harriet Robinson
The weather was exceptionally cold, with snow-white flakes cascading from the gloomy black sky. The streets were bustling more than usual. On the first day of January, post-Christmas night, numerous couples gathered near the snack cart. It was evident that sales were brisk during these times when citizens ventured out to socialize, exchange gifts, enjoy good times, and create beautiful memories.
Despite the continuous surge of customers around the snack cart, I found myself still taking orders. Concealing a slight frown behind my composed smile, I slipped one hand into the pocket of my well-worn coat. I rubbed it briskly against the inner fabric, seeking a bit of warmth in the midst of the chilly weather.
"Two sandwiches, please..." A man remarked.
A man in his twenties remarked, prompting a smile as I prepared their order. The man gently circled his partner's shoulders, deftly wrapping the cloth around her neck. Simultaneously, her right hand toyed with the luxurious necklace, passing it between her fingers, accompanied by a radiant smile.
"It's ready, mister," I announced.
I handed the sandwiches to the couple, following up with my customary, "Happy New Year..."
The woman responded with a warm smile, revealing her pearly teeth, and said, "You too..."
She waved at me before continuing on her way. I thought she was exceptionally pleasant. Her partner appeared quite fortunate. She didn't seem to belong to Class E. I couldn't help but ask sarcastically, "Does anyone from this class even look happy...?"
The couple turned out to be the final customers. The ingredients had been completely sold out, and it was already midnight. The cold was biting, and I could scarcely feel my limbs.
I closed the glass window of the cart and pushed it through the narrow alley. The dimly lit lamps created a gloomy atmosphere. Red decorations adorned the street, hanging from wooden windows, with only a few passers-by along the way.
I walked past the small bakery operated by Mr. "Adelete," and I noticed the closed door with a small sign hanging in the front:
"Closed."
"This is just what I was missing."
I sighed heavily. The day had been incredibly long and challenging, and I felt completely hopeless.
All the stores I used to work in had closed half an hour ago, and I needed to buy some food. Strangely, I found myself unable to spend a penny of the money I had collected.
Returning the cart to old Robert on time, I didn't want to leave a bad impression. He had been generous enough to lend me his cart for work three times a month.
"Wait... Flòga! Wait..." the young man stumbled, rushing from the end of the corridor. He knelt down with his hands on his knees in a desperate attempt to catch his breath.
A frown appeared on my face. I was about to scold him when he forcefully pushed me into a narrow basement behind the complex. He closed my mouth with his hands, firmly restraining me against my struggling attempts. I was on the verge of hitting him. My chest contracted, and my blood froze in my veins.
I ceased all attempts to resist, immobilized by fear, unable to draw a single breath.
The noise persisted in the street for another ten minutes before fading away towards the main street.
My legs grew stiff, and I slipped into a state between consciousness and unconsciousness. The young man released my mouth, seizing my arm instead, and forcefully pulled me behind him to the opposite side.
A majestic scream echoed, accompanied by the deafening cacophony of weapons and explosions. We halted near the "agora," entered a building, and sought refuge in one of its side structures. The young man leaned against the wall, attempting to catch his breath once more. His panting was labored, and his hands trembled violently.
"S... Simon! W... What is that thing?" My voice trembled as I desperately forced the words out. Simon's eyes locked onto mine, and the corners of his eyes became wet with tears. He was still a young man of fifteen years old, clenching his fists in an attempt to control his trembling.
"Sector H has collapsed, the League is on alert, the stockade is unstable, and..." My face withered, and my heart nearly stopped in fear. Simon bit his lower lip.
"The central areas have been fortified, the tower is reconfiguring the main radar, we have been exiled along with Area H and the Western City, we are being subjected to genocide..."
"S... Simon! W... What is that thing?" My voice quivered as I struggled to articulate the words. Simon's gaze locked onto mine, his eyes moistening at the edges. Despite his fifteen years, he clenched his fists in an effort to steady his trembling.
