The moment I stirred awake in the 12th loop, a subtle shift occurred within me.
Even though the same cycle repeated tirelessly, the familiarity of it all had become a comfort, and the impending end was unimaginable.
I would not be called Libert Mulling anymore.
I spent so much time in this room. I don't know how long it'll take for me to properly digest the fact I will not have this safe space for myself anymore.
Anna, Father, Mother, Lily—they'd all vanish from my sight.
You might expect me to be drowning in sorrow, consumed by melancholy, but truth be told, I'm not.
My journey hasn't even kicked off properly. My strength is a far cry from understanding the intricacies of this Multiverse. So, why wallow in sadness about leaving the initial mark on this world?
Inevitably, I found myself facing a crucial question that I had been subtly avoiding.
What is my true goal?
Reincarnation and a peaceful life await me in the future, but does it mean I must endure the arduous path to attain it?
If my calculations held true, all it required was complete submission to the System, and it would begrudgingly fulfill its end of the bargain, having no choice because of Fairness.
Just shut out the looming reality that it yearns to control everything, close your eyes, and play along.
So, why not choose that path?
Were it not for my firsthand experience with the twisted nature of this System, I might have grappled with finding a clear-cut answer.
I'm not your typical Shonen protagonist, always ready to brandish a sword in the name of justice. Frankly, I didn't give a damn about that.
I won't actively make life miserable for others, but sainthood isn't my gig either.
My life holds value, and I grasp that truth keenly, having tasted death 11 times.
Instead of diminishing the worth of my existence due to the repeated deaths, I find myself wanting to cherish it even more. Losing it is just too damn easy.
So, why am I ready to defy something as formidable as the System, despite the clear understanding of how fragile life is?
It all boils down to how the System treated me thus far.
It did everything in its power to make me stumble—playing mind games, pushing me towards skills that would hinder my growth, attempting to wrest control over me multiple times, forcing me into its desired path.
I'm no fool; I saw through its manipulations long before Luna Azentine presented concrete evidence.
And I'm supposed to serve something like this? I'd rather just fucking die.
That's my resolve, my commitment to resist the System's influence. It's undoubtedly an uphill battle, but I'll be damned if I let this piece of garbage take control of me.
Maybe it's a naive stance, the ignorance of someone unaware of the colossal force backing the System, but I needed to make it clear.
My motives aren't noble, and I haven't arrived at this decision to save the Multiverse or some grand cause.
I'm merely pissed off.
Honestly, if I could complete my 100 Trials without succumbing to the System's control and secure a reincarnation beyond its reach, I'd consider it a win.
Who cares about saving everyone, anyway?
I might have some affection for certain characters here and there, but they're on their own when it comes to saving their hides. I won't play the role of a knight in shining armor because, truthfully, I'm no knight, and I certainly don't possess such gleaming armor.
If they're desperate for a savior, they can just brainwash someone like Midoriya Izuku into that, for all I care.
---
These days, all I could do was wait for the Growth Skill to do its thing with my strength, leaving me with an excess of time for solitary contemplation. However, considering this would be my last chance to experience Berlint, I treated it as a sort of sightseeing opportunity. I slipped away from the villa and explored the city.
In the days leading up to the culmination of my Trial, this became a routine. With the remaining weeks dwindling, I covered nearly every corner of the city. I visited the cinema, the café, and even the aquarium.
I ventured into animal shelters and shops, embracing the chance to experience a bit of everything before the inevitable conclusion.
The animals in there were so cute; for a moment, I was tempted to ask the System if I could bring one with me into my next Trial. But, knowing the insensitivity of that trashy System, it wouldn't give a damn about my feelings.
Yet, a sense of freedom enveloped me like a gentle breeze as I took each step with a newfound lightness, wandering every day until...
I found myself standing right outside the Forger Family's residence.
What a coincidence, stumbling upon this place.
Since I'm already here, might as well take a peek inside.
With that thought in mind, I activated [Mirage Veil] to seamlessly slip in.
Considering my current Level and Combat Prowess, it's unlikely they'd sense my presence.
Regardless.
Observing the trio in their morning routine, exactly as I'd witnessed through a screen on Earth, a sense of longing washed over me.
The decision I made during the 2nd Trial seems to have its merits. Whether Yor truly grasped the message I tried to convey doesn't matter to me at this point.
I can't help but envy her, finding a place she can call home, while I can't fathom having something like that, if not in a distant future. Although I revel in being an eager traveler exploring the unknown, after enduring countless Trials, I wonder how that might change.
After some contemplation, I chose to leave them be, fearing I'd only grow more envious of their familial bliss.
It's time for this cycle of loops to meet their end.
---
Author's Note:
That's all for this Trial! While it's not been a very long journey, real time-wise, I feel nostalgic already!
Next Chapter, 2nd Trial will officially begin!
For Patrons, I'm almost done with the chap, so I will publish that for them :)