-Naruto-
He was still reeling from... everything.
As fast-paced as his previous training had been, Tsunade was right in how the Iryo Ninjutsu program was several times harder. The worst thing was that he had to learn how to revive a fish with varying amounts of chakra in his reserves.
He got antsy so many times and he was either too restless or too exhausted because Iryo Ninjutsu was boring and Naruto sucked at boring things.
But besides all of that, he was travelling at the same time- watching how Tsunade interacted with people she healed. Even though Naruto had his fair share of experience with poverty and the like, travelling through smaller nations was still a rude awakening.
He learnt that he couldn't cure starvation, or bring back limbs, or a missing lung, or change a miscarriage. He learnt how babies looked premature, how skin looked when exposed to harsh temperatures.
He'd trekked through bloody deserts, and grasslands that held who-knew-what, and endured acting carefree in Iwa where his father's face was literally used as a dart board in bars.
He'd picked up on similar dialects, he'd befriended monks, learnt how a suicide ritual worked, found out the hard way which hand signs were offensive in which country, prayed at a cult, and infiltrated casinos.
He'd even met Sofia's siblings in Kumo when his dumbass accidentally called out to her long lost older sister in the wrong language.
Naruto still cringed in second-hand pain when he thought of that. Although that was a stroke of luck. Samui and Atsui seemed pretty high up in the hierarchy, so this might even strengthen ties... Or if Sofia was even that politically significant as a foreign prostitute.
All at once: circling the Nations, healing people, watching Tsunade, sparring (getting beaten up)... and by the time he'd met Shizune, his mental faculties had begun to... die.
So when Shizune appeared with lean muscles that allowed her to swing Kubikiribocho like it weighed a senbon, not her usual conservative clothing, and information about the Yondaime Mizukage, Naruto's brain had fried.
Now, a few days later, he was still reeling. It felt like Naruto's life had been moving at a times hundred speed and Konoha's... to be frank, pansy atmosphere felt like a really boring stop button.
As he walked down the road, he could spy on shinobi lazing on the job, children throwing fits over their parents not giving them sweets, and he felt... like it was extremely shallow?
Perhaps it was the extreme change, or perhaps Naruto still had that deep-rooted bias from his bitterness, but he felt as though most parts of Konoha were... sheltered and irritating.
He brushed his thoughts aside as he saw the Hokage building nearing them. What impression was he meant to give to the old man? Was Naruto meant to call him 'Hokage-sama'? The thought of it left a sour taste in his mouth.
-Hokage's office-
"Yo." Tsunade flipped a hand up in greeting as she opened the door. Naruto and Shizune stuck their head through the crack. "We're back. Goodbye."
She shut the door and the three of them flickered away.
It wasn't like the letter had ever mentioned that they had to report back.
"Ah man, this is so fucken' boring..." Naruto linked his hands behind his head. "Tsunade-baachan, you should probably try a bit harder to hide your presence-ttebayo."
"But we can tell who's spying on us then. Only people trying to sense or gauge us can really tell how powerful I am." She cackled. "And it's fun watching people cower in fear."
"I really should reprimand you, Tsunade-sama, but I can't really judge." Shizune chuckled nervously as she sealed her blade into a specialised storage seal tattooed on her right shoulder.
Naruto sighed dramatically, "I'm dreading reactions for once." He'd lived so many memories and walking through this place made him think all the way back to the last time he was in Konoha... his parents being called traitors, the classroom hollering, the news of the Kyuubi, Mizuki, Sasuke-
Last time he'd fled from Konoha; this time he was just wishing that no trouble would be caused. (He used to crave attention, but this time he just wants to avoid it.)
His Konoha ex-classmates didn't seem so miniscule compared to the entire Five Great Nations and everything in between.
"Don't put on a Henge." Tsunade said quietly, looking serious.
"What?" He pointedly flicked his gaze over to the civilians who were casting him disdainful looks.
"Don't." She repeated. "You'll get stuck again."
"Ah." Naruto nodded. He could bear with this. (Although it feels like those glares hurt a lot more when he knew about the Kyuubi, of his parents, and when he knew just how kind people could be.) "Anyway, I still haven't decided whether to keep my clown act or not!"
"With Kakashi's brats, are you going to acknowledge that Wave happened?"
"Apart from Yamashiro who I should probably visit..." He made a cross with his fingers. "Boo. No way, no way. Wilful ignorance."
"You were buddy-buddy with Haruno and the Uchiha, weren't you?"
"That's under Namito's name." Naruto frowned. "She was always nicer to people who weren't me. Sure she wasn't obsessing over Sasuke, but I dunno; that shouldn't be something all that impressive. I guess I should think: 'what's not to like about her', but right now I'm just- 'what is there to like about her?'"
Something so flatly dismissive was something Naruto of the past never would have said, and it distantly surprised him how easily that sentence came out of his mouth.
Perspective, he supposed. Comparing the Villager's 'subtle' dislike and fear of him and Haruno's aggressive, but honest nature, he'd picked Haruno. But now? He'd met 'gratitude', 'maternal love', 'devotion', 'faith', such deeply passionate emotions that made Haruno's fits seem like... temper tantrums. Immature. Pointless. Childish. Annoying.
He doesn't mind hanging out with her, but as Naruto- at least- it just seemed too... troublesome, to borrow a word.
"I feel a little cruel for agreeing with you because ouch- you're generally super receptive." Tsunade replied blandly. "But I one hundred percent agree with you."
"And Sasuke's... just a headache on his own." Naruto made a face. "He definitely knew Namito was Naruto. How the hell am I meant to face him- WHAT." He yelled, swinging to jab a finger at this pesky ANBU that kept following them. It was the Jonin Sensei dude. Urgh. Even more annoying. He was their Sensei! "Fuck off, we're talking!"
"Naw, you really are unsettled by Konoha." Shizune patted his head. "There, there. Don't take your anger out on the poor ANBU."
"Bloody annoying." He tsked, voice akin to a whine. "That ANBU is fine to yell at. What do you want? Stop ignoring me; I can literally see your foot."
After a beat, the ANBU agent dropped to the floor, "Hokage-sama requests your presence, Tsunade-hime."
"Sarutobi? " Tsunade gave a near snarl, eyeing Naruto at the same time- How come he didn't ask for Naruto? "Why the f-"
"Oh boy..." Shizune eyed the ANBU, then Tsunade, then Naruto. "Sorry- I've decided that accompanying Tsunade-sama would be more reasonable. Have fun alone, Naruto."
"-Fine! You better ready yourselves in case a few buildings drop." Tsunade stomped one more time, causing a crater to form within the craters that had formed. "Hmph! Naruto, I'll catch you later."
"You don't want me to come?" He murmured without moving his mouth, darting a suspicious glance at the ANBU.
"It's a good idea to keep your changes in the dark." She muttered back. "You're sitting a pseudo-eval within the Chuunin exams; hide as much as possible."
He then slid his gaze to Shizune and without prompting, she told him, "He isn't gonna know about-" Shizune made a small swinging motion with her index, flicking it across the vague area of her neck. Kubikiribocho. "-Until Mei comes. He'll have to assume that Tsunade-sama had influenced my change."
