I never liked watching dreams. After them, I always feel dizzy. Besides, most of them are weird, like, once I dreamed how I rode a camel in Shibuya. Back in the middle school, we had a class trip to Kyoto. It was all fun until the night when I saw a dream of Kyoto burning. I woke up in screams, woke everyone else, saying there was a big fire going on here, only to get scolded by my teacher in the end.
bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz
"Senior, don't you hear the alarm? Wake up and turn it off already."
Ah, another dream. Or should I call it a nightmare, better? Why do I hear a monkey's voice in my dream? I suffer enough during the day already.
"Mhm~"
"Seeeeeeeeeeeenior!"
Out of a sudden, I felt a foot on my face. This one is one of the realistic ones, huh? I had some like them. Like the one when I saw a toilet in my dream and was tempted to take a shit. In the end, I did it. It felt so natural that once I realized it was a dream, I woke up and checked my pants. Thankfully, they were clear. Yes, this one is certainly one of those dreams as well, I even smell foot. Hm? Hmmm… Nah, why should I have someone in my house? I slowly opened my eyes, only to realize I had indeed a foot on my head, if to be precise, the toes were right next to my nose, so I could smell everything in detail.
bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz
The alarm continued to ring, until someone took it and turned it off.
"Honestly, senior, outside of work you are such a mess."
I looked up and saw a monkey that came out of my bathroom to turn off my alarm. Well… it wasn't a dream. I tried to focus my eyes on my colleague. Then… I looked at him in a deep shock.
"…"
"What?" — the monkey asked.
"Why are you naked?!"
…
After I woke up, I began to remember things slowly. Apparently, after the girls left us yesterday, Saru, being in such an enthusiastic state after Tachibana cheering him up, wanted us to have some drinks. Luckily, the pastry-shop is right next to a bar. I was skeptical at first. According to the Japanese law, I am too young to drink. Of course, it was different here, we basically don't have any age restrictions for almost anything, but, still, I had never drunk alcohol in my life until yesterday. One tequila, two, three, and then everything went blank. I guess they were right about that crap of Asians getting drunk faster than other people… The one that shocked me the most was Ogawa, he began his night with some Irish coffee and continued with scotch. I suppose, after we had drunk enough, we all went to my house sole for the reason it was just a couple of hundreds meters away.
Ogawa was still asleep. I tried to wake him up by shaking him a little, but failed.
"Mhm~"
"Furuya, wake up."
"Mhm~"
Okay, to be honest, I didn't put much effort in waking him up. To be honest, the drunken sleepy state of his looked… kind of cute… I never expected Furuya to have such an innocent and cute expression on his face. His long hair… the blush on his smooth cheeks… if I wouldn't know he had the thing, it would have turned me on… oh, no, I'm starting to doubt myself. I shall not be tempted.
"As I said! Such a mess outside of work, you can't even wake someone up!"
Masaru saw my failed attempts and decided to help… in his own way. He grabbed Ogawa's feet, strongly pulled them, and Ogawa fell to the floor. Certainly, an effective method.
"Mhm, mm."
Ogawa finally opened his eyes and looked up at Saru, that stood right next to him at his full height.
Ogawa looked a little down — "…"
"What's the matter?" — asked the monkey.
"Why are you naked…?"
Alcohol is evil. I will never drink again. Especially with him.
***
Ogawa and I were seriously traumatized psychologically by a certain monkey, and our faces could tell it right ahead. The only thing that remained for this morning to be perfect is Yamazaki…
"Hm? Why are your faces like this? I didn't even say a thing yet. You know, I have a heart too?"
"…"
"…"
The fate is definitely joking with us. We met Yamazaki at the entrance.
"Hewwo Mhr. Yhmzaki" — in contrast to us, Masaru was in a good mood, chewing his sandwich he bought in a supermarket on our way to work.
"You have finally come back to your ape roots and lost your ability to articulate?
Masaru snorted
"What's wrong with them" — the devil's servant pointed at us.
"Weak…" — answered Saru and shrugged his shoulders.
…
The headache hasn't stopped for a moment, but work is work. I somehow managed to have several calls with the customers and candidates.
