Today, I attain a complete mastery over myself compared to yesterday. The nurses depart, leaving me alone in the room, surrounded by pain. An old man in purple shoes stands above me, declaring, "Today, you've gained control. The time to leave has come. Let me introduce you to your colleague. The one I spoke about, they're here." An old woman emerges from behind. I become furious. I tell the old man, "Go bring someone else. I won't go anywhere with her. She's deceitful, a liar."
"I know she lied to you. It was her mission, and you have to understand that. We had to assess your capabilities. If we had asked you directly, given your stubborn nature, you probably wouldn't have accepted."
"She shouldn't have lied. I trusted the old woman, and she deceived me with malice."
No one responds. I raise my head; I see only the old woman. The old man is gone.
"I didn't want to betray you. I wanted to go outside. I've been stuck here for five years, and you don't understand what you're putting me through! Don't be selfish. The old man told me that if I did this, he would send me out with you. My lie, don't make it messy for yourself or anyone else."
"I can't trust anyone. I can't trust you. I thought you were telling the truth. Does that mean all your words were lies?!"
The old woman angrily taps her tail on my face and says, "Say whatever you want, but make sure you understand what you're saying! We're supposed to leave together. You shouldn't distance yourself from me; otherwise, I'll have to inform that old man that the lost child is gone."
"You can't reach me with this old age. Why do you have to be with me?"
"Because in my weak light, I'm the only one who can bring you back if you lose control beside you, and I won't pass out. And I haven't lived all this life to have you, a careless child, constantly reminding me of my age."
I'm afraid to say anything against her will, fearing another strike of her tail on my face. It's clear the old woman can't contain her joy of leaving this place. She says, "Gather your belongings. We'll leave after lunch."
I have lunch in the room. A nurse comes with a large needle. She injects the needle into my tongue until the last drop. Tears well up in my eyes. For me, she wraps a thin, multicolored shawl with a large sun emblem. We go to the brick room. The old woman and I stand on half pillars. The dwarf with his red-tipped staff spins the sun hanging from the ceiling. The pillar descends. As it descends, the dwarf hits me on the head with his staff and says, "I'm watching you. I don't expect you to disobey my orders." The column reaches the bottom, reaching the parking lot. Six cars with sun emblems on their roofs are in the parking lot. A man is standing in front of one of the cars, opening the door for us. The car goes up the parking slope. I can't discern the time of day. The air is thick, and some people have taken electric umbrellas in their hands. I raise my head from the window and look behind us. I see the madhouse, rotating with a large sun on its roof. I pull my head inside the car. The old woman beside me constantly takes deep breaths out of excitement. I hope she survives until the destination. The car stops at the red light. Some people, upon seeing us, stand in front of the car and constantly bow.
We arrive at a building with trapezius shape. The driver opens the door, and we step onto the red carpet in front of the building. We climb up numerous white steps on the building and reach a smooth surface. The red carpet moves directly and takes us inside the building. We reach our destination. On the sign to our left, it says, "Please refrain from crossing over the red carpet."
Inside the trapezius building, it's filled with various shapes of suns. I notice two beings with red light on both sides of the red carpet. Everything is new to me.
A lively seventy-eight-year-old worm welcomes us. The rest of the worms are constantly moving and don't pay attention to us. He greets the old woman and tells me, "Your arrival has been announced to us." My attention is all around. Inside the building, there is a ground floor as vast as a multi-hectare agricultural field.
"What are those adhered cocoons to the ceiling?"
"Those are individuals who have devoted themselves to worshiping the sun in this sacred place. When they feel it's time for their sacrifice, we prepare them for sacrifice. They are bandaged and will be suspended from the ceiling for a while."
"How do they become sacrifices?"
"Through rebirth. They become new priest worms."
"In what ways can one become a priest worm?"
"In two ways: one through the method they used on you and brought you to us, and the other through the cocoon."
"That cocoon is very small, isn't it?"
"Yes, he's a seven-year-old child. He's brought here with his family for sacrifice. Unfortunately, we're not prepared to pillar all of them. We lack the speed and space."
"In the one or two weeks I've been inside the madhouse, many things have changed. The air has become grayer, and the sun worshipers have increased."
"Please step aside for the service worms."
Two worms with blue light each carry part of the cocoon on their heads. The cocoon resembles a carpet, placed on the heads of the two worms. The manager worm asks us to follow him. We go to a corner of the building, and he says, "We give a mat to everyone, and here we sleep together. During meal times, a metal table is brought to the center of the building. If there's anything you need, I'm at your service. I have to attend to overdue tasks; I'll be excused from your service."
"I have another question. What should we do now? What are the others doing?"
The old woman looks at me and says, "It's obvious. We need to rest. This youngster hasn't thought about it."
The manager worm tells me, "It's a valid question. We've divided the worms based on the color of their light. Those with blue light, like the ones you saw doing transport services. The red light has the duty of guiding the people. Yellow light is responsible for cleaning the hall floor, and purple light is in charge of cleaning the toilets and bathrooms."
The old woman quickly says, "I can't do these tasks. Why do the purple lights have a harder job?"