"Ah." He gave a look of understanding before he stepped back, saying louder- "Well, have fun."
"Brat."
Naruto shot her a mock-hurt look as they all promptly left. After a pause, the ANBU left as well.
He huffed. Whatever. Might as well take a stroll. Desensitise himself again from these stares.
Naruto soon learnt to regret not putting up a Henge as-
"N-Naruto!" The warble was trembling, loud as it was. Haruno's voice. And it was strained.
He instantly drew the connection that no, Haruno still doesn't like Naruto. It was clear from her fake voice, her fake demeanour, and her chakra presence which was dripping in reluctance. God damn it, he shouldn't've expected anything in the first place.
(And there was the pressing thought that everyone in Konoha hated him- Just look at them all. Each and every one of them were glaring at him. Nothing good was in Konoha after all. He really wants to leave again. When will Shizu-nee and Baachan come back-)
Naruto slowed down his steps, wondering if she was faking the politeness for any reason in particular. Maybe she wanted to learn off Tsunade now? Lots of people would kill to be tutored by a Sannin. Naruto wouldn't let anyone snatch his mentor (family) off of him- Naruto cut his thoughts off; he was being irrational.
But was he? Just like how Haruno used to shoot Sasuke star-struck looks, he could easily imagine her latching onto another someone she wanted to have all to herself to satisfy her new obsession of becoming 'stronger' rather than 'prettier'. Besides, Tsunade had told him that Haruno had been one of her suggested students...
He slowed to a halt, turning slowly and masking his wariness with something he hopes comes off as respectful. Haruno had been less aggressive when he was Namito, so maybe she wouldn't hit him that much if he didn't act 'obnoxious'.
"What is it?" He asked quietly, hoping that she wouldn't take offense from it. She always did say his voice was annoying and would punch him whenever he opened his mouth. But then again, she said everything he did was annoying.
He assessed her reaction from habit, and with that, he tried to figure out just how he had had such a big crush on her. Well, she was what most adolescents would consider 'pretty': unique, silky, long hair; clear, pale, and smooth skin; delicate features and limbs...
But Naruto could name a dozen more women or even men, regardless of chapped lips or hollowed cheeks, who looked more beautiful. Because Haruno, no matter how expensive the conditioner, did not have that glow of love and gratitude and appreciation in her eyes that those people had.
And now her milky skin and noodle arms seemed ridiculous and made him hiss his breath in second-hand frustration. How easy her skin must break. How much her muscles would ache.
When Naruto had seen her in Wave, she had looked sickly. Now it looked like she was back on her skin care routine, and it wasn't like he was saying self-care wasn't good; just that asides from that improvement, there wasn't much else- unlike Tsunade who could punch craters with freshly coated nails. Shizune had ranted about Mei long enough to know that nail polish and lipstick didn't equal weakness.
He knew that Haruno, even after her strange change, had been disinclined to physical training. Now, her reserves were a little larger, and her control seemed to be far better, but was her version of a 'strength glow up' the same as the gruelsome, eat-dirt sort of training Naruto had endured?
Maybe Naruto couldn't tell because the training he'd gone through was so much harsher, but Naruto (overcome with negativity and a bubbling restlessness from being in Konoha) couldn't help but undermine whatever improvements she'd gotten, inwardly sneering and assuming that her 'training' was probably throwing a few kunai before she got tired, or learning how to weave Genjutsu around her manicures and thinking that was enough.
He couldn't help but (childishly) compare the two of them (look down on her) because Haruno was someone who boasts of 'top kunoichi' and had sneered at Naruto so many times for being stupid and lazy and weak and ill-mannered and-
Under 'Namito' he could ignore that past of his, but as Naruto, he could not.
Namito could ignore how she'd looked at him with such disgust, such irritation- like how someone would look at a piece of trash stuck to their shoe. Namito could ignore the multiple hits he took, the undeserved bashing and reprimands. Under a physical change, a layer of chakra distancing himself from the scene, he could say 'Sakura-san' without feeling like he wanted to punch himself in the throat.
As Naruto, he could only think of the last time he'd seen her. He felt embarrassed and angry on behalf of his old self and he couldn't help but translate that emotion into his view on her now.
Like how she used to pick on him for being an orphan and he had felt so humiliated and upset, but now he was just infuriated-
Her face twitched and Naruto watched as a range of emotions flicked through her eyes- hesitation, confusion, doubt- before it settled on anger. Damn, in this way, she hadn't changed at all. She'd gotten more confident, but was that to her benefit? She'd gained some spine, but did this make her overly ambitious? She'd gotten independent, but should someone like Haruno be independent?
Her presence felt betrayed as if it weren't Haruno who had acted like such a bitch to him. Her polite façade broke down to a vulnerable self-doubt before false bravado covered it up.
"Hey! Watch your attitude! How could you speak to a lady-" She then promptly stopped and Naruto took the opportunity to speedily walk away before his aggravation made him do irrational things. Haruno was a future comrade after all; it wouldn't do for him to immediately pick a fight as soon as he returned.
More importantly, he didn't want to be on any standing with Haruno. Not rivalry, not really comradery, not even hostility. Just indifference- Please?
Jesus Christ, he really should have taken the time to actually study her character in Wave instead of just chittering about how to get them stronger. But then again, it would feel like deceiving if he conducted a personality analysis under his disguise; unless it was for pranking, something like that shouldn't be conducted on allies. Also, their Jonin Sensei's lack of Sensei-ing was a sin and someone ought to fix it a bit.
"O-Oi, where do you think you're going?"
Argh, he couldn't be bothered to turn back around and so he continued to stroll down the road.
There.
That was a clear dismissal. Now she could just huff and turn away. Easy peasy. No need to-
Oh right, but Haruno had a big ego to cover up her insecurities and god if Naruto didn't hate that ego; the one that made her blindly lash out without seeing reason. What a child.
"Look." He said irritably when she walked towards him, continuing to spout some 'manners' and 'be nicer to girls, you inconsiderate buffoon' bullshit. "Let's not waste our time and be real for one little moment. I annoy you, and-" It changed now. "-You annoy me. So leave me alone and-"
"So you aren't going to ask me out on dates anymore?" And the voice was snide, and spoken through a sneer, so unlike the girl 'Namito' had talked to. Naruto felt his mild, exasperated annoyance flare into something colder and darker.
He'd been trying so hard not to completely scream at her from sheer anger and now she-
Don't bring up the damn past. Especially not something like- embarrassment, self-loathing, disgust, howcouldhehaveactedlikethat- his 'infatuation'. It was immature and foolish, but even now he felt unreasonably upset over that aspect of his life. It had mostly been a farce anyway, created only because she liked Sasuke.
(He hadn't known any love back then, yet he used to say 'I love you' to Haruno all the damned time.)
The increasing disdain, the mild dislike- It clashed horribly with what had occurred half a year ago.
"Urgh, you're such a bloody annoyance, Haruno." Naruto snapped before tugging on his chakra and flickering away.
He was not off to a good start.
