I turned at the familiar sound of footsteps to see Fazio standing behind me. He knew this spot was my retreat, often finding me here at the break of dawn. Though I was fond of him, there were moments when I longed for a companion closer to my age. Six years might not seem like much, but it created a gap between us that made bonding a bit awkward at times. Yet, we both knew we had to make the best of what life handed us.
With a smile, I offered him half of my remaining morsel. Being nearly ten, he quickly devoured it, his appetite never quite satisfied. He settled beside me, our eyes drawn to the horizon as the first rays of sunlight painted the sky.
"You excited to see your mom?" he asked after a moment, his voice gentle.
"She was just here four weeks ago," I replied, trying to sound indifferent, though I could feel the anticipation thrumming beneath my skin.
"Right," he said, a teasing note creeping into his tone. "Then you've been so antsy for today for another reason?" He smirked, clearly enjoying the slight discomfort his words caused me. I involuntarily pursed my lips and looked away, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. "She'll be here soon. It's cute that you miss your mom."
"I don't miss her," I shot back, my gaze fixed firmly on the city below us, refusing to acknowledge the truth in his words.
"Sure," he responded, the smirk evident even in his voice. I looked down at the town, letting his words sink in. Was it really about missing her? The thought gnawed at me. Yes, I was eager to reveal my abilities, to show her what I could do. She'd likely want to provide me with a tutor afterward. But did I miss her? It was a hard thing to grasp.
In my previous life, my mother had been kind but distant, always preoccupied with my father's issues. The Duchess, though, was different. I liked her, enjoyed her company even. But love? That was another matter entirely. I briefly wondered if I would ever come to love them as parents.
A voice beside me broke through my thoughts. "You know I was just teasing you, right?" Fazio's expression had softened, a look of concern replacing the earlier mischief.
I smiled, shaking off the lingering thoughts. "Yeah, I know. Just lost in thought, sorry."
"What are you thinking about?" he asked, genuine curiosity in his tone.
Panicking, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Magic!" The word hung in the air between us, and I immediately looked away, embarrassed by my outburst. After all, I was still supposed to be a four-year-old, not someone grappling with the complexities of two lifetimes.
"Magic, huh?" Fazio said, his interest piqued. "I heard Selahe talking with her ladyship about how much mana you have." I could feel his gaze on me, as if he was trying to see something that wasn't quite there yet.
"What is mana?" I asked, attempting to steer the conversation away from the dangerous territory of my true thoughts.
"Selahe described it as the essence of everything," he explained, his voice taking on a thoughtful tone. "All living things have it, but I don't know many more details than that." I turned back to him, watching the pensive expression on his face, feeling a little more at ease.
"Do you have mana?" I asked, genuinely curious now.
Fazio shrugged. We fell into a comfortable silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts for a moment.
Then Fazio took a deep breath and asked, "Do you have something you're not telling anyone?" The question hung heavily between us, and I froze.
"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady, though anxiety clawed at my insides.
"Selahe and her ladyship were talking about blessings, magic, mana, and power," he said, his tone almost accusing. "They said you should have realized something by now."
My mind raced. The High Priestess must have shared the records of previously summoned babies with the ducal couple. I had been planning to reveal my abilities today anyway, so maybe it was time to come clean. I decided to play up the innocent, confused child angle.
I hung my head dramatically and whispered, "Am I a freak?" I could see Fazio blanch at my words, immediately trying to backtrack.
"No!" he exclaimed, his voice filled with earnestness. "It's just that they're concerned about you." I scrunched up my face, summoning the saddest expression I could muster before meeting his gaze.
"I didn't know how to say it," I admitted, letting a touch of sadness creep into my voice. "I think I can do magic." I held up my palm, summoning a small candle flame in the center, watching as his eyes widened in amazement.
"Damn! That's so cool!" he yelled, jumping to his feet, his excitement infectious. I sat there, holding the flame in my hand, watching him dance around like a child on his birthday. "Selahe and your mother are going to be so happy!" he added, his enthusiasm making me smile despite myself.
But a darker thought lingered at the edge of my mind. Was he happy because it meant I was less likely to be killed? And therefore, less likely that he and his mother would be killed as well? I pushed the doubt aside, focusing instead on the flame that still burned brightly in my hand. I hadn't yet learned how to dispel the spell, so I let the candle flame burn out naturally.
"You think they'll be happy?" I asked timidly, still trying to hide behind my feigned worry.
"Definitely!" he said, still buzzing with energy. "Magic users are so powerful! You might have been too young to remember, but we saw your mother cast a big spell once. I wish I could do that!" He paused, realizing what he had said, and quickly added, "Not that I'm not happy where I am."
I opened my mouth to reassure him when we heard a distant call from the manor, "Breakfast!" The summons broke the moment, and we both stood, brushing off our clothes before heading back.
"Are you okay with me telling Selahe?" Fazio asked as we walked. I nodded, knowing it was inevitable. We sat down for breakfast, the usual setup in place. They were trying to teach me noble manners, with Selahe acting as the second noble and Mona serving him. Fazio, as usual, served me.
"Permission to speak, sir," Fazio asked Selahe, who was the most senior 'noble' present. Selahe nodded, giving him the go-ahead.
Fazio straightened and said, "The young master revealed to me this morning that he can cast magic." Selahe, trying to maintain his noble facade, raised his eyebrows slightly, the only sign of his surprise.
He turned to me, his gaze sharp. "Truly?" he asked. I nodded, and he continued, "Cast something to show me." I once again conjured the simple candle flame in my palm. Mona's eyes widened in shocked recognition, but she wisely chose to remain silent. I was grateful for her discretion; I wasn't ready to explain how I could cast magic three years ago. I allowed the flame to burn out and looked back at Selahe, watching as the gears turned in his head.
"Fazio said this will make my mother happy. Is that true?" I asked, my voice small, still playing up the role of the uncertain child.
Selahe's stern expression softened, and he nodded.
"Very," he said, his approval evident as he glanced at Fazio.
I sighed in exaggerated relief, leaning back in my chair.
"Your mother will probably arrive around third bell. You'll see for yourself how happy she is. Though you may regret showing her because now you'll be tutored and trained vigorously."
I nodded, trying to suppress the thrill of anticipation that coursed through me. Progress, at last.