A/N- Before the chapter I want to make it clear that this chapter is pure sarcasm and disdain. This one chapter is basically the summary of almost all Isekai mangas out there and I´m sick of how predictable they are.
*******
POV IHP (Isekai Harem Protagonist)
I was just your average loser, maybe you could even call me a weeb. I was an orphan until I was 3 years old when I got adopted by my MILF of a mother. Her husband never liked me but this was mutual, and he died while my mother got pregnant with my little sister.
My bratty little sister grew up to be an outgoing girl who regularly brought guys over to fuck and my hot other had one night stands several times a month. I wasn´t the most handsome guy and might have big bones but I was sure I would treat them better than some random guys from the street. We weren´t related to blood but these sluts never even had me in their eyes.
I was finally about to lose my V card to my sexy mother who came home drunk and devasted about losing her job, this was where my life would turn around and take a hold of my destiny, starting by making my family my bitches.
Just as I was about to put it in I was struck by lightning and next thing I knew I was standing in front of the self-proclaimed goddess of lust and debauchery. I didn´t care about her being a goddess because god damn was she hot.
She was apologizing and stuff by I wasn´t even listening, I was too busy ogling at her breast that was almost twice the size of her head. Absolutely not to big if you ask me, just perfect in fact.
I only came out of my daze when she asked me about my three wishes. Oh baby I am going to enjoy my new life to its fullest.
My first wish was a Harem System with Levels, a Status, Jobs, Inventory, Quest´s without punishment, a shop with anything in the Omniverse and everything that a perfect System should have. I also asked for Infinite shop point as a favor but was rejected and even when I made it my wish I was told of, something about it being the same as gaining Omnipotence.
My second wish was the power to plunder skills from opponents I killed.
And for my last but most important one I asked to be the most handsome of them all, handsome enough to melt the north pole, with a large dick of course. Both were things I didn´t have in my first life and always longed for.
And then my Journey to glory began.
I was reincarnated as a baby of a merchant family. My father died before my birth, leaving me and my angelic mother with his fortune.
Being a baby sucked but time past quickly and I enjoyed my life. I was hailed a genius after quickly learning to talk and walk and the title was quickly upgraded to prodigy after I started 'inventing' soap, shampoo, delicious food and more.
Of course the people of this highly magically powerful world went crazy over these daily life stuff because apparently household magic or cleaning spells didn´t exist here. They had more developed their magic into the 'Raining Meteorites' way than the simple and convenient 'I Feel Good' way, good for me.
Apparently, their culinary skills also haven´t grown over the last thousands of years because the thousands of wild animal and monster species all tasted terrible. Luckily for them my Japanese delicates came to their much-needed rescue.
I finally lost my V card to my maid who I have been teasing and buttering up for over a decade. The moment I came in her, a tattoo appeared on her womb that made her 100% loyal to me and allowed me to control her fertility.
After I became an adult I told my mom that I wanted to experience life as an adventurer before taking over the business, she agreed like she had always expected it.
A few months after leaving and I had gotten myself a small harem by my side.
I was having fun with all my girls, including the assassin I met just an hour ago but immediately fell for me when she saw my face, when I got interrupted by an emergency quest.
I would normally ignore them unless it involved beautiful women or rich brats that I could rip off or make connections with but this time I didn´t have a choice because my map showed hundreds of enemies all over the town.
We slowly got dressed and started killing all monsters and some demons in the Inn before doing the same to the surrounding. Although I was angry for getting interrupted but the levels and skills I got from them made up for it, at least a little.
Soon the surrounding monsters were all killed or fled, all but one.
Not far from them a seemingly ordinary unnamed demon, he was taller than a human, had red skin and black horns, like many he had killed so far, yet something was strange about him. Unlike his fleeing comrades, he just stood there, observing them, with his arms folded before his chest.
Even without this out of the ordinary behavior, he could tell that this guy wasn´t ordinary. Not only wasn´t he shown on the map but his instinct, danger sense and sixth sense skill were all going of at max. The fact that the emergency quest suddenly got a new reward for killing the new demon also helped.
I threw a quick appraisal at it only to be shocked by it coming back with the message that it failed. How could it be? How could my God-level Maxed Appraisal Eye of God skill fail?
It obviously had a special skill and I wanted it. There was no way that it was too strong, after all this was just the beginner village and it was at most a mini boss.
Even if it was going t be a hard battle, I would win. I was the protagonist of this story and the protagonist always wins, even if the battle seemed hope less. The luck of us Isekai Protagonists was comparable to the Cultivation world´s son of destiny.