-While Sakura...-
Naruto looked really different. He looked... almost cool. He didn't have his big, obnoxious grin anymore and his hair was styled differently from before as if he was pretending to be older than he actually was. His ugly jumpsuit-thing was also gone. He was dragging his feet the barest bit, glancing around with something akin to dislike.
Sakura gulped- She was going to do this; she was definitely going to fix this. Slapping on her smile and bringing up her plastic confidence, she let her voice cut through the air and she winced as it came out sounding so horribly fake.
"N-Naruto!" With nerves highly strung, she felt irked as he slowed down, pausing for a bit before taking his sweet time turning around to face her. It made her feel a little humiliated and... defensive.
"What is it?" He said neutrally. His face was carefully respectful, but it felt like he was... mocking her from the overly polite tone. He was being totally fake! Naruto was never like that! He was always loud and brash and too frank for his own good.
The old Naruto would have chirped up with an overly loud 'Sakura-chan, were you calling for me?' but she knew he had changed though she thought he would have been nicer.
Namito had been charismatic and friendly, so why is Naruto looking at her like she's a stranger- Was he impatient? With Sakura?
She felt her temper flare; how could- how dare he act so distant? After all Sakura had done to better herself, he was still disrespectful of her! He knew that Sakura had changed and was he looking down on that? Namito hadn't, so why was he?
Besides, who was he even to look down on her? He was always the one who'd ditched classes and Sakura was top kunoichi. Naruto used to always clamber for her attention; he would rejoice when she faced him even though it was because Sasuke was behind him. And now-
Sakura had changed so much and he was so dismissive of her.
Sakura was the one getting up early to take a walk. Sakura was the one who began studying Genjutsu like nobody's business. Sakura was the one who managed to amend her friendship with Ino and help Hinata. Now she was trying to make up to Naruto but here he was, acting like a- like a brat! And the Sannin really picked him over her?
Confidence is key. Ino had said that she should always stand up for herself, and she would not take this-
"Hey! Watch your attitude!" She snapped, drawing back her shoulders and watching for a flicker of surprise because Sakura had changed. She was stronger, and he should know it.
But Naruto's expression didn't budge- if anything, it soured even more. This was meant to be the moment where everything worked out.
Everything was going amazing. She was on equal terms with Ino, who had seemed so far ahead of her. She stopped dieting even though it would make her sick a lot. Inner had gotten quiet and stopped bothering her. She stopped spending her time thinking about Sasuke. She even bought a ton of new shinobi clothes even though most of them looked incredibly unflattering on her figure. She'd wrestled against her instincts to go back to her old self every damned day for months and it had been so tiring. Sakura- She would never say it aloud, but-
Sakura was perfect.
It was obvious from how many boys had asked her out. Hanako compliments her all the time, and she could now take them without feeling the creeping discomfort of imposter syndrome.
She had friends, resolve, confidence, intelligence, strength- so why isn't Naruto... clicking into place?
It was meant to go easily: Naruto becomes even more impressed with her, and he would bashfully ask her out on a date, and then she'd kindly decline him despite his persistence and ask to be friends and Naruto would be more than happy with that.
After that, Tsunade would look at her and feel impressed by her change and improvement, and would ask to tutor her upon seeing how talented she was. The Sakura before wasn't good enough, but now she was.
Naruto wasn't suited for Iryo Ninjutsu anyway; he was much too brash and irresponsible, and surely it would be a hard time for both of them- especially considering how he had a bunch of attention problems that Sakura didn't have.
He was really nice and gentle as Namito, but Sakura knew what he was actually like: it was just his nature.
Sakura had studied Naruto's personality because she had been worried about the weird event in the classroom, and now she knew him like nobody else did. That was the pay off for her study, so Naruto's foolery didn't deceive her.
He was much better suited for combat because he wasn't delicate like Sakura. Even after her fitness level got up, she still couldn't keep up with Team 8; she obviously worked with smarts instead of muscles, so Iryo Ninjutsu was perfect for her. Sakura could study and read, and dress wounds, and her handwriting was really neat. Besides, most medics were female as well and surely Naruto didn't want girly things.
But Naruto hadn't gone by what he should've... Why? Naruto didn't have to act like he wasn't in love with her because he wasn't Namito! So... was he... playing hard to get? Because he thought he was better?!
"How could you speak to a lady-" Sakura cut off her sentence, grimacing at how she always snapped to that default when she felt attacked. Naruto was still meant to know that a girl's feelings are delicate! She hurried to rephrase her reprimand when she realised that he'd already turned around and started walking away from her.
Something hot and bitter flooded through her and she jogged to catch up to him while hastily trying to repeat what she was trying to say- How was he walking so fast?
"Look." He cut her sentence off and levelled a flat expression onto her, irritation coating his words. "Let's not waste our time and be real for one little moment. I annoy you, and you annoy me."
Sakura's mouth dropped into a little 'o', feeling a sting of hurt. That was going too far! Didn't he even think about what he was saying? He would never have a chance with Sakura if he said something like that.
"So leave me alone and-"
Leave HIM alone? That's what Sakura used to say to him, and-
...Naruto... didn't like Sakura anymore? Is that what he was implying? How was that possible? Naruto? Naruto? Not liking her?
It coloured her emotions in an ugly colour- a feeling she hadn't felt for a long time and to think that it was Naruto who caused it...
"So you aren't going to ask me out on dates anymore?" She felt her face twist into something mean- an expression she used to make all the time when mocking Naruto and his lack of parents and manners and 'anything good'.
She could have started like that- He should have appreciated how nice she was being before. By now Naruto was just asking for Sakura to speak to him horribly. Naruto and Sakura hadn't even been friends before- She was just trying. See how he felt when Sakura stopped.
Sakura had meant this to work- not for him to come up and... act like that. Why had he acted so nice and cool when he was Namito then? Which one was real? How come Naruto could even 'act'?
Sakura was confused, incredulous, indignant because Naruto used to worship her!
He used to always smile and beam at her even if she'd smack him around a bit. Naruto loved her so much and he couldn't just- how could he just- It wasn't fair! Sakura was doing all this to try and become better- She'd done it for him- No, she'd... Sakura had... Sakura- She shoved her confusion aside. And now-
Was he trying to get her to beg or something? For forgiveness? What did he want her to do? What- Now that he'd got to train with a Sannin, he thought he was so much better? That Sakura was beneath him? He thought that because Tsunade had picked him, he could stomp all over Sakura?
Naruto used to slave himself for her attention!
Sakura used to be leagues better than him!
His eyes- colder, more distant, smarter, different- narrowed as he peered at her face, none of the admiration or puppy love that used to be there. There was none of his obnoxious smiles that scrunched up his face, nor the constant cheer- He was-
'Cooler.'
And the thought made Sakura want to slap herself in the face. How messed up was she to think that the colder a person was to her, the cooler they were?
The comparison between the 'stupid' Naruto, the Namito she realised that she had begun to idolise, and this Naruto she did not know was too jarring. Sakura heard Inner whisper something about her defence mechanism, and she replayed the words over her head.
They had barely traded any sentences, and it was she herself who had quickly drawn to ugly conclusions- But it wasn't all her fault! Naruto shouldn't be so disrespectful! Naruto couldn't just fall out of love like that. Especially not when this version of Sakura was so much better.
