-Before: Tsunade-
She had been just a few metres away from the edge of the forest when she'd felt an influx of memories pour into her mind-
After a split second decision, she switched trajectories and-
She stopped on a branch.
"What are you doing here, Orochimaru?"
The rogue Sannin was alone, leaning against the trunk of a tree.
"To purposefully warn my Bunshin as well... What are you up to?"
"Mou, how rude. Not even a greeting, Tsunade?" He narrowed his eyes sharply. "Have you truly become a mere dog to Sarutobi-sensei?"
She gave an expression not unlike a sneer, "He wishes. Well 'hello', I suppose, may I ask the esteemed Orochimaru-sama what the fuck he is doing here?"
A grin cracked over his face, "You haven't changed at all, have you, Tsunade-hime? I was merely curious. The Senju Princess had a pretty sturdy motive to not go anywhere near Konoha. Then I hear that you've not only returned peacefully, but also became a mentor."
"Heh, I'm not surprised you only came because you were surprised. Immature as always." Tsunade rolled her eyes. "You want information then?"
"You know me so well, Hime." Orochimaru smirked. "I even bought sake. Shizune isn't here to boss you around, is she?"
"Nope," Tsunade grinned, not questioning how the man knew about Shizune. She caught the bottle smoothly, running diagnostic chakra through it even though she was near certain Orochimaru didn't poison it. She took a long swig after sitting down onto the branch. "Ah... I haven't had a single undisturbed bottle for ages."
"Parenting sure is hard, isn't it?" Orochimaru mocked with a teasing tone. He sat down as well, left hand leaning on the tree trunk as he crossed his legs, flinging hair over his shoulder.
He always sat with that haughty, majestic air, making the branch seeming more like a throne rather than an uneven stick of wood.
"Oh shut it." She made a face. "So you already knew I took on a student. Well, Sarutobi sent me a letter."
"A threat? Let me guess: 'return to Konoha, or I'll name you Nuke-Nin'? How predictable."
She nodded annoyedly. "He also pulled in the topic of Nawaki and Dan and guilt-tripped me down three generations. Blah blah about Hokage, Will of Fire, people dying and all that crap. If I had been just a little more drunk, I woulda taken that threat and gone back to the Village just to shove the letter up his arse and tell him that I was going to become a rogue. At least then I could escape my overflowing debt."
"It doesn't work that way, Tsunade, but I won't argue." The snake Sannin snickered, "I thought he was foolish; Sensei couldn't even deal with me; how could he deal with two Nuke-Nin Sannin?"
"He was arrogant." Tsunade cackled right back. "All those Council members had the audacity to treat me like their subordinate."
"You technically are, Hime." He deadpanned. "That's why being in the Village is horrible. It's limiting and suffocating. You even have to bow between monkeys like them. ...Obviously, that was not an offensive reference to Sarutobi-sensei's summons."
"Trying to bring me to the dark side, little snake?" She snarked, baring her teeth. "I hope you have sake and casinos."
Orochimaru wrinkled his nose, "Crude as always. Old age hadn't mellowed you at all, I see."
"I'm just a year older than you, slimy." She harrumphed, gulping down a quarter of the bottle in one go. "And so? What else do you want to know?"
"How you've been." He made a show of inspecting his nails. "Your little student."
"Ah," She eyed him carefully. "I've been better; getting less drunk and less gamble-y and all that. You probably already know who my student is, don't you?"
"Uzumaki Naruto, the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki." He mused. "How did you manage it? Sensei would've gotten an aneurysm, so I don't think it was..." Orochimaru arched a brow, prompting her to reply.
"Naruto, that amazing brat, turned Konoha upside down with a stunt. I managed to swipe him away right under their noses through a loophole." She gestured towards him. "You would know-"
"-Right. Mizuki-"
"-Fucked up." She ended with a laugh. "You were always so thorough. I don't even know how many spies you've planted."
He sniffed, "Better not go ruining my plans now."
She dipped her head, snapping her eyes up sharply. "At the end of the day, my loyalty is with Konoha, Orochimaru. Don't test me."
"Pity." He shrugged, not seeming surprised. "You might want to train up Naruto-kun well... You won't know what will happen."
Tsunade narrowed her eyes at him over the rim of the sake bottle. "Hoh? Was that a threat?"
"Not to you, Hime." Orochimaru purred.
She frowned, wondering what exactly he was insinuating. Train Naruto well? Was he going to attack Naruto- or Konoha? For what? The Kyuubi? But why would he warn her? 'What will happen'... What did that mean? Was it just another one of his cryptic sayings for the future? Something morbid like 'everyone experiences death sooner or later'?
Was it a warning about an external power targeting them? Who? The most recent mysterious organisation collecting S-Ranks? He wouldn't warn her if it was he who was attacking... would he?
Orochimaru smiled amiably at her inner turmoil.
