I awoke from my slumber, covered with cold sweat, I sat on my not so large but not so small bed and pick up note book as well a pencil that lay atop my not so far desk.
I hold in my hand a large red note with plain design with spring-like bindings at the side, open it and flick it from page to page to page atil I found it empty, then I closed my eyes and tried to remember the dream I just had, about the, the boy and... At that moment my head started to hurt and something warm dripped from my nose.
Without even opining my eyes I drop the pen of wood and coal to the sheets of my bed wand reach out from my empty hand and reach out the object of my choosen hiden within or rather under my pillow, and stop the flowing Crimson substance from falling under.
It was a tissue...
After I was sure that blood stopped leaking from my nose, I tried to throw or shoot the blood stain tissue across across my not so small room of an attic and failed.
Of course it missed.
I stood up and took the fallen blood stain tissue from the floor and threw it properly.
As I looked at the mirror in front of me I faced I youth that looked no older than sixteen with short black hair, sickly pale skin, shaggy curls for hair and a face of avarage structure, as it was a whole body mirror I gaze at the figure below my neck and saw a rather weak and frail looking build, though at the moment it was covered by baggy pajamas far larger than my built.
I frown gazing at the image of myself on the mirror, once every day after waking up, after looking myself on a mirror or any object that can project reflection, I always feel like gazing at a stranger, someone else far remove from myself and that feeling are one of the things I found odd in my life, it was as if my body was not my own, but an empty vessel that I somehow took possession of without permission and somehow it feels my heart with a grim feeling, I know it is illogical for me to feel this way, I'm not an evil spirit that possessed a living human, but myself, yet somehow I felt that that statement is a lie, but even so, even if I really was some sort of body stealing monster, I have no recollection of being one, so therfore I am who I am.
Shaking my head to rid myself of my stray thoughts, I grabbed my pencil from my bed, sat down at a chair beside my desk and close my eyes again and tried to remember my dreem.
That girl with shredded white one-piece dress... That bloody boy... And... That's it.
For some reason I felt like something was missing, but it was normal, most people forget about their dreem after waking up, although some fragments of such dream can still be retained if the dream has such intensity, only a little bit can be recalled.
The nose bleeding part is abnormal though.
Once I was done remember what I can, I started sketching the characters of my dream as well as the landscape in which it occurred.
After I finished my sketch, look at my red notebook, at my finished product, my drawing.
For my part, I'm not realy talented at making drawings, but with hard work, and an unbelievable amount of time, I'm now able to accurately draw what I wanted to draw to a decent level, looking at my drawing I found it although a little different from what I had in my dream, it wasn't really too different from it.
As I admired my own work, I didn't notice that a person was behind me.
"It's creepy as usual" I heard a mellow voice behind me, starting me and making me fall from where I sat.
"And you fell... Like usual..." from where I fell, I gaze up and saw a young girl that looked a year younger than me adorn with casual clothes, looking at me coldly.
The girl has a a face that resembled mine but with a much more delicate structure, translucent white skin and a well comb long straight hair of black, with her slightly shorter than avarage hight combine with her slender build, made her look slightly childish, though in it's own right has a certain charm that made one drawn to her person.
"Jesus Crist, Helen, I told you to knock before entering my room!" embarrassed from my startled fall, I lashed out my resentment.
Helen Ars, one half of the younger twin cousins of mine, who, for some reason hated me, though I didn't blame her for it, I'm just trash that shouldn't realy exist in this world any way, I live with her and her family, my own family is always busy so after careful consideration from their part, they made me lived together with my aunt, uncle and my two cousins.
"Oh I did knock, multiple time in fact, but you didn't answer, are you deff? If your already awake, then answer when your are called you idiot?!" Helen argued screaming at the end of her sentence making me almost faint from shock.
With my less than healthy constitution, I was always bedridden when I was younger, my perents were always busy with their jobs, being neglected most of the time, when I was six, I was hospitalized because no one noticed I was suffering from an intense fever, without anyone taking care of me, I would have died if my uncle hadn't visited my perents home to borrow some tools my father had on the shack, after being discharged, I was sent to my uncle home so that I can be monitored and cared for, though even with that, my condition didn't realy improved much, with my life threatening experience once, for reasons unknown to me, I became much more sensitive to my surroundings than normal, but that didn't mean I gained some super power from that, rather, I found it bothersome to may day to day, as I am easily startled with loud noises, though I can somehow ignore most sound when I'm fully consetrating on certain task, normally I would have heard Helen climbing the ladder even when sleeping... Which I think is weird considering I could ignore her knocking the attic floor when doing a sketch, anyway even though I have this weak constitution I was given this attic as a room, the reason for that is because Helen hated me the moment I stepped at their home, ever heard of love at first sight? Yeah like that but instead of being loved, I'm being hated, illogical as it may be, I came to understand that I'm just a burden to anyone I lived with, a parasite, steals resources from it's host but unable to live alone, with that as a logic, I understood one reason Helen could hate me, but that's just my thoughts.
"...I'm sorry, I was distracted." I apologize, not wanting to argue.
"Whatever, I don't care what you do in your own world, but be more conciderate, Mary is working hard to make breakfast and yet here you are doing... Whatever what your doing, ignoring everything around you." Helen said harshly.