Then another voice appeared in her mind- from a conversation that occurred after the classroom incident, a few days after Ino and Sakura had rekindled their friendship.
"Do you think when you speak, Sakura?" Ino had said randomly, with a conflicted look on her face. "Like that day... You never spoke, or tried to discuss with me- ... -But I was your best friend, and..."
Ino had given a smile- a painful looking thing- during that conversation and Sakura hadn't understood what that smile meant.
"...Now I think back to it... Sakura, what were you even thinking? Were you thinking at all? Have you-"
"Urgh," Naruto mouth curled upwards into an expression like he was trying to hold back disgust. "You're such a bloody annoyance, Haruno." He snapped before, without a single seal or anything, disappeared in a swirl of wind and leaves.
"-Even apologised to me?"
Sakura thinned her lips, and under her indignation, hurt, and anger, she couldn't help but think that she was always missing something.
"Do you think when you speak, Sakura?"
"Huh? What are you talking about, Ino?"
Ino set down the watering can. "Like that day... You never spoke, or tried to discuss with me about whether or not I actually liked Sasuke."
'Sasuke'? Hadn't it always been 'Sasuke-kun'? Did Ino copy Sakura and stopped liking him?
"Just two days before that day, I'd openly claimed that he 'strut around thinking he was all that'." She continued with a tone that Sakura couldn't pick apart. Ino's voice progressively grew louder before- "I never ogled him, I never did anything that showed I liked him; you were the one staring at him, you had your eyes on him, but I was your best friend, and-"
-Before she cut herself short and let out a scoff that made Sakura flinch.
"-And based off some rumours, you threw our friendship in the bin, and handed back that ribbon I gave you."
"Ino..." Sakura said warily. Why was she bringing something like that back up now? They were past that. "We were just some kids, and besides, you gave him that flower-"
"That flower symbolised friendship and happiness!" She yelled and Sakura's eyes blew wide open as she took a subconscious step back. Why was she making it such a big deal? Was she on her period or something?
"It was a sunflower! Not a goddamned red rose!" Ino gritted her teeth, looking away sharply. "Then it spread around and apparently I was deeply in love with him. I had just wanted to befriend him! Instead I lost a friend! I lost you! You thought Sasuke was the link between the two of us, and not only was that completely wrong, but it also caught Sasuke in the middle! I keep trying to tell you things you do wrong, how to improve, and letting you off the hook because I know you'd been a victim to your own mind."
Ino gestured to her, "You've got your own 'Inner Sakura' and you're a psychological mess, but I'm just a kid as well! I can't act for that long without being affected as well! All this mess, all this drama that somehow seems to be my fault..." Her knuckles were white and the counter creaked under her grip.
"...On what basis..." She whispered, voice thick. "Did I deserve that?"
"Ino, what are you talking about-" Sakura pressed her lips together. "Aren't we friends now?"
"Should I have accepted you back?" Ino shot out, tone so much more tired than Sakura had ever heard it before.
"I've been thinking about it for so long. It had been simple at first: I hated bullies, and I saw you as someone who could become beautiful. What had happened? I got thrown into the dirt. I moulded my personality for you. My life thereafter was dictated by you and the unwanted rivalry you declared, whether you intended to or not. You believed that the world revolved around you because I saved you like how main heroines get saved. As soon as you change your mind, I automatically welcomed you warmly, scrambling myself to meet to your standards. Should I have? You broke it off, not me. Why were neither of us surprised when I accepted you back like this?"
Sakura had heard Ino speak many long speeches before, whether praise or complaint, and she could never match Ino's ability to rant passionately and convincingly and Sakura didn't know how to feel when that rant was about her.
What sort of nonsense was she speaking? The world revolved around Sakura? Sakura never thought that! She had always been bullied, so was Ino trying to do the same? Because Sakura was changing and Ino was... jealous? Sakura must really be amazing if someone like Ino was jealous of her.
"...Now I think back to it... Sakura, what were you even thinking? Were you thinking at all?"
"Ino," Sakura tried to placate. "Of course I was. I just wanted to match up to you-" Ino had been her goal; Sakura had wanted to be her rival. She didn't understand what the fuss was about.
"Were you thinking about me? My feelings? My perspective? What I wanted? Sakura..." Ino shook her head lightly, brows lifting as she gave a humourless smile.
"Have you even apologised to me?"
Sakura had not given an answer to that question.
Sakura was motionless in astonishment. "What- You're saying it's my fault? You're blaming me?"
Fear had flitted over Ino's face in that moment, but Sakura had been convinced that she had imagined it.
After a few beats of silence had passed, Ino had then laughed and played it off and Sakura had accepted it. Their interactions had been completely normal afterwards. Ino had not changed thereon. Sakura had then brushed off the incident without giving it even a second thought.
Sakura had not even considered the possibility that Ino would 'act'- could 'act'. Sakura had not considered the possibility that Ino would have cared.
Because Ino was so powerful and strong; Sakura had never seen her cry or falter. How could Sakura have hurt her?
Sakura had not given an answer because she didn't think she had done anything wrong.
But if she were to reply, the answer would have been 'no'.
Sakura had not apologised.
And she kept repeating the same mistakes she didn't even know she made.
-Naruto-
He was seething with frustration and of all people to have found him next, it was the second girl who Naruto slapped on the list of people he 'would very much like to not see for a certain long period of time'.
Naruto had landed outside of Yakiniku Q, so when he felt someone tap his shoulder, he really should have expected one of the three- Akimichi, Nara, Yamanaka- and bad was his luck because it was Ino. Yamanaka.
He inwardly winced. Arguably, Naruto disliked her even more than Haruno. It stemmed from jealousy, and an incredulity that someone as privileged as she would match with Haruno.
But unlike Haruno, she did not speak. She looked at him without any sort of expression, and waited for him to react first.
Oh who was Naruto trying to play mind games with? If she also lost her 'fangirl-ness', the Yamanaka would be one of the trickiest people to converse with. Naruto had a trick up his sleeve though: sensing. Because of how the Kyuubi's seal had loosened a bit after getting beaten up so much, he could link its animosity to a spectrum of emotions that he could link to other people's presences.
"Hello. What's your problem?" He asked neutrally, internally grimacing as nothing that came out of his mouth seemed as naturally amiable as it had been when he was in foreign Nations.
There wasn't any fake persona she put on. Her presence didn't show much either though; a little bit of wariness, but more curiosity, and a heavy determination that linked with pride. Pride? Of what?
Yamanaka's eyes flicked to meet his eyes and he didn't know what she saw there as a satisfied smile spread across her face.
"If I have one, it isn't in talking with you." She replied smoothly, making him do a double-take at the weird response.
"Th-That's good to hear?" He scratched his cheek.
"I like your haori." She randomly commented as she subtly scanned his frame, narrowing her eyes in contemplation. "Are you busy?" Then her eyes darted around, chakra flaring in a manner she didn't bother to hide. "You aren't busy. Let's have a chat."
"Um." Naruto really should escape, but so far she didn't seem to want to hit him. "Sure. I don't have money on me."
