a pawn in this twisted game, to be used and discarded by Kaltes just as in the novel?
I felt a numbness settle over me, a resignation to my fate. If this was how it had to be, then so be it.
I thought that maybe if I died... maybe on the off chance, I might be able to return to my world and stop Einar from getting destroyed by Kaltes at the same time. It sucked that I had to go back to that insufferable world but if it could save everyone then I'd do it happily.
I tried jumping off from the highest balcony of the Maria House. There were stones below. Death was confirmed.
But as soon as I tried to jump, a freaking bird flew right into my face, throwing me back on the balcony from the railing. The crash was so loud, a dozen of maids flooded in and now I was monitored every moment for preventing 'accidents' from happening again.
Ha! My luck!
But I couldn't shake the feeling that there had to be a way out, some way to escape this marriage without getting myself killed in the process.
And then they arrived at Maria House.
My father, my brother, and Kaltes.
I could feel the anxiety gnawing at me as I was led to the drawing room to greet them.
My heart pounded in my chest, a mix of fear and determination coursing through me. I had to meet him, had to see for myself the man who would decide my fate.
When the door opened, the first thing I saw was Licht.
My beloved brother, safe and sound, his face lighting up with joy as he saw me.
"Himmel!" he called out, and before I knew it, I was in his arms, being spun around as he hugged me tight.
"Licht," I whispered, relief flooding through me. He was here. He was alive.
Maybe, just maybe, things would be okay.
But then I noticed him, watching us with a calculating gaze.
Kaltes Vespertine.
He was exactly as I'd imagined—tall for his age, with sharp features that were almost too perfect, like they had been chiseled from marble.
His eyes were cold, a deep red that seemed to see right through you, and his smile… It was the kind of smile that made your skin crawl, even though it looked perfectly polite on the surface.
But I could see why the Himmel in the novel fell for him.
He was beautiful.
Like a devil in an angel's disguise.
I froze, my breath catching in my throat as I met his gaze.
This was him. The man who would one day kill me. The man who would turn my life into a living nightmare.
But then something happened that I hadn't expected.
"This thing is so tiny," he said, his voice carrying a hint of disdain.
For a moment, I couldn't believe what I'd just heard.
I stared at him, my mouth slightly open in shock.
Did he really just say that?
That was so out of character for Kaltes Vespertine, the master manipulator who always sugarcoated his words, presenting them like delectable desserts to be craved.
He was supposed to be charming, disarming, the kind of person who could make you believe the sky was green if he wanted you to.
But here he was, making a crude remark right off the bat.
I could hardly process it.
What was going on? This wasn't how it was supposed to go.
In the novel, Kaltes had always been so careful with his words, so meticulous in the way he presented himself to others. But this… this was different. This was something I hadn't anticipated, something that wasn't in the script.
But Kaltes was still Kaltes. Whether he was being polite or rude, he was still the man who would one day make my life a living hell.
And I couldn't forget that. I couldn't afford to let my guard down, not for a second.
Licht, ever the peacekeeper, tried to smooth over the awkwardness.
"Kaltes, I'm sure you meant that as a compliment," he said, though there was a slight edge to his voice, as if he was warning Kaltes to be careful with his words. "Himmel is small, but she's strong. Aren't you, Himmel?"
I managed a weak smile, nodding as I clutched my rabbit doll closer to my chest.
"Yes, Licht," I said softly, though my mind was racing.
Kaltes gave me another one of those cold, polite smiles, but there was something in his eyes that made my skin crawl.
He was studying me, assessing me, trying to figure out what made me tick.
And I couldn't let him see how terrified I was, how desperate I was to escape this room.
So, I did what I had to do.
I smiled back, like a toddler. I had to play the game, had to act the part of the oblivious child, if I wanted any chance of surviving this.
Because that was what this was all about, wasn't it?
Survival. In this world, in this twisted story, I had to do whatever it took to stay alive.
Though acting like a three-year-old girl was cringing the life out of me.
But as I looked into Kaltes's eyes, I couldn't help but wonder how long I could keep up the act.
He was looking as if he wanted to punch something so hard right in front of him in the air. He must be suspicious.
He hadn't spoken a single word after that brute remark of me being tiny.
How long before he saw through my facade before he realized that I wasn't just some innocent, naive little girl?
That I knew his true self.
And when that happened, what would he do?
That terrified me more than anything.