"You're positively disgusting when you talk like that." She drawled, cutting the tension like it was nothing. "I don't need two perverts on Team 7-"
The cordial mask he put up instantly shattered as he bristled. "Don't compare me to Jiraiya."
"-And don't call Naruto 'kun'; it puts me off." Tsunade continued carelessly.
Orochimaru rolled his eyes, standing up and turning around. "Ridiculous. I shouldn't've given you sake. I'm leaving."
"Hmph, what a brat." She tsked, mirroring his action.
The stood, back facing each other, for a solid, tense minute, both trying to read each other's moves. Tsunade knows that she had changed drastically- something that probably surprised her more than Orochimaru. He was probably assessing her- loyalties, behaviour, capabilities...
They'd never really been true 'enemies'. They held mutual respect for each other, regardless of moral ambiguities. She hadn't breached the line of 'human experimentation' and she 'never would'... but of course she'd done something 'similar' under the less ugly title of 'downing enemies'.
It had been more than once where she'd taken notes on an enemies' reaction to poison on behalf of Orochimaru and vice versa. They had an unspoken acknowledgement of each other as scientists.
It was a regret of hers- to not truly understand just how Orochimaru turned that twisted: to experiment on children and innocent people. But Tsunade had been, and still was, rather selfish; she wasn't even personally disgusted by those actions because they didn't hurt anyone close to her. Jiraiya, on the other hand, a foolish man who wore his heart on his sleeve, had thrown a fit.
Orochimaru hadn't changed to her, but Tsunade had changed from the nihilistic, harsh and drunk gambling addict that she had been before.
And now he was wary.
Rightfully so.
"Hey Orochimaru," Tsunade said into the silence. "You touch Naruto, and I'll kill you."
There was an audible smirk in his reply: "...Given him the cursed necklace yet?"
Tsunade didn't turn around.
Orochimaru silently disappeared.
-Bridge battle: Sasuke-
It should have been obvious. No, perhaps he already knew.
Sasuke barely saw a quarter of Haku's face before he'd disappeared in a Shunshin, faster than his injuries allowed.
"No..." He whispered, as he sensed where the chakra went. "No, no-"
Dragging up energy, he felt chakra warm his legs as he sprinted right after him, Sharingan activating at his heightened stress. One moment he was metres away and the next- the chirping of Kakashi's Raiton attack was by his ear and Sasuke's eyes flicked up for a moment to meet the Jonin's panicked ones.
His arms were coming around Haku's waist, tackling him away as the lightning strike downed on them- no, on him.
Haku twisted them so that his back was facing the attack, a smile- gentle, surprised, thankful, affectionate- brightened his face, even as blood tumbled down his mouth, splattering across his clothes that were singed, a hole- a hole- ripping straight across his back, piercing straight through his right lung.
He felt warm liquid, thick and coppery splatter over his face, dripping down the collar of his shirt and staining his clothes.
Time shifted minutely, fastened then slowed, twisted around his mind's manipulation.
The colour of Haku's blood was engraved into his mind. The burst, the rivulets, the growing red in his clothing.
The Sharingan never forgets.
How it dripped from his lips, how it splattered and smeared, how the colour stained and bled through the tiny stitches in his clothes.
The burnt skin, shredded cloth, the kind kind smile that he wore.
They fell harshly, Haku onto his back and Sasuke on his side. He slowly sat up in a seiza beside the dying boy. Sasuke-... He didn't care in that moment.
How Kakashi yanked away his arm, lightning no long crackling in the air. Zabuza's laughter, Kakashi's strained voice, Sakura's scream- they were muffled and muted like static.
"...I'm sorry," Haku made out after rattling breaths. And those barely audible words were amplified in his mind. (His Adam's apple shifting, the throat moving, his mouth speaking.)
"Why is it always like this?" He muttered, upset to a confusing level. "Why is it like this? You- you absolute liar. After I said all that about... and- I... I-"
He couldn't make anything out. He didn't understand this feeling within him. It reminded him of That Night. And that night was full of...
"I hate you."
"...Do you?"
No, he didn't.
Since the Massacre, there'd been an excruciatingly short list of things and people that Sasuke 'liked'. This boy had, in the small moment they'd interacted, landed at the bottom of it.
It had been so long since he'd conversed sincerely, freely and by his own will. This boy had never given him the worshipping or pitying looks the Villagers had given him. He'd responded with genuine kindness, something he hadn't seen in a long while.
Perhaps it was the fact that he was a stranger, someone who hadn't seen the Clan mon (his brand, his cage, his chain- but his glory and pride, the legacy he loves and hates ) on his shirt.
Haku had no prejudices and even after hearing his story, he still held none.
Sasuke was hurt (from what though?), but he knew this wasn't betrayal. (Not like the nauseating devastation that he felt when Itachi flicked his blade, silver glinting in the moonlight-) If anything, he would've felt betrayed if Haku hadn't defended Zabuza. It would've meant that he lied- that his ideals were shallow and false.