"Sector H has collapsed, the League is on high alert, the stockade is unstable, and..." My complexion drained, and fear clutched at my heart. Simon bit his lower lip.
"The central areas have been fortified, the tower is reconfiguring the main radar, we've been exiled alongside Area H and the Western City, we're staring at nothing short of genocide..."
My heart had already plummeted. Would we be sacrificed to fend off the monsters? Where were the League, the Military, and Civil Defense? What about the Council and the "vîas"? Weren't we supposed to be offered as a cursed sacrifice for them to protect humanity?
Why? Why the hell were they willing to sacrifice so many lives? How could they boast about their strength when they were too weak to protect everyone?
Anger and sadness swirled within me. How was I supposed to navigate this situation? Were we going to die? What about the child I carried in my body? Only two months had passed since I gained my freedom. How could I say goodbye to him without touching or hugging him? Why was the world so terrible?
I was completely immersed in my thoughts, swallowing my saliva with difficulty. The noise outside was escalating. Damn it, now was not the right time to collapse.
My ears trembled at the strangled sob of the young man sitting next to me. My heart contracted further as we sat in the corner of the dark basement. I touched his shoulder with my right hand in an attempt to calm him, but it only worsened my stress. How do I tell him that now is not the time to cry?
"We're finished before we even begin, Flòga! They're avenging our rebellion..."
My mouth dropped again as I stared into his tear-filled eyes with a heartbroken expression, horrified as a shiver ran through my blood.
"Don't talk nonsense, Simon... this is nonsense."
I smiled sarcastically while cowering in the corner. Impossible! I didn't want to believe. No, no, I won't believe.
"It's the truth, Flòga. We're the reason."
The corners of my mouth twitched, but I didn't waver. Never. I'll never believe. Never. Never. I shook my head violently, repeating it. Constantly wrong.
Yes, this is not true. We are victims, not guilty. His crying intensified when he added again,
"We had to accept our fate, Flò..."
"Shut up,"
I shouted at him, "Shut up..." I shouted again, with a sharper voice, covering my ears roughly with both hands.
"Everyone will be annihilated, all because of us, we are the reason."
The screaming broke out again. He didn't stop talking nonsense. I felt hate, emotion, and pain, a lot of pain...
The sound of a slap echoed in the air. Finally, he stopped speaking. There was calm inside the basement, similar to the chaos outside. I laughed hysterically at first before ending up crying bitterly.
I fell to the ground weakly, wailing like a coward. I looked at his terrified face. His color had completely disappeared. He seemed even more frightened, confused.
"Stop, please, stop..."
I swallowed my saliva for the umpteenth time, then I looked at him again. His expression had softened a little.
"What exactly did we do wrong? Huh?"
Tears didn't stop flowing abundantly. I squeezed his shoulders with relative force.
"Was it the desire to live as humans, which is impossible for us?"
I gasped with difficulty.
"Why can't we have rights? To be treated like livestock presented to its master to serve him with our souls under the pretext of protection, to have our right to life taken away for the most trivial things, to have our bodies taken by force against our will, to serve with all dedication in exchange for humiliation and indignity, to not have the right to hold our children or see them once after the torment of carrying them in our bodies and their birth..."
I sat helplessly, staring at Simon's collapsed face.
"All we wanted was a family, a loving mother and father, going to school, friends, a husband and children to grow up with you. We did not ask to be slaves for protection. I don't want a life like this in exchange for survival. You have never seen a rehabilitation center, you have never seen a central educational establishment, you have not yet been married off to a man whose face you have never seen, a man who does not even look at you while he is tearing you apart and torturing you. All that matters is the harmony factor, you. You are not important at all. Your life is not worth the wing of a mosquito. Did we have to continue even when we did not know whether we might live until tomorrow or not because of the mood of one person? Was escaping a big dream for us?"
