-Sakura-
Tsunade-hime's words had sent a shockwave through her, blasting her head from where it had been lolly gagging around in her fantasies. It shook her to the core, the expression on her face wasn't even hateful, it was just patronising, disappointed and a tad sad. Sakura almost wanted her to spit out insults but no- everything the Sannin had said was true.
"I would think the top 'kunoichi' of the class would know better than that."
'Love clouds the mind- it perseveres through all!' ...Is what she might've said if she would've continued to be stubborn and stupid.
"Obviously, I am not taking any of you three as apprentices."
After all her mistakes had been thrown into her face, Sakura herself didn't feel ready to leave the Academy, much less becoming an apprentice.
"And you, Haruno. Highest grading kunoichi? How did you manage to do that? With that repulsive farce of a sweet girl you are trying to pull?"
That statement had spoken for itself.
Sakura's prodigious control over chakra was what first triggered the idea of 'shinobi'. Her parents had jumped in glee, speaking about the heroic acts of beautiful kunoichi.
"Femme fatale." Her Mum had gushed to her daughter.
"Bring honour to our Haruno name." Her Dad had smiled widely.
Then after two or so years in the Academy, she had been slapped awake- shinobi were shinobi. Some days, she had stared at the long list of KIA shinobi on the stone and wondered whether or not they regretted becoming a shinobi.
"You've become less ladylike." Her Dad had frowned.
"Why are you so serious now?" Her Mum's brows had been downturned. "Studying all day on ways to kill people-"
From that day on, Sakura had sat with her legs together, walked stiffly so that her dress wouldn't stretch, grew her hair into a beautiful waist-length, clasped her hands together and raised her brows slightly so that her eyes would be bigger and cuter. Sasuke-kun had no longer been a subject of interest, it had become a crush verging on obsession- scratch that, it was obsession.
Inner had appeared that same day.
Then after another few years, those nihilistic thoughts on shinobi had left. (Inner grew louder.)
Academy was for ninja and the Academy wasn't scary at all. (Inner grew scarier.)
Sasuke-kun was hot and Ino-pig was her rival. Naruto-baka was stupid and- and-
And she forgot everything about the life of a shinobi. Those deaths had never sunk in. The risk had never fully processed in her mind. She couldn't imagine seeing blood outside of a blood nose or a scraped knee. She couldn't imagine seeing fights outside of Naruto-baka wrestling with Sasuke-kun- and losing as always.
Tsunade-hime's eyes burnt into her yet all it took was the clueless expression on Naruto's face.
It was like a trigger for everything to happen like it usually did- his ignorant face slapping the play button on where the classroom had halted. It was like instinct because of how many times she had done it-
(How easy it was to respond to that tugging of Inner, an aggressive movement flying out of her thin limb like second nature.
How easy it was to prattle off information, peeking to see if Sasuke-kun had witnessed her intelligence.
How easy it was to sneer at Naruto's ever present stupidity...)
He deserved a punch, a reprimand and then he would give a despondent apology.
That didn't happen. Well it did, but if she squinted, she could tell that everything had gone wrong somewhere.
The laughter- it sent shivers up and down her spine. It made her feel like a hypocrite because she was just as prepared to laugh at Tsunade-hime's statement as the rest of the class was. As if Naruto could pass the Genin exam. He slept during class, skipped out on lectures, caused constant trouble and didn't even take notes!
Sakura was always annoyed at Naruto for declaring to become Hokage then falling asleep during an important lecture. There were a wealth of information that he lost purely because of his laziness- then he gets sad about failing a test as if it wouldn't have obviously happened.
Sakura was prepared to list every reason why he wouldn't pass when Naruto uttered a foreigner's phrase. At that moment, she had halted.
She hadn't thought "traitor" or "foreigner", she had thought "I didn't know that Naruto knew that" with a sort of strange curiosity.
How did he learn it? Was it simply overheard? If so, then did Naruto have more talents? More hands on then actually taking notes? Would Naruto actually be successful if someone privately tutored him? Was there a reason why he couldn't focus during class?
There were many psychological factors Sakura could list that could hinder his growth...
But obviously her classmates hadn't shared the same sentiment, whispering and murmuring with so much hidden acidity that she felt like ice had frozen across the room. A snicker was filled with derision, a giggle was menacing, those chortles were full of brimming hatred.
It was so unlike them. Hanako-kun was always so cheerful and playful, Aina-chan was helpful and caring, Hima was soft and sweet and... and...
Why?
She was on the verge of crying in fear and weakness just from being near the target of those disgusted, scornful stares. But the actual target was...
When she shot a glance at that annoying, rude, dumb, lazy and lame blond boy, she was tearful and slightly bewildered to see that Naruto just looked accepting.
Accepting.
Motionless.
Unfeeling.
Tired.
Blank.
('Smile please.' Sakura internally cried. 'Smile that stupid, ugly grin that makes me squint at how bright it is.')
Naruto did not smile.
He disappeared. Shooting out the window with the speed Sakura had never seen from the practice spars or the Taijutsu assessments before.
The window clicked shut with a dull thud and she felt shocked.
Naruto had left before Sakura had a chance to sort out her emotions. ('Why would he wait for you?')
Before Sakura had a chance to defend Naruto against her (ex) friends. ('Hoh, are you attached now?')
Before Sakura had a chance to apologise. ('What would you apologise for?')
Before Sakura had a chance to tell Naruto that she didn't mean all the insults and punches and mocks and taunts and dismissals and- god there was so much things she had spat at the boy and it was only now when she felt remorseful.
Maybe if Sakura hadn't been blinded by her obsession with Sasuke, she would've been nicer to Naruto. If she had helped him, would he have stopped with his exaggerated pining and scrambles for attention? Would she have supported his dream? Would he have been a good friend to Sakura?
Sakura wouldn't lie to herself and say that his foolery was the only reason why she had disliked him. No, she had also disliked him because Naruto was the only person who could get a reaction out of Sasuke. Sakura had disliked someone because of a stupid crush. And now look, she only felt guilty after it was too late.
She thought she had dislike Naruto, but in the face of those eyes, she'd rather ditch all her fake, two-faced friendships with Hanako, Aina and Hima and stand with Naruto.
('You realised just now? You mean you just realised-')
Inner's voice whispered, '-how horribly wrong you have been?'
('Inner,' Sakura breathed in reply. 'Who's side are you on?'
'Yours.' Inner gushed back. 'I'm always on your side.')