"Don't worry. We have been told you have to stay with this young worm all the time. The other lights, the black light, which is only me, manages, and the white lights are responsible for pilling the people. The pink light talks to people who want to be sacrificed and prepares their minds. The green light encourages people inside the city toward the sun, and the orange light gathers people around the green light in the city and collaborates with it. Those with brown lights deal with the media here. The Sun Press building is behind this building. We don't have another light here. And about you, it's been said that you have a unique duty and shouldn't be disturbed. We need someone like you. The number of self-destructives is increasing, and sometimes some of the victims inside the pillar, whose sacrificial period is not complete yet, come out of the cocoon, and the traces of suicide accompany them. Not only among the victims but also among the worms that come from the madhouse, sometimes there are worms who commit suicide again. And they may infect others. We really need someone like you."
The manager worm proceeds with his duties. The old woman says, "I want to go back to the madhouse, to my room. I want to sleep on my bed, not on the floor and among the others."
"The time for the arrival of the Sun Worshipers has come. Quickly arrange the benches in rows and let everyone take their place," the manager's voice echoes through the hand-held microphone and repeats.
The first worshiper of the sun, Carpet brings him inside. He approaches each worm, making a long-lasting reverence. Worms with red light guide him towards the benches. He sits in the front row and clasps his hands together. Lowering his head, he sways his body from side to side.
"I get tired from seeing this gathering and commotion. They are very exhausting." the old woman says. "Old woman, if you weren't lying, you wouldn't be suffering right now!"
She tightens her lips and heads inside. All the wrinkles around her lips come out. In the middle of the hall, she straightens her neck with authority and stands up. As everyone enters, they also pay homage to her. The manager takes the stage, facing the people. He says, "Today is the time; we should split one of the cocoons and tie the next sacrifice with the cocoon. This cocoon has been festering for three days, and now the time for its fruition has come."
Excitement fills the air as people eagerly join hands. Worms with white light eagerly crawl up the bars to reach the cocoon. The building has no roof, only barsfor connecting the pillars. They loosen the smallest knot of the pillar and slowly lower it down, reaching the stage. Another worm with white light, who is down and on the stage, grabs the the cocoons and pushes the bodies aside with the tail of the cocoon. The seven-year-old boy opens his eyes and shakes his tail. A worm with dim light like the old woman emerges. People stand up with excitement and applaud the young worm. The manager insists they maintain their composure. "He steps onto the stage, grasping the handheld microphone in front of his mouth and says: "The Sun has accepted its sacrifice. From now on, we recognize him as the Sun priest worm."
"All the people clap their hands vigorously, tears streaming down their faces. The manager declares, 'Today, we bring a new sacrifice into the cocoon. A vacant spot has been found. He will join us on stage." I move closer to the stage. An elderly man steps onto the platform. It's him! My grandfather! I scream in the commotion, but he doesn't hear. I rush onto the stage. He embraces me tightly. In his ear, I whisper, "Why did you send me to madhouse? Why?"
Grandfather said: "It's better for you. I wanted what's best for you. I didn't want to lose you, and I couldn't take care of you. I was afraid of losing you. When you were in the madhouse, they brought the news of your grandmother's death. They gave me a letter from her. She had sent me a letter after years. She asked me to follow in her footsteps and sacrifice myself in the path of the sun so that we could see each other again after death. I love your grandmother, and I can't bear the distance from her anymore."
"But by sending me to that madhouse, you lost me. It doesn't matter to you, does it? Even though everything is in the past now. You can go on living the rest of your life, free from the burden of a dead man."
"I've always loved you and still do. Your grandmother, when you came into this world, went ahead of us all to reach the sun. She thought that with your arrival, I would feel less alone. She was right, but no one could take her place for me. I'm sorry. I didn't want to disappoint you. My dear grandchild, I..."
The manager tries to pull my tail with his tail. He says, "Talking is enough. He is a sacrifice, and a sacrifice won't have acquaintances after entering the cocoon, just like the priest essence of the sun has no acquaintances. From now on, you should know him as a priest cocoon."
I say "I won't allow you to do this with my grandfather. grandfather shouldn't...!"
Two red worms take me away from the scene. elderly woman expresses gratitude for the red robes and says "she will take care of herself." She wraps her entire body around me and doesn't allow any movement. My tears fall on the elderly woman's body. I try to capture the light of the elderly woman, but I can't.
She say "By the way, I didn't tell you. Aside from the dim light, I have a necklace, with which I can fend off a child like you effortlessly! That old man gave it to me. Did you think he would let you go so easily to do whatever you pleased?"
I say "Stop. If they send my grandfather up there, they'll take him away from me. I have no one else. I beg you."
"No one has anyone. All these creatures you see have no memory of where they came from or what they were! They only know the sun. Only you and I know who we were. Because the capsule didn't work. Whether those who became worm with the madhouse capsule or those with the cocoons here, they all go into oblivion. Your grandfather is going among them. I wanted to forget too, but there is torment I must endure!"
I pull myself out from his body; the old woman's words are not finished. I step onto the stage. It's too late. My grandfather is above me. They are lifting him up. His head is out of the cocoon. He swallows a capsule and looks down. He sends me a kiss and says, "To the health of the sunlight in you and in me!" I want to shake my tail. The recently anointed worm child wraps his tail around mine and says, "It's too crowded here. I can't sleep." As tears fall, laughter captures me. I imagine everyone in the hall laughing. I lift my head, facing the people, seeing all the people and worms in a state of reverence and prayer. No one pays attention to me. The manager and other worms are warm with prayer. I stretch out beside the worm child away from the hall benches and enjoy the silence of the building.
to be continued...