Haku smiled, but there was red coating his teeth (a red he won't ever forget). "...This- It's... strange for- for me..."
"Me too." Sasuke admitted, "I don't... care for people. We're both emotionally stunted orphans, the last of our Clans. Maybe it's something like that?"
The cough sprayed blood all over the both of them. "'Ts a touching connection, Sasuke-kun."
Sasuke chuckled quietly and it came out twisted. "I told you not to call me that. It's weird. They just call me Sasuke-" The words died on his lips and so did the half-hearted excuse of a smile. Haku's gentle expression prompted him to continue.
"I think that's why I feel so upset. You remind me so much of my b... brother and mother, Haku. It's eerie."
"Have you not experienced kindness before? I simply did what any person would've done..." He trailed off. "I'm honoured."
His lips quirked up humourlessly. "If you were- If you'd been in Konoha, I probably would've wanted you as an older brother."
"O-Or perhaps a sister." Haku chuckled indulgingly. "'Niisan' would give you quite a bit of trauma, wou-wouldn't it?"
"I guess so." He replied, returning a bitter smirk. "And you're attractive enough to match it. K-Kaa-san would've loved you."
"Th-That's nice..."
"...I've never seen someone die in front of me- at least in real time." Sasuke continued faintly. "This is probably the first time."
"We both know that I don't have much time left." Haku's eyelids lowered. "What to do in these last times... heh, I don't really know. I feel like sleeping, I suppose, but battling that unconsciousness is hard. I don't... care much for last words... and all that. But Zabuza-san... I just..."
"In this world where some hated me and no one wanted me- needed me, Zabuza-san chose to raise me while knowing that. ...I was so happy."
"I'll tell Zabuza." Sasuke promised, feeling lost on what to do, what to say. "But I think Zabuza already knows."
He didn't feel the urge to save Haku, but it didn't feel like Haku would die.
"Y- You don't need to tell Z-Zabuza-san anything." His eyes sparkled, but the words were now barely whispers and he read his lips more than he heard his voice, "But thank you, Sasuke-kun, you're a very kind child."
"I don't know..." His hand grabbed for Haku's cold, calloused ones. "Am I?"
Was he a bad person, a good person? Back then, on That Night, it felt like his life was paved out for him already. A path of hatred, anger, revenge, and blood. He thought the only companions he'd need were the ghosts of his Clan, weighing down on him.
But Haku had looked at him with those eyes. Too wise, scarily caring. And for some reason, his opinion mattered.
"Am I a bad person- a bad person to you?" Because 'good' and 'bad' couldn't really be used in this bloodied world.
Haku smiled again, smaller, softer.
"Don't..." The exhale is shallow and he noticed how much blood had pooled around his body. It dyed his pants a deep red. "...Cry."
Sasuke's other hand reached up to swipe at his cheek and it comes away bloody. "...I've got blood on my hands and now on my cheek, so I don't think I can tell, but I'm pretty sure I'm not crying." A chuckle erupted past the thick lump in his throat.
Haku's following exhale was heavier than the previous ones, so he'd like to think that Haku was laughing with him.
"I haven't cried since I was seven- actually, I don't think I've laughed since then either, but I suppose I tr-... trust you, so I'll..." His voice dropped to a whisper. "So I'll believe you, Haku-nee."
"Your heart... It's crying."
There was a void in his chest- painful, tight, hot, but cold and numb as well. Like as if his Sharingan had replicated Haku's state of death.
The snuffed out flame of chakra, the distinct lack of pulse by his neck, the clouded gaze of his sightless eyes.
There isn't even a heat behind his eyes, and of course he still couldn't mourn properly, even as someone he began to care about just... passed, like that.
(He was long used to seeing dead bodies. Those three days where his parents died over and over again. The relentless nightmares that never stopped, even til this day. Even during consciousness, he'd blink and see drying blood between the floorboards.)
He could see his relatives in Haku, cold and pale with death.
He could see his parents, his friends, himself lying there although that'd be an unfair comparison because in contrast to Haku, Sasuke was a complete failure, someone weak, despicable and ugly. Someone who couldn't love, only hate but even that emotion was something he latched onto to prevent that blade from digging into his own neck.
Hate, after all, was the most ugly, but most powerful motivator. (Hate was the only thing he could grasp when he'd felt so dead. )
"You believe that you are full of hatred, Sasuke-kun, yet to have that much hatred means that you had an equally large amount of love."
"...Hey..." Sasuke said to the corpse.
(Corpse because Haku was dead. Gone forever. Not alive anymore. Not breathing, not talking, not smiling, not being that one person that Sasuke had understood to a visceral level because dead meant dead. Dead meant his mother, his father, the gentle older brother- where did they go? )
"Did you say those words to spite me? Why are you haunting me even after d- you've gone? Pushing all your ideals, morals, thoughts, inspiration... all that- that kindness onto me... You aren't even here with your 'precious person'- you aren't even here with me."
