"Mr. Elric?" Dumbledore said.
Ed glanced to Dumbledore, then with last look at the pink monstrosity, climbed to the stool. Once he was seated, he faced the crowd of students, and saw the excited faces on most of them that accompanied the increased din of whispering.
Professor McGonagall placed the hat on his head, and the brim sank down to nearly his neck, immediately blocking his vision.
'Super tall freaks of nature..'Ed thought. 'Even HATS are too big..'
"oh..my.." Said a small voice in his ear.
Ed startled.
"Who are you..?" Ed said in Amestrian, instantly suspicious as he actually FELT the thing rummaging though his mind.
"Such potential in here. What a fine, sharp mind you have. Such cunning, too. Bravery. Indeed, plenty of that. And you are no stranger to toil and effort..."
Ed hooked the edges of the hat with his thumbs and was about to toss it as far from him as he could when..
"oh..no. no. That won't do. Don't do that. How am I to sort you if you close yourself up like that? "
"It's MY mind." Ed said in Amestrian."You may be a soul bonded to a HAT of all things, but you have no right to..."
"You know THAT about me? My my..I can see you do. It's been centuries since anyone...Ravenclaw herself didn't even know. Please, Mr. Elric. I mean no harm, this is simply how its done. It is my role. I must match the attributes of each person to one of four houses."
Ed reluctantly lowered his arms.
"Vwell? I'm listening..."
"It's..ah..difficult. You've cunning enough that will fit nicely within Slytherin. I fear now that they know you to be Muggle-born, however, you'll never get along with most there."
Ed snorted.
"Your mind. So sharp. And such knowledge is packed within. Even I can't sort it all out. Ravenclaw would be proud to have you."
Ed nodded, not really caring.
"Your bravery..just astounds me..to face..THAT..."
Ed saw a brief flash of the Gate, and his hands instantly tightened into fists.
".. not only once, but multiple times..and from such a young age...and still be SANE...Gryffindor would be a good placement."
Ed forced his hands to relax. "Don't DO that vwithout varning me first." Ed said in a low voice. "Especially ..DHAT."
"Oh..terribly sorry..uh..Then there's the sheer effort you put into..well..everything. The simple task of walking, for instance, for you is..tsk..Hufflepuff would love you as well...I am having great difficulty deciding."
"Vwait..YOU..are to make decisions about my life FOR me?" Ed said. "No. No VAY am I.."
"It IS my role. You must be placed in a house while you are here. It is to be where you sleep, your family while.."
Ed had a briefest flash of Alphonse, soul and mind, flow through his head, and he bit his lower lip.
"..uh..sorry about that...I didn't mean..That was entirely accidental, I assure you..."
"Shut it." Ed said bitterly. "...Family, huh?"
"..that's the general idea..."
Ed thought of the past six months..of the people he'd been with..the only ones who were here at Hogwarts that were anywhere close to being somewhat like..
-GRIFFINDOR!!
"Vwha?!? VHO DO YOU TINK YOU..!!"
Ed heard loud cheering and quite a few boos. The pounding din of feet and hands on wooden tables. He lifted the hat off his head, and looked around bewildered. Hat held in both hands, he scowled at it --he could have sworn it winked at him as Professor Mcgonagall took it from him. He wrinkled his nose. He looked at each of the banners, then looked for the familiar faces of Harry, Ron, and Hermione. He found them under the banner that looked sort of like a lion --if you squinted and were drunk at the time. Table colors of orange and red.
Ed sighed. He hooked a finger under the robe at his neck and shifted the collar with a grimmace on his face. Then he picked up a sleeve.
"oh..Screw it." Ed said.
He stood up holding that same sleeve and finally let the energy flow. Blue lightening arched down his arm to his fingertips, and the hated robe deconstructed to something like ash that fell in a puffy cloud to the raised stage-like area. He then stalked over to the table-- the place he was ASSIGNED to now by the damned stupid hat.
Harry and Ron smiled widely and made room for him, and he sat between them. Ron slapped a hand on his back, then immediately shook it when he found he'd hit Ed's right port instead of his flesh and bone. Harry laughed and beat the ash-like material off his left shoulder. Hermione looked at him with raised eyebrows and an open mouth.
"Hate uniforms." Ed muttered, and shrugged.
The roaring din suddenly died down and Ed looked up. He saw most were turned to the raised table now behind him, and he glanced as well. Dumbledore was at the podium, the front of which was shaped into a sort of bird with outstretched wings.
"To our newcomers, welcome. To our old hands..welcome back. There is a time for speech making, but this is not it! Tuck in!." Dumbledore said, with outstretched arms, and a wide grin.
Ed turned his head back, and startled. Upon the table before him were all sorts of platters and trays filled with all manner of delicious smelling food. His mouth watering, he followed Harry's and Ron's example, and began filling his own plate. He glanced at Ron's overfilled mouth, and smirked. He glimpsed Hermione crinkle her nose when she looked at him as well.
Ed ate and ate. He had no idea what most of it was, so he tried a little of everything as it was there before him. The orange juice-- that wasn't-- was..interesting. He sipped it trying to figure out what it was. Harry looked at him with raised eyebrows, and Ron snorted at him when he looked at his face. He set it aside after a while and tried "yellow juice with the fizz on top", which tasted so much better.
As he finally reached the point where he was feeling pleasantly full, the din started to die down, and he vaguely wondered what he would have to pay for the meal he just enjoyed. Before he could begin find out, Dumbledore stood up once more at the bird podium.
"Well now that we are digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices. First years ought to know that the Forbidden Forest is out of bounds to students--and a few of our older students ought to know that as well--" Hermione, Ron and Harry shared a grin. Ed noted that with a raised eyebrow.
"Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me for what he says is the four hundred and sixty-second time , to remind you all that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr. Filch's office door."
"We have two changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creatures lessons; we are also delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."
"Tryouts for the House Quidditch teams will take place on the--"
Dumbledore stopped and looked over as a small, little girly "Hem hem" came forth from pink monstrosity. Ed saw she was standing, and facing them as though she were about to make a speech of her own. Ed scowled, and leaned his chin onto his left fist on the table.
:::
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