"No problemo." She waved off as she waved him over to an empty table. "You see, being a heiress, I found, has a lot of perks. One of which being the ability to send my bill to Dad! Ha-hah!"
That was... very different. Naruto narrowed his eyes in speculation. Yamanaka hadn't changed much, which seemed to contradict his very own thoughts, but it seemed like... she just removed a mask.
'Like me.' He internally 'oh-ed' in understanding. Just like how his prankster personality had been partially exaggerated, Yamanaka's personality also had been like that. She was still confident- he could see it in how she walked- and cared for her looks, but it was less excessive and dramatic.
Unlike with Haruno, Yamanaka's default wasn't someone Naruto disliked. It was the persona she formed afterwards that he loathed.
She was similarly unfit like Haruno with pathetic limbs and invisible muscles. If anything, she'd gotten even more stereotypically 'beautiful' over the time, or maybe it just looked so when the nasty expression was gone.
Her chakra, on the other hand... had tripled. It wasn't much compared to Naruto, and she was probably just catching up, but he could sense the skyrocket of spiritual energy within her. Additionally she had control as fine as his. Even chakra capacity aside, that was pretty impressive. Haruno's had fallen a bit short because Genjutsu don't require that much control.
The perks of Clan children?
It made him think how much better Yamanaka could've been if she hadn't acted so stupid in Academy. It wasn't like she had no one like Naruto.
He was still turning over his thoughts as he took a seat, facing her.
"Oh, so silent?" Yamanaka mused. "Is this your first time on a date?" Her tone implied that it was a joke, but still, he felt the need to counter it.
"Feels like an interrogation." He muttered nervously, wringing his hands under the table. Naruto was starting to feel a little impatient, and already within half a minute of sitting down, he felt like bolting.
"Well I'm not doing a very good job at coming off friendly then," She murmured. "Okay." Yamanaka narrowed her eyes as she seemed to come to a conclusion. "Let's make this place an 'Honest Place'. I'm not gonna bother pulling out some tactics to make you comfortable; you aren't going to try and hide your emotions; I'm going to say what I want to say outright."
Naruto blinked in shock.
"This is our 'safe zone'. When us three are together like this- all alone- we're safe. That means no need for yelling or faking emotions- I'd be able to figure out when you're lying anyway."
"I believe you deserve some things from others and I, and I have things I wish to say, and I'm going to impose on you." Her lips quirked up in a smile. "Do be patient."
There was a sense of distance coming from... the lack of addressing, he realised. She hadn't called him 'Naruto' or anything, and she was mirroring his demeanour.
"Ok, uh sure. I'm fine with that." It felt like she was taking mental notes on him!
"First of all, welcome back." She listed. "Second of all, I want us to start over again. Third of all, I want to apologise for how I've treated you in the past."
Naruto opened his mouth in surprise. What. What the hell? That was so forward! "Uh, there isn't much, um. Need. For all, er, that."
This was too formal! No! Naruto did not like!
"Why not?" Yamanaka's brows then slammed down and Naruto jerked. "Don't tell me you expect to continue dealing with people like past me, or past Sakura?"
"No," Naruto wrinkled his nose. "I just... don't care."
"Oof, that stung." She hissed, rubbing at her hand as if she'd been hit. "Well indulge in me because don't I know how much I have to apologise for. The insulting, the hitting, the ignoring... I'll save you the long-winded speech; your eyes are nearly as sharp as Dad's, so I don't think elaborate apologies would even work. Hah, I hate admitting that I'm wrong, but..."
Yamanaka put both hands on the table and leant forward, eyes meeting his: "I'm so sorry. I've worked to do better, and I'm still working to do better. You don't have to forgive what I've done in the past, but I really don't want to have my past stupidity prevent us from working together in the future."
Oh. Sincerity. Okay. Naruto could sense sincerity in her voice and presence. There wasn't really much to say then. "I forgive you. No harm don-" Inner-Tsunade shot him a glare and he rewound. "Wait. Yes harm done, but I'm being real: don't worry about it. You only hit me cuz Haruno hit me, and you could've done way worse with the insults."
Being a pro-manipulator and all, he'd only seen her do it for good. Her insults had mainly stuck within the 'airheaded, defensive fangirl' zone with 'idiot' or 'moron' or 'ugly'.
"You're an anti-bully, your flowers are pretty, your Clan seems awesome, so why the hell not?"
Having someone as his ally was good- especially if that someone would grow up influencing information flow. He was more like getting lucky here. (Not to mention the pranks he could pull with someone like her on his side-) His inner-Shizune told him it was not the time.
...But then again Shizune had changed into a sword wielding scarier woman, so he wasn't really sure anymore.
Yamanaka paused for a moment, seeming surprised before she grinned, a real thing. "Brilliant. Now that that's aside, I'm sure you know how nosy I am. I'm damned curious about what happened, so why don't we do an info swap? I'll tell you everything juicy going around here, and you give me a run down on your journey."
"No." He made a petulant expression. "I've done enough bartering to know that that is an unfair trade. Have you heard of Kage Bunshin?"
"The Jonin-level technique?" Yamanaka raised her brow. "I knew it. Shika and I tag-teamed that and we both gathered enough evidence to determine what had happened the day you left. You can do Kage Bunshin, huh."
"Mm. It means that there's about a million experiences I'd gone through, and about a million times the amount of information you have." Then he prompted, "'Shika'?" Last time he knew, they hadn't been on that friendly of terms.
"How about one question each. Deal?"
After a beat- "Fine."
"Tsunade-hime's words drove home. Sakura was more obsessed over proving herself than over Sasuke, and I had never really liked him. It turns out that this rivalry and obsession had influenced my life quite a bit, so after fixing that, I fixed relationships with Shika, Chouji, and my Dad."
"Huh. Good for you."
"Circle of close acquaintances? Names only are fine."
"Senju Tsunade, Kato Shizune." She had said 'close'.
"Who gradu- No. ...What are the Genin teams?"
"Team 7: Yamashiro Hanako- now removed, Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura under Hatake Kakashi. Team 8: Hyuuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shino under Yuuhi Kurenai. Team 10: Ino-Shika-Cho under Sarutobi Asuma. A year above us is under Maito Gai: Hyuuga Neji- Hina's older cousin, Rock Lee, Tenten."
Naruto... could not memorise that, but he recognised most of the names, so he should be fine.
"Do you not like it in Konoha?"
"Of course I-er..." Naruto had a weak spot for 'specialised places', he quickly learnt, as lying felt bad. "Of course I don't like it here. It's boring and the people suck. Hokage-jiji called away Baachan, and Shizu-nee followed her there and now I'm alone in this boring place and Haruno talked to me when she obviously did not want to and she turned my bad mood into a worse mood and for god's sake, if you're here to plan to make it a 'worst' mood, please get the hell out."
"...I've done it wrong." Yamanaka immediately stood up, making him go wary. "Let's relocate. Catch some ramen with me, Uzumaki."
"...You're scheming something." He squinted at her. Yamanaka was bribing him and she wasn't bothering to hide it. Naruto... was also falling for it. "Ichiraku."
"My treat."
Naruto felt a smile creep over his face and he slapped at it- Betrayal!
