It was a cliché end to the life of an ordinary man. One moment he was re-reading one of his favorite series, that being the Heroes of Olympus, the next moment a fucking Boeing 747 crashed through his house, and sucked him into the engine.
Yeah, maybe not as cliché as a truck, or falling asleep, or something of that nature, but there was one thing everyone at his funeral had told his corpse that was more akin to ground beef.
He went out in a pretty metal way.
Now, as the man floated around in an endless void, the only thing that really angered him was the lack of something to do.
"Fucking hell, even the afterlife has shitty wait times," the man said as he continued to float around endlessly.
After what felt like an eternity, the deep voice of a man resonated throughout the void, giving the man a wise word he'd remember.
"Shitballs."
Admittedly, it earned a smile from the man, whom quickly replied. "I feel that, y'know. My first thought when I showed up here was 'Fucky Duck.' Though, now I'm not even sure what to think anymore."
No person manifested in front of the man, nothing changed except the tone of the voice. "Yeah, sorry about killing, ya, mate. I was practicing on flight simulator and decided I wanted to try the real deal. You fucking humans, and all your levers, and buttons. Shit gives me a headache."
The man sort of chuckled at the response, not knowing how else to respond. "Yeah, you're fine. My life wasn't exactly the greatest. I'm just kinda wondering what's next, y'know?"
A humming sound caused the void to shake as the being thought. "Well, since you're so fucking chill, I'll grant ya three wishes, on account of ya being a cool cunt," the letter three manifested in front of the man, as he listened to the voice speak.
"Is there any limitations on what I can wish for?"
"Just don't ask for chuck Norris's powers. Even I can't fucking compare to that man, and I'm fucking Big G."
'Good to know that Big G is Australian,' the man thought before thinking about what he wanted.
"Alright, you're taking too long, ya fuck. Here, take some bullshit powers, cause some chaos, or some shit, and remember, fuck bitches, and get money."
With those wise words spoken, the void gradually began to disappear as the man appeared in the sky, falling down into what looked to be a rather expensive body of water. "YOU FUCKING BIT-"
The man was unable to finish his shouting before his body collided with the water, creating a sizeable splash zone.
This was the beginning of Areth Vendecia's odd story.