"Why does he need us?" Andromeda asked, looking at the Daughter of Athena.
"Maybe it's a problem that requires brains," Annabeth said. "Ares has strength. That's all he has. Even strength has to bow to wisdom sometimes."
"I'm not buying it," Jakob said, just finishing his burger and now biting into some onion rings. "Ares looked nervous. What would the God of War be so scared of that he sends kids to take care of? He probably might be a coward, but even so."
The other three glanced nervously at each other.
"Joy," Andromeda said, sighing as they stood up and left, Jakob taking the food with him. Hey, he wasn't going to waste free food!
The sun was sinking behind the Rocky Mountains by the time they found the water park. Judging from the sign, it once had been called WATERLAND, but now some of the letters were smashed out, so it read WAT R A D.
The main gate was padlocked and topped with barbed wire. Inside, huge dry waterslides and tubes and pipes curled everywhere, leading into empty pools. Old tickets and advertisements fluttered around the asphalt. With night coming in, the place looked sad and creepy.
"If Ares brings his girlfriend here for a date," Andromeda said, staring up at the barbed wire, "I'd hate to see what she looks like."
"No you wouldn't. You'd be like everyone else who sees her." Jakob said with aa roll of his eyes. "Mouth agape and drooling like idiots. Ares' girlfriend happens to be none other than Aphrodite."
"The Goddess of Love." Grover sighed dreamily.
"Knock it off, goat boy." Jakob said, lightly smacking the back of his head. "We get it, she's hot. She would even go so far as to call herself the most beautiful being in all of creation... which I very much doubt."
"Jakob!" Annabeth hissed as the Son of Thor lightly yanked on the padlock with a grunt. "Be more respectful. this is Aphrodite we're talking about."
"And? I've seen Freya, the Norse Goddess of Love." Jakob said with a shrug before he yanked the padlock off the gate, pushing it open.
The shadows grew long as they walked, getting in successfully with Jakob kicking the door in. They checked out all the attractions available. There was AnkleBiterIsland, Head Over Wedgie, and Dude, Where's My Swimsuit?
No monsters came to get them. Nothing made the slightest noise.
They found a souvenir shop that had been left open. Merchandise still lined the shelves: snow globes, pencils, postcards, and racks of –
"Clothes," Annabeth said. "Fresh clothes."
"Yeah," Andromeda said. "But you can't just – "
"Watch me." Annabeth smirked at her.
She snatched an entire row of stuff off the racks and disappeared into the changing room. A few minutes later she came out in Waterland flower-print shorts, a big red Waterland T-shirt, and commemorative Waterland surf shoes. A Waterland backpack was slung over her shoulder, obviously stuffed with more goodies.
"Looks good, Annabeth... but not my style." Jakob shook his head.
Soon, all of them (save for Jakob) were decked out like walking advertisements for the defunct theme park. Jakob even picked up a disposable camera from the shop.
They continued searching for the Tunnel of Love. "So Ares and Aphrodite," Andromeda said, "they have a thing going?"
"That's old gossip, Andie," Annabeth told him. "Three-thousand-year-old gossip."
"What about Aphrodite's husband?" Andromeda asked, recalling that Aphrodite was married.
"Well, you know," Annabeth said. "Hephaestus. The blacksmith. He was crippled when he was a baby, thrown off Mount Olypmus by Zeus. So he isn't exactly handsome. Clever with his hands, and all, but Aphrodite isn't into brains and talent, you know?"
"She likes bikers." Andromeda said, thinking about Ares.
Talk about shallow," Jakob commented. "If Hephaestus is anything like his children, and having met Ares, I'd choose brains over dumbassery any day. Then again, I haven't met the guy."
This got all the rest of the group to crack up, but didn't comment any further.
"Hephaestus knows about it?" Andromeda asked, picking up where she left off.
"Oh, sure," Annabeth said. "He caught them once. I mean, literally caught them, in a golden net, and invited all the gods to come and laugh at them. Hephaestus is always trying to embarrass them. That's why they meet in out-of-the-way places, like…"
She stopped, looking straight ahead. "Like that." She pointed.
In front of them was an empty pool that could've been used for skateboarding. It was at least fifty yards across and shaped like a bowl.
Around the rim, a dozen bronze statues of Cupid stood guard with wings spread and bows ready to fire. On the opposite side from them, a tunnel opened up, probably where the water flowed into when the pool was full. The sign above it read, THRILL RIDE O' LOVE: THIS IS NOT YOUR PARENTS' TUNNEL OF LOVE!
Grover crept towards the edge. "Guys, look."
Marooned at the bottom of the pool was a pink-and-white two-seater boat with a canopy over the top and little hearts painted all over it. In the left seat, glinting in the fading light, was Ares' shield, a polished circle of bronze.
"This is too easy," Andromeda said. "So we just walk down there and get it?"
Annabeth walked over and ran her fingers along the base of the nearest Cupid statue.
"There's a Greek letter carved here," she said. "Eta. I wonder…"
"Hmm... that sounds familiar..." Mimir murmured as he tried to recall.
"You've been quiet." Jakob noted.
"Well, meeting Ares, never felt like speaking. Plus, nothing really inquires my insight." Mimir pointed out.
"You're the Smartest Man Alive, your insight and advice is always needed." Jakob told him.
"...Thanks, brother."
"Anytime, brother." Jakob said with a smile before he looked at where he could see Ares' shield. "Right, we've got no time to waste so I'm getting it."
"How-" Andromeda started only for Jakob to leap into the air and fly with a burst of lightning crackling around him. The Son of Thor easily grabbed the shield, but upon doing so something must've snapped because the ride ended up moving.
"Oh! now I remember!" Mimir suddenly said. "Eta is 'H'. For Hephaestus. No doubt he made this a trap for his wife and Ares, and..."
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