-Ino-
There were two reasons why she had approached Naruto: one, it was an investment, and two, she had made a promise to herself to be a Yamanaka heiress-worthy young woman. But upon scrapping herself of the fantasies, Ino was faced with more and more problems that surrounded herself.
It was hard to skirt around her not so good coping mechanisms, and face all her issues with humiliated determination, but it was working, and so she wasn't going to stop. The only two main issues that she could not entirely solve were Sakura and Naruto.
Ino recognised Sakura's superiority and inferiority complexes and had tried to deal with them. By fixing the latter, the former should resolve by itself. But Sakura turned out to be more reliant on them than Ino had expected and so by constantly boosting up Sakura... she had slowly gained a really touchy system where she was sweet and pretty quiet until something tapped on her past insecurities and her wounded pride would lash out to defend herself.
She gained a... heroine complex, almost. Sakura went out of her way to prove to everyone and herself that she was strong and independent. After the Genin exams, Sakura had kept trying to reach out to her team only to be shot down and avoided. This made her conclude that she had to do everything herself, but by doing everything herself, she was narrowing her own mindset and developing problems that Ino couldn't handle if she wanted to fix herself.
Being around Sakura was mentally draining, yet mentally relieving because she was caring and nice to be around most times; her cooking was also superb. Ino wanted to help Sakura, but she didn't want to risk their friendship or cause both of them to destruct, so she left that ticking bomb... to continue ticking.
Naruto was similarly like a bomb; an unknown one.
Ino could map ahead his changes, but the problem was: most of his developments had been stunted in one way or another, so it really depended on Tsunade's influence to see how he'd become. Ino had prepared for an introverted Naruto, a hateful one, a devious one-
The thing with being a Sannin's student was that it meant drastic changes.
It meant some dirt-poor orphan Namikaze becoming the Yondaime, and another dirt-poor orphan Anko becoming the Anko who constantly took her for impromptu lessons that were more pain, sadomasochism and sex ed than learning.
Naruto had the entire spectrum as a similarly dirt-poor, cognitively inept, mule-headed orphan.
...Speaking of Namikaze-
"Do ya remember me, Teuchi-jii, Ayame-neechan?" Naruto cried dramatically as he struck a pose.
As soon as Naruto'd turned into the Ichiraku stand, his demeanour changed from 'extremely suspicious and on the edge' to 'adorkable and soppy'.
She knew it. Ino could easily slide into her father's study and pick apart little bits of private information. Naruto's repeated requests to eat ramen with Sakura... his apartment... the decently popular ramen store near his place... Ino was shamelessly invading private information and bribing him, and she did not care at all.
The Yamanaka and Nara Clans were intelligence focused which meant bribing, blackmailing, extortion, infiltrating, and seducing with indifference to the individual's self. Unlike with most Clans, these two also commonly turn their tactics onto their allies which brings in therapy, conditioning, and interrogating.
"Oh, Naruto?" The man grinned. "You're back."
"Eh? Naruto?" The other young woman perked up. "Oh look at you- You'd gotten so cool!"
"Of course I did. I knew you two would remember!" He sniffed. "Two deities of Konoha-ttebayo! Just the usual and give me an extra sprinkling of Naruto, will you?"
"Of course! This one's on the house." Teuchi gave him a thumbs up. It was so... warm... compared to how everyone else treated Naruto. Who were these people?
"Lucky for you, Yamanaka-" The address felt like a slap in the face, but she had seen it coming when Naruto addressed Sakura as 'Haruno'; that was why she called him 'Uzumaki' anyway. "You don't have to pay anything then."
"Lucky me." She nodded. "Any recommendations?"
"You aren't on a diet?" Naruto hesitated- a thing he'd been doing many times in their interactions. Naruto practising caution was something Ino was still surprised to see despite her expectations of it.
She offered a small smile. "Is that your question?"
After a pause, he shrugged, "Yeah."
"Same answer as before. It was only my rivalry with Sakura that made me indulge in dieting. Dad was more than relieved when I stopped. So, any recommendations?"
"For you... chicken."
"You heard the kid." Ino inclined her head towards Teuchi. "Why is your hair in a bun?"
Naruto didn't seem to expect that question even though it was one of the obvious changes he had. "I hadn't cut my hair throughout the time and Baachan had pointed out that I looked like a hobo since it's so spiky. I had to tie it up somehow and- well, Tsunade-baachan has two pigtails... Shizu-nee has one ponytail..."
"Mhm." She prompted him to continue.
"So I have a half-ponytail!" He declared as if it made sense.
"That's it?"
"Mm!"
Ino opened her mouth, "Ah... I don't understand. Your turn."
"I don't know what to ask." Naruto shifted uncomfortably. "Name the rumours surrounding me."
"For every one, I ask a question." Ino told him warningly before she hummed in thought. "They aren't very pretty, so brace yourself: you tricked Tsunade-hime into training you, you were trying to escape the Village to run from your crimes, and... everything else was kinda a mish-mash of those two. There was also older ones-"
Kyuubi brat. Demon fox. Devil's spawn. Turns out the Nara's genius son and the sly daughter of the Yamanaka Head could find out a lot when they work together... Too much...
"-Regarding your... birth. They also aren't very pretty."
Shikamaru threw a report that he obviously stole from his dad onto their shared workspace.
"Sakura's already started to study her ass off in psych to figure him out as well." She said without looking up.
"I frankly don't care about dissecting his personality." Shikamaru shrugged. "I'm talking law and politics here; you're the better one out of us for that."
Ino lifted her head up from her book, eyes darting across the pages. "His parents are an S-Ranked secret." She narrowed her eyes.
"It's a bloody stupid move; if his parents were people that had to be hidden, they should've put in fake ones." Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Made me curious. How troublesome. Now I won't be able to sleep right til I work it out. Let's tag-team this, Ino."
Shikamaru returned to the door again, sliding it open before he turned to face her with an assessing stare. "You know, just like how we used to."
"...Sure." She returned a sharp, analytical grin. "Oh I can admit I missed this."
"Ack, that's enough." Naruto winced, looking like he ate something sour. Then he shot her another suspicious look, as if trying to pinpoint when she'd stand up and leave. "You have three."
"Are you stronger than Chuunin?"
Ino's Clan had jumped on her willingness to learn and it turns out, with a passionate father and a manipulative Clan, she and what Chinami had called 'her natural talent' could get very far in terms of progress.
In other words, Ino could sense that he was more dangerous than even some Jonin.
Then he smiled and it was a sharp, dangerous thing. "Definitely." Then he moved back to his ramen and it was like he had turned from a tiger to a kitten.
"Your clothing. It's expensive and different." Two implied questions. Clothing generally sets the first impression of people, and he'd swapped out an ear searing neon orange for this warm, muted, almost gentle colour. It completely flipped his image and Ino wanted to work out what the fuck had changed.
"It's a group theme. Take it or leave it. As for the cost... turns out I have the greatest luck when it comes to gambling. We just swapped out for prettier clothing."
He gambles. Ino inwardly frowned. How? What? Why? Tsunade-hime was known to be the Legendary Sitting Duck, so they might've gone there for her. What questions to ask...