Ogawa, though, struggled a lot. His calm look and appearance changed to an irritated and sleepy one. He couldn't concentrate on work at all and had more coffee than usual. Some time later, he simply hid his face in his elbow, lying on the corner of the table. If someone told me that my coworker Ogawa was so bad at handling alcohol, I wouldn't believe them.
…
Name: Ogawa Furuya
Attributes: loves coffee, is handsome (could be a girl)
Skills: stealth, telepathy(?)
Weakness: is sometimes too straightforward, alcohol
…
beep
A message popped out in the lower-left corner. A new request? Seems like that. I opened the email, the customer's name was Püjöl, after a fast check-up I found out he's a new one. I added him to the system and looked at the request itself. Hmmm… a short one…
Dear Humans,
I'd like to request a woman.
Sincerely,
Püjöl.
I blinked. A woman. Okay? My head was a bit too dizzy to clearly understand the request from first glaze. Someone needs a woman, huh? Well, CanPool may have someone with such a profession. I simply had to…
Wait a minute…
Woman is not a qualification like being an economist or engineer! That's, that's… I looked once more at the request.
Just what the… How am I supposed to understand what they mean? Do they mean… that? Or did the client just miss something very crucial?
Thankfully, he let his contact info in the request. Before rejecting this weird request, I thought I should at least hear him out.
I took the phone and called the number.
"Ah, is it Mr. Püjöl? Divine HR Ltd., Fukuhara Kazuya."
"Greetings, Fukhra" — a calm and warm voice answered.
"It's Fu… never mind. I'm calling to clarify your request"
"Ah, yes. I hear you."
"Yes. You wrote that you'd like to request a woman. Excuse me for asking, but I need to understand the purpose."
I had to think twice before asking it this way.
Saru was drinking a juice at the moment. However, as he heard my words, his face blew up with laughter. Trying to hide it, he closed his mouth with a hand, staring at me. Monkey's giggling was a torture to my nerves.
However, simply asking for a woman itself is already an odd request, but if he wants one for himself, it's a violation of the company's rules. I'll have to reject him and inform my higher-ups.
"Yes, a woman" — a calm voice from the other side continued. Trying to understand my confusion, he said, — "Any profession, maybe not so old".
Well. At least, I understood that candidate can have any direct specialization.
"I understood, but what exactly is she supposed to do? Women can do plenty of things…"
Yamazaki from the edge of the hall looked at me. I could see he had something to tell about. I meant that "women" as characteristics does not mean something special, you old sexist!
"Well. That doesn't matter. However, if she were talented, it would be nice."
Saru hid his face in the desk. I regret I hadn't gone to the private room for this call…
Only the client whom I was talking to could understand why I was calling. However, for someone, this dialogue may definitely seem too awkward.
"It's for a hero."
A hero? I doubt his world summoned one for itself, he probably requested one from our competitors then.
"I'm afraid I still don't get the reason, sir" – I responded.
"A hero I got from a different company is quite troublesome" – Püjöl sighed – "He is immature and asks for rewards just for breathing air. I managed to convince him by telling him that I'll get him a woman at his party."
What a hassle. Why don't you ask that company again then?
"I will not request anyone from them. They lost my trust."
Yeah, that makes sense…
"May I ask you whom you requested to?"
"The Hero Consultation."
Huh… they are known for delivering trash products, what did you expect? Whatever.
"Understood. But I'll have to check something before taking the request. I hope you understand."
The man agreed and I ended the call.
Masaru was still giggling.
"Shut up!" — I yelled at him, trying to beat the hell out of the monkey.
"Shhh!" — Ogawa hissed painfully, holding his own head, — "Just… shh…" — he asked for silence, before returning to his previous state.
I stopped beating Saru and looked at the ceilings. It's not a usual request. It doesn't require specific skills. Just one, to be female. It's basically a prostitution request. Immoral. That was my first thought.
I closed my eyes.
Sigh
"Hey, Ogawa, Saru? May I ask you both something?"
"Sure, senior."
"Mhm?"
"Would you accept a prostitution request?"
"…" — Ogawa gave no response.
