I remembered waking up groggy, my eyes hazed over and hearing muffled as I struggled to orient myself and make sense of where I was. It was dark, and the temperature was nippy but not as cold as outdoors, so I had an idea even in my delirious state. I reached my arms out beside me, running my hands over everything I could to understand more, for anything to give me more of a sign of my whereabouts. My arms dug into the ground as I felt dirt and splintered, rough wood underneath me. The vague memory of passing out at the tree popped into my head at that point, so I figured I was still there, but I was wrong.
My vision eventually fixed itself, and I could see I was lying on a makeshift bed of sticks, dirt and pelts from a deer, I'd assume. Some sparse wax candles barely lit up this gloomy underground interior as the dark brown colour of the dirt seemed to swallow the light, constricting it. I sat up and realised my shirt was missing, showing me my burnt flesh caused by that pendant of the Purifying Flame. A thick brown salve was smeared over my wounds. It looked disgusting but smelled even worse, almost like vomit and excrement mixed together, but I refused to think much of it past that thought.
I realised I didn't hear crying and then realised the purpose of what had transpired before I passed out. I shot up to my feet with worry as my head met a ceiling of roots and dirt, knocking some free as it trickled down on me, but I brushed it off and kept low. There was only one opening, so I followed the vague path of lit candles around a bend to an entrance of another room. The baby was quiet, wrapped in fur, away from the frigid night winds, and snuggled in warmth. It was a peaceful sight, except for the person I caught from the corner of my eye. I wasn't quiet when I awoke, so they definitely heard me and knew of my presence, but they continued on their business, so I coughed to give them a chance to make themselves known to me and their purpose.
"Check on boy. Comfort him."
I had never heard anyone from the savage lands speak before that day. She spoke in specific broken words, clearly not knowing much of my language, but that's much more than I knew of hers. She turned around and faced me; deep creases and wrinkles created valleys on her face, with sagging skin drooping low with painted blue markings on the visible skin that wasn't hidden by her fur clothing. I thought I was old, but she was something else. I involuntarily felt my body tighten as if preparing for a fight. I was bred to hate these people, and even though my faith was shattered, the contempt for my once enemies couldn't subside quickly. Fighting was all I knew, so I fought against my instincts to become something better, so I sat quietly next to the baby.
I sensed no danger from her, and she didn't worry about me, not even as I threw myself against the floor. She didn't see me as a threat, and I don't know why not; she must've known who I was, at least what I was a part of. Unbothered by my presence, she ground herbs in her mortar and pestle, creating what I could see from the tiny flicker of flame from a nearby candle was that thick salve that was on my chest that was on my chest and face. Well, it smelled pretty close to it anyway.
Looking down at the baby, it seemed so peaceful. This was the first time It had chance to sleep and relax. I called the baby an 'it,' but the old druid woman said it was a boy, so I guess a boy he was. I was demanded to slay this baby, but the more I stared at him, the more I felt... happy. It was a different kind of happiness from when I used to purify enemies. This happiness felt pure. I felt my sins wash away when the baby smiled a big, toothless grin at me. I smiled back, not realising I was until a tear dropped from my eye onto the dirt, but the joy I felt was a fleeting memory, and my sins were far too heavy to brush off.
I wiped my eyes with one hand and stretched the other hand out towards the baby. He gripped my finger tightly with his hand. I remember being surprised at how fiercely he squeezed my finger, nearly cutting off the circulation, but that was a good sign. After all, if he were weak, he would inevitably die, and strength is paramount in the lands we walk.
I must've sat for half an hour silently. I wasn't sure what to say, worried that by speaking, I'd end up saying the wrong thing and something terrible would happen. The druid woman kept focusing on mixing herbs, making the salve as she pushed it into a pouch. Once the bag was filled, she gave it to me with her long, thin fingers that were ice cold. I felt a shudder rush down my spine as her fingers touched my hand.
"For pain. Use on travel."
I had to think momentarily to understand her words, but I eventually got the gist, which worried me. It was like she knew what was to come.
"Can't the baby stay here with you? It's too risky for him to travel with me."
I knew the answer before she spoke... well, I knew what I wanted her answer to be anyway. I wanted to bring the infant somewhere safe that I was comfortable with, a proper life far away from the petulant stain of savage land and holy fanatics.
"No, Baby Die. Go east. Allbright lands."
The Allbright lands... a mythical place far east that was supposedly peaceful, referred to as heaven in the mortal realm. The only issue is that even if the Allbright lands did exist, there is a very real place called the Monster's Den that blocked the way. It was suicide going there in the first place, not to mention with a baby in tow. I made sure to waste little time voicing that opinion.
"Are you a lunatic? I need somewhere safe, and travelling to your imaginary 'Allbright Lands' will only put the baby in more danger."
She looked at me unphased as I stared back, waiting for a better suggestion. My world knowledge was limited, so I was stuck on what to do. I only knew of Bykeep, and everything beyond was inhospitable in my eyes, but she just kept staring at me before speaking a single word.
"Allbright."
All I could do was breathe and stay composed, but I was frustrated, to say the least. I wasn't frustrated at putting my own life in danger but instead at putting the baby's life in danger. Mythical lands were just as bad as the Purifier in my eyes, and then it dawned on me that we all bow to some greater purpose in one way or another. I had my god, and she had her vision of the Allbright Lands. It was a crutch we relied on to get us through the dark days, something we all truly desired.
"Allbright."
She repeated it again, almost like she was stuck, broken. I was weak, tired, and hungry, and I hadn't enough energy to argue. Time was against me, too, as the heavy thudding of footsteps above pummeled the earth. It felt like the ceiling would collapse any second, but thankfully, the footsteps grew quieter until silence filled the room.
I looked down and realised I instinctively hunched over the baby, shielding it from potential harm.
"Wait for night. Then Allbright."
I was tempted to go there just to make her shut up. I knew the holy order well and knew they wouldn't ever stop hunting us. It was true that if something lay beyond the Monster's Den, then the order wouldn't dare try to reach it; that was something I knew would be true peace and safety. The Allbright Lands may be a myth, but It is still a vestige of hope in these dark times. In the worst-case scenario, I'd take that perilous journey, but only in the worst-case scenario. The baby could blend into a village easily. I just had to go far east away from the order. After all, I was the one that stuck out; the scars were that tell-tale sign. I had options, at least, which is something to work with.
Time was a mystery to me underground but not to her. I don't know how she knew when day ended and night began living underground, but I trusted her judgment anyway. I sat in silence, trying to think up different plans, but I was failing miserably, and in my contemplation, the woman stuck her sagging arm out. She pointed towards a small opening, a tunnel barely big enough for me to fit through as I squeezed every inch of it with the baby close to my chest. I reached a thicket of leaves and twigs that camouflaged the secret entrance.
I never managed to learn that druid woman's name or why she was so willing to help me, but she was kind to me regardless, even after the atrocities I caused to her people for decades. It was a good memory that I was glad I could remember.
I waited behind the thicket for silence and crawled out under the cover of darkness when even the air fell still. The baby even knew his job and remained quiet as he lay wrapped up, snuggled in warmth. With my betrayal and my second-in-command Kraxal's death, the men now had no sense of strategy as torches littered the area, giving me all the information I needed to move effectively. Only the silver-tongued Grinvul was left to pick up the pieces and bark orders demanded by the Purifier. Grinvul was an old man who coasted off the success of hearing a higher being, but they both were lame to the know-how of warfare, and I was in my element.
End Chapter