"Feel free to ask for another question, but... what's the relationship between Sasuke and you?"
The speed at which Naruto's expression turned from curious to awkward was near comical. "We don't have a relationship. Urgh. We both had a... connection... I guess it was cuz we're both loners." He then made a sour expression. "But... because of... pride, or something, we didn't become friends. We became rivals. ...One-sided though."
Ino quirked a brow and he looked away.
"Jeez, I don't even know why that bastard..." Naruto paused, most likely trying to find a phrase synonymous to 'chased after me'. "...Yeah." How awkward. "I'm dreading meeting him again." He shivered.
"Oh," She had to fight the shit-eating grin off her face. "Why?"
"We said some cringe-worthy stuff." He muttered, shrinking a bit as he picked on his ramen. "And then I met him again in Wave under an alias."
"What alias?" Ino continued, inwardly 'oh-ho-ho-ing' and how she managed to find something he was willing to speak about.
"Namito." He waved his left hand and Ino was then facing a similar looking boy with different colouring. Side-by-side, Ino could tell the similarities, but it was off-set by the colour theme change with plum-ish purples and ashy blonde hair. "But I'm about 90% sure he knew I was Naruto. Awakened his Sharingan and acted super bastard-y and all that."
"Huh. That sounds like drama on its own."
"Puh-lease." He scoffed. "The entire Wave battle was drama. Didn't Haruno tell you?"
"Most of it, yeah. She also knew you were Namito. She figured it out after overhearing a screaming Hanako."
"...Ahhh snap. What. She knew?" He demanded, bouncing his leg in nervousness. "Then why was she such a bitch when we met again? Who else? What do the other Genin think of me anyway? Have they all changed?"
"That's a big ask." She said idly.
"I'll tell you about the time Baa-chan and I got arrested." He bargained.
"This is juicy." Ino commented before she smiled slyly, twisting up her spiritual chakra-
''Shikamaru. Chouji. Get your arses to Ichiraku.''
''What the hell? Why should I? You don't even like ramen.'' Shikamaru replied without missing a beat, voice taking on a whining edge.
''Don't be a baby! I'm a tough woman- I can take a few sacrifices for the right gossip! ''
''Troublesome. Fine. Naruto's there, right? ''
''Duh. Chouji, what about you? I'm treating.''
''Done.''
Naruto shot her a mildly scared look. "What did you just do?"
She gave a lipped smile, "Spill the tea."
"-And then-"
Shikamaru carefully walked into a half-empty stall with a tower of bowls next to a drastically different looking Naruto and Ino who was still on her first bowl. Chouji trailed behind, more occupied with his chips.
"-She slammed me into the wall and Baachan accidentally uprooted the building and then her brother cut the building in half for some dumb reason. Dumb because the building ended up falling on us if I hadn't blown it into pieces of debris that may or may not have left us with demolished buildings. I felt half my soul leave my body and I swear I thought my head would have flown off right then and there-ttebayo."
What.
"Long story short, after trying to kill each other, we decided: 'hey, why not be friends?' So we're friends."
Excuse him?
"I paid off the damage by miraculously bankrupting a few of the shadier casinos in Lightning's border that the Raikage couldn't be stuffed to handle, Tsunade-baachan has some friendly beef with A-occhan, and Samui-neechan was super chill, so we were let off the hook. It was a win-win."
"What?" Chouji asked.
"What." Shikamaru deadpanned dryly. "Troublesome."
"Another pseudo-sister... How large is your pseudo-family?" Ino asked, a tad exasperatedly.
"Um." Naruto cleared his throat. "Um."
"Ah." She nodded.
"Mhm."
-Naruto-
"N-Naruto-kun." Hinata... Was that Hinata? Her hair was shoulder-length, and since most Hyuugas looked the same, it was only really her demeanour that gave her away. There was only one stutter as well! Improvement! He never got how she kept 'N-N-N-Naruto-kun-ing'; it seemed so annoying to stutter so much.
According to the twin brainiacs, the Hyuuga Clan generally grew their hair according to their strength- some sort of tradition. So Hinata growing out her hair... More improvement!
"Hinata and Sakura started to get along after Wave. Obviously, I stuck my hand in it and helped her fix her depressing self-deprecation. It wasn't all us though; she had improved herself also- probably influenced by Tsunade-hime's presence as well."
"Because she trains even more than she usually did- which was quite a dang lot, FYI- and gained some guts, she's been on a roll with half the Main line, but the Branch line are looking at her warily. Hyuuga Neji, our upperclassman, is getting hissy, so I'm kinda scared for the Exams." Shikamaru added.
"Sakura tried to 'keep Hinata to herself' though." Chouji- surprisingly- continued. "She'd gotten super defensive after she got over Sasuke."
"She probably thought I was meddling." Ino sighed. "That I was stepping in the way of her becoming a 'big girl' and was going to puppet Hina or something. No way I'd do that to such a cute girl."
"So Naruto, you'll have to tread carefully with this year's rookie kunoichis." Chouji shovelled ramen into his mouth.
"Ino wants to drift- for good reasons." Shikamaru darted a look at Naruto that was blatantly warning him not to argue. "Sakura is too oblivious. Hinata is her own person, and apparently no one can see it." He continued flatly. "She's Hyuuga's good little heiress, but also the despicable failure that 'just got it lucky'. She's also Sakura's new project that she wants to complete to feed her own ego. Ino just loves making 'beautiful flowers bloom'. Troublesome females."
"Shut up, Shika."
Naruto hissed through his teeth, speaking up, "You should probably go honest with your friendship with Haruno. She seems a little... disillusioned."
Shikamaru snorted, voice the usual 'casually acidic'. "More like deluded. Stupid and dense."
"Sakura thinks we're still on good terms." Ino frowned disapprovingly. "Might as well keep it that way. She's had a lot on her plate-"
"Very small plate." The Nara coughed.
"-With Hanako and his leg-"
"Lack thereof." Chouji interrupted.
"Christ, Chouji, Shikamaru! Let me speak-"
There was a lot two geniuses under genius Clan Heads could do, he had found.
They had also informed him that Kiba and Shino had more or less remained the same- changing as per expectations. Stronger, more controlled, more confident... They were under Yuuhi Kurenai which Naruto thought was a bad idea for a teacher in terms of specialisation. She was famous for Genjutsus; the hell is she doing on a tracking team?
Naruto had also found out that Haruno was a mess. Not only did this mean that their Jonin Sensei a worse Jonin Sensei, but it also would make Haruno and his future interactions even more awkward. Now that he was leaning towards Team 10, he was slowly putting himself on the other side of Haruno.
Ramen Gods.
He used to think the Ino-Shika-Cho trio were one of the most annoying people, but now it was the opposite.
"Hyuuga." He greeted before adding a belated- "Hinata."- when her face crumbled. Ah, Naruto didn't really know these people, but he would feel bad calling them by their surname. "Shino."
"I am surprised. Why? Because you remembered my name, and because your appearance changed, and because I'm trying to hold back my kikaichu from draining your chakra."
Wow... Had Shino ever spoken so much in such a short amount of time? And regarding his kikaichu... it was most likely because he learnt Sage.
"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Kiba jabbed a thumb at himself.