"So… it really was that one…" — Saru giggled once more. Even my most deadliest look couldn't stop him this time — "Okay! Well… ehm… khem-khem… Senior, I am not like this. Only because you saw me n…"
"Shut up…"
"What is the meaning of all of this…?" — Ogawa asked, trying to understand what we were talking about. Ah, yes. He slept during my phone call.
I retell him my conversation with Püjöl. Both of them, Ogawa and Saru, stayed silent for a moment and thought about it. We all came to the conclusion that it's immoral to sell someone for such a task, even if we theoretically have candidates that had been prostitutes before.
"But speak to Yamazaki first…" — suggested Ogawa.
I guess I had to. After the end of the conversation, I went to Yamazaki. Ah, yes. He also heard part of our conversation. There has to be some cursed joke by him.
"If you are really going to ask me what women can do, I'll simply answer: more than you can even think about."
I stared at him for a second.
"Why am I not surprised that you'll say something dirty like this, Yamazaki?"
I sighed. However, I could feel a bit of triumph at the moment. I predicted what he was going to say.
However, he looked back at me. After a silence, he sighed.
"I see. So if it is on your mind, I would rather recommend you to visit some specialized websites."
Don't make me look like a pervert, Yamazaki! It is no one, but you! It is not the real disgust on his face, is it?
However, I told him everything in detail. When it comes to the candidates, he is always dead serious. Someone's dignity, except for ours, it seems, is no joke for Yamazaki. Even so, as I end my story, I could see a grin on his face. He seemed rather enthusiastic than challenged by my problem.
"You've done right that you didn't reject it right ahead and called the customer. The best part — you also did not accept it for now" — he said, looking at me.
"Well, it is what I had to do, don't I?"
"Yes, you are. So, recollect what he said and think about it."
I looked at Yamazaki with confusion.
"He asks for a woman, doesn't he? He created a prostitution request and I do not know what to do about it."
The team-manager closed his eyes. I could see clear disappointment on his face.
"Theoretically, the rules allow us to sell candidates for such purposes. Think about it yourself, it is a profession as well, someone is more skilled, someone less, and most importantly, there is always a big demand for such people."
"So… you mean I have to accept it?" — please, say no.
Instead, Yamazaki looked at me with a dead stare.
"You want to ask me to search for a prostitute?"
"I…"
"It was a rhetorical question. Remind me, what is the hidden reason behind the request."
I looked down at my boots, trying to understand what Yamazaki meant.
"A stupid, infantile hero that was hired via a different company?"
"Bingo. So what does our client really want?"
I thought about it for a second.
"I see. We can send him any woman or a prostitute. However, it will not solve the client's problem."
"Finally. Brains got detected."
"And…?" — I still did not understand what it was about.
"Try to deal with it with creativity. Your request is not to send any woman. Your request is to fix some mess created by our competitor."
"…"
I really have to find someone to change a person's heart?
"Try your best."
…
Finally, the day is over and I can go home. Ogawa looks even worse than before. He puked immediately when we went outside. Poor soul… we have to be more careful with alcohol next time… How is Masaru even doing it? This is crazy.
"S-sa-saru… how can you handle alcohol that good" – asked Furuya, still shaky after he puked.
"Genetics? Moreover, you have to drink some water from time to time. Furthermore, don't drink with an empty stomach and don't eat salty food while drinking. If you would rather not become much drunker or finally meet the after matches in the morning. Those are the basics, aren't they?" — he looked at us with a kind smile.
"Where the hell do you know it from?"
"Ogawa told us yesterday, didn't he?"
I looked at the face of my lost colleague.
"So his instructions don't work?"
Saru shrugged his shoulders.
"Did he himself follow the instroctions?"
"…"
Name: Akashi Masaru
Attributes: is a monkey, doesn't give up, actually follows recommendations of others
Current relationship status: single, in love
Special skills: drinks alcohol
…
Name: Ogawa Furuya
Attributes: loves coffee, is handsome (could be a girl), lacks the instinct of self-preservation
Skills: stealth, telepathy(?)
Weakness: is sometimes too straightforward, alcohol