Mary Ars, the other half of the ars twins, a rather amiable person if one asked of her personality, she have the same face, hair style, and body shape as Helen but for beter or worst doesn't really show any facial expression, making it difficult for most people to understand her intentions, making most weary of her, but once one get to know how she really is, most people have trouble saying negative things to her, but for me she looked like she's forcing herself to act amiable, and the expression she show to everyone is her real personality, utterly emotionless like that of a machine, though up until, now she had been nothing but kind to me, so I couldn't really complain.
Helen retreated to the ladder after saying her piece, after putting my things together to where it should be and understanding the underlying reasoning of her words, I soon followed her to the dining room.
After arriving at room I found both twits sitting side by side, if I haven't lived with them in the past ten years or so, i couldn't tell the twin apart, though after having known them this long, I could tell them apart from a glance... Which was weird since even aunt Jes... Jessica Ars, Helen and Mary's own mother sometimes mistaken them from each other or maybe aunt Jes is the weird one, as although the Ars twins look impossibly identical from each other, both twins have vastly different personalitiies, truth be told it took me only two days to tell which twin is which, because of my circumstances, when I was six, because uncle Mora and aunt Jes have their own jobs to take care of, Mary was usually the one who took care of me... Though for some reason I feel like she's hiding something, and I couldn't really give my trust to her easily... Despite us living together for a decent amount of time our relationship didn't really improve that much to our childhood days, but don't get me wrong, if you asked me who I have the most amicable
Relationship in this family, marry is the one I'm most comfortable with, second is uncle mora...Mora Ars, an influential government official, despite his high status, he have a rather carefree personality, in his a funny guy to be with... Though for some reason, when it came to me, he seemed more distant, though I didn't really mind it that much, third would be Helen, despite how she acted towards me, towards everybody else, she's one of the kindest girl in the neighborhood, and she didn't seemed like she's acting, she's genuinely kind to everyone around her, though she hates me with a passion, the last is aunt Jes... She... I don't know how to explain it, she seem to think I don't exist, or rather she seemed not to care that I exist, for ten years I lived in this house, not once have she spoken to me, and the other family members doesn't talk about me to her as well, which I find more than just concerning, I tried talking to her more than once, but not once have that really turned out well, and the other family members wouldn't talk to me about her either, I have no idea what she does for a living, and even if I asked the neighbors about her they would either say they don't know or switch the topic entirely, I don't feel welcome in this household, though that didn't bother me really, I even feel bad for The Ars family to have me stay in their home even though they don't want me to, but I'm still grateful for them, if it wasn't for them, I would have died a long time ago.
"Good morning, brother Evan. " Mary said after noticing me at the doorway.
"Good morning, Mary, sorry I took so long. " I said apologetically.
"I don't mind, Helen said, your having nightmares again." Mary said in passing, and Helen snorted silently at her side, having heard that, my gaze slightly shifted to her.
"Are you alright?" Marry asked in a monotonous voice, yet noticed a hint of concern from it.
Before I could answer Mary, Helen stood from where she sat carrying an empty plate, seems she's done eating her meal.
Having notice something amis, I observed my own plate, within it I saw my own meal, for breakfast we are having ham and eggs, that was normal, what isn't normal however is that, for the time I wasted in my room, the dish is still warm, then I looked over to Mary's dish and saw some steam hovering over it, it seemed she haven't eaten yet, and was waiting for me to arrive.
"Yes, I'm alright." I said nodding softly.
"Where you waiting for me?" I asked her looking at both our dishes.
"Yes, I cooked Helen's dish earlier than ours, I know that she'll be leaving earlier than us." Mary said calmly.
"She's leaving early?" I asked confused, not understanding what those word implied immediately.
Marry nodded saying "She said she have a project to pass today."
As if it was rehearsed, the moment Mary ended her sentence, we heard Helen announced loudly from the front door entrance her intentions to depart for school.
"By the way I haven't seen uncle Mora and aunt Jes since two days ago, did they go somewhere?" I asked Mary, finding it unnatural for the twins' parents to be absent for breakfast.
Uncle Mora aside, aunt Jes, without exception, always dine with me and the twins daily, in all ten years I have lived in this house, I could scarcely count the days she was absent for breakfast, much less for consecutive days.
Personality, I have no idea what to feel whenever I dine with the twins' mother, for the most part, I always feel uncomfortable whenever I'm around her, it's also slightly painful being completely ignored, though as time past, most of those feelings fade, but instead replaced it with uncertainty about how to feel about this norm in the household.
Surely this is how family should be, right? I don't really know how a normal family is supposed to function, but this is all I know.
Having not a single friend to call my own, and finding those so called perfect families on television unrealistic, I have no real references to what a normal family should be, though, even if someone told me how a normal family usually function, I would hardly believe them, in my opinion, I'm too far gone to have any thoughts about it.
That being said, I'm sure I'm the only one who think the Ars family's treatment towards me to be normal.
In fact, Helen criticized me for being weird once, but I don't really understand what she found strange about me, I'm normal, though I'm physically weaker than most my age.
"I'm not sure about mother but father seemed to be in another city for government business." Mary answered my question while stuffing her face with her meal.
That didn't answer anything, though...
As I thought that, I bit a piece of ham in silence.