I felt weak and vulnerable while listening to the agonized screams outside. I couldn't stop crying, thinking that our desire to live had taken so many lives.
I felt two warm hands hugging me. Simon's body was still trembling at the impact of the bitter truth. He whispered in a broken voice,
"I'm sorry..."
He put his hands around my neck tightly. He's still young, he doesn't know anything. It only took me two years to realize that I've grown horribly.
I hugged him back with the same amount of force, perhaps out of fear.
"Don't apologize, my dear. We have become sinners because we wanted to. We had no right to dream; I included you in all this nonsense. The one who should apologize is not you. I am the only one at fault here."
I said my words with the last drop of courage I had left. It is true that I had built many dreams and raised the ceiling of my hopes so much. I had forgotten that my fall would occur so quickly and with this amount of pain.
It was a clear fact. Being "Thysìa" makes you far from being a person or human. Even as a human being, you are just a sacrifice to honor the "vìas", you are nothing but a tool for sharpening the executioner's sword, so that he can better execute the sinners, then you must forget those few years in which you lived as a person, being an obedient puppy and useful livestock, then you will be rewarded according to your loyalty to your master.
"It is too late to withdraw now. Let's continue to hold on to this hope until our last moment, Simon."
He lay down on the cold floor, placing his head on my thigh, allowing himself to relax with gasps escaping from his mouth from time to time. I threw my head against the fragile wall in surrender while hearing the sound of the hard legs of the hinge behind the cellar door colliding with each other.
I noticed neck thorns with a row of sharp teeth forming two layers of knives, ready to cut our flesh and crush our bones. I patted Simon's relaxed back. He was lucky because he had fallen into a deep sleep. He wouldn't have been so calm while looking at the six black eyes at the top of the forehead.
The giant ant raised its front legs in an attempt to break down the iron door, showing... Her six other legs.
I caressed my stomach with my fingers. Death was inevitable, but I wished I could see you for once, my angel. I closed the boy's ears when the door broke. Long black lists stretched across the narrow cellar entrance. I was scared as hell.
Despite everything, death is still more painful at the hands of these creatures. Who among us does not fear pain? We all do. My life passed in front of my eyes. I remembered when my parents used to pamper me when I was young. I was too simple to understand the reality of this world. I wished I had only stayed young and never taken the test. How stupid and naive I was, but I was happy. I was less miserable than... now.
I think that the League has already taken its revenge. No "Thessian" would ever think of escaping from the center or from its master, but I still see that their vengeance was brutal and inhuman. There are many innocent people in the affected sectors, including children, the elderly, and young people.
I suddenly remembered the couple, I hoped they were okay. It was the first time someone had been friendly with me. Aside from the fact that I was a Thìsya runaway, no one would have known just by looking at me. I was hiding the evidence well.
The giant ant was finally freed from the narrow door. She moved towards us. I hugged the young man with the last of my strength. I was completely prepared to take it, whatever it was, but I had no regrets.
I felt the monster's steps against the concrete floor digging into my head. I was far away from death like this. It was cemented in my mind; I would never be able to see the blue sky again, it's like that I wasn't able to change anything.
The distance between us decreased. I finally closed my eyes and welcomed fate warmly. Yes, it is my fate. A second passed, two seconds, three seconds..., a minute, no movement.
Where is my fate?
Do you want to eat me with my eyes open? This seemed strange to me.
I felt hot breath on my face, a refreshing smell mixed with the fragrant smell of cigarettes, perhaps the smell of mint.
I wondered if the monster's mouth would smell like this after eating a soul. No, it couldn't...
I opened my eyes; I felt terrible. I guess I never would have imagined such a truly miserable end for me. I really regret it now. I wish I had been able to jump out of the center's window that day. Nothing would have happened like this; I would have simply died without having to face what I had to face anymore... It's more painful than being treated by a giant ant, yes, it is...
Death is more merciful than this future...