They just kept leaving, and leaving. One after the other. (Leaving him behind.)
"Don't be so opinionated." He spat. "Lecturing me even after you're d-..."
Sasuke let out a quiet laugh, soft volume contrasting the sharp edge to his voice.
"Aren't you cruel, Haku? You didn't even tell me that name. You told me so much more and I-"
"I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun, that you were alone, since the start until now."
He laughed, louder and louder, to drown out the painfully realistic voice his mind conjured, the memories that he just wanted to forget, and the unbearable emptiness in his chest that seemed to consume every little feeling he had left within him-
"You're dead for this precious person of yours," His voice dropped as he murmured, not acknowledging his flinch at the word. "Aren't you a hypocrite? Hey, Haku, answer me, won't you? I'm speaking to you- "
"You never had the chance to do anything- to prove your worth, to reach out, to truly feel 'love'. You've never known it, and that's just so unfair, isn't it?"
He laughed at the voice that responded him. It was another ghost in his head. He laughed at the stupidity of this- of life- of this world. What was with him? What was with this disgusting world?
This- This isn't fair. He thought, like a broken radio, laughing until his chest hurt and-
"It's unfair how you... how you're scared of the prospect of holding someone close, how you've been dealt this horrible hand. To not understand the overwhelming emotions of treasuring someone from the bottom of your heart."
-His head rang and-
"I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun, that you were alone, since the start until now." Tears- tears- had been in his eyes. "I'm sorry that your brother left you. I'm sorry that you've never, ever had that feeling of holding someone close to you."
-His voice came out more like silent, choked noises.
"I'm sure there'll be a time in the future, Sasuke-kun, where you'll have that. I'm sure you'll be happy some time in the future."
He stared into Haku's lightless eyes, blinking when a hand reached over to close them. Sasuke slowly raised his head to peer at Naruto.
"So please, until you are able to smile and laughter sincerely, you'll live. Properly. Live for that moment and if it never happens, die, and I will smile with you in the afterlife."
Naruto sat on the other side of Haku's body, silently mourning with him.
"It's a promise."
'Mourning' because Haku was gone. Just like that.
"Let's see how things are going... Ooh, you really got it this time." A short, ugly looking man with a cast on his left arm appeared, tapping his cane. "You disappoint me, Zabuza."
"Baa-chan." Naruto murmured under his breath. "Just stay here. The rest will be handled." Naruto eyed the mist, bringing up a hand to form a hand seal- he sensed many civilians- probably mercenaries... but no threats.
"Yeah..." Tsunade nodded lightly. "Handled by Kakashi, Zabuza, that Uchiha boy, or you, I wonder? That Haku boy seems to be very important to many people. Zabuza's heavily affected as well despite his protests."
"I hope that's true... If only Haku knew it earlier." Naruto replied softly before he approaching Sasuke who'd stilled by now, staring at Haku's sightless eyes with accusation, and jealousy. Yet for how malicious those emotions sounded, it seemed to Naruto that Sasuke had cared for Haku a lot.
He didn't know what to think of the expression on Sasuke's face, but it- it hurt him so much just looking at it. A mixture between disbelief and anger, and grief- one that weighed too sorrowful for Haku to have been anyone less than family.
Naruto didn't move even as the group of civilians confronted Zabuza and Kakashi.
"-Oh yeah... I owe this one. He squeezed my arm until it broke." Gato took arrogant steps towards them, uncaring of the two boys sitting beside Haku. "Heh! He's dead now-" The man drew back a leg to kick him-
Naruto didn't bother moving as Sasuke'd caught the leg without even looking.
Chakra rose, killing intent spiking. Two crimson eyes, each with three whirling tomoe, stared up at Gato. (Yet 'up' did not make the Uchiha seem any lower than the other man for even an instance.)
Sasuke didn't glare, didn't sneer, didn't spit. He stared at Gato with an icy detachment, a lack of motivation, yet the readiness to murder as he dared the man to move once more.
And foolish as he was, Gato tried.
"Get your hands off of me! Who do you think you are? What a retarded excuse of a shinobi-" The man's enraged words cut off into a scream as Sasuke snapped his fibula and tibia in one go, face still blank and impassive.
"Get lost." He intoned, voice flat. "We're busy."
With that, Sasuke released his hand, and ignored the writhing man and the mercenaries who helped him up. When another thug drew out his weapon, metal gleaming, Naruto rose in one smooth motion, chakra coating his right hand as he struck the nearest three mercenaries on the back of their neck, instantly knocking them out.