"Oh, sorry." Naruto turned to the puppy. "Akamaru."
The Inuzuka bristled, and Naruto held back a snicker. No way would he not pick on Kiba even if it broke his 'try and be formal' take on his ex-classmates.
"Hi dog breath. You exist as well. A bad day for your teammates." It would be so fun to to drone out a: 'greetings, Inuzuka', but Naruto had missed the opportunity- maybe later.
"Shut your trap!" Kiba huffed. "And so? What's your deal with the, uh-" He scanned him up and down. "New get up?"
"I've turned 'debt times one hundred' to 'stinking, filthy rich'." He smirked victoriously. "You're lookin' at high quality grade stuff, my man."
"Bleh. One piss from Akamaru, and that goes into the trash." He smirked back, flashing his longer canines. ...Thank god for medical text books because he had been in shock the first time he'd seen them on people (and in Kiri where basically everyone had shark teeth!)
"Well." Naruto inclined his head. "Good to see you. Meetcha at the exams."
"What exams?"
"Kiba." Shino said haltingly. "You're an idiot."
"Hah?!"
"N-Now, let's not get argumentative, Kiba-kun, Shino-kun-"
Naruto continued about his way. Tsunade was taking her sweet time because it had been hours since she left. ...Naruto had no idea that gossiping could be so entertaining though.
Then he saw a kid getting bullied and he was not a man who would stand by and let that happen!...
"...Ahem. Aah... Punching kids is never interesting. Try bigger and stronger." Naruto shrugged half-heartedly as he fought a yawn. "Ramen Gods, do you have a dick so small that you have to punch brats that don't even reach your hip to satisfy your own ego?"
He dropped that kid real quick. Naruto chucked a string of chakra at the child and dragged him to his side before he could hit the ground. "Are you okay?"
"A-Ah! Niichan, you're super cool!"
He acted abashed, "Oh? I am, aren't I? Anyway, scram." Naruto made a shooing motion. "If you antagonised these people, learn to not antagonise people... that you can't beat or escape from." This was the King of Pranksters speaking; who was he to lecture that?
"O-Okay. Thank you! I'll make sure to tell my old man!"
Why should Naruto give a fuck about this brat's old man?
"Chakra strings." The weird puppeteer gasped. "You- How can you do them?"
Naruto stared at him like he was an idiot. "Magic." He replied in a breathy tone.
"Pfft-" The girl besides them snorted. "Kankuro, don't be an idiot. Puppetry may be Suna's speciality, but anyone can learn chakra strings." She then pointed at a rock and drew it to her hand. "See?"
"Super handy." He nodded in agreement. "You're cool. Can I see your fan?"
"Ooh, are you Fuuton natured as well?" She walked towards him, swinging off her fan. "These are super handy. You can bludgeon people with it as well."
"Oof." Naruto winced. "Don't use it against me?"
"Who knows, little boy." She bared her teeth with an exaggerated croon. "I do love the sounds of spines snapping."
"Wah..." He fanned himself, keeping his tone flat and indifferent. "Say too much and I might start fanboying over you. ...Or pissing my pants in fear." She was kinda scary though. She reminded him a bit of Tsunade. "I like befriending people who scare me! Let's be friends and try to kill each other with Fuuton Jutsus!"
"...You're weird." She narrowed her eyes. "...Why not?"
"What." Kankuro said flatly. "Temari-" He sputtered. "He called my dick small!"
"Oh shut up, Kankuro, is he wrong?"
"Excuse me?!"
"Temari. Kankuro." A quiet voice interrupted. "Don't cause trouble."
How dramatically they startled was almost funny. This boy was pretty good at hiding his presence- better than Chuunin even- but Naruto had been hiding from ANBU since he was a brat. Bet.
He slowly turned to face the oh-so-terrifying boy and saw-
"Gasp! It's a redhead. We're brothers now!"
He'd seen a few Suna people, and a few of them had red hair, but that vibrancy was half-Uzumaki-ish!
But he felt a little coil of fear at the lack of anything in his eyes. A blank, dead gaze. He'd never seen that before. Not to mention that chakra was-
"Damned tanuki."
What. Did the fox just speak? Oh no, oh no no- the seal was definitely weakening.
"Gaara..." Temari said nervously. "Of course. Come on. Let's go."
"Are you a Jinchuuriki?" He asked, making Temari shoot him a 'do you want to die?' look.
Kankuro outright hissed- "Are you fucking suicidal? "
With a sand Shunshin that looked ultra badass, Gaara stepped so that they were facing. "...I am."
"Oh that's cool." Naruto offered him a grin and the three of them did a double-take. His seal was fucked up...
"Tanuki's throwing a temper tantrum. What a brat."
What the hell, why is the Kyuubi speaking? Help!
"Are you..." Gaara blinked slowly. "Are you asking me to kill you?"
"No." Naruto explained slowly. Ramen Gods, Gaara was like a kid! Inner-Shizune was demanding the name of the person who raised this kid. "I'm... befriending you..."
"Are you..." He blinked again. "Are you asking me to kill you?"
"Gaara, not here." Temari said pleadingly.
"What? Why not?" Naruto demanded. "He can kill me whenever and wherever- Ack. Shut up, Naruto. I mean, why would he kill me at all?"
Kankuro sent him an incredulous look. "He's oozing bloodlust!"
"What? That lil itch?" Naruto frowned. That was nothing compared to the Kyuubi's natural energy, or even the killing intent Tsunade accidentally lets out when she's annoyed. "Oh right you're Genin. Figures. Anyway, don't bully kids please. Be on your way. Gaara, you better watch out. I'm definitely going to become your first friend."
Gaara blinked again before he winced in what seemed like pain, clutching his love tattoo.
"Migraines hurt." Naruto nodded solemnly as Gaara made low pained noises. "I know, buddy."
"Die!" He snarled in a way that almost made Naruto giggle. It was kinda funny. Then the blonde disappeared just before sand snapped at his heels.
Something was very wrong there, and the Naruto of the past would never stick his hand into that let alone find it fun.
But Naruto was quickly finding out as he met more and more people that he was not anywhere near the 'Naruto of the past'.
"Baachan you took ages." He hissed a second before she flickered beside him. "Where's Shizu-nee?"
"Finding out where to live and all that mess." She waved aside. "I took ages because I thought you might have wanted to catch up with your old fr- classmates." She gave a lipped smile. "So?"
"Team 8- the dog one, Hyuuga one, bug one- are cool. Team 10- the three musketeers- are cool-er. I haven't seen Yamashiro yet because I thought you would come back. I haven't seen Sasuke- thank Ramen Gods- but I saw Haruno and things are going down-down hill with her. I almost feel bad for her."
"Ouch." She hissed. "She could've become great if we took her along."
At that, Naruto gave her a sharp look because as much as he wants to get everyone happy and strong, he does not want someone like Haruno of all people to take Tsunade and Shizune away.
"Well, I've got horrible news for you." Tsunade cleared her throat. "You'll be participating in the Chuunin exams with Uchiha and Haruno under Kakashi."
He took two seconds of silence to comprehend that and the implications of that before he groaned. "Ramen Gods, no."