With ease and fluidity, he continued to knock out the stupider men who charged at him. He didn't care for them; no, he was looking at-
"Oi, oi, Zabuza..." Naruto gritted out, anger rising at Zabuza's mildly annoyed expression. 'Heavily affected'? Him? Naruto didn't care for whatever repressed emotions he was feeling because that man wasn't even aware that he'd loved Haku. Still loves Haku. "Care a little, won't you, huh?"
"'Care'?" Zabuza repeated flatly, head turned away. "Why should I care for a corpse?"
His fists shook, nails carving crescent moons in his palms. If he were to draw the parallels between Haku and himself, Zabuza would be sort of like Tsunade. Someone who gave purpose, someone who offered an identity, someone who they... loved with everything they had within them.
When he'd told Haku that he'd die to protect Shizune and Tsunade, he hadn't been lying. Naruto would have committed the same act that Haku had moments prior if it meant their survival.
And he cared for Tsunade and Shizune so much that it hurt- Haku had felt that as well, hadn't he?
And this man... This Zabuza had been Haku's most important person.
It made Naruto feel so indescribably angry. That this man would show so little care, so little love.
"As I was used by Gato, I used Haku. That's all it was. I've said it already... in the shinobi world, there are only those who use, and those who are used."
Why was it always that mentality? Why was it always one or the other? Was this entire 'shinobi world' blind, or was there something big Naruto was missing?
"We shinobi are simply tools... What I wanted was his blood, not him." Zabuza continued.
"His blood..." Sasuke echoed, rocking to his feet, stumbling back a few steps as he narrowed his eyes at Zabuza, Sharingan still activated. "It's always Kekkei Genkai."
"You would understand." The man commented loftily. "Sharingan, and all. People will only ever want you for your eyes and the only way to escape that fate of being used, you must become stronger than everyone else. This is reality."
Naruto bristled- damned 'strength', damned 'fate'.
"-I'm done with it all." Sasuke muttered quietly.
"Hm?"
"This cycle, this contemptible relationship, this never-ending tug of war..." The Uchiha raised a bloodied hand towards his face. "'Use, or be used'. The act of weighing one's worth on how powerful they are- on how useful they are... What does it matter?! Haku... His entire existence was shaped around you. 'Precious people' this, 'precious people' that. He was ridiculous." He hissed before his voice fell flat.
"He died for you. He loved you."
Sasuke scoffed as a kunai spun around his index finger. "And so long as you can look at his corpse without a shred of emotion-"
He lowered himself into a fighting stance, Sharingan pinned on the Kiri Nin.
"-I will never ally myself with someone like you."
"Sasuke," Kakashi stared at the boy with a worried crease in his brow, voice firm, but softer than he'd ever heard it before. "We aren't fighting Zabuza anymore. Not to mention-"
"Don't try to reason, Kakashi." Sasuke growled. "I told myself that I wouldn't kill a single person before Itachi, but Haku was... Haku's beliefs are..."
"Haku's beliefs don't matter." Zabuza exhaled hollowly.
"When a person has something... important to protect, that is when they can truly become strong."
"-Like tools, our lives just eventually run out as our use runs out. This is just how-"
"Shut the fuck up!" Naruto snapped. "Does everyone strong become like you? To become powerful... is that what you have to sacrifice?" He could barely restrain a shout, a yell, an ocean of confused screams that want to flood out. "Do you feel nothing at all? "
"For me, becoming a shinobi completely is difficult. If I can, I don't want to kill you and I don't want to get killed by you."
"You raised him, taught him, gave him meaning and belonging- For how much Haku loved you- Do you really feel nothing at all? " Naruto shook his head furiously. "I don't want to believe it. I don't believe it. I... don't trust that you believe in your own words. Repeating the same words over and over again... Who are you trying to convince? "
Zabuza stayed silent, head bowed. Naruto liked to think that he was mourning.
"Haku cried for you, he fought for you, he killed for you even though he didn't want to-" He shook with anger, hurt, fear because he never wants anyone to have the same painful ending that Haku did. He tries to imagine what it would have felt like to die to protect Tsunade, and for her to wave off his death like it was nothing.
And for Haku to be happy with just that...
It physically hurt him.
"Haku threw away his life for you! He never had a dream outside of being with you. He believed that he died as a tool... He died believing that you, who he adored with everything he had, didn't care even a tiny bit for him back. That's... That's just too sad."
"That's enough..." Zabuza whispered, barely audible as he raised his head, turning to face them. "You both... don't need to say anymore."
The tears on the demon's face ripped down the walls he'd built over how many years of suffering. "It pained him to have to fight you. Haku fought for you guys as much as he fought for me. He was too kind in the end... The both of you... you're right."
Zabuza bit off the bandages on his face. "In the end, every shinobi... is a human."
Sasuke stared at the man before his lips lifted the slightest bit up in a smirk, tossing the kunai towards Zabuza who caught it between his teeth. "Thanks, kid."
"Haku got his arm. I got his leg." Sasuke huffed in reply. "You can have his head."
"I'd like to see you try!" Gato screamed. "Kill them! Hurry up and kill them!"
Naruto stared, eyes widening as the half-dead man mowed down one mercenary after the other, spears and blades piercing through his back as he gradually reached Gato, who'd retreated to the far edge of the bridge.
"Die!" Gato screamed as more and more swords were thrust through the Kiri Nin. "Why won't you die already?! If... If you want to go to the same place as your little friend, then go!"
"Unfortunately... I don't plan on going to the same place as Haku."
"Y-You won't survive this..." Gato warbled, fruitlessly trying to scramble away. Naruto forced himself to watch as Zabuza pressed the kunai against Gato's throat.
"You and I..." With a surge of energy, blood arched in the air, Gato's decapitated head travelling through the air and landing with a dull thud onto the bridge floor. "-Are both going to hell!"
Naruto watched in slight shock at the sudden quiet of the bridge. Gato, one of the most influential men out there... killed. Erased. So simply. Death had never seemed so fleeting to Naruto; he'd yet to even fully process Haku's.
How could he ever become an Iryo Nin? To pull the most wounded shinobi back into the world of living... that seemed unreachable. He remembers Tsunade's words reminding him just how hard it would be- just how far behind he was... And that seemed like a challenge.
"Hey! You guys are too at ease!" The mercenaries crowed. "Damn shinobi, you killed our meal ticket!" "You guys are dead!" "Now we're gonna pillage this trashy city-" "-And take anything of value!" "Let's go!"
"Damn idiots." Kakashi drawled, pulling down his hitai-ate to cover his Sharingan. "We're all at practically top condition."
"Don't just go on a killing spree yet, you dumbass Jonin." Naruto hissed out before he hurriedly ran towards Sakura, remembering that her Genjutsu had been one of the best in the Academy.
"Psst, kunoichi-san." He beckoned.
"E-Eh?" Sakura pointed to herself, looking flustered and surprised. "Me?"
"No, the old man behind you." Naruto snarked before shaking his head. "You still have full reserves right? Can you cast a Genjutsu to make it look like there's tons of our Bunshin?"
Sakura blinked for a moment before a smile split across her face, so unlike the prim and proper one that he'd seen before that Naruto almost forgot to reciprocate it.
"It might drain my reserves quite a bit, but for these civilian thugs... Easy peasy." She made a few careful hand seals and more than hundreds of shinobi appeared, most of them being Kakashi, some of them Sasuke, and a handful of the rest.
To his credit, Kakashi didn't even show a hint of surprise as his chakra lashed out in a spike of concentrated killing intent. "So... you want some of this?"
Naruto chuckled as the crowd promptly fled. "Goodbye candy-asses!"
"Tails tucked, little puppies." Tsunade snickered.
Tazuna shot us both a weird look and Sakura hid a smile.
"You shouldn't lay here so early in the morning." Haku said with a small smile. "You might catch a cold."
"...Whether I catch a cold or not," He muttered after a few moments of silence, "What does it matter?"
"Your friends would be worried, wouldn't they?" He crouched down beside the boy. "If you get sick, that is."
"I don't have friends." Sasuke sat up, hand hovering near his weapons pouch before he exhaled heavily and sat cross-legged.
"Oh? But aren't you..." Haku tilted his head to indicate his forehead. "A Konoha ninja?"
"Hn." Sasuke scoffed. "Don't call me that- I'm... I'm not 'Konoha'."
"Ninja, though." The other agreed easily enough. "And even ninja have friends, don't they?" Haku began to pick at the herbs around them. "Or someone precious to them?"
"...What are you trying to say?" He narrowed his eyes.
"Don't make such a scary face." Haku gave a light chuckle. "I just thought... Shinobi are really strong, and I believe that... people become truly strong when they protect the ones precious to them. To survive in this cruel society of ours, everyone should have someone they wish to protect."
"I... don't have any 'precious' people you speak about." Sasuke replied impassively, "So I wouldn't know about that."
Haku's face shifted to sadness but there was none of the pity he'd expected. "Then I'm sure there'll be a time in the future where you'll have some. Even if it's just one. Because even if you hold only one person close to your heart, you'll grow stronger than ever."
It completely contrasted his beliefs. "You must... sever ties and bonds to become stronger because bonds will only drag you down. Hold you back. Loved ones will only burden you- whether alive or... dead. Their ghosts will still cling onto you like a heavy, invisible baggage."
"And you'll feel guilt." The darkness in Haku's eyes told him that he understood. "Guilt like never before. They seemed so powerful, so present. It would never occur to you that they'd be gone, and they never are gone because they cling so harshly onto your feet, it feels like you're walking through mud."
Sasuke paused, visibly turning over his words before he asked- "...Do you... know about U-... Uchiha Itachi?"
"Who hasn't?" Haku scanned his face with an unreadable look. "Konoha boasts of being a beautiful Village, when it ended up holding the same tragedy that happened to Kiri."
"...The same?"
"My entire Clan was massacred as well. By the Mizukage."
The Uchiha felt suspicion creeping up within him, but he banished it in lieu of listening to the rather personal story the other was telling.
"I was just an unknowing child. I didn't care for whatever type of blood I had within me. My mother was a survivor from the bloodline purge, and a few years after having me, my father found out and killed my mother, and tried to kill me." Haku watched as the child's eyes widened minutely before his gaze flickered away.
"Obviously, I'm still alive." He breathed softly. "I ended up losing consciousness, and the very power within my blood had ended up killing my father. When I woke up, I'd... lost my meaning. I'd become truly pathetic. That's when someone took me in and accepted me- gave me a reason to live."
"Is that your 'precious' person?" Sasuke asked quietly.
"Yes."
"Your... your father..." He looked up with conflict in his eyes. "Do you hate him?"
"...No." Haku began to pick at the medicinal herbs again. "During the time, I'd only felt fear, and hurt. Afterwards, I'd felt such unbearable emptiness within me. I'd never felt hatred towards my father though, because his reason hadn't been a despicable one. My parents' death... They came from years of terror and ostracization. I know my father loved me. I remember those fleeting years when we were both unknowing."
"Don't you think that love was fake?" Sasuke pressed with urgency. "To realise that your father would never have accepted your mother or you if he'd known of your bloodline?"
Haku smiled gently, "What a horrible question... The thing is: it doesn't work like that. During those moments, ignorant or no, my father had treated me with love, and thus, I loved him. I've come to accept what had happened, as much as it pains me, because it led me to where I am now."
"I..." Sasuke slowly drew out a shuriken-shaped pin that the Military Police used to have. Four blue points with an uchiwa fan, white and red, in the centre. "Do you... recognise this mon?"
Haku peered cautiously at the handle, eyes widening at the engraving. "You're... You're the survivor of the Uchiha Massacre." He whispered.
"Uchiha Sasuke, or perhaps the better known name- 'The Last Uchiha'. I-Itachi... Itachi is- was... is my older brother." Sasuke said hollowly, turning away from Haku who'd stilled in surprise.
"And... he murdered everyone I considered precious. And my parents- he- The Uchiha have the famous Dojutsu, and he used that Dojutsu to cast me under an illusion of three days compressed into a single second."
"What a terrifying power..." He murmured.
"And that illusion consisted of blood. Every second, I watched yet another of my Clan die." He'd never said it aloud. This was something that only he knew. Not even the Hokage knew of the Genjutsu. "My mother, my father- I'd seen them die by his hands dozens of times- or hundreds even- thousands?- I don't even remember. And despite all this... I..."
Sasuke's eyes turned downcast and his shoulders slumped even more than they already had.
"You still love him." Haku offered a soft smile, one so tender that Sasuke couldn't snap back, or glare, or reply with any (false, deluded, distorted) denial. Not when the sheer compassion in his eyes made his vision blur from his mother to his brothe-
"You believe that you are full of hatred, Sasuke-kun," Haku could see it in his eyes. "-Yet to have that much hatred means that you had an equally large amount of love."
Sasuke wanted to deny it. He hated because Itachi was- He'd killed everyone. Itachi was...
But Sasuke was just exhausted from the entire journey. The emotional agitation from being outside of Konoha, his Team dynamic never stabilising, and the urgency to get stronger because chasing a cat wouldn't help him kill Itachi. But everything just linked back to Itachi and the hate was getting old. He just wanted any relief from it- even just a little.
It was like half his mind was urging to alight the flames of his ambition again and the other was telling him that he should relax for once before he drowns in this only goal he had.
He wished he could stay ignorant- he wished his mind would stop asking if the tears in Itachi's eyes that night had been true or not. He wished his mind would stop offering reasons why there must be something wrong, because Itachi had always been so careful when he held Sasuke's hand, so warmth when he'd embraced him. He'd smiled at him so warmly, and Sasuke just wanted that back.
Where had his brother gone? Was Itachi of that night the true face of him; was that gentle older brother act simply just an 'act'? Some part of him was still twisting around the blatant evidence and thinking that maybe that Itachi hadn't been his brother. Maybe that older brother that Sasuke adored was still there somewhere... just awfully out of reach.
Which one was fake? Did it even matter? Illusion or not, act or not, the small, suppressed child inside of him simply wanted another piggy back, another story about the founding of the Uchiha Clan, another smile, even.
(Sentiment is weak.)
"I suppose so."
And so Sasuke agreed reluctantly.
"He'd been the only one I truly cared for. He was a prodigy who'd surpassed Jonin by my age, yet I'd never reached my parents' expectations. He had been the one everyone loved, not me. Never 'Sasuke'. No one but he had... looked at me with such... unconditional love. He was a step above everyone else I'd consider 'precious'. He was- He was just... irreplaceable. Even after all this time. Even... Even after all this time, the only words I ever followed..."
"Foolish little brother, if you wish to kill me, then hate me, detest me, curse me, and survive in an unsightly way. Run... run and cling to your pitiful life."
"...Were his..." Sasuke realised, more surprised than he ought to be.
"'Foolish little brother,'" He echoed in a detached tone. He knew those words better than he knew his own hands. "'If you wish to kill me, then hate me, detest me, curse me, and survive in an unsightly way. Run... run and cling to your pitiful life.'"
Some time, his vision had unfocused as he numbly ran over those words. He'd never really thought about them actually, but saying it aloud just confused him. Why Sasuke? Why did Sasuke hold that 'potential' Itachi'd talked about? Why did Itachi think that taunting Sasuke would've gotten him stronger? Why couldn't Itachi just kill him as well?
Sasuke had been unwanted all his life, and then the one time he wanted to simply be drawn away with the crowd (murdered with the rest), he wasn't. Why?
"I hated him, detested him, cursed him, and survived in this disgusting way of mine." Sasuke murmured, still feeling so far from his own body. "Aren't I still weak though? Perhaps you are correct, but what would I know? What could I do? It's been this long... Hating is all I know. Hating is the only thing that I can rely on."
He drew in a breath, feeling it rattle through his chest, before he exhaled mechanically. What was meant to be an automatic function felt like dragging nails across a chalkboard. Slowly turning to face the other, Sasuke... froze.
"I'm sorry-" Haku choked out, hand over mouth, and that apology- it was nothing he'd heard before. It wasn't the stiff condolence of the Hokage, it wasn't the pitying, naïve apology that random shopkeeper gave him, it wasn't any of those unknowing words.
"To never have the chance to do anything- to prove your worth, to reach out, to truly feel 'love'. You've never known it, and that's just so unfair, isn't it? It's unfair how you... how you're scared of the prospect of holding someone close, how you've been dealt this horrible hand. To not understand the overwhelming emotions of treasuring someone from the bottom of your heart."
'Scared,' Sasuke echoed to himself. Was he scared?
"I couldn't even begin to imagine it: to not have a true purpose or dream ever since birth... to be a cast away, forever sitting on the sidelines... to have the one person who showed you what 'love' could truly become to do such a thing... And it was til their deaths! You never got the closure that you deserved and you never got the chance to move on- to find another meaning."
("I offer my sincerest condolences for your loss, Sasuke-kun. It was an err on my part as your Hokage to fail to protect your Clan."
"I feel so bad for you, Sasuke-kun. Mikoto-san was such a lovely woman."
"Who knew Itachi could be so despicable?"
"Kin murdering scum, he is. I'm sorry for you, Sasuke-kun. The loss must be terrible."
"A glorious Clan gone. Just like that."
"'The Last Uchiha'... What a depressing name.")
"I'm so sorry, Sasuke-kun, that you were alone, since the start until now."
He'd frozen because there were tears- tears- in those warm eyes. It made him feel vulnerable despite the fact that it was not him who was crying. Crying. For Sasuke. Had anyone ever done that before? Felt his pain so deeply that they'd shed tears?
"I'm sorry that your brother left you. I'm sorry that you've never, ever had that feeling of holding someone close to you. It's a fragile feeling, I know, but it's a so-called 'weakness' that can overcome anything. And I- ... I'm sure there'll be a time in the future, Sasuke-kun, where you'll have that. I'm sure you'll be happy some time in the future."
"...I wouldn't know." Sasuke repeated in a tone that felt too small. "Perhaps I am scared. Perhaps I can't bother with that. You can't change twelve years so quickly."
"But you can change from now." Haku swiped at his eyes. "You have so much more to live for. What's twelve years when you live sixty? What's the lonely nights from before if you have someone with you in the future? So please, until you are able to smile and laughter sincerely, you'll live. Properly. Live for that moment and if it never happens-"
It felt like someone was squeezing his lungs.
"-Die, and I will smile with you in the afterlife."
"Is that..."
"You promised though! Nii-san, you always do this. You always say this, you liar! You complete liar! I hate you- I hate you!"
"Forgive me, Sasuke."
"Don't do it again and I'll forgive you."
"Sorry Sasuke-"
"It's a promise." Haku finished with a laugh.
"A stranger giving a promise?" He cocked a brow, feeling weary yet light-hearted for once despite himself.
"Friends?" A strange look flittered over Haku's face at that suggestion. "Though I've never really had any." He continued sheepishly.
"Me neither." Sasuke admitted. "Just call me Sasuke, it puts me off."
"Then we can be friends?"
He shrugged, "Maybe."
("What are you picking?"
"